Word about Keith's music ministry quickly spread through
our friends in the Christian music world.
By the end of 1975, Keith was being
asked to do concerts in some of the
churches in Southern California.
It was a whole new world.
Playing in churches posed some new challenges and
interesting transitions for us.
Our first big question was about money.
How much do you ask from a church
that invites you to do a concert?
In the secular world, everyone struggles to make
more money, and the amount you receive is
a yardstick for worth and popularity.
Even though Keith was never in it just
for the money, it was his trade and
it paid our bills, and we had big
household expenses.
But what were the biblical principles about charging
for concerts?
Where were they found in the Bible?
Other Christian musicians were all over the map
when it came to this matter.
Some sold tickets, some asked for a certain
amount up front, still others went for love
offerings.
Now that we were Christians, we instinctively knew
the money rules had changed in some way.
Keith's music was no longer a career.
He considered himself a minister, and we wanted
to see people come to the Lord.
As a minister, should Keith even care about
how much he made?
Our real concern about finances was centered in
the fact that our home was beginning to
look like a halfway house.
Everywhere we turned, we met desperate and hurting
people who needed help.
Could we keep bringing them home with us
if we didn't have enough money to take
care of them?
Even with these questions, our excitement about Jesus
continued to grow and touch every area of
our lives, especially our music.
There were a few songs that Keith wrote
right away to express his own pure joy
at finally finding the truth that set him
free.
Now Keith was shining a light that drew
people to the Lord.
He wrote, Because of you, to tell God
whenever anyone asked why he looked so happy,
he had the honor of pointing the way
to the source of that light.
Another song Keith wrote talked about God's supernatural
touch in his life.
You put this love in my heart, express
Keith's gratitude for that miraculous touch.
Probably the greatest boost to our growth as
songwriters was meeting other Christian musicians.
Keith's first Christian recording session was playing piano
on the Growing Pains album by Jamie Owens.
Through Jamie, Keith met Terry Talbot.
Keith and Terry hit it off immediately.
Terry and his brother John had been in
a famous rock band called Mason Prophet, and
Terry was working on a musical called Firewind.
He asked Keith to sing the lead vocal
on a song called Walk and Talk, which
was to be a duet with Barry McGuire.
Barry had made such an impression on us
a few years ago, and now Keith was
going to sing his first recorded Christian song
with him.
Keith was excited about this recording session because
he was going to get to meet so
many other Christian artists.
Before Annie Herring from the second chapter of
Acts came to the session, Jamie Owens had
told her, wait till you meet Keith.
He's so filled with energy, and his heart
is full of the Lord.
You're going to love him.
I actually heard Keith before I met Keith.
I was walking into the studio, and I
heard this man singing away going, all right,
this is where I want you to punch.
I'll write in between this line and then
into this line.
He starts singing away with all of his
heart.
Where I want to go, Lord, is with
you.
Punch.
Right with you, Lord.
God, punch.
And he was really emphatic about where he
wanted the engineer to punch.
And I thought, gosh, I love the energy
in his voice, and I could hardly wait
to turn around the corner to see what
he looked like.
And as I turned the corner, I saw
this curly-headed guy just singing away with
all of his heart, and you could tell
just by looking at him that he was
just sold out to the Lord.
A week later, Keith met Annie's husband, Buck
Herring, who was a producer for second chapter.
Buck and Annie had only been married a
few years when her dad died, and Annie's
younger brother and sister, Matt and Nellie, came
to live with them.
A short time later, they discovered they could
sing together.
The first time I met second chapter, I
was so new to Christian music that I'd
never even heard of them.
Keith took me to their house in Northridge.
When we walked in, Buck was listening to
one of their albums.
I was blown away.
I walked into the kitchen, and Annie was
standing at the sink with an apron on,
doing dishes.
I was in awe of this beautiful woman
with the elegant high cheekbones and dark dancing
eyes, this woman of God who sang like
an angel and did dishes like a normal
person.
And I was standing in her kitchen.
I wasn't sure how to act.
Meanwhile, Keith and Buck were off in the
corner talking about music, producing, and making albums.
Well, right away, Keith came over to me
because he knew that I was involved in
recording music and making music, and that was
very much on his mind at that time.
He wanted to do an album.
He had music in his heart and in
his mind.
He wanted to do an album, but he
didn't want to do an album just for
Christians.
He said, I want to do music.
He said, I want to go out and
really evangelize people, to draw them to Jesus.
And I told him that God gave us
music for other reasons than just for evangelism.
Music was used for many purposes in God's
kingdom, not just evangelism.
And of course, I had some relationships with
secular record companies doing Christian music for a
secular record company, and I found that it
just didn't work.
So I tried to share that with him,
but he was still pondering what he was
supposed to do.
And I told him, well, you just seek
God and he'll let you know.
Later that evening, as we drove home, Keith
was in deep thought.
I could tell his conversation with Buck didn't
convince him.
Keith wanted to reach people outside the church.
I knew he wouldn't rest until the question
was settled.
Our musical family kept growing as we met
people like Chuck Gerard, Phil Keggy, Mike and
Kathy Dacey, Kelly Willard, Karen Lafferty, and Andre
Crouch.
We were impressed that they'd given their talent
to sing only for the Lord, yet we
were still torn over what path Keith's musical
ministry might take.
It seemed like the Lord was starting to
tie some loose ends together, and we were
hoping the next thing God would tie together
would be Keith's music.
The dream of making it musically was not
dead.
It just had a different slant to it
now.
Keith continued to make demos of his songs
and run them all over town, still trying
to get a record deal with a secular
label.
And then it seemed like our dream was
going to take off.
One afternoon, Keith raced in.
Mel, Arista Records, wants to send me to
New York next week.
They want me to meet with Clive Davis,
straight to the top.
They're paying my way out and everything.
This might be it.
Maybe God is going to open some doors
after all.
Once Keith arrived in New York, he settled
into his hotel room, anticipating his big meeting
with Arista the next day.
Keith later wrote in his journal, Clive Davis
kept me waiting for almost two hours.
It was a failure, but I took it
so well I couldn't believe it.
I kept telling myself that the Lord wanted
me to do a Christian album.
It depressed me, but I kept my chin
up.
The following afternoon, my phone rang.
Keith was calling from New York.
How'd it go, I asked.
My interview was a flop, he said.
I was really upset at first, but I'm
kind of starting to feel relieved now.
At least I finally have a clear answer
from the Lord.
Hey, do you want me to bring a
New York pizza home for you?
The dream was dead.
The one that had been in Keith's heart
since he was a child.
Some dreams are so deep, they seem to
become a part of the very fabric of
your being.
When they die, a part of you dies
too.
After the initial depression lifted, Keith was actually
excited.
His prayers had finally been answered.
Now Keith knew why things had never fully
come together with his secular music.
He saw more clearly how his life plans
needed to be anchored in the reality of
God's will.
Otherwise, they would never be anything but fantasy.
A song Keith had written just a few
months earlier with Randy and Todd now had
an even deeper meaning.
Like a foolish dreamer trying to build a
highway to the sky.
All my hopes would come tumbling down and
I never knew just why.
