Well, it's really good to be here with
all of you, with all you young people
and everything.
Let's go to the Lord in prayer.
Father I pray that you would help us,
strengthen us, guide us for your sake, for
the edification of your people, in Jesus' name,
give us wisdom, Lord.
Amen.
Now before we get started I'd like to
ask the young people some questions.
Is there anything, any particular question or subject
that you'd like to talk about?
No one ever asked you that, did they?
Anybody?
Anything particular?
If not, I'm going to preach at you
very hard.
Yes?
Being raised in a Christian home, it's very
hard for me to see the life change
in my own life from living in a
very moral home and then becoming a Christian
myself.
I am a Christian, but there wasn't a
drastic, you know, you hear these drastic testimonies
of someone who's totally on the other side
of the fence.
I was lost, but now I am saved,
but it's not drastic.
Can you talk about that?
Well, first of all, so many people think
that people like me and others that were
very, very worldly and wayward prior to our
conversion, that we have a stronger, better testimony.
There's two ways in which God gets glory
for Himself in a testimony.
When we hear how God has saved someone
from a terrible lifestyle, it demonstrates His power.
But a greater demonstration of God's power is
how He kept someone from a horrible lifestyle
all the days of their life.
Now, there are some pitfalls.
First of all, you used the word moral
a few times in your question.
The one thing that you've got to realize
is that morals can be as damning as
immorality because there are many, many moral homes,
in a sense, very moral, that are not
Christian.
And so what you want to be looking
for in your life, although that may be
the outward morals, there wasn't a drastic change,
but there should have been just as drastic
a change in your heart with regard to
appreciation and passion for Jesus Christ.
And that's a good thing for homeschoolers to
take note of, and anyone who is just
taking seriously raising their children for Christ, is
that I hear people say, I lived in
a moral home.
What we're really looking for is, I lived
in a home that was passionate about the
person of Jesus Christ.
And that always will.
If, for example, someone is raised in a
very, very moral home, they still will not
be passionate for Jesus Christ.
But that conversion should bring about a passion.
Another thing that you need to realize and
be very, very careful of is, I know
how bad the filth of this world is.
I know how bad it is.
You don't.
The devil is always, ever since the beginning
with Adam and Eve, God told Adam and
Eve that if they did certain things, they
would experience certain things.
Now, God's Word should have been enough.
But the play of the devil was what?
Experience it first to see if it's really
true.
Okay?
And so, maybe you'll never be pulled out
of a drunk or have your life ruined
and everything else.
Maybe you haven't tasted of many of the
horrible things in this immoral fallen world.
And the devil may come to you at
times and say, well, it's really not that
bad.
You've been sold a bill of goods.
Try it.
You might see that you can still be
Christian and do all these things.
You have to be very, very careful.
Very careful.
You have to accept God at His Word.
A very popular statement in modern humanism is,
live and learn.
Live and learn.
You've probably heard people tell you that.
Live and learn.
That is a demonic statement.
Okay?
Birthed out of the bowels of hell.
It's wrong.
The Bible never says live and learn.
The Bible says learn and live.
God told Adam and Eve, learn and live.
Satan told them, live and learn.
Experience it and then you'll really know it.
There's some things you shouldn't know.
There's some things that you should be innocent
to.
Really.
That's why people will tell me about my
two boys.
Well, you can't protect them from everything.
And I say, no, but I can protect
them from a lot more than what most
people think.
And even wanted to say, but I can
protect them from you, can't I?
So there is a sense of protection.
We hear this idea and it's very, very
common that you're sort of backwoodsy and ignorant.
As we say in Peru, inocenton.
You're just a little boy who doesn't know
anything.
I want to tell you something.
It's good to be a little boy in
some areas of life.
A little girl.
Because if experiencing filth is growing up, it's
better to stay innocent.
The Bible commands us to be innocent with
regard to certain things.
So what you have, young man, if indeed
you have been saved and if indeed you
have been protected from these things, it is
a great blessing.
The greatest of blessings.
The greatest.
Is there another question?
Yes.
Well, first of all, the power of God
in the life of every believer can manifest
itself in different ways.
And we see this in 1 Corinthians 11
-14.
There were some...
All the true Christians in Corinth were gifted,
but it seemed that some had gifts that
were more exciting and that were more noticeable.
For example, I was the most noticeable person
here this week.
After me would be the music director because
we were the only ones who really exercised
their gifts.
See, the way church is set up today,
and it's wrong, where's your opportunity to exercise
your gifts?
