I want you to this morning turn with
me to the beginning of the Bible, Genesis
chapter three, and I guess we're continuing in
the same mode as last Sunday morning, but
with a very unique message for our time.
We had our wedding yesterday, had this wonderful
wedding service.
We've got another wedding coming up in just
a day under five weeks.
And so again, it's just wonderful that we
have a message here reminding you concerning what
the Bible says concerning the marriage, but it's
for all of us.
And I believe this message is very much
for us as a church.
What applies to the marriage applies to the
entire body of Christ or the local church.
And so we're going to read from Genesis
chapter three.
It was four weeks ago before school of
Christ that the Lord, I hadn't been thinking
about this message.
I didn't even have time.
Sometimes I don't have time to plan.
I give quality time to study prayer and
the word of God, but sometimes God knows
you're not going to have time to prepare
for things.
And that's always the time where I find
he comes with power and clarity to me
and it settles my heart.
And I'm always, this has happened so many
times I go, when it comes so clearly,
so definitely I go, he's given it so
distinctly because he knows what's going to happen.
So then I walk into it and go,
I could not have prepared.
I wouldn't have had the time.
I wouldn't have had the ability.
So he pre-prepares and I'm always grateful
for that.
So for four weeks ago, he brought a
specific message up that I preached in 2018
in the marriage covenant series.
This is four weeks ago and a very
specific message.
I couldn't even remember all that was in
it, but he gave me the title and
to go back and to preach that again.
So I've sort of fine-tuned it, moved
a couple of things around, but it's that
basic message.
And this is the title, Common Enemies of
the Marriage Covenant.
Common Enemies of the Marriage Covenant.
And this was one of 12 messages I
preached five years ago.
And if you remember, when I preached that
series, we had two weddings in this church.
We had Suf and Hannah coming up and
we had Ian and Eve coming up.
And I preached 12 messages on what the
marriage covenant is with all the substance of
what is a husband, what is a wife,
all of these attributes.
We went into it in detail, but I'm
just pulling this one message out that I
believe will be very timely and fit in
with last week.
Last week, we dealt with hindered by Satan.
This week, I want to deal with common
enemies of the marriage covenant.
And where you have enemies, things, you have
an enemy.
You have a real enemy.
Let's read Genesis chapter three, verse one to
verse eight together.
Now, the serpent was more subtle than any
beast of the field, which the Lord God
had made.
And he said unto the woman, that is
the serpent, yea, hath God said.
That's where the serpent begins.
Did God really say that?
A question mark.
You can recognize the devil.
He just asks a question.
Is that true?
Is it for you?
Did God really say that?
Is it really for us?
This is the word of Satan being spoken
here.
He said unto the woman, yea, hath God
said, ye shall not eat of every tree
of the garden.
And the woman said unto the serpent, we
may eat of the fruit of the trees
of the garden.
But of the fruit of the tree, which
is in the midst of the garden, God
has said, ye shall not eat of it.
Neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
And the serpent said unto the woman, ye
shall not surely die.
For God does know that in the day
ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be
open and ye shall be as God's, knowing
good and evil.
And when the woman saw that the tree
was good for food and that it was
pleasant to the eyes and a tree to
be desired to make one wise, she took
of the fruit thereof and did eat and
gave it also unto her husband with her
and he did eat.
And the eyes of them both were opened
and they knew that they were naked.
And they sewed fig leaves together and made
themselves aprons.
And they heard the voice of the Lord
God walking in the garden in the cool
of the day.
And Adam and his wife hid themselves from
the presence of the Lord God amongst the
trees of the garden.
Let's pray together.
Father, we love you.
We thank you for such a wonderful day
yesterday, this wedding.
We thank you for the marriage that's going
to come in five weeks time that we're
going to be a part of.
We thank you for the marriages in this
church.
We thank you for the couples that you
brought together.
Lord God, even those in an unsafe state
that you brought together to raise up, to
save them, to bring glory to you.
And Father, we're asking that you give us
strong marriages, that you give us strong family
units in this church, that they would embody
the love of Christ and the forgiveness of
Christ and the goodness and kindness of Christ.
And we realize the difficulties in marriages.
We realize the problems that can arise between
two individuals that are born of Adam.
Lord God, and we realize, oh God, the
wrestling through these issues.
And we pray this morning, we humbly bow
ourselves before you, the living God.
And we ask for your grace and your
help.
Lord God, we're not those that are great
and mighty.
Lord God, we're simple.
Lord God, sinners that were saved by your
grace, oh God, and redeemed back to you.
And oh God, we have a hunger and
a desire to walk in the light of
your word.
Will you shine a great light on our
families?
And Lord God, not only that, but as
an entire church, every single individual in this
church, shine a great light upon us that
what we see, even in unity and marriage,
we may see in this church, a unified
church.
Lord God, we want to be aware of
the common enemies to disunity, to cause disunity,
even in this church.
Will you be gracious unto us this morning?
Open your word, apply it where it needs
applied, and come with power that Jesus Christ
will receive glory and honor.
In Jesus' mighty name, amen.
My message, common enemies of the marriage covenant.
Marriage is a covenant.
It's not just a promise, not just a
social agreement.
It wasn't man-made.
God created marriage.
He invented marriage.
One man, one woman, entering a covenant, having
no intimacy unless it's inside a covenant.
No physical intimacy, no emotional intimacy unless it's
inside a covenant.
You know why?
Covenant secures love.
Love needs secured.
Do you realize love is vulnerable?
Love is open to attack.
Love can change.
Love can be lost.
I want to tell you, that's why God
brings love and relationships in the covenant to
secure them, to protect them.
A covenant where God is the third person
is there to protect love, and so God
wants to step in.
He will not honor fornication.
He will judge fornication.
Sex outside of marriage, you will experience the
wrath and the judgment of God.