Until today, when you pulled away the clouds
that hung like curtains on my eyes, well
I've been blind for years and I thought
I was so wise, but then you took
me by surprise.
Like waking up from the longest dream, how
rare it seemed.
I've been lost in a fantasy.
Keith was sure at last that the Lord
wanted him to sing his music to Christians,
even make a Christian album.
Now he was wondering what God might want
him to say.
A lot of people were going to church
and to Christian concerts, but not many of
them seemed excited about Jesus.
And Keith's heart was heavy whenever he thought
about that.
You know, God loves radical faith.
He loves radical faith.
He doesn't have too much fondness over lukewarm
faith.
There's a little scripture in the Bible about
if you're lukewarm, you'll get spit out of
Jesus' mouth.
I explain theologically, I don't particularly know what
the consequences of being spit out of Jesus'
mouth is, except it does not sound appetizing
and I don't want to be having it
done to me.
So I'm going to make sure I'm on
fire for the Lord, come heaven or high
water.
By the spring of 1976, Keith was ready
to go out on the road doing church
concerts up and down the West Coast.
He had a lot of different kinds of
songs, serious, funny, inspiring, but the question of
what to charge for a concert was becoming
a pressing issue.
We tried several approaches.
Sometimes a church wanted to take a love
offering for Keith.
Others wanted him to tell them how much
he'd charged to come.
In these instances, Keith set a small fee
for going.
At least then he knew what he'd be
getting and wouldn't have to worry about scanty
offerings.
On the other hand, an offering gave the
Lord a chance to bless you, whereas a
set fee didn't.
Besides that, Keith was trying to figure out
where the boundaries were.
Did you not go to minister somewhere because
they couldn't pay you enough?
And how much was enough?
In some ways, the Christian music ministry was
looking more and more like the secular business
we had just stepped out of.
Record companies, contracts, concert tours.
We were even beginning to see a sort
of pecking order of artist popularity.
And when you were invited somewhere, what should
you expect to receive in return?
Some churches were obviously wealthy.
Others were poor.
How do you deal with the differences?
Keith said, I can't imagine Paul telling the
Corinthian church, sorry guys, I can't come unless
you promise me 5,000 shekels and two
first-class chariot fares.
Nevertheless, the money issue was not going to
immobilize Keith from delivering the things in his
heart.
The message seemed too urgent.
Early in 1977, Keith was offered a record
deal by Billy Ray Hearn of Sparrow Records.
Keith was playing at the Vineyard's new rented
church building.
Billy Ray slipped in unannounced.
I made it a point not to call
ahead and say I was coming because I
wanted Keith to play without him knowing really
whether I was there or not.
By the time I got there, the place
was jammed with people and I remember I
had to crawl over them just to find
a place on the floor in the aisle.
But there was so much talk about Keith,
I wanted to see what it was all
about.
And I wanted to see what was drawing
so many people.
He was electrifying.
The old upright piano sounded like an orchestra.
The ministry was so powerful.
After what I heard and saw, I knew
Keith was going to be something very special.
It was a wonderful night of music and
ministry.
Billy Ray was more than mildly interested and
that kicked off a long process of conversations
and negotiations with Keith and his father over
the proposed contract.
Earlier, Keith had asked Buck Herring to produce
him, but Buck figured that he and Keith
were both too intense to try working together.
Instead, a young man named Bill Maxwell was
suggested.
Keith played all his demos for Bill and
then played some songs on the piano for
him.
Bill's response was direct.
The first thing I noticed when Keith played
me songs on the piano was that he
sounded a lot better on piano than he
did on his demos.
He sounded better just sitting in a room
with a piano than he had in a
recording studio working on something.
Keith said to me, yeah, I know I
don't think I sound as good as I
should on the demos, but I don't know
what's missing.
So I went to see him a couple
of times in concert and it was really
powerful.
It was tremendous the effect he had on
kids and how good he sounded.
So we built a little booth around the
piano and baffled off the piano, put a
mic on him and we went in and
recorded the first album with essentially all the
vocals live while he was playing.
If he messed something up, we would punch
in the vocal and the piano at the
same time because they were both leaking together.
And that's that's the way we did keep
all the time.
Together, Bill and Keith were capturing Keith's raw
energy, emotions and spiritual heart cry.
When you listened, you had an uncanny sense
that you were hearing from someone other than
just Keith Green.
By the summer of 1977, Keith's debut album,
For Him Who Has Ears to Hear, was
in the bookstores.
We had a big mailing party at our
house to send out the albums to the
six thousand people who had pre-ordered it
at concerts over the past several months.
Rather than throw away the names of so
many people, Keith said, let's keep in touch
with all these people and put together a
little newsletter to encourage them in their walk
with the Lord.
And the last day's newsletter was born.
Just before Keith's album was released, he started
working with Steve Gryson, who was engaged to
Nellie Ward of Second Chapter Vax.
As usual, Keith had big ideas.
I want to tour the whole country this
summer, Keith directed Steve.
He set up a 52 city tour and
off we went.
And what a tour.
Keith's album had just been released, so he
was still unknown.
He ended up singing to a lot of
built-in audiences at coffee houses, youth group
meetings, and regular church services.
Some nights the promised housing didn't happen, and
we had to rent our own rooms.
And it seemed adequate sound systems and tuned
pianos were rare commodities.
Overall, the audiences were sparse, and some nights
we'd make little or nothing.
We'd learned at the vineyard that every trial
was an opportunity to grow, and we certainly
grew on that nine-week tour.
We were growing at home too.
Now there were over a dozen new Christians
living with us.
So as money came in from Keith's concerts,
studio sessions, and album sales, it was poured
back into helping the people who had come
to live with us.
And we still kept meeting people who needed
a place to stay so they could escape
a bad situation and get grounded in their
new faith in Jesus.
These were powerful yet innocent times.
We just did what was in our hearts
to do.
Keith closed the year by playing at the
Daisy.
He was only about 12 feet away from
me, so I could see him clearly.
The spotlight was bright white.
His eyes were aching, as he sang, overflowing
with unspoken feelings as he poured out his
soul.
But he wasn't looking at the audience.
He was looking up into the light as
though he were looking directly at God.
He seemed transfixed in time.
His eyes were the bluest of blue, sparkling,
yet crying out.
He looked like a little boy, but his
eyes, his eyes were haunting as he looked
up into the light.
As I sat and watched, I was captured
by that moment and thought, Keith Green, you're
not long for this earth.
In the spring of 1978, while Keith's Ears
to Hear album had skyrocketed to number one
on the charts, we were in and out
of the studio recording Keith's second album.
Our only problem was we didn't have a
title.
Then one day when Keith was looking through
all the song lyrics, he glanced at me
with excitement.
Hey Mel, what about these words in your
song?
He quoted, make my life a prayer to
you.
I want to do what you want me
to.
No empty words and no white lies.
No token prayers, no compromise.
No token prayers, no compromise, he repeated.
Let's just call the album No Compromise.
It seemed to capture the heart of what
Keith wanted to say to other Christians.
Quit compromising.
Stop listening to the voice of the world.
Start living committed lives.
Keith was so convinced of the urgency of
this message that as with the first album,
people were rallied to pray.