You see what I'm saying?
So when only a few handful of people
ever exercise their gifts publicly, you're going to
think that they have more power.
But at the same time, there are also
callings.
It's not just regard to the way in
which power is manifested, but there are also
callings.
You cannot deny as you go through Christian
history that there were some men and women
that seemed to have just absolutely something special
on their life.
It's undeniable.
You cannot explain Charles Spurgeon.
I mean, it wouldn't matter if I studied
from the time I was born until right
now, 24 hours a day, I would never
be able to do, to know, and to
preach what Charles Spurgeon preached.
He read a thousand pages a day, and
if you asked him three months later where
he read a certain thing, he could tell
you off the top of his head the
book, the volume, the page number, and what
side of the page it was on.
Now it doesn't matter how much I fast
or pray, I'm never going to do that.
Alright, so look at what we've looked at
so far.
Every believer, in a sense, the power of
God is manifested.
In some, it seems to be manifested more
because there's more opportunity.
In some, it seems to be manifested more
because of their gifts.
In some, it seems to be manifested more
just because you have to realize God has
done something very special with a very special
person, and He does not do it to
every person.
He doesn't.
Now, some people would have a problem with
that, but if you understand election, you won't
have a problem with it.
God can do anything He wants with anybody
at any time.
Now, there is another thing which is very
controversial only because of the people who claim
it, who don't have it, and who have
very bad doctrine.
I'm referring to the charismatic movement.
Okay?
I am a...
I don't know what you would call me.
Kind of a cross between...
I'm a Calvinistic Baptist sort of Mennonite and
a Baptist kind of person.
It's really kind of strange.
I don't really know...
I call myself a historical Baptist.
Alright?
One of the...
A dinosaur.
A theological dinosaur.
Okay.
But in that context, you've got to realize
something.
We have allowed many of the false teachers
and false movements to rob our heritage from
us.
We don't talk much about the fullness of
the Holy Spirit because we're afraid that they'll
identify us with the people who do talk
about it and who have false doctrine.
We don't talk much about gifts.
We don't talk much about the power of
God.
We don't talk much about miracles.
We don't talk much about the presence of
God and so many different things.
And it's not because they're not biblical.
Everyone would recognize that terminology as biblical.
It's that we're afraid that someone's going to
think we're as kooky as the people who
do talk about this stuff.
I am not going to allow anyone to
rob me of my heritage.
I was telling the pastor this afternoon, if
Jehovah's Witnesses knock on my door and I
open the door and they go, we're Jehovah's
Witnesses, I go, well, come on in.
So am I.
And then after I let them talk for
a while, I look at them and go,
you lied to me.
You said you were Jehovah's Witnesses, but you're
not witnessing for Jehovah.
You're telling lies about him.
Now sit down.
I'm a real Jehovah's Witness and I'm going
to tell you what Jehovah has said.
He sent His Son and His Son is
God and His Son died on that tree.
And it's okay to call it a cross.
You know, the point being, if someone says
they're charismatic, I go, well, praise God, so
am I.
Because I am.
Charismatic just means gifted.
I'm gifted.
Everyone who's a Christian is gifted.
Now, in Acts 2 and Acts 1, and
we see it played out in Acts 2,
the disciples are told to tarry in Jerusalem.
Aren't they?
And for what reason?
To receive power.
Now, theologically, I hold a very historical position
with regard to the baptism of the Holy
Spirit and receiving the Holy Spirit at conversion
and things such as that.
But you have to understand that men like
Charles Spurgeon, the Puritans, Ian Murray, Martin Lloyd
-Jones, many, many others believed that God can
work supernaturally in the life of a believer
collectively with other believers and alone.
And that there could be many, many experiences
and many, many manifestations of the Holy Spirit
in the life of a believer.
And that the believer is to be constantly
seeking the fullness of the Holy Spirit in
whatever manifestation that might mean.
Because if you look in Acts chapter 4,
when the church was under persecution and they
cried out to God, they were once again
filled with the Holy Spirit.
It was a physical manifestation and the house
shook.
So you can't just say God did something
supernatural at Pentecost and He's never going to
do it again.
You can't say that.
I'm sorry.
You can say it, but you're wrong.
What you need to realize is this.
Christianity is supernatural.
Christianity has no life and no power apart
from the Holy Spirit.
Jesus commanded us to pray for the Holy
Spirit.
Now, here's another thing.