The love of God will not turn aside
from that.
If you live in sin, you will find
the consequence.
God doesn't even need to judge it.
There are consequences to sin, real consequence.
You can't disobey God and not walk in
the consequence of it.
You will, guaranteed.
But you know, real love is to be
secured within this thing called a covenant.
We're dealing this morning with common enemies of
the marriage covenant.
We're going to deal with six common, I
mean obvious, popular, normal.
We're not ignorant of any of these six.
You know them all.
You've seen them, or you've experienced all six,
or maybe five of the six in your
own marriage.
These are the pressures, the things that come
against your marriage.
But if your marriage is to remain strong,
you will have to get victory over these
six things.
But I'm not only, all these six things
also apply to us as a church.
We need victory over them.
Because the same things that apply between a
man and a woman in their marriage, apply
to the members of the body of Christ.
And you're going to see this very clearly.
We read in Genesis chapter three, the first
attack upon a marriage.
It wasn't just attack upon a spiritual walk
with God.
It was an attack upon a marriage.
And if we had time, we'd go into
it.
And we certainly don't.
We'd need an entire series on that.
How Satan attacked a marriage in Genesis chapter
three.
And you know what?
It was a real devil who hated marriage.
And I want you to understand this.
The devil hates marriage and always has.
From the very first marriage, he set himself
against the marriage, against the wife, against the
husband.
He immediately come in.
How did he attack it?
By questioning the Word of God.
Did God say?
He's not just attacking God.
He's not just attacking your obedience to God.
He is attacking a marriage.
And you know how he does that?
He attacks the Word of God.
If he wants to attack your marriage, he
attacks the Word of God.
It doesn't really mean that.
You don't need to worry about that.
You don't even need to think about that
issue.
You can have that in your heart, but
it won't affect your marriage.
That's the voice of Satan.
Satan is very real.
And as soon as you've got a marriage
covenant, the first one, the devil is immediately
on the scene to divide and conquer.
How will he conquer you?
He'll divide you.
A marriage is a powerful thing.
Two people united in love, under the grace
of God, in a covenant, is a very
powerful thing, a very dangerous thing to Satan's
kingdom.
So he hates it.
He hates covenant.
He hates love.
He hates grace.
He hates humanity.
He hates all these things.
So he sets himself against it.
Don't you realize Satan's wrath is against marriage?
Satan's wrath is against your marriage.
Be warned, you that are getting married, that
marriage is a very beautiful thing, a very
powerful thing, a very wonderful thing.
It's a gift from God, not a man's
invention.
Why do you think our new world order
globalist system has unleashed a tidal wave?
The UN, the EU, the Irish government, all
of our governments.
Why do you think they are attacking marriage,
the marriage covenant?
Who do you think's behind that?
You think it's just them?
You think it's just our generation?
It's just our society?
Absolutely not.
You know what that reveals?
Satan is releasing a torrential attack against marriage
and he's going for the children and trying
to pervert their thinking on marriage.
One man, one woman in a covenant of
marriage.
I mean it's getting perverted.
Even the world knows that.
Even the world says, what is going on
at the minute in our schools?
In the UN releasing, do you know they
released a document weeks ago, actually beginning that
process that there's nothing wrong with an adult
having intimacy with a child.
Do you realize what's being released and set
up and we haven't even seen it?
You see, step by step by step, we're
in a vicious, wicked, evil, immoral world.
It is vicious and the schools, the Irish
schools are being polluted.
Who would have ever thought we would see
come into our schools what we've seen and
we haven't seen anything yet.
You need to understand this morning, the devil
hates marriage and you need to ask why.
You need to ask why.
You need to ask, what is it about
this marriage I'm in, of its potential, of
what can happen when two people are unified?
What is it that the devil hates about
this so much?
What is so dangerous to his kingdom in
marriage that he sets himself against it and
especially in this hour?
See in Genesis 3, we see this with
Adam and Eve and we see the devil
coming against this first marriage.
When you come over to 2 Corinthians 11,
verse 3, talking to the local church, listen
to what Paul says, but I fear, lest
by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve
through his subtlety, you don't see what he's
doing.
He comes so cunningly, you don't even recognize
that the devil's in this.
But just as that happened, the serpent going
to Eve, so your minds in the church
should be corrupted from the simplicity that is
in Christ.
What was he talking about?
Men come and preaching another Christ, another gospel,
ministering another spirit.
That's the equivalent of Satan, the serpent coming
to Eve and her partaking of the fruit.
You know what that fruit represents?
Another teaching, another gospel, a foreign teaching that
is not biblical.
In other words, did God say?
Did God say?
Did he really say that?
This is what he attacks to attack your
marriage.
Be assured of that.
And so Eve is a picture of how
Satan approaches the marriage and the local church.
Let me just go a bit further, Ephesians
chapter six and verse 11.
You know it well, don't you?
Put on the whole armor of God that
ye may be able to stand against the
wiles of the devil.
Listen carefully, the word wiles of the devil,
wiles, that word wiles, the Greek word is
methedelia, where we get the word methods.
You know the word methods, this Greek word
methedelia, the methedelia of Satan, the methods of
Satan.
So what does he say?
Put on the whole armor of God, your
helmet, your breastplate, your shield, your sword, put
on the armor of God.
Why?
So that you're going to be able to
stand against the wiles of the devil.
If you don't put the armor on, if
you don't have it on, you can't stand
against Satan.
He'll do what he done to Eve.
He messed with her mind.
Did God say that?
Then next of all, he says, God didn't
say that.
You can be like God.
He's keeping something good from you.
You can go sleep around.
It's good.
You won't get punished.
There's no consequence.
God loves everyone.
He won't catch up with you.
Whose voice is that?
You think that's your own thoughts?
Absolutely not.
The devil's messing with your mind and he's
very good at this.