We had rented a second house and filled
it with new believers.
So during each session, day or night, there
were people from our growing community in the
studio with their heads constantly bowed in prayer.
As always, I was right at Keith's side.
It was one big happy family.
And speaking of family, I was very pregnant
with our first child.
That summer, Keith was invited to sing at
the Jesus Northwest Festival in Oregon.
An estimated 35,000 people were there.
The campsites were overflowing and Keith and I
thought it looked like a mini Woodstock.
On the last evening of the event, several
of us gathered to pray before Keith went
on stage.
Our friend Winky Prattney was there with his
wife, Faye, because Winky had been a main
speaker.
Winky was like an older brother to Keith
and their spirits seemed to mesh.
Just now, they were both troubled.
The place was packed, but some were saying
that there had been no real move of
God, that it was just a big party.
Keith and Winky felt strongly that if nothing
happened, it would be a waste of a
festival.
When Keith walked into the spotlight, the crowd
burst into a roar of applause and cheers.
Keith sat at the piano, adjusted the microphone,
and waited for things to settle down a
bit.
Turning to the crowd, he started talking.
Have you ever felt the Lord was sad?
Tonight I was praying and I kind of
felt the Lord inside me, weeping.
So I started to cry.
The crowd was restless.
They were waiting for Keith to sing, but
the song he opened with was anything but
lighthearted.
As soon as he finished, he started talking
again.
The Old Testament says, these people draw near
with their words and honor me with their
lips, but they remove their hearts far from
me.
I don't want you to go away from
here under condemnation, but I want you to
get broken before God.
The crowd was quiet now.
Keith continued, this scripture is from Amos.
Thus saith the Lord, I hate, I reject
your festivals, nor do I delight in your
solemn assemblies.
Even though you offer up to me burnt
offerings, I will not accept them.
Take away from me the noise of your
songs.
The crowd sat in stunned silence.
Keith continued, as for me, I repent of
ever having made a record or sung a
song unless it's provoked people to follow Jesus.
It doesn't cost you much to follow Jesus,
just everything.
He sang a few more songs which underscored
his hard-hitting message, then turned back to
the crowd.
The rich young ruler would be accepted in
any church today, but Jesus would not accept
him because he had an idol in his
life.
Do you know who the Christian idols are?
I happen to be one of them.
You can even idolize your pastor.
This was tough stuff.
Keith continued, I challenge everybody who calls himself
a Christian to live as Jesus did, or
else sometime somebody might say, I never knew
you.
Weeping and loud crying was breaking out all
across the field.
I could hear people sobbing and choking prayers
out to God.
Keith called Winky, Fay, and me up onto
the stage, and we all led worship with
Keith for about half an hour, and that's
the way the festival ended.
As we were driving back to our hotel,
we saw people still out in the fields
praying.
Shortly after we returned home from Jesus Northwest,
Keith decided to take a sabbatical from touring,
to get into the word of God more,
and as Keith put it, figure some things
out.
It was nice to have Keith at home
as my September due date approached.
We were both excited about raising our child
in a busy ministry.
When our son was born, we named him
Josiah David, after two great kings.
Meanwhile, our other family was growing too.
By now we had incorporated, and we were
calling ourselves Last Days Ministries.
Although we were experimenting with community living, Keith
and I were underwriting almost 100% of
the expenses with our own money, but God
was blessing us financially, and we wanted to
bless him by pouring it back into the
ministry.
More and more people were pouring in.
We bought the house next door to us
and rented several others.
Within a short space of time, we went
from 25 people in three houses to 70
people in seven houses.
Early in October 1978, Richard, a dear friend
of ours who had taught us so much
about Jesus, was on his way home from
a conference late at night, sleeping in the
passenger side of his friend's car.
A truck coming in the opposite direction slammed
into them head-on.
The doctor said Richard never knew what hit
him.
When my time comes, that's the way I
want to go, Keith said with a snap
of his fingers.
Earth to heaven in an instant.
I tucked the blanket around Josiah as we
headed out the door for Richard's memorial service.
There would come a day when Keith's words
would come back to me.
God's Holy Spirit is here to heal, and
you'll know if you're healed, don't worry.
You'll find out.
And he's here to heal.
He's here to take that frightening thing inside
your mind that's been bothering you, that fear
that Satan's been preying upon.
Because Satan always attacks us when we're weakest,
and our fear is a very weak point.
Now he's here to heal your fears.
Anybody who wants their fears healed, just lift
your hands up and receive it.
Anybody who wants memories from their past healed,
lift your hands up, receive it.
Anybody who wants their families healed, their relatives
saved and coming into the kingdom, lift your
hands up and receive the promise of the
Holy Spirit.
Early one morning in February of 1979, our
community was buzzing with curiosity.
It seemed like all 70 of us were
there, crammed into the living room, anxiously waiting
to find out what was going on.
When Keith walked into the room and everyone
saw his face, they knew something had happened
to him.
You know, I've been struggling with a lot
of questions about my ministry and the Lord's
will for my life, he began.
I was up all night, and God showed
me so much sin in my life that
I couldn't believe that I spent the whole
night weeping and crying out to him.
I told the Lord I wasn't leaving until
I had a breakthrough, no matter how long
it took.
Finally it happened.
I had a touch from the Lord like
I've never had in my whole life, and
I know I just got saved.
I just got saved last night.
Keith's words stunned everyone.
I wanted to ask him, what have you
been if you haven't been saved?
But Keith just kept talking.
Last night I was reading Charles Finney, and
I couldn't get past the chapter called Breaking
Up the Fallow Ground.
God convicted me of so much fallow ground
in my life, ground that's hard and crusty
and needs to be broken up for him.
He went on for several minutes, pouring his
heart out, confessing areas of sin and weakness,
and crying.
Then Keith read a scripture to us from
Hosea.
Break up your fallow ground, for it is
time to seek the Lord.
And picking up the Finney book, Keith read
the whole chapter out loud to us.
It was a real outline for a point
by point examination of our own hearts.
I believe God wants to do something powerful
in all of our lives.
I believe we need to have a breakthrough
with God, Keith said.
I feel like we all need to pray
right now.
Keith began praying a very powerful prayer.
The hush fell over the whole room.
Suddenly one of the women burst into tears.
Her whole body was heaving with deep, uncontrollable
sobs.
A few others started to weep, and the
next thing we knew we were all on
our faces, crying and calling out to God.
Some of us could do little more than
moan.
It was a gut-wrenching time of conviction
and soul-searching.
After a long time, Keith asked everyone to
go and spend some time alone with God.
We gathered together later that evening, and again
over the next few days, day and night.
We had hours of prayer, weeping, and humble
open confession.
There was such an awesome sense of God's
presence in the room.
Sometimes it was overwhelming.
Meanwhile, word was getting out locally, and some
people from the vineyard showed up at our
ongoing meetings.
Even some neighbors came by, all with the
same results, deep conviction of sin and a
fresh touch from the Lord.
After several days, when the intensity of it
all subsided, it seemed that the Lord had
drawn near to our community in an incredible
way.
Later on, we would refer to that time
as the revival.
Charles Finney defined revival as a new beginning
of obedience to God.