Because of the charismatic movement and our fear
of being identified with Him, whenever someone comes
to the text where Jesus commanded to pray
and that the Father would give you the
Holy Spirit and He'd give it to you,
we take that as...
we don't even talk about that.
But what He's talking about, according to Charles
Spurgeon, according to the Puritans, was that we
were to be constantly praying for greater and
greater manifestations of the Spirit's life and power
in our life.
Do you do that?
And there is a sense of tarrying before
God that His power and His life might
rest upon you in a special way.
When I was saved, like the very next
day, I got in a debate with a
guy out on the street like a street
preacher.
I mean, that's where my career began, the
next day.
And then I started going out to 6th
Street in Austin, which is one of the
most ungodly places you could ever imagine.
It's like Austin's version of Bourbon Street.
And I started going out there preaching just
a few months after I was saved.
I was terrified of men.
I had no power.
I was scared.
And every night I would come home, I
would be so depressed because even though I
tried, I knew there was nothing.
And one night I came home, I just
tossed my Bible on the bed, and I
said, either that book is not true, which
I knew that wasn't true, or something's wrong
with my life.
And it just so happens, an old believer
in the church there in Austin came up
to me and he said, you need to
read some of these books.
And he just handed them to me.
It was the autobiography of George Mueller.
It was Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret.
It was a few books by Leonard Ravenhill.
Why Revival Terry's, Meet for Men, things like
that.
Some of the old guys.
Andrew Murray, E.M. Bounds.
And I started reading them.
And I noticed that the only common denominator
among these men, and I've noticed this throughout
all my Christian studies, is that there were
certain men in history who actually believed that
God would meet with them.
There are certain men in history that actually
believed that if they sought God's presence and
God's face, that God would show Himself to
them.
That if they cried out for His life
and His power, that He would give it.
Something happened to me in this sense.
I was given an ability to pray.
I have to say was given because I've
never been able to replicate it.
I've never been able to duplicate it.
But after I read those books, I began
to pray.
I was a full-time student at the
University of Texas.
I'd come home from the library at like
10.30 or 11 at night.
I would go into the closet, literal closet,
and I would cry out to God until
1.30 or 2 in the morning and
get up and then work the breakfast shift
as a waiter at a place, a dormitory
there.
And it went on for weeks and weeks
turned into months.
Almost insane.
I didn't care.
I didn't pray for missions.
I didn't pray for...
I would sit there.
My roommates actually asked me to stop and
leave.
They said, we can't even sleep anymore.
I would literally be before God for hours
and hours a night going, You promised if
I cried out to You, if I sought
You, You would show Yourself to me.
You would make Yourself known.
You would fill me with Your life and
Your power.
I have been here now for four months,
six days, and You have not come.
And crying out to God and crying out
to God.
And then, I'm just giving you a true
testimony.
I'd be a liar if I told you
any other thing.
And then it was just about spring break.
I'll never forget.
And all the Christian students were going to
go on a ski trip to Colorado and
have little Bible studies.
And I felt like God was just no.
And I went out to West Texas and
I climbed up on a hill as though
I was absolutely out of my mind and
for days got to the point where I
literally was grabbing rocks and throwing them up
at the sky saying, either kill me or
show me Your presence.
I don't know why.
Because the prayer life I had then I
have tried with all my might and I
can't duplicate it.
It was the work of God.
That's all I can say.
And one night when I was back in
Austin, I'll never forget, I cried out to
God and God came.
And I was thrown down on the floor
with such fear.
I curled up in a fetal position.
I covered my head and I whimpered like
a baby.
And I thought that God had had enough
of me and come to kill me.
And it went on for hours.
And then all of a sudden, all the
fear was taken away and my heart was
filled with joy and my mouth shot open
wide and for over an hour and a
half it was like the book of Psalms
came out of my mouth.
Just saying glorious things.
Yes, in the English language.
Saying glorious things about God.
And from that moment on, my life was
different.
That does not mean I don't struggle with
sin.
I struggle terribly with sin.
But my life was different.
Totally different.
And that the life of a Christian is
a supernatural life.
It is wrought by supernatural means.
And the more you cut yourself off from
the arm of the flesh, the more you
will see God move.
God could sweep through here right now and
I've seen Him do it.
And cast everybody in this room on the
ground.
Not like those silly TV things, but down
trembling and weeping over their sin.
God can save 300 people with a five
minute sermon.
I've seen it with my own eyes.
The thing about it is, is Christianity is
not just being proper and rule orientated and
moral.
It is a wild, uncivilized hunger for God.