He's done it for 6,000 years.
He come to Eve.
He come to King David.
Just look down there.
Who do you think prompted that?
He come to every prominent political leader in
world history.
And so it says here, put on the
armor of God that you may be able
to stand against the wiles of the devil.
This word methedelia, it means secret schemes, cleverly
crafted plans or tricky strategies.
When you begin to understand this word, it
means cunningly hatched methods of guile.
That's what it was when he came to
Eve in the garden.
It was a carefully planned, well thought out,
tailor made just for Eve and Adam.
Do you realize when he comes against your
marriage, it's carefully thought out, uniquely fitted for
you as an individual.
He knows what you're like.
He knows your weaknesses.
So he sits down and he plans.
You know what this word also means?
It means a pathway regularly used, well used.
It means systematic ways.
It means the devil's predictable.
It means he doesn't use any new fiery
arrows that he hasn't before.
It means I can go to my Bible
and see what he's using against every single
marriage in this room this morning and everyone
who'll watch online.
I can tell you his methods, his carefully
thought out plans that are strategic.
He has an arsenal of them.
And he says, hmm, I'll use that one
against brother Jer.
Huh, I'll use this one against Hannah.
Huh, I'll use this one against Eve.
And you know what?
It's strategic.
He's not just throwing weapons of assault.
He's going, I'm going to target you.
I know you.
I know what your marriage is like.
I know what both of you are like.
And I'm coming to attack your marriage.
You know why?
Because he hates your marriage.
And you know something that Satan attacks and
something that he's against.
I begin, I, I'm a thinking person, you
know, I go, why does he hate this
so much?
Why is he attacking it in the way
he is?
And so we see here in Ephesians 6,
put on the whole armor of God that
you may be able to stand against the
wiles of the devil.
These are things he constantly uses.
The devil's plans and attacks are well thought
out, chosen carefully, and they're used in their
timing.
Isn't he very strategic?
He knows when not to bother.
Just you're, you're, you're on high do.
Oh, you're rejoicing in God.
Oh, everything's good.
I'll just stand back.
I'll just wait.
And I'll come and kick you when you're
down.
The devil is strategic.
He is sensitive.
He is secret.
He is deceptive.
He would rather blame your wife than be
identified.
Oh, it's all her.
And he stands back and laughs.
Oh, it's all him.
And he stands in the shadow going, I
started it.
Haven't you seen people in debates or arguments
or in living rooms?
And you know that person, that sneaky person
who has the cunning ability to drop a
bombshell and sit back and he laughs at
everyone and argue.
Have you ever, I, maybe it's only in
Northern Ireland.
There's a lot of them up there.
They pride themselves.
I've seen Christians.
They are proud that they can drop a
comment and leave everyone debating about it.
You know what?
That's what the devil does with a married
couple.
He just drops something, a situation, an attitude,
a thought, a word in the ear.
And then he steps back and laughs at
you because he is against the marriage covenant.
And so we have Paul here teaching on
the armor of God.
But look at the context for a moment.
Ephesians 6.11, the armor of God, the
wiles of the devil, the methodology, the strategies
of hell.
Do you know what's before it?
Do any of you in this room actually
know what is the context of this spiritual
warfare?
Denny is no.
Do you know what's in the verses just
before this?
In context, listen carefully.
Ephesians 6.10-20 is the most important
teaching on spiritual warfare, on the armor.
Okay, have you got that?
6.10-20.
Proceeding that teaching in 5.21-33 is
about marriage.
It's all about marriage, the responsibilities of a
husband and a wife towards each other, how
they function together.
So he teaches on the relationship between husband
and wife.
Then in chapter 6.1-4, it's all
about children, how to rear your children, your
attitude as parents towards your children.
Then he immediately goes into the spiritual warfare
about this battle.
Do you realize all of this is just
before this?
This is why you need to put on
the whole armor of God, because there's wiles,
there's strategies, there's weapons that he'll bring against
your marriage, and you need to know these.
Let me give you six of them here
this morning.
I could give you a hundred, but I'm
only going to give you a six, because
I want you to be aware of the
attacks of the enemy.
Number one, and we dealt with it at
the wedding yesterday, unforgiveness.
Do you think unforgiveness is only out of
your flesh?
Do you think it's only just a personal
issue?
Listen, I believe this is one of the
main attacks Satan uses against a marriage.
It says in 2 Corinthians 2.10, to
whom, and this is Paul speaking to the
church, to whom ye forgive anything, I also
forgive.
For if I forgive anything, to whom I
forgave it, for your sakes I forgave it,
in the person of Christ, or because of
Christ.
I forgive because of him, to help you.
Listen to the next verse, verse 11.
Lest Satan should get any advantage of us.
Do you hear what I've just said?
He spends an entire verse just saying, I
forgive, I will forgive.
I'm forgiving people in the church.
I will forgive.
Why?
Lest Satan should get advantage.
So Paul's aware here, when you get unforgiveness,
the devil moves in.
Be guaranteed of that.
Satan will take advantage.
You know what the word advantage means?
It means to overreach, or to defraud, or
to make a gain of you.
It means to hold onto you and not
release you, or to come walking in your
house when he's got no right to be
there.
So he's saying, if I can find forgiveness
in the church, or in a marriage, you
know what?
The devil will gain advantage.
Where unforgiveness is, the devil comes walking in
places where he's got no right to walk.
You know what he says?
He goes, oh look at that.
She's got unforgiveness towards her husband, or he
has unforgiveness towards her.
And let's face it friends, if you're married,
if you've gone through your marriage, and you've
never had unforgiveness arise, then you're an absolute
perfect saint.
Do you hear me?
The best of marriages, they're going to come
to that day when they've got to forgive
their husband or their wife, or it'll destroy
that marriage.
It will stir up such bitterness in their
heart.