It was a life-changing time for all
of us.
Keith knew that his statements about him just
getting saved came from his black and white
way of looking at things.
He had glimpsed a walk with God that
required such a deeper commitment.
For him, it was almost as if he
had never given his heart to the Lord
before.
He felt like he was getting born again,
again.
Keith believed the Lord wanted the spirit of
revival we'd just experienced to sweep the nation.
The next concert Keith had scheduled was at
the end of March in Tulsa at Oral
Roberts University, the best-known Christian university in
America.
During the revival, Keith had also found his
answer to our long-standing question about finances.
He said, Mel, we're just going to go
wherever God sends us and not worry about
money.
We're not going to worry about how much
of an offering or an honorarium we get,
or even if we get one at all.
In fact, I feel like God is telling
me that we need to pay our own
way into these cities and not ask for
anything from the churches.
The first person Keith phoned in Tulsa was
the ORU student body president who had invited
him.
Keith explained to him what he'd felt God's
new direction was, that we were to come
for a week for free.
So it was arranged for Keith to preach
in the ORU chapel for a week.
Keith sent an advance team to Tulsa to
meet with the local pastors so they could
get ready and start praying.
After they'd been in Tulsa for almost a
week, Keith received a call from the team
leader saying ORU didn't want Keith to come.
The student body president that had invited Keith
had neglected to go through the proper channels
with the administration.
Keith wasn't convinced that the decision reflected the
Lord's heart.
He was going to pursue getting it reversed,
but when he couldn't, he felt the Lord
told him to go to Tulsa anyway.
But Keith did have some misgivings.
He wondered if he'd really heard from God
about going.
He didn't want to be propelled by any
false desire of his own to bring a
fiery message to Tulsa.
In the end, Keith received what he felt
to be confirmation from the Lord and the
vineyard sent us out with their blessings.
We loaded up about 25 of our last
day's family and drove to Tulsa.
We immediately set up a 24-hour prayer
chain and a series of meetings with the
ORU administration who were shocked that Keith actually
came after being told not to.
In the meantime, some of the local pastors
were open to Keith.
On Sunday morning, Keith preached at a local
Baptist church.
That night, Keith was given the evening service
at Tulsa Christian Fellowship.
His message and songs centered on God's broken
heart over lukewarm Christianity.
He'd come with the burden to shake the
congregation into a confrontation with themselves and with
God, and I knew he was about to
pull out all the stops.
You don't like it, do you, he said.
You came to hear a concert, and now
you're getting cornered.
The Christian walk is a bunch of squirming
flesh getting nailed down to a cross.
We want a padded cross, but the gospel
is a no-compromise, absolute sellout for Jesus,
100% walk.
Keith was definitely pulling out the stops.
He was pacing the floor as he continued
to speak.
I hate to say this to you folks.
I really love you, but...
And then turning to the congregation, Keith pointed
and said in a booming voice, you brood
of vipers and snakes who call yourselves Christians
and half-heartedly serve him.
Instant shock ran through the whole place.
Even I couldn't believe my ears.
But suddenly, it didn't seem to matter.
Keith had gone back to the piano, and
as he began a song, he prayed.
Lord, you know the heart you've put in
me that hates sin and hypocrisy and compromising.
You know how much I love these people
and want to see them turn into blazing,
glowing Christians.
Oh God, please bring a revival, and let
it begin with me.
Without hesitation, people started rushing forward to the
altar rail, weeping and sobbing as they came
and fell on their faces.
The pastor joined Keith, and together they led
everyone in a powerful time of personal and
corporate repentance.
It seemed that revival was indeed going to
break out in Tulsa.
On Monday afternoon, Keith got the verdict from
ORU.
Not only was the administration going to let
us have the Mabee Center for free, they
were going to officially sponsor the evening concerts.
On top of that, they were going to
provide housing for us and let us eat
our meals in their cafeteria.
It was the miracle we had been praying
for.
Keith had come to Tulsa with the attitude
that he didn't want to take anything from
the people of this city.
He had a strong conviction that the gospel
was supposed to be free, whether it was
a gospel concert, a recording, or a tract.
Keith felt he couldn't deny anyone just because
they might not have money.
Keith had brought $8,000 worth of his
own albums to town, and they were not
for sale.
They were only to give away at the
concerts.
We were determined not to take any offerings,
and in addition, Keith and I had paraphrased
the Breaking Up the Fallow Ground chapter in
the Finney book and had it printed to
give to people at the concerts as an
outline for repentance.
Keith's basic theme the first two nights was
the same, getting Christians saved.
He talked about how not to grieve away
the Holy Spirit.
He centered on how often we ignore the
things God wants us to do.
He doesn't need any of us, Keith said,
but he wants to use all of us
to our fullest potential.
The greatest argument against Christianity is Christians.
The world is tired of hearing praise the
Lord.
They want to see it.
Keith fasted and prayed all day Saturday.
He knew he would talk about holiness that
night, and nearly 4,500 people gathered for
the concert.
Tonight it's time for us to stare our
sin in the eye with the light and
grace of God, Keith began.
We can't walk around with this spiritual whitewashed
hallelujah praise the Lord cover-up anymore.
Keith went on to compare sin to venereal
disease.
The first symptoms are subtle and almost painless.
It incubates in your system, but eventually drives
you mad, blind, and finally dead.
He encouraged everyone to quit playing deadly games
with God.
Keith asked those who felt they needed to
commit their life to Jesus to come forward.
He also called forward those whom God was
dealing with about sin.
He called out, come and repent of your
sexual sins, your homosexuality, your self-gratification, your
bitterness, cheating, lying, gossip, rebellion, pride, and your
vain attempts at being religious.
He pleaded with them.
People from every part of the arena were
streaming forward.
The stage area was filled, and people started
lying in the aisles and across the front
of the stage.
It looked like a bomb had gone off.
There were bodies everywhere, people on their knees
or on their faces, broken and weeping.
The response had been tremendous.
It looked like over 2,500 people had
come forward, but Keith's burden was for more.
He believed God wanted to bring revival, and
as Keith poured out his heart in a
tearful, pleading prayer, the night seemed to ignite
with an even stronger sense of God's presence.
Then he said, I feel there is someone
here that the Lord has told to share
with this body.
Come now and do it.
It seemed like an eternity before the first
person made his way slowly to the microphone
to say, God has shown me tonight that
I'm not really a Christian.
I've gone to church all my life, but
it's been a farce, no real commitment.
I had everyone fooled except God.
As this one shared, more people made their
way to the front, picking their way over
everyone on the floor.
For the next half hour or more, the
confession started getting more and more serious and
more personal.
The students were weeping harder as they shared,
perhaps because some of the things they shared
were grounds for expulsion.
Over and above this, though, it felt like
the Spirit of God had settled on us
in a thick cloud.
It was apparent that we were just coming
into the deeper levels of humility and breaking
we'd been praying for.
The Holy Spirit had been raining on us
all night, first in a gentle sprinkle and
then in a steady shower.
Now it felt like the floodgates of heaven
were about to burst open.
And then I saw one of the men
in pastoral responsibility at ORU threading his way
across the stage toward the young man who
was still sharing.