And I always say it's the difference between
a boy and a man of God.
Some of you will learn a lot of
theology, but you'll never really know the one
you talk so correctly about.
It's all second hand.
It's all something you read in a book.
And you could go back and you could
talk to Spurgeon, and you could talk to
the Puritans, you could talk to Edwards, you
could talk to Tozer, and they'd all tell
you the same thing.
You talk to Dwight L.
Moody.
God came upon his life one time in
the middle of the street, so strong when
he was not expecting.
He had to be put in a hotel
room for two days.
That's one of the reasons.
Now some people probably will not like what
I've said, but it's true.
Christianity is not just about dressing right, saying
right things, looking right, and being nice and
neat and proper.
Where are the wild men?
Where are the ones who are just stinking
fed up with everything and can't stand it
anymore and go out on a hill and
scream up to heaven until God shows up?
That's the difference.
And that's why some people have power of
God on their life to carry out their
ministries.
And others just seem to kind, to mope.
I'm not trying to set anything up about
myself.
I'm just telling you and answering your question.
Old men have told me these things.
I remember one time when I was a
brand new preacher.
There's this store in Paducah, Kentucky where they
basically, it's not there anymore I don't think,
but they would give discounts to preachers to
buy a suit.
I was going to buy my first suit.
And I was in there and all of
a sudden, this old man walked in.
Old man.
I don't listen to young men very much.
They really don't have much to say.
An old man.
And he looked at me and he said,
boy, you've been called to preach.
I said, yes sir.
He began to tell me.
He said, you know boy, you'll probably be
asked to go to churches and preach for
three or four days.
He said it won't amount to a hill
of beans.
He says, no one really wants revival nowadays.
They want a three, four day meeting.
You're not going to see revival that way.
He said, boy, I was preaching in a
tent over here back in the 50's.
He pointed over to kind of a place
where I guess used to be an abandoned
lot.
He said, I preached there.
And like all the other preachers, I preached
for two, three weeks.
Wouldn't even think about giving an invitation.
And I said, well, when would you give
an invitation?
He said, when the power of God fell
down on the place.
That's when I'd give an invitation.
And I said, well, how did you know
when that happened?
He said, well, once I was preaching over
there.
Preaching for about two weeks and it was
dry as a bone.
The ceiling was like brass.
There was no God in it at all.
And some man walked up to me and
handed me some money to get a suit.
And I walked over in this store.
And when I came through this door, there
was a young clerk on the other side
of the room over there.
And he turned around.
And the moment his eyes fixed on mine,
he fell to the ground and screamed out,
who can save me from my sin?
He said, I knew the power of God
was about to fall.
The old Baptist preachers, the old Presbyterian, the
old Congregational, they were men of God.
Now we've got little professionals with diplomas.
They're really nice.
That's about it.
I'm very, very fortunate that in my life,
I have been around a lot of those
old men.
The Duncan Campbells of the Great Hebrides Revival.
You do well to hear one of the
last sermons he ever preached on what happened
in Louisville in Wales and the great revivals
that occurred there.
Leonard Ravenhill, even though I don't agree with
him theologically in some things, he had more
of the power of God on his life
than 10,000 Calvinists with a diploma.
And so that's a very important thing.
For some of you young men thinking about
going into the ministry, I think it was
Reedhead that said, all you'll learn in school
is one fallen head teaching another fallen head.
The point that he was making is you
need more than knowledge.
You need to know Him.
Not just know about Him.
You see, the doctor, any doctor in this
entire city here knows more about my wife
than I do.
They know about how our blood works and
how our bones grow.
They know so much more about my wife,
but they don't know my wife.
A lot of theologians.
They can tell you everything you want to
know about God.
They don't really know God.
There's a supernaturalness to the Christian life that
few people have even begun to discover.
Do you know that God could tell you
right now to get up and get in
your car and drive three houses down and
witness to the person that's there?
Do you know God can speak that clearly?
And sure, you say, well, now hold on.
There's a lot of bad things.
There's a lot of people who teach bad
things on the Trinity.
So are you going to deny the Trinity?
Just because people take doctrines like that, people
who don't even know God or know the
Bible, people that act foolish and everything else,
do silly things, does it mean that we're
just going to totally shut God out of
our lives?
The only place where you're going to have
absolute order is a cemetery.
And the greatest needs, if you're called into
the ministry as a young man, go find
God.
Go chase Him down.
Such boldness God likes when a young man
can't live with just words and propositions, but
wants to know the living God, God will
show Himself.