They won't even be able to live with
that person.
Unforgiveness is a terrible thing.
You know what the word forgiveness means?
It means to release.
What is unforgiveness?
I won't release it.
I won't let go of it.
I will not forgive it.
I won't let it go.
I'm going to hold onto it.
And you know what?
It burns within you.
It undermines everything.
So look at this.
It says where there is unforgiveness, Paul is
forgiven because he says, I don't want Satan
to move in on the church.
See, if I don't forgive, you're forgiving.
I want forgiveness in the church and in
marriages because Satan will gain advantage.
Listen to what else he says.
Less Satan should gain advantage of us.
See, Paul said us.
Do you think Paul said, devil can't mess
with me.
He can't get advantage.
I better forgive you where it's right to
forgive because Paul says, I don't want Satan
to gain advantage of us.
For we are not ignorant of his devices.
To be ignorant means you don't consider it.
You don't use your brain.
You're ignorant.
You're stupid.
You're silly.
You don't know.
You don't have facts.
You don't believe us.
You actually do not believe that Satan can
come in with devices.
The word devices there means to exercise his
mind and inventing plans and schemes.
Very similar to the other word.
We are not ignorant of Satan's devices.
You know what you need to know the
plans of Satan's against a marriage.
One of them is unforgiveness.
That's one of his devices.
If I can get unforgiveness in that marriage,
I'll wreck that marriage.
I will disturb it.
I'll steal unity.
I'll steal love.
I'll steal joy.
I'll steal peace.
All I need to do is get unforgiveness
in the heart.
Don't forgive them.
Don't let it go.
See those people, they can't help themselves but
put something on their lips.
The thought comes.
They just spew out.
You did this.
You're asking for trouble.
You're asking for real trouble.
You know what the Bible says?
We ought to forgive as Christ forgave us.
That's the standard.
Do you think you deserve forgiveness?
Oh Lord Jesus, will you forgive me of
all my sins because I do everything so
right?
Lord, will you forgive me because I deserve
it?
You know what?
When you come to ask forgiveness, you go,
I blew it.
I messed up.
I am so sorry.
I acknowledge my guilt.
I wish I hadn't have done that or
said that.
I'm so sorry for hurting you.
Will you forgive me?
Do you know someone who would say, no,
I will not forgive.
That's a terrible thing.
You know what?
You've got a root in your heart that's
going to grow deeper.
That's going to broaden.
That's going to destroy.
I had a man in a meeting once
I preached in revival in Wales and I
preached on the cost of revival and I
mentioned forgiveness and he come up to me.
He stood behind me singing in tongues.
He was a red cheeked older man and
as soon as we finished, he came straight
to me, shook my hand.
He says, my son, I will never forgive
him.
Never.
And I'm born again and I'm going to
heaven and no one's going to tell me
anything else.
I went, there's no hope for this man.
This old prune of a man sitting in
the church, speaking in tongues.
You know what that man, the devil has
destroyed that man.
You need to be careful.
And this is the first thing I want
to tell you.
Unforgiveness, the devil will take advantage.
It's one of his methods.
He wants it.
And in this church, he could wreck this
church.
You think he couldn't wreck the joy, the
peace, the unity we have.
Saints of God, I'm getting worried this morning
in the prayer meeting because I'm going, it's
beautiful what we have and it's shining forth
and people are talking about what we have.
That's very, that just, that gets me worried
now.
We've got to be very careful, Saints of
God.
Don't take that for granted.
We are not ignorant of Satan's devices.
Will you please with me be praying into
this?
Will you please take care?
Will you please not be proud saying, oh,
don't we have lovely fellowship?
Let's walk humbly.
I'm getting nervous.
Not because we're doing something wrong, but because
we're doing what is right.
And the devil, I'm not ignorant of the
devil's devices.
He hates this.
Number two, selfishness.
It says in Philippians chapter two and three,
let nothing be done through strife or vainglory.
That's the word, vainglory.
And notice the opposite of vainglory.
But in lowliness of mind, let each esteem
other better than themselves.
Looking not every man on his own things,
but every man also on the things of
others.
Now this word vainglory really means to be
self-conceited, a self-centered person.
You know what vainglory is?
It's someone who exalts themselves, puffs out their
chest, thinks highly of themselves, and there's no
basis for it.
There's not anything more despicable than a person
who is proud of themselves when they've got
no reason to be.
It's bad enough to have someone who has
good reason to be proud.
That's bad enough.
They get proud, they're gifted, they're able, they've
done a lot, and they get proud.
That's bad.
But you know, with a selfish person, they're
so blind they can't even see their own
defects.
They don't even have a reason to be
proud, and they're proud of themselves.
Oh, it's all about me, me, me.
How do people think of my words and
what I've done and why I've contributed?
And why aren't you mentioning me?
Why aren't you noticing me?
You've got a problem with self.
You really do.
In 1 Corinthians 13, that beautiful chapter on
charity or love in action, that's what charity
is, love acting.
You know, love that doesn't act isn't love.
I love you.
Well, it's going to have actions.
It looks like something.
In 1 Corinthians 13, it explains and defines
what love looks like when it's acting.
This is one of the things.
Seeketh not her own.
Selfishness.
Those who seek their own are selfish.
But where you get a gappy love, real
love, charity, it doesn't seek its own.
That's how you know it.
Let me go just a bit deeper here
for one moment.
In 1 Corinthians 13, this word seeketh not
her own.
How do you know love?
She doesn't seek her own.
The word seek there means to plan, to
plot, to gain worship.
That's what the word means.
So you've got someone there and they're thinking,
they're planning.
I'm going to say that in the conversation
and I'm going to drop this comment and
I'm going to share this or I'm going
to do this with these people.
You pre-plan it.
It's rolling.
Why don't you do this?
Why don't you say this?