He came alongside of him and put his
arm around his shoulder, then gave some guidelines
for the rest of the meeting, saying, in
essence, we feel things like this are to
be confessed privately.
We don't think it's a good idea for
any of you to share personal sins openly.
It seemed like a good principle, and it
was given in a loving way.
But the change in atmosphere was so immediate
it was staggering.
Something had changed, but it wasn't clear what.
There was a tangible sense of a loss
of conviction, and no one else got up
to share.
It seemed the Holy Spirit had been quenched
in some way, and there was nothing that
could be done to whip it up or
bring it back.
I felt a sense of terrible loss, like
something great had almost happened.
Keith closed with the Easter song, went straight
to his dressing room, and fell to the
floor, sobbing.
There was a knock at the door.
The ORU administration wanted to talk, so Keith
and Winky met with him backstage.
The administration expressed their appreciation for what they
said were wonderful meetings, but they didn't think
they should go any further.
It was over.
Do you see?
Do you see all the people sinking down?
Don't you care?
Are you gonna let them drown?
How can you be so numb not to
care if they come?
You close your eyes and pretend the job's
done.
End of part three.
Our mood was a bit glum as we
left Tulsa and headed to east Texas.
We were in need of a little rest
and an encouraging word, so we decided to
visit Winky on our way back to California.
As we headed toward Lindale, 80 miles east
of Dallas, the interstate was bordered with vistas
of open green fields.
We were amazed that Texas was so lush.
Several ministries had chosen to put down roots
in this area.
Youth with a Mission, David Wilkerson and World
Challenge, Dallas Home and His Band Praise, the
Agape Forest, and Calvary Commission.
Leonard Ravenhill lived out here too, as well
as Barry McGuire.
We didn't know if God had some kind
of master plan for the area, but we
were interested in making the rounds.
We went to meet Leonard Ravenhill.
After reading his books and talking to him
on the phone, we couldn't wait to meet
him face to face.
When he invited us into his living room,
Keith stepped right up to him and gave
him a big bear hug.
We sat on the sofa and Keith began
to pour out his heart to me right
away.
He was very upset over the incident at
ORU, and I could tell it had been
brewing inside of him.
He was very agitated as he recounted the
details.
I told him that when he was at
ORU, he had bared his heart to them,
and that the ones that God was working
on in that meeting will never forget that
night.
That night when God spoke, and men began
to confess sin and to make repentance.
By now some shockwaves from Keith's time at
ORU had started to fan out across the
nation.
The Tulsa World newspaper ran a report on
the last night of Keith's ministry.
Christian magazines would run reports too, and some
were labeling Keith as a fiery young prophet.
But for now, all Keith wanted was to
put ORU behind him and enjoy the fellowship
of all the wonderful people we were meeting
in Lyndale.
On August 3, 1979, Keith wrote in his
journal, we're moving in about a month to
Texas.
While we were visiting, we'd seen some property,
and now God had confirmed his will.
But where would we get the money?
We knew if the Lord wanted us to
move, he would provide the money by the
time we needed it.
In the meantime, God began to lead many
in our community out and on to their
next steps with him.
But even as he pared down our ministry
family, he was adding to our family.
I had now discovered I was pregnant with
our second child.
While we were trying to raise money, we'd
also been fasting and praying for a miracle.
At a special prayer meeting, the Lord seemed
to speak to Keith out of the book
of Malachi.
Test me now in this, if I will
not open for you the windows of heaven.
Over the next few days, the Lord did
fulfill his promise to provide.
To our surprise, some of our good friends
became part of the answer to our prayers.
Buck and Annie, Matthew Ward, and Sparrow Records.
What generosity!
Sure enough, the Lord had supplied the full
amount.
Finally, it was goodbye to our house in
California.
All 25 of us arrived in Texas 1
,500 miles later and poured into the ranch
house on our new property.
Ranch living was light years away from suburban
living.
As city folks, we had a lot to
learn.
The neighbors didn't take kindly to people who
didn't tend their land, and mowing 140 acres
was no small chore.
We quickly acquired some ranch machinery.
The land was planted in hay, and Keith
loved to get out there and cut and
bale.
We were having a great time living in
the country, but we knew that God had
brought us here for greater purposes.
In early 1980, Keith was ready to record
his third album.
As the February due date for our second
child approached, so did the date Keith and
I were scheduled to go to Los Angeles
and work with Bill Maxwell.
As it turned out, our baby happily arrived
nine days early, while we were right in
the middle of making the album.
Bethany Grace was born on February 5, 1980.
My delivery was much easier than with Josiah.
I left the hospital within a few hours,
and that night Keith and I even went
out to dinner.
One night at the recording studio, I was
sitting in a beanbag chair cuddling Bethany Grace.
It was an average night until Bob Dylan
showed up to play harmonica on Keith's song,
I Pledge My Head to Heaven.
We'd met Bob through an elder at the
vineyard sometime after the revival.
Although he was one of the most well
-known musicians in the world, he was the
same as anyone who wanted to know more
about God.
Keith loved him deeply, and they talked a
lot.
Once, however, Keith felt he went too far
in trying to make a point.
Later in his journal, he wrote with regret,
tried to be the Holy Spirit to Bob
Dylan today.
Keith and Bob had kept in contact after
we moved to Texas.
When Keith asked him to play on this
album, we were thrilled when he said yes.
After about two months in California, the album
was finished, and we were all ready to
go back to Texas.
Earlier, the Lord had led Keith to start
a record label under the auspices of last
day's ministries for the purpose of giving away
his third album.
By May of 1980, the album, So You
Want to Go Back to Egypt, had been
mastered, and we were out on the road.
At the end of his concerts, Keith would
make his announcements specific.
Those that don't have anything can get an
album for nothing, and those that have a
little can get it for a little.
We believe the gospel's been getting a little
too commercial.
In an interview with Contemporary Christian Music Magazine,
Keith said, My whole reason for giving the
album away is that I love people.
Of course I don't want to see 50
,000 people send in nothing.
At the same time, I don't want people
to feel that I'm doing this to get
a donation or that they have to send
in a donation.
Keith started taking some non-traditional steps with
his concerts that summer too.
Concerts were usually sponsored by a local church,
and often before a concert, Keith would be
approached by someone in authority who would tell
him things like, We invited you to sing,
but we don't want you to preach, or
don't give an altar call, or don't talk
about healing.
Keith wanted to respect their wishes, yet he
found it difficult to limit what he sent
him to accomplish.
From then on, whenever it seemed right, we
paid our own way into different cities.
We'd rent an arena and take an offering
to cover our expenses.
There was still one thing that kept bothering
Keith about his ministry, his growing celebrity status.
For a long time, Keith just disappeared after
his concerts and didn't talk to anyone because
he was so upset by the hero worship
he saw in people's eyes.
He was so concerned about this issue that
he'd written an article called Music or Missions,
about churches full of starstruck Christians.
In fact, Keith felt he needed to focus
on the Christian music industry itself.
Keith knew they could well ask, What's the
difference between a Christian plumber charging for his
services and a singer or speaker charging for
theirs?
Didn't the Apostle Paul charge for his tents?