Is there another question?
I want to talk for a moment about
several things, if we get a chance to.
First of all, I'd like to talk about
how to build a fence around yourself.
How to build a biblical wall of protection
around yourself.
We're going to dig some post holes and
put some posts in.
People are always asking me, what's the will
of God?
Young people, what's the will of God?
What's the will of God?
And I always tell them, stop worrying about
the decretive will of God.
Stop worrying about who you're going to marry,
where you're going to live, what kind of
job you're going to have, and begin to
concentrate all your energy on the perceptive will
of God, His commands, what He's commanded you
to do in Scripture.
If you follow His commands and follow His
statutes and seek out His wisdom, He'll lead
you.
Sometimes telling you He'll lead you, and sometimes
His invisible hand will lead you, and you
won't even know it's Him until you look
back later on in your life and see
that He's written all over every page.
But anything that comes up in your life,
whether it's a book you want to read,
or music you want to listen to, or
a relationship, or a job, there are certain
things that if you will just use them
as a filter, they will save you from
a lot of harm.
Now the first one is found, the first
fence post that we're going to drill is
found in 1 Corinthians 10
.31. Is it the will of God?
Well, let's look in 1 Corinthians 10.31.
Whether then you eat or drink or whatever
you do, do all to the glory of
God.
So the first question regarding absolutely anything in
your life is does this glorify God?
Does it bring honor, glory, pleasure to God?
So here's a book that you think that
you want to read, but it's rather risque
in some parts.
It could bring a cause for something like
does this glorify God?
What this person is saying, does it glorify
God?
No, then I don't need it.
The clothing that you put on, does it
glorify God?
That's the only thing you have to...
Would someone look at you and glorify God?
Worship God?
Honor God?
Does it bring God pleasure?
And listen to me, folks.
When I talk about clothing, it's very, very
important.
I am not simply talking about whether the
clothing is decent.
You see, we think that as long as
our clothing doesn't cause someone to stumble, it's
okay.
No, that's not the question.
Would someone look at our clothing and would
it have a sense of bringing honor and
glory to God the way we look?
So it's not just that the clothing be
decent, but that it be somewhat exceptional.
Not exceptional in luxury or in elegance, but
exceptional in fitness, in appropriateness, in demonstrating excellence,
in communicating something about what God has done
to us.
You see, just everything.
The music you want to listen to.
Ask yourself the question, does it glorify God?
Parents, if you have problems with the music
that your children listen to, sit down with
the music, listen to it, and ask the
child to explain to you how that music
glorifies God.
Explain to me, teach me, show me how
this glorifies God.
A relationship, does it glorify God?
Does it bring honor to Him?
Is it an act of worship towards Him?
So that's the first thing.
Everything that you're going to do, you ask
yourself this question, does it glorify God?
Because even if you do the most menial
task of eating and drinking, the purpose of
it is to do what?
Glorify God.
Okay?
Glorify God.
Now, here's a few more fence posts we're
going to put in there.
Go to Romans chapter 12, verse 2.
And do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your
mind so that you may prove what the
will of God is.
Now He's going to tell us what the
will of God is.
That which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Okay?
So if it's the will of God, first
of all, it's going to glorify God.
Correct?
It's going to glorify God.
Then the next thing is, it's going to
be good.
This word in the Greek particularly refers to
something healthy, sound, has a quality and substance
of good, of healing, of soundness.
It's not rotten.
It won't cause rot or decay.
It is a sound, healthy thing.
So you ask yourself, whatever this thing is
in your life that you're wanting to do
or the relationship you want to be in,
or whatever it is, you ask yourself, is
it good?
Does it promote my spiritual well-being?
Does it promote that?
You've got to ask yourself that question.
Does it promote my spiritual well-being?
Will I walk away from this more Christ
-like, more holy, possibly more rested, more confident
in Christ, more willing to serve, more given
to the things of heaven rather than the
things of earth?
Does this thing prosper me spiritually?
If it doesn't, I really shouldn't participate in
it.
And I have to stop here for a
moment because someone might say, well, you know,
right now I'm in a calculus class and
it really isn't helping me grow in Christ.
That's because you have a secular mind.
It's not calculus's fault.
It's yours.
You have a secular, carnal mind.
What do I mean by that?
You know what calculus is?
Along with every true science, it's an exploration
into the glory of God.
It is.
I mean, you realize that's the only reason
mathematics work is because there's a God?
The only reason there's physics?