And held within this word, seeketh not her
own.
It means so you get worshipped.
Do you hear what I'm saying?
This is a selfish person.
I want to be glorified.
I want to be worshipped.
I want to be praised.
I thought Jesus got that.
Do you realize selfishness is self-worship?
I want you to worship me.
Oh, we'd never say that, would we?
Oh no, I don't want worship.
No, you're looking praise.
Aren't you wonderful?
Aren't you tremendous?
Aren't you better than anyone else?
You're the most spectacular person I've ever met.
Oh, praise God.
Let's build everything.
You're looking worship.
Isn't it so subtle?
Do you know who's behind this?
The devil.
The actual devil is behind it.
It is self-worship to seek its own
interests or profit to get its own way,
my way or the high way, my way
or no way.
If I don't get my way, I'll destroy
the whole thing.
I'll pull it down.
Do you ever see the little kids like
they're there.
If I can't get my way, I'll destroy
the whole thing.
They're my marbles.
I'm just going to take the game.
I'm going to do a runner.
I'm walking out on you.
That's a child.
I've seen that in the church.
God help us.
I've seen that in the church.
You ignore and neglect the needs of others
because you're so absorbed in self.
You're so absorbed in why isn't it being
ministered to me?
What about me?
You don't even think about others.
Selfish people are the most neglectful people.
See, in marriage, you're asking for trouble.
This marriage ought to be about me.
Really?
You really think that?
This marriage, I ought to be the center
star of the home.
You really think that?
How do you stop selfishness?
Well, he gives us the answer.
Let nothing be done through strife and vainglory.
Do you know who's the best friend of
vainglory?
Selfishness, self-worship.
Do you know who is strife?
Where you get someone who's selfish, I want
to be the center.
It's all about me.
You get strife all the time.
It's the best friend.
But look at how you come to this.
But in loneliness of mind, loneliness, that's humility.
Do you know what that tells me?
Pride brings selfishness.
Humility brings a consciousness of others.
If you're humble, you're aware of your wife.
If you're lonely at mind, if you have
a right perspective of yourself before God, you
know what?
You care about your husband.
You care about your wife more than yourself.
You ought to stop.
Oh, but I've done so much.
Why doesn't he?
Be very careful of the devil coming in
on things.
You know what?
He's just waiting.
If I can get you selfish, I will
move in and I'll wreck the whole thing.
How many marriages have been wrecked through selfishness?
You know how it manifests in thoughts, in
feelings, in actions, in words.
It's immaturity.
It's rebellion against God.
No wonder your marriage can't work because you're
a bell against God's word.
Selfishness is sin like unforgiveness.
If you're selfish, you're not worshipping God.
You're taking something only God should have.
It's not you that's meant to be the
center.
Christ ought to be the center of that
marriage.
Shouldn't be the husband, shouldn't be the wife,
shouldn't be the children.
Children should not dominate the home, dictate the
food, dictate the times.
Husband, wife, you've lost the battle if those
children rule the house.
They ought not to be in charge.
There ought to be an order.
And you know what?
The sin of Satan that got him cast
out of heaven, pride.
I will exalt myself.
I will be like the most high.
I will be worshipped.
It's all about me.
After all, look at me.
I'm created as a musical instrument.
I lead the worship of heaven.
I am beautiful.
Who made you beautiful?
Who gave your gifts?
Who designed you?
Who created you?
Do you think you can take any glory
from anything that you have?
You're a gifted person.
God help you.
You better not realize it.
Oh, I can preach.
God help you.
If you ever realize that, you're finished.
Oh, but I can do music.
Really?
Can you?
God help you.
Humility is the cure of this loneliness.
Show me a humble couple and they are
not selfish.
Show me a selfish couple.
They're both proud.
It doesn't put itself first.
Does not think of itself first.
Third of all, neglect of obligations.
Unforgiveness, selfishness, neglect of obligations.
In other words, by neglect of obligations, I
mean rejecting biblical order.
The Bible says things, but you don't care
and you think your marriage can function.
Do you think you can reject what the
Bible says?
Oh, I know the Bible says, but you
don't understand my marriage.
You don't have an excuse.
If you don't live according to the order,
the obligations of the Bible or what it
says a husband is to be on a
wife is to be, you know what you
are rejecting God's order.
Satan moves in on that.
There's confusion.
It's unbiblical.
It's not according to the word of God.
You know what contemporary men look like?
Ladies, you listen carefully.
This is a modern man, 21st century man,
a modern Irish man.
Do you want to know what he looks
like?
Listen carefully.
This is what they look like.
They're abusive.
They're neglectful.
They're adulterous.
If not embodied, then at least heart and
mind dominated by adultery, unfaithful drunkards, liars, authoritarians,
or wimps, weak, a follower instead of a
leader, a yes man and I could keep
going.
That's the modern Irish man or American.
Isn't it amazing that applies to every country?
The modern man outside the word of God.
What does the Bible say about a man?
It talks about headship.
He's the leader.
That's not a modern doctrine.
That comes from the heart of God.
Man and husband and wife are not equally
the head.
There's only one head.
If I stood here with two heads, I'm
going to get glaring looks this morning.
You're just going to stare.
You won't even hear my message.
You'll say, you're a monstrosity.
You're strange.
You know, if I see a two headed
man, a two headed dog, a two headed
anything, I'm going to crash my car driving
down the road.
That is not normal.
That is abnormal.
It's strange.
Something is terribly wrong.
No, no.
We're in the 21st century.
We're both the head.
We both lead.
We both decide.
Nothing about biblical order.
You've listened to the Satan.
Satan has told you that.
Oh no, I'm a free thinker.
Really?
So all your teenage friends think the same
way.
Where did they get it from?
Oh, we're nonconformist.
We don't listen to anyone.
You listen to the globalist latest propaganda.