To which Keith would respond, There is a
difference between a man's vocation or skill and
his ministry gift.
If I was just an entertainer, I'd have
no problem charging for concerts, but ministry is
different.
In fact, Paul made tents for a living
so he wouldn't have to charge for the
gospel.
Keith was also grieved by all the Christian
merchandising going on.
Everyday items like clocks, coasters, and wallets were
selling for twice their usual price because someone
stamped a dove or a fish on them.
In a Christian bookstore, we came across a
handmade ceramic piggy bank with the words Jesus
Saved engraved on the side.
I was with Keith the day someone told
us that at one Jesus festival, they sold
over ninety-eight thousand dollars worth of Jesus
junk.
Jesus junk!
Keith nearly fell over from hearing those two
words casually linked together.
As Keith was gearing up to spend a
lot more time out on the road, he
was very interested when he found out that
the youth with the mission base nearby was
thinking about putting in an airstrip.
He said excitedly, Boy, an airstrip would save
a lot of time and hassle.
Maybe I can even get a pilot's license.
That idea wasn't well received by anyone, least
of all me.
While we were on the road, Keith brought
the subject up with the pastor who had
invited us.
The pastor said, Keith, do you know why
ministers have the highest rate of pilot's insurance?
Because they take the most risks.
They think they're indestructible.
They have the most accidents.
Keith just shrugged his shoulders.
Well, I don't know what everyone's so worried
about, he said.
I'm not going to take any risks.
Hey, do not put your eyes on us
Christian music people.
Please, don't put them on your pastors.
Don't put them on the teachers.
Put them on Jesus Christ and you'll never
go wrong.
The summer of 1981 brought the birth of
our third beautiful child, Rebecca Joy, born on
July 17th.
One month later, in October, Keith did a
family concert at Youth with a Mission's Twin
Oaks Ranch.
That night, he talked with a strange sense
of urgency.
I want to use my music to draw
the lost, he told the audience.
Life is short.
The Bible calls it a vapor.
I want to have a vision of heaven
in my mind and the stench of hell
in my nostrils as I go out to
preach the gospel.
There were huge changes going on inside this
dear, loving, intense man I'd been married to
for almost eight years.
Later on, as we were making selections for
Keith's fourth album, he felt God was telling
him to do an album of songs that
would inspire people to worship instead of another
hard message album.
Keith wanted to record one of my songs
called There is a Redeemer and I was
thrilled.
Keith loved the song but thought it might
be a little too short.
It began, There is a Redeemer, Jesus God's
own son, precious lamb of God, Messiah, oh
holy one.
Then the chorus offered a simple thanks to
the father for giving us his son.
Keith wanted to add another verse.
He could pull words out of the air
and in a few minutes he sang them
for me.
When I stand in glory I will see
his face and there I'll serve my king
forever in that holy place.
Thank you, oh my father, for giving us
your son and leaving your spirit to the
work.
When the album was finished, Keith had some
spring concerts planned.
This time we'd be flying to them in
a small leased plane from our own backyard.
The much talked about airstrip had become a
reality.
After the album and the spring crusades, we
were exhausted.
We'd never taken a regular vacation before, so
Keith wanted to bless me with a trip
to Europe.
The week before we were to leave, Keith
dropped in to see Lille in Paris at
Youth with a Mission or YWAM as it
was commonly called.
Don Stevens, the director for Europe, was with
him in his office.
Don set up an itinerary so that Keith
and I could see the YWAM bases in
Europe and maybe teach in one or two
of their schools.
It was in Amsterdam that we realized there
might be a different purpose for this trip.
Amsterdam is considered the drug capital of Europe
and there's open prostitution.
In fact, the YWAM base sits right on
the corner of a world famous red light
district.
It was hard to miss the YWAM base.
Across the top in lights were the words,
Jesus loves you in English and Dutch.
There was something about Amsterdam that gave you
the impression of two worlds existing side by
side.
Floyd McClung, the director of the center, took
Keith and me on a walking tour after
dark and I have to confess that even
in this modern European city lit by streetlights,
I felt very uncomfortable.
It was not the same city we had
seen by daylight.
As we headed south, Keith and I talked
for a long time.
We were moved by the who had dedicated
their lives to serve, but also overwhelmed by
seeing so many lost people with so few
to reach them.
It wasn't like America where there was a
vibrant church on every corner.
As we traveled through Germany, Austria, and Italy,
it was all the same.
We kept asking the same question.
How could there ever be a big enough
movement to meet all the needs we were
seeing?
But we were excited about the vision, commitment,
and sacrifice we saw in the Christians we'd
met.
They totally shattered our image of what a
missionary might be like.
They were incredible people.
Now we knew why Lauren Cunningham had given
almost 20 years of his life building Youth
with a Mission to lay a foundation to
reach the whole world.
By this time, about 230,000 people were
getting our last day's magazine and Keith was
planning ways to reach all of them and
those who came to his concerts as well.
I thought of the prostitute I'd seen down
a little side street in Amsterdam, one lost
person on her way towards eternal separation from
God, and the world was full of hurting
people like her.
After returning from Europe, Keith moved into action.
He planned large benefit concerts and a fall
concert tour to bring a missions challenge to
the Christians in America.
By June, when Keith walked up on stage,
he was filled with a new kind of
excitement.
He sat down at the piano and took
a moment to talk about our international God.
God is not an American or even a
Republican as some of us like to think.
He loves everyone the same and his heart
goes out to the masses, whether they are
known or forgotten.
He picked up his Bible.
There's a little command found in the Bible
that says to go into all the nations
and preach the gospel to every creature and
make disciples of men.
Keith was warming up now and had everyone's
attention.
Besides our recent trip, Keith was fueled by
statistics that were shocking.
While in America there were over one million
full-time workers or one for every 230
people, in the rest of the world there
were only 85,000 workers or one for
every 450,000 people.
Keith continued, the world isn't being won today
because we're not doing it.
It's our fault.
This generation of Christians is responsible for this
generation of souls on the earth.
Nowhere in the world is the gospel so
plentiful as in the United States.
Nowhere.
There's a rule in the armed forces, always
obey the last order you got until you
get new orders from command headquarters.
The last order I got in my Bible
was go.
Then Keith began to play a new song.
Even from the side of the stage I
could see his eyes fill with compassion as
he sang, Open Your Eyes.
Open your eyes to the world not around
you.
Open your eyes, open your eyes.
This world is much more than the things
that surround you.
You must arise and open your eyes.
Sometimes we're too busy to share.
But Jesus wants us to care, to care.
Open your arms to the naked and she
is brand new.
After the concert we had a late night
meal with John Dawson.
Besides being a leader in YWAM, John had
become a close friend.
I loved discussing things with Keith.
I was always amazed at the way Keith
grabbed a hold of something, something new and
he went for it, gave it all that
he had.
At that time Keith was learning and growing
so fast he was asking questions about everything.
I really sensed God was preparing him in
a big way and I told him to
get ready that God was going to use
him to challenge a multitude of young people
into missions.
But he tended to be really black and
white in the way he presented things.
I told him if he kept overstating the
point he'd end up disqualifying his message completely.
I knew his heart was bright but I
knew he couldn't go on saying that 99
% of Christians are called to leave America
and everybody else is in sin.