The only reason you can send a rocket
anywhere is because there's a God?
And the whole thing that you've got to
also see is you've got to be very,
very careful that you don't have a secular,
sacred mindset.
Everything you do.
I love to work out in my woodshop.
No one has ever gotten saved out there.
But I don't get much time alone between
my family, my wife, my children, traveling.
But if I can get out there for
an hour or two, once every two weeks,
and just be out there for a little
while and make a bow or work on
a piece of furniture and just commune with
God and marvel at the grain of the
wood, watch an arrow fly and realize the
only reason the arrow flies is because of
God.
So you see, when I say that it
ought to glorify God, I don't mean that
you're going to spend the rest of your
life on a church pew with a hymn
book in front of you.
You've got to drop this idea that some
things are sacred and some things are secular.
If you're a Christian, everything is sacred, even
the pots and pans in your house, because
you ought to be cooking to the glory
of God.
So you ask yourself, does it glorify God?
Second question, does it prosper me spiritually?
Does it prosper me?
Does it prosper me spiritually?
Is it good?
Now, the next question is this, is it
acceptable?
Is it acceptable?
Did you ever think about that?
Acceptable to whom?
To your culture?
To your flesh?
No, is it acceptable to God?
You see, it's like what you decide to
do in a church.
You know, people always say, well, we've never
done it that way before.
It really doesn't matter.
The only question is, is it acceptable to
God?
Is it what God commands in Scripture?
So you look at a relationship, you look
at music, you look at video, you look
at this or that, everything in your life,
and you ask yourself this question, is this
acceptable to God?
I mean, is this really what God approves
of and what He desires?
Okay?
Then, we go on to another, and it
is this, perfect.
Perfect.
Now, what does this mean?
It means complete.
And let me give you a perfect example
of this.
If it's the will of God, it's going
to be perfect.
And primarily, I think this is referring to
this.
You do not, if it is the will
of God in one area of your life,
you will not have to violate another aspect
of the will of God to do it.
Let me give you an example.
A pastor who says, I was doing the
will of God and carrying out the ministry
and doing the work of the ministry, and
in order to do the work of the
ministry, I had to sacrifice my family.
You want to see a problem there?
Because God also has a will for your
behavior among your family.
And if you're saying, I can't carry out
God's will in my family because I have
to carry out God's will in the ministry,
there's some serious problems going on here.
One of them is, either God is wrong,
really messed up, or you're not in the
middle of God's will.
Or it's like the girl who decides she
wants to do missionary dating.
I know he's lost, but I care so
much about him.
Or I know he's an immature Christian, but
I care so much about him that I
want to get involved in his life so
that he will become the godly man.
That's like saying, I want to rob a
bank because I need to build a church
in Peru.
And it needs money.
It doesn't work.
You can't ever carry out one aspect of
God's will by violating another aspect of God's
will.
And when you do do that, like Abraham,
God promised Abraham what?
His descendants would be like the stars of
the heavens.
Well, God was a little bit slow in
delivering on that promise, so Abraham just thought
he would give him some help.
And the curse of that still goes on
today.
Today.
I was just reading about more conflict between
the Palestinians and Israel and everything else on
the radio when I was coming here.
That was a direct result of Abraham helping
out God with regard to his will.
So see, you can't...
Or I hear churches will say, well, we
need to drop the bar a little bit
on this holiness stuff in order to bring
more people into the church so that they
can get saved.
No.
We need to become a little bit less
religious so that seekers will be drawn to
us.
No.
Be seeker friendly.
Well, you need to be seeker friendly.
You just need to realize that the Bible
says there's only one seeker and it's God.
And if you want to be friendly to
somebody, I suggest you be friendly to Him.
Men don't seek God.
Men seek to make their own.
So see, you never can carry out the
will of God in one area by violating
it in another.
So let's look at so far how we're
protecting ourselves.
Nothing's going to come through into our life
through the fence we've built so far.
If it doesn't glorify God, it's not going
to come into our life.
Okay?
If it doesn't prosper me spiritually, help me
to grow in Christlikeness, it's not coming into
my life.
Okay?
If it's not acceptable to God, it's not
coming into my life.
And if it's kind of off-colored, not
perfect, it's not coming into my life.
Okay?
Now, let's look at one more thing.
Go to the book of Philippians 4.
Verse 8.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there
is any excellence and if anything worthy of
praise, dwell on these things.
Now, young people, this applies to every aspect
of your life, but particularly to your mind.