That's what you listen to.
Oh, I don't even know if I'm a
man or a woman, but I'm a free
thinker.
I'm just initiating this.
So nobody all through the generations ever thought
this, but you're free from the influences.
You're a rebel.
You, you make up your own mind.
No, you don't.
The devil has brainwashed you.
And the devil's very good at it.
It's done for 6,000 years.
He got Eve, the first woman, got Adam
who knew he was being deceived.
New deception was at work and willingly.
Here, give me that fruit.
I'll eat it because I want to be
identified with the woman.
Oh boy, headship.
It says in 1 Timothy chapter 5 and
8, but if any provide not for his
own, it's all about a husband.
And especially for those of his own hearts,
he had denied the faith and is worse
than an infidel.
You know, the man's to be the provider,
to care, to carry the responsibility, to carry
the burdens.
That's not easy.
That's a heavy burden.
That wife shouldn't be worried about the finance.
Where are we going to get our meals
from?
That husband, if anyone's going to worry, let
it be that husband that carries the burden
of these things.
And so the Bible shows us that headship
is not an easy task.
It's one of responsibility.
It's one of carrying the weights and the
burdens, having to make hard decisions, having to
find out what's right.
It's not easy at all.
It says in Ephesians chapter 5, 22, wives
submit yourselves onto your own husbands as unto
the Lord.
So in other words, as unto the Lord,
that's your example.
Oh, I don't believe submit means submit.
It doesn't mean that.
Okay.
Then you don't submit to Christ.
So you may get, oh, submit.
I don't need to do that.
Our submission just means we both agree.
Okay.
So Christ has to agree with you.
That's what it means.
Be very careful how you interpret the Bible.
The devil will interpret it for you.
For the husband is the head of the
wife.
There's only one head in the home.
Even as Christ is the head of the
church.
It's not in discussion.
You have to go outside the Bible, outside
of Christ, outside of Christianity.
If you reject headship and you know, I
don't mean abuse.
I hate abuse.
Men that belittle women.
I hate that.
I detest that.
If I ever see a man abuse a
woman, tear her down, tear down his wife,
pick that up, do this.
You know what?
That's despicable.
Despicable.
You've got no courage, no honor.
I'm telling you that this is real.
And it's the savior of the body.
What about the contemporary woman?
What does she look like?
She's a gossip, a slander, a leader.
She's butch, immoral, independent, and so much more.
She's intemperate.
She can't control herself.
She is a crafty manipulator.
She's an expert at manipulation with her words,
her emotions, her threats.
You know, manipulation is a very low, despicable
thing to manipulate someone.
I don't like it.
And this happens in society, in school, in
the workplace, in politics, in the house, and
in the church.
That's the modern woman.
Do you like the modern man and woman?
Because that is the result of the devil.
The devil has done a job.
You know what?
The devil hates the marriage covenant.
So what he does is redefine a man
and woman, redefine their roles, and then say,
okay, have your nice Christian marriage.
Have your nice wedding.
But you know what?
We're taking out biblical order.
Now try to have a marriage.
You're both equal.
You're both leads.
You both strive for supremacy.
You both should be worshipped.
I'm not going to forgive you.
Go on, have your nice marriage.
It's not built on Christ or the word
of God.
You're going to have utter, utter conflict.
The man is called the head.
You ought to carry the burdens.
You know what I always said about Candace?
God help the man, whoever broke into our
house and was going to harm Candace.
God help him.
I would never tell you what I would
do to that man.
You see, if someone comes and hits me,
I'll turn the other cheek.
If we're out preaching, I've got two cheeks.
You touch her, you will see a monster
that you never imagined.
You know what?
A man that wouldn't defend his wife, someone
breaks in that.
At times I thought, I thought, God help
me.
I hope this never, ever happens because if
I have to protect her, nobody's going to
touch her.
I'll die for her.
I love her.
And you know what?
A man that wouldn't do that, there's something
wrong with you.
See the man that would run upstairs and
say, you go answer the door.
There's something wrong with you.
I mean, really.
But it's dark outside.
I'm scared.
You coward.
You know?
It's not a basis of divorce, wife, so
I want to tell you.
I hope I haven't stood on any toes
on that one.
But listen, the wife, what is the wife
called?
What is the wife called?
A helpmate.
I'm not a helpmate.
I'm prominent.
I need to be something.
I need to be worth something.
So check out helpmate.
The Bible says in Genesis 2, 2, 18,
it calls the wife, it called Eve, a
helpmate.
Listen to what it says.
And the Lord God said, it is not
good that man should be alone.
I will make him a helpmate for him.
What does helpmate mean?
Help.
It's two words, helpmate.
Let's look at this for a second.
You know what?
I'm going to make this two messages.
It's just important that we hear this.
Helpmate.
To be a help, listen to what it
means.
To be an aid, to assist.
This is God's calling, a woman.
There is a head.
Husbands, let me just say, not I'm slowing
down, but I can just go back into
this.
Husbands, let me say this.
See to be the head of the home.
How does Ephesians 5 depict and show the
husband?
You're to love the wife as Christ loved
the church.
Do you know what headship looks like?
I am to love, sacrificial love.
Like Christ had on the cross, he died
for the bride, for you and I.
You want to know what headship being a
leader looks like?
I am going to bear the punishment.
I'm going to stand in the gap for
you.
I will suffer.
I will lay down my life.
This is love.
You want to know what love looks like?
It is sacrificial.
I'll give my all, my ultimate, my everything
for you.
That is real love.
And you know what?
I tell you, if you find a woman
and you really love her with agape love,
with Calvary love, I promise you she will
desire to submit to you.
Never ask your wife to submit to you.
Never try to tell her, I'm the head,
you ought to submit to me.
You've lost the battle already.
See, when you get to that point, you've
lost it.