The thing about Keith is that he was
very teachable.
He was absolutistic, he was bullheaded but he
was desperately hungry for truth.
He really wanted to make an impact on
this generation.
He would argue with you.
In fact I think he enjoyed confrontation but
he wanted to learn and underneath that intensity
really was a humble guy, uncompromising with his
own weaknesses.
That night we had a long discussion about
presenting the truth in a wise way, in
a way that wouldn't put guilt on people
genuinely called to serve God here in America.
We had asked Lauren Cunningham and his wife
Darlene to join us at a beach house
we'd rented for a week in Oxnard.
The first evening we sat up talking for
a long time, sharing visions and dreams in
the Lord.
Keith and Lauren had ministered together a few
times and Keith thought they made a great
team.
Lauren let's go across the nation together and
get the word out about missions and challenge
the people to go.
That sounds wonderful, Lauren agreed, and let's have
a faith goal of seeing 100,000 people
raised up for world missions.
We all felt it was a special moment
and we knew we needed to pray together
and seal everything in the spirit.
Lauren prayed about the vision as Keith was
lying on the floor, face down before the
Lord.
By the time we were through praying, our
hearts were bonded together.
For Keith it was even deeper.
Lauren was so full of grace and Keith's
high intensity didn't rattle him.
Lauren loved and accepted Keith and Keith knew
it.
As they embraced to say goodbye, there were
tears in Keith's eyes.
You're like a father to me, Keith whispered.
It was an awareness in both of their
hearts, a rare and special relationship, a gift
from the Lord.
As we watched the Cunninghams drive off, we
had such a rush of excitement in our
hearts.
How could any of us have known it
wasn't meant to be?
This generation of believers that you and me
are a part of, we're responsible for this
generation of souls all over the world.
We're responsible for them.
We're responsible to pray daily for the needs
of ministries around the world and ask God,
how about me not sending my money this
time?
How about me going?
Things were really going well.
Keith's ministry was being widely received and Last
Days Ministries was booming.
We'd built a large office facility and print
shop and bought a six tower web press
to print our Last Days magazine and we
were just raising the beams on our new
half million dollar cafeteria and worship center with
bookstore, guest rooms and classrooms for the discipleship
training school we'd begun.
Even Keith's journal entries reflected the mood.
We have so much to be grateful for.
The only thing we need is a closer
walk with God.
We have everything else a Christian couple could
ever want and for this I'm eternally grateful
Jesus.
Then there was this other more vague feeling.
Keith was the one who voiced it.
I just don't know what it is.
Things are going too well.
I feel it's the calm before the storm,
like something bad's going to happen.
I was seeing a new kind of thoughtful
maturity coming into Keith's life.
In part, I could attribute it to some
of the relationships Keith had developed with people
like Winky, Leonard, John and Lauren.
Keith had gone through some of our tracks
and rewritten them a bit.
He said he wanted to take out some
of the rough edges and barbs, keeping what's
from Jesus and taking out what's from Keith.
Keith said he wanted to strengthen, encourage and
build up believers, not so much to shoot
at things that are wrong, but to build
up the areas that are right.
Grace, that was the operative word in Keith's
life these days.
He was also in the midst of writing
letters of apology and making phone calls to
different individuals whenever the Lord showed him there
was something he needed to make right.
On all fronts, Keith was feeling like he
might have been too absolute in some areas.
In an article for The Last Days magazine,
Keith wrote, so many people told me I
was a prophet over the years.
I believe they must be right.
It's not that I no longer believe I'm
called to do that.
It's just that now I see that every
believer is called to do that.
I'm not called to be a prophet.
I'm called to be a Christian, a servant
of the living God.
That is the highest calling that anyone can
realize.
I ought to be a lie to you,
and dead to you.
Oh, what can be done for an old
heart like mine?
Soften it up with oil and wine.
The oil is you, your spirit of love.
Please wash me anew in the wine of
your love.
On July 28, 1982, I stepped out onto
our back porch, and a blast of furnace
hot air hit me in the face.
It was so stifling I could hardly breathe.
It had to be the most oppressive day
we'd had that year, and I hoped the
air conditioning would be working in the ranch
house.
One of the highlights of this blistering hot
day was that John and Dede Smalley were
coming for a visit.
We'd met them years ago when we first
started going to the vineyard.
They had six children, and they were all
on their way to Connecticut to start a
home fellowship and eventually a church.
The Smalleys arrived shortly before dinner.
Keith took them on a quick tour of
the offices, and then we sat talking at
the dinner table in the ranch house living
room.
Just about that time, Josiah and Bethany came
skipping in.
They had just returned from their swimming lessons,
and their hair hung in damp ringlets around
their sun-kissed faces.
They both looked like little angels.
After dinner, Keith lost no time.
It was getting late, and even though we
were all tired, the Smalleys wanted to see
the rest of the ranch, including a quick
sightseeing flight in our leased Cessna 414.
Our pilot, Don Burmeister, who'd flown in the
military, would take them up.
Keith wanted me to come with them on
the flight, but I didn't want to go.
As Keith dashed out the front door, I
was struck by the sudden silence.
The living room was empty.
Were all the kids going, too?
No, Rebecca was still playing in her bedroom.
I ran to the front door.
Keith was standing on the far side of
the station wagon and was just about to
get in.
John and Dede were already inside with all
their kids.
Josiah was inside, too.
I couldn't even see him amidst all the
other heads.
All I could see was Bethany.
She was standing by the gate, and in
her sweet little girl voice, she was calling,
I want to go, too.
Keith said, let her in the car.
I stood on the porch and thought, no,
not her, too.
I at least want to keep Bethany.
It seemed like a crazy thought that Bethany
was lifted into the car.
It was all happening so fast.
I didn't expect all the kids to go.
Something didn't seem right.
I wanted to run out and call my
children back, but I didn't want to be
a spoil sport.
I couldn't understand where these awful feelings were
coming from.
Just as Bethany was lifted into the car,
Keith hesitated.
He called across the yard to me in
an off-handed way.
If I don't come back, raise Rebecca to
be a woman of God.
With Keith traveling so much, we talked about
the possibility of death before, but this seemed
like an odd time to bring up the
subject.
Of course, he was just kidding.
What about this one?
I said with a slight laugh as I
patted my just-pregnant tummy.
If it's a boy, name him Daniel.
You mean you don't want me to name
him after you, I said playfully, but the
conversation was starting to take a serious tone.
Okay, if it's a boy, you can name
him after me.
As I walked back into the house, it
felt so empty.
I really didn't like Keith taking the kids
on the airplane any more than necessary.
I knew I was going to feel silly
about my fears when they all got back
in a few minutes, but in a few
minutes, the phone rang.
It was one of the girls from the
office.
She said, our plane just went down.
I'm going to call an ambulance, but I
wanted to tell Keith first.
Will you tell him?
It was like getting socked in the stomach.
It took me less than a minute to
get to the mile-long runway, but try
as I might, I couldn't see anything of
our plane.
I drove down the airstrip.
There were people running.
From the end of the airstrip, I could
now see a thin column of smoke rising
out of the woods in the distance.