Here's what needs to go into your mind.
This is the qualifications it has to have
for you to listen to it, look at
it, think about it.
It has to be this.
First of all, is it true?
Is it true?
Is what you're watching, looking at, hearing, believing,
is it true?
Because if it's not true, don't set it
before you.
If it's not true, don't do it.
Is it honorable?
Will God honor it on the day of
judgment?
Will God reward it on the day of
judgment?
Because if He will not, then don't do
it.
Whatever is right, not according to the world's
standards, but according to God's standards.
Whatever is pure, that means not off-colored
or mixed.
You know when it says, Blessed are the
pure in heart, for they shall see God.
The word in Greek is literally referring to
unalloyed, without mixture.
There are so many things that we do
and so many things that are put before
us that are kind of, well, it's not
really that bad.
One of the most amazing things I ever
hear Christians say is, you need to go
see that film because it doesn't have much
cussing in it.
Okay?
And then it goes on and says, whatever
is lovely, beautiful.
If I were to get my PhD, I
think I would write my main thesis on
the beauty of God.
No one ever touches on that.
And the fact that you can tell when
a society begins to depart from God because
even in their physical appearance they begin to
lose beauty.
Their clothing, their mannerisms, their abuse of either
femininity or masculinity, it's all lost.
We ought to be, in a sense, a
lovely people.
Now, let me give you an illustration of
that.
It's kind of funny.
But when I was a brand new Christian,
I was going to Christ Memorial Baptist Church
in Austin, Texas.
And they had a choir of about, I
don't know, 40 people or something.
And after a while, I mean, I was
a young guy, 21 years old, you know.
And after a while, there was this lady
in the middle of the choir.
And I just, every time I would go,
I mean, she would just stand out.
And you just, you know, I don't know.
You know, I thought, man, she was like
in her 40s.
I mean, she was an old lady.
And I would just walk in, I was
just like, when she'd be singing and everybody
would be singing, just kind of be, she
was just so, I don't know, beautiful.
Now, I don't want to sound crass or
anything, but physically, she wasn't, I mean, she
was, my goodness, she was in her 40s.
And, you know, she kind of had a
really big nose.
And kind of had just really long, gray,
unkept hair.
And, I mean, she just, what I'm trying
to say is she wasn't physically attractive.
But I just, and so one day, I
go to the guy who's discipling me, Stuart
DiPina.
Big old guy.
And I go, Stuart, I need to ask
you a question.
And I lied.
I said, there's this girl.
And he goes, now look, Wash, he goes,
you've just been a Christian for a little
while, you're going to have to put that
stuff on the back burner until you become
a man of God.
And I said, well, she's not really a
girl.
She's a lady.
And well, she sings in the choir.
And I'm thinking, man, he is going to
think I am like really strange.
She sings in the choir and I don't
really know how to explain it.
And then this is what he does.
I'm not kidding you.
He goes like this.
He goes, I am going to prophesy.
I'm thinking, whoa, what's that?
And he goes, there is a woman in
the choir.
She sits in the middle of the choir.
She's gray-headed and old, in her forties.
No, she didn't say that, but she's got
gray hair.
And you don't know what it is, but
she just seems to be just the most
pleasant, attractive person you've ever laid your eyes
on.
And I went, wow, you're a prophet.
And he said, no, I'm not.
It's just that every person in this church
would say the same thing.
I said, I don't understand.
I said, you know, as a young guy,
Stuart, you know, we always struggle, especially when
we're on the campus of the University of
Texas, you know, not really Christian school.
And, you know, we always talk about how
we struggle and want to be men that
are pure.
But I see her, and she's like, you
just think about Jesus.
You think about, she just seems like so,
what is it?
And he goes, you've got to understand, it's
one of the godliest women you'll ever meet.
As a matter of fact, she'll come in
sometimes, even though she's not the janitor, and
just clean the toilets in the church.
She serves everybody.
She's in the Word all the time.
She loves Jesus, Paul.
That's what you're seeing.
That's the difference between the lovely that God
talks about and the sensuality that the world
talks about.
And it's real.
I want to tell you something.
It is real.
I'm not making this up.
It's real.
That people who love the Lord, that they're
going to reflect a certain degree of being
lovely, of attractiveness.
And there's a difference between that and the
horrible sensuality of the age.
And so there's a difference.
Young ladies, you should not seek to be
attractive so as to draw men to your
wares.
You should seek to reflect the glory of
Jesus Christ so as to be a blessing
and not a stumbling block.