Husbands, you ought to so love your wife
that she actually goes, she'll be so embarrassed
not to submit, says, I'm going to follow
this man.
I desire to follow this man.
I want to follow this man because I
see embodied in him a headship.
I'll gladly give him the head position, the
authority.
You know why?
Because he sacrifices, he lays down his life.
He understands me.
He knows me.
He serves me.
You're going to find a wife who wants
to help.
The word help in means to aid, to
assist, to protect.
This is God's word to a wife, all
you wives, to protect your husband, to help
him, succor him, support him, give him encouragement,
to lend your strength to him or to
help him fulfill the purpose of God.
It actually is a military term and it
refers to military assistance.
He's on the front line.
He's in the battle.
So you bring all of your power, all
of your force in behind them.
It is reinforcements in the battle.
I'm going to help them in this warfare.
You know who's fighting against your marriage?
The devil is against us.
The devil hates your marriage.
The devil hates every marriage, even the marriage
of sinners.
He hates the covenant of this church bound
together in Christ.
He utterly hates it.
You know, you wives, you're to embody what
the church is to be.
Husbands, you're to embody what Christ is to
be to the church.
Can you imagine him being a tyrant, demanding,
obliging us?
Can you imagine that?
And no love, no forgiveness, no grace, no
mercy.
Could you imagine a God like that?
And you ladies, you're to embody what a
wife is to be.
You're actually to typify in your own walk.
We ought to see the character of what
this church ought to be.
I ought to look at the wives in
this room and say, that's what I want
in the body of Christ.
That's what I want in the church.
That meekness, that kindness, that submission, it ought
to convict me.
You know, every time, I never once asked
Candace to submit.
Never once.
I couldn't have.
I never told her how to dress.
I never told her how to conduct herself.
Never told her how to speak.
But I did know, I want to be
Christ to her.
I want to live in such a way.
See in the storm, I want to be
an anchor to her, as the Bible says.
I want to help her.
But these wives, they're coming in in a
military battle.
You come to help your husband in the
trial, in trouble, or to perform God's will.
Help meet.
What does meet mean?
Meet means to be similar, to be fit,
to be suitable.
Do you know that's why a husband and
wife, they'll have different strengths.
Candace was far more intelligent than me.
I stole a lot from her.
Hmm, that's good.
I need a, I really need to bring
that to the table.
Her wisdom, I drew on it tremendously.
The husband's to make the decision, the final
decision, the direction.
But you know what, half the time, she
had the wisdom to know what to do.
And I went, hmm, you're absolutely right.
I wasn't thinking that.
That's why even now, the guys in this
church, they know.
Sue and Paul, all through the years, I'd
have a decision.
They're young believers.
This is a new church.
I'd say, what do you think?
These guys would say later, we thought you're
humoring us to ask us, what do you
think?
I mean, you're the one that's preached all
these years.
You understand how the church functions.
And you're saying, what do you think?
It doesn't seem real, does it?
You know what, from this heart, it was
real.
I care.
I want to know.
I want to understand.
I want to know you as a church.
If you ever thought, I care about that.
I'll make the decision.
I'll check.
Is it biblical?
Is it right?
You could have some wisdom that I don't.
I want to know it.
That's a church.
You know, with my wife, I go, I
want to know.
Maybe she sees something I don't.
Maybe she sees something in someone, a danger.
A few times in ministry, she was in
prayer.
She would come to me.
We're driving in the car.
Keith, I believe an attack is just about
to come.
And this is going to happen.
And there's going to come an attack against
you preaching the word, not in this church,
elsewhere.
And I'd be in the car saying, no,
no, no.
She says, look, I'm telling you, something's going
to come from these folk.
And I go, no, no, I can't see
that.
And I mean, after all, I'm preaching the
word.
And then that week, days later, this attack
comes from certain folk.
I mean, despicable.
I go, she had wisdom.
She's praying.
She's caring.
I want to know that wisdom.
You see, the husband and wife are to
be two halves of the same coin.
They are different, distinct, with different abilities and
giftings and personalities.
But do you know what?
There's to be a suitability.
Do you know what a helpmate is?
You are suitable to your husband.
You don't need to be like him.
Oh, she's got to be a duplicate of
me.
No way.
I'd hate to have a duplicate.
You know what?
I want someone who has attributes I do
not have.
A personality I may not have.
Corresponding to, having the same nature.
Husband and wife, you're to be equal.
You are equal in grace.
You are equal as persons.
One of you isn't more important than the
other.
You're not, don't be deceived.
But before God, you are equal, but your
roles are different.
A man, a woman's different.
I tell some young couples get married.
I say, guess what?
A man and a woman are not the
same.
Oh, and they laugh at that.
And I go, no, you don't understand.
I mean, guys, women are different than us.
I really mean that.
I mean, they think they function.
God has actually made them different.
Do you know biologically you're made different?
And not the way you think.
Biologically.
Do you know your blood, how it functions
in the body?
Men and women, their blood functions differently.
Do you know that?
Do you know women are more resilient from
bugs in the children than men are?
Do you know that?
Do you know God has designed that if
a man has a heavy injury, he's more
prone to clot.
In other words, a man is designed to
take a heavy injury that a woman isn't.
Why do you think that is?
Why do you think biologically?
Why do you think chemically we're made different?
Why do you think mentally we're made different?
They're not the same.
You know all this mess at the minute
where they're doing operations.
They're giving drugs to little children who are
still at school to change their biological makeup.
They're operating on the body.
They're distorting the body.
And you can't make a man a woman
or a woman a man.
There's all the videos out now of people
saying they operated on me.
They gave me drugs for years.
And now I regret it.
They ought to be taken to court.
This is criminal.
This is destructive.
God makes a man as a man, a
woman as a woman.
Can't you be tempted?
Of course you can.