Jesus, Jesus, I thought, this can't be happening.
After reaching a place of uncleared woods, I
jumped out of the car and took off
through the thick trees.
I stopped a few times, out of breath,
feeling like I might pass out, but I
had to keep going.
My husband and children needed me.
I kept running, listening for their screams or
cries.
It was totally quiet.
After what seemed like an eternity, I finally
broke into a clearing, and I was overwhelmed
by the awesome silence that hung in the
air.
Everyone there was standing still.
No one said a word.
I felt something warm beneath my feet.
The ground I was standing on was black
and smoldering.
I got as close as I could to
what was left of the airplane and looked
right inside, because the was completely gone.
I quickly turned and walked away and didn't
look again.
Some rescue workers arrived.
They were asking how many people were in
the plane, and I was the only person
who knew exactly who was on board.
I started counting.
There were the Smallies with their six kids,
and Keith and our two children, and Don.
Twelve.
The rescue workers just looked at me when
I told them.
Then it hit me.
Why on earth did twelve people go up
in that plane?
Now I felt so weak, I wanted to
lie down, but there wasn't any place there
in the woods.
I felt so vulnerable.
I turned and started back, and when we
were almost out of the woods, we passed
a fireman on his way in.
I simply said, there are no survivors.
What that meant to him and what that
meant to me were two different things.
On the morning following the crash, I opened
my eyes and for a split second, it
felt like any other morning.
That was the only relief of the day,
as reality came quickly crashing in.
I had a doctor's appointment that day, and
I decided to keep it.
I had to spend my time doing something.
My pregnancy was confirmed, but being in town
was terrible.
The plane crashed with headline news, complete with
pictures.
I saw newspapers in the drugstore and outside
the restaurant where I stopped to eat.
I wanted to stop and scream out loud
to everyone.
That's my family, my husband, my children.
How can you act like everything's so normal?
How can you be smiling today?
As news of the crash broke, the media
came out in full force.
It got crazy.
Helicopters circled overhead, and we were swamped with
reporters and camera crews wanting statements.
The news teams camped out there, just a
few hundred yards from my door.
Word fanned out around the world.
Lauren heard about it in Japan.
Other friends heard in Finland.
Keith's grandmother found out when she saw Keith's
picture flashed across her television screen in California.
Phone calls, letters, flowers, and telegrams poured in
from people in all walks of life who
had been touched by Keith and his music.
But the majority of messages came from Christians
out on the front lines somewhere who had
been encouraged to serve Jesus in a deeper
way because of Keith's ministry.
One of the important details I wanted to
take care of was to write a letter
to everyone who received our last day's magazine.
On Friday, July 30th, as I sat at
a computer terminal thinking, praying, and crying, a
phrase came into my mind, a grain of
wheat.
I thought, isn't there something in the Bible
about a grain of wheat?
It was John 12, 24.
Unless a grain of wheat falls to the
ground and dies, it remains alone.
But if it dies, it bears much fruit.
On Saturday, we had a memorial service open
to the public, and thousands of people attended.
Then on Sunday, we had the funeral open
only to personal friends.
I buried the children in the same coffin
with Keith, in the arms of their daddy.
At the end, I picked up the first
handful of dirt in Jewish tradition and threw
it into the grave.
My mother followed suit, and so did several
others as a small crowd dispersed.
In the months following Keith's death, remarkable reports
came from across the country and around the
world.
Almost at once, I was beginning to see
how the falling of this one grain of
wheat was already bearing fruit.
The Lord touched millions of lives through Keith,
and he would be missed.
There was a deep grieving that swept through
the body of Christ when Keith died.
There was a sobering, too.
God took one of his choice servants home
at the age of 28, and it spoke
reality to all of us.
We have no time guarantees.
We must use the time we have to
the fullest.
As Winky spoke at festivals that summer, crowds
of young people came to him, weeping as
they told him, I've gotten serious with God
since Keith died.
In fact, Christians everywhere were asking God, who's
going to speak to our generation now?
Keith's death left a void, but it was
used to point believers to Jesus.
The answer was in Keith's for prophets only
article, where he left us with these wise,
simple words.
Every Christian is called to speak to their
generation.
I believe the Lord has something he wants
this generation to gain from Keith's story.
I hope it will encourage you not to
look to Keith, but to see the call
God has on your life.
Keith had been a Christian for seven years
when he went home.
Because of his high profile as a new
believer, he did a lot of his growing
in the public eye.
Keith hit like a bombshell, then left just
as suddenly.
Perhaps there's something precious to glean from closely
observing the strengths and weaknesses of a fellow
struggler in the faith.
Maybe it's the simple fact that we all
have areas of weakness, but God is faithful
to use us in the fullest way if
we give ourselves totally to him.
Your gifts may be different from Keith, but
they are just as important.
Whether they are up front or behind the
scenes, God wants you to use them for
him.
You have an important part to play in
this generation.
That's why you're living at this time in
history.
Last Days Ministries continues today to fulfill her
destiny to this generation as a living reflection
of Keith's life and ministry.
A lot has happened at Last Days in
the past 10 years, and I'm excited about
our future too.
Let me fill you in.
During two years of Keith Green Memorial Concerts,
we went to 110 cities, taking Keith's missions
challenge to over 300,000 Christians.
I've met people around the world who are
in missions today as a result.
Last Days has more staff than ever, over
200, and we continue to grow.
We're also developing an international communication center to
multiply God's message in print and by the
spoken word and song.
We've launched schools in printing, desktop publishing, video
production, illustration, worship, and music ministry, and in
1991, we officially linked arms with Youth With
a Mission to further our international calling.
In many ways, we feel like we've just
begun, and my prayer is that this book
will be a new beginning for you in
some way.
You too have a call on your life
and a destiny to fulfill, but to find
your purpose, first you need to be sure
you're plugged into the source of all life.
If you don't already have a relationship with
Jesus, I encourage you to open your heart
as Keith did.
God is knowable, and he is real.
God will be faithful to reveal himself to
all who sincerely seek him.
There isn't a life that can't be transformed,
a heart that can't be mended, a wound
that can't be healed, and if you already
know the Lord, then do what he's calling
you to do, and do it with all
of your heart.
May the Lord bless you as you press
on to know him.
I want to tell you something.
Unless we truly love one another, our worship
is a stench in the Lord's nostrils.
Unless we truly are living a life of
love, Paul said we can speak in tongues,
we can prophesy.
He said you could give away all your
bucks, you could give away all your clothes,
you could you could become a martyr and
burn on the stake for Jesus, but if
you don't love one another, it stinks.
After listening to the audiobook, I realized that
you might not be familiar with Last Days
Ministries.
If you're not, I really want you to
be.
I'd love to send you four free issues
of the Last Days magazine, along with a
selection of track messages by me and Keith
and others, and some basic information on our
schools and other ministry opportunities.
Just write us and ask for the complimentary
Keith Green audiobook packet, and we'll send it
right off to you without any obligation.
We just want to let you get to
know us a little better.
Write Last Days Ministries, Lindale, Texas, and the
zip is 75771.
May the Lord bless you as you press
on to know him better.
Copyright 1992 Sparrow Press.