But do you know what God designed is
that man is the head in the home.
And Satan hates headship.
He hates it.
You know what else he hates?
He hates the help mate.
He hates for a woman to say I
am a help mate because that sounds so
subjugated.
Oh no it's not.
I can't tell you how much I respected
Candice.
I admired her.
I can't tell you how much I loved
her.
Admiration comes with time.
Respect comes with time.
Love is there at the beginning.
Love is not earned.
Trust is earned.
Love isn't.
And you know what a help mate is
someone brought alongside.
A face to face relationship.
A fitting companion and partner.
The woman is provided for a man's good.
Not good for a man to be alone.
Just go look at a single man's place
where he's living.
Guys, single guys, I'm not saying that of
all of you.
Elijah and Isaac are staying with me.
They're the exceptions to the rule.
Every other man apart from these two guys.
Okay.
They'll be tidy in the room when we
go home now.
Do you know what you have with all
of this is the work of God.
I'm going to stop here.
Saints of God we're going to carry on
with this of enemies of the marriage covenant.
But I want to see you to say
unforgiveness.
Satan moves in on this.
He'll gain advantage.
Selfishness.
The devil will move in on it.
Neglect of your obligations of biblical order.
Satan moves in on this.
We could preach an entire sermon on those
three things.
They're absolutely vital.
But what I want you to understand and
these are the things Satan uses as weapons.
His methods.
His strategies.
His plans to destroy.
To undermine the marriage covenant.
He hates your marriage.
See this morning.
He hates it.
See Ethan and Shona.
I'm standing looking at them yesterday.
Joined together.
Loving each other.
The words that are said.
It's going to be tested.
Hell is going to throw things at that
marriage.
You know why?
To have those testimonies.
Those desires.
Those prayers.
It's a very dangerous marriage.
It's another marriage being added to this church.
Two people are going to sit here and
they can be unified.
He'll strengthen this church.
Love.
Grace.
Mercy.
Forgiveness.
Kindness.
But church.
Us as a church.
That within this covenant we've been brought into
together.
Blood washed.
Forgiven.
Shown grace in Christ.
Do you know you as a church.
Individual members of this body.
You get to show what you were given.
Here in this church you can forgive one
another.
And love one another.
And be kind to one another.
And serve one another.
You need an environment to do that.
And this church gives you that.
And do you know what hell thinks about
that?
I hate the unity of this church.
I hate the love.
You know why?
It's sincere.
It's not hypocritical here.
I hope you understand this.
Our love in this church.
It is sincere.
It is real.
It's not perfect.
But it is honest.
It is open.
It is genuine.
And that's a danger to hell.
You know why?
We as a church.
While we have that love.
And we forgive each other.
And we care about each other.
You are a dangerous church.
There's nothing to do with numbers.
Or bank accounts.
Or reputation.
Nothing to do with that.
That love is dangerous.
And the devil say I'll attack it.
I'll attack that.
Because you know what?
When you're unified as a church.
If one can put a thousand to flight.
And two can put ten thousand to flight.
What can a whole church.
Unified in love.
Having received grace and love and forgiveness and
mercy and kindness.
Who say I want to give this on.
I didn't deserve this from God.
And you know what?
I want to give this to my brothers
and sisters.
And we want that.
That when the broken hearted come in here.
They go I feel the love of Christ.
I see the love of Christ.
In a church meeting here.
A sinner once visited.
And they said you're lovely people.
I had such a warm greeting this morning.
Do you know what I said to them?
I said do not judge by that.
You could be deceived.
By us smiling.
Oh welcome this morning.
So good to see you.
It's good to do that.
But that's not the test.
I said do you know what you do?
Just sit down quietly in this church.
And watch us function as a church.
It's not us greeting you with a smile
at the door.
Isn't that a nice church?
Oh no.
Stick around.
And begin to watch how we interact together.
What did Jesus say?
You will know them.
You will know my disciples.
How?
By their love one to another.
So hold on.
You're a visitor.
Just stay put.
Stay in your seat and watch carefully.
Because it has to manifest after a bit.
You can't keep this up.
Not with you bunch anyway with your background.
Impossible.
There's going to be lots arise.
Just stick around.
And if you see real love that's not
us.
You're going to know we're real disciples.
Real Christians.
Because this love comes from God.
And it's sincere.
And it's deep.
And it's beyond us.
And it's real.
And hell will not break it.
Let's pray together.
Will you stand with me?
Lord God we do thank you this morning
for your love and your grace and your
mercy.
Lord God for your hand upon us.
Just given us this wonderful weekend.
Lord God with with all that has been
going on and happening with these marriages.
We love you.
Lord God we pray for a move of
God in this church.
Oh God we pray for every marriage.
Every new marriage.
Oh God we pray for those older marriages.
Lord God we know the trials.
We know the battles.
Oh God the unforgiveness that can come to
heart.
The words that can be spoken that are
very hurting.
That even are bitter or can create bitterness.
Lord God we're not ignorant of all of
these things.
And we're not ignorant of Satan's strategies.
He'll move in on unforgiveness.
He'll move in Lord God when we're selfish
and self-centered.
He'll move in when we're not fulfilling the
order of God and walking in the light
of scripture.
Serving in the right place in the body
of Christ.
And so Lord God we ask you for
your mercy this morning.
Will you minister and even as a church
strengthen us as a church.
My God strengthen us against the attacks of
hell.
Lord God we realize that we do have
something special.
But it's not us.
It's your love.
It's your grace.
It's your kindness.
It's your mercy.
Lord God it's your divine nature in the
midst.
And we're asking that you set a guard
around us.
Because we know how vulnerable we are.
We don't want to be proud.
We don't want to be arrogant.
We don't want to be high looking or
think it's by our own grace.
But Lord God we acknowledge it's all of
you this morning.
In Jesus mighty name.