And young men, it's the same thing.
It's the very, very same thing.
I was preaching at a university group a
few years ago.
And I started preaching on clothing, teaching them,
because they wanted me to.
No one teaches on this stuff anymore.
So I started teaching.
And there was this guy, I'll never forget,
sitting over to the left.
And he was like an Arnold Schwarzenegger wannabe.
And he had shorts on and a tank
top.
And they were so tight, they looked like
they'd been painted on.
And he's got a notebook.
And I'm preaching.
And he's taking down notes.
And he's just writing down everything I'm saying.
And he's saying amen and everything.
And finally, I just had to walk over
to him and say, are you brain damaged
or something?
You're amening everything I say, but I'm talking
about you.
The whole point of the matter is this.
Guys, it goes both ways.
It goes both ways.
It really does.
Never, never cast your eye upon a young
lady who thinks she can use her physical
attractiveness to attract you.
And never cast your eyes upon a young
man who tries to use the physical to
attract you.
Because there's pride there and there's sensuality.
And they'll probably use the same thing on
other people.
Just don't do that.
It's not a sin to be attractive.
But it is a sin to want anything
other than Jesus Christ to come forward.
Come forward.
Now, he says, whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence, if anything worthy
of praise, dwell on these things.
These are some things.
I just want to give this to you
briefly.
These are some things that you can put
as posts in your life.
And if what you want to do doesn't
meet up with these qualifications, then be very,
very afraid.
Now, I want to talk for a moment
about relationships with the opposite sex.
And it would be very, very important, I
think.
And what I want to do is just
explain to you a few simple things that
can be very, very helpful.
There are people who have designed all kinds
of meticulous forms of courtship and meticulous forms
of doing things.
And I just stand amazed at what they
write because I don't know how on earth
they ever got that out of the Bible.
It's like they wanted to build a big
system and they did it, but there just
isn't a whole lot of Scripture.
Folks, there just isn't a whole lot of
Scripture.
There isn't.
And you've got to learn the difference between
biblical truth and a man's inferences.
You really do.
Because the Bible really doesn't say a whole
lot about it.
But it says enough to radically change your
life and to radically protect you from falling.
Okay?
Now, let's look at two extremes really quick.
One extreme is very common nowadays.
The other extreme was common a long time
ago.
But here's the first extreme, the old extreme.
You're a young girl.
It's about time for you to be thinking
about marriage.
Okay?
So dad goes out.
He finds a guy that he really likes,
brings him home, and you have to marry
him.
Would you like that to happen?
No?
Be honest.
Not really.
All right?
You say, man, that is so terrible.
That's so perverse.
I mean, dad just goes out, finds the
guy he thinks would be best, and brings
him home.
And I've got to accept this guy?
I mean, I've got to marry him?
That is just horrid.
Okay, let's look at the other extreme.
The little 16-year-old daughter goes out,
finds the guy she likes, brings him home,
and dad has to accept him.
Now, let's just look at these two extremes
for a moment.
All right.
Here is a, let's say, 55-year-old
dad.
And here is a 16-year-old girl.
This 55-year-old dad, he can say
almost about everything.
16-year-old that you've come across, your
dad can look at you and say, been
there, done that, got the T-shirt.
If you're 16 years old, you know nothing.
Just want to make you feel good about
yourself.
What I mean is, the Bible says you're
young, you're naive, and you can be deceived.
That's what the Bible teaches.
Okay?
Now, a 16-year-old girl goes out
and sees this guy and just thinks he's
the most wonderful thing in the world.
He might be just a complete idiot.
And a monster to boot.
But she can't see it.
Why?
She's 16 years old.
Naive.
Doesn't really know what's going on.
Dad can take one look at that character
and go, you even think about getting 100
meters from my house, and you're a dead
man.
I can see right through you.
So, let's think about it for a moment.
If we had to make a choice between
dad choosing, being able, loving his daughter, having
poured his life into his daughter, and knowing
the way the world is, and knowing the
way other men are, can look through that
guy, discern really quick, know, and bring home
somebody that at least, that at least would
be reputable.
Whereas, daughter over here, could go pick any
man or a monkey on the tree, and
not know what she's gotten herself into.
Now, I believe both of those are extremes,
and both of them are wrong.
But if I had to choose one over
the other, I'd choose this one.
There'd be a lot less divorce, a lot
less deceiving, and a lot less broken hearts.
Now, both of these are extremes.
Now, having said that, I want us to
look at some things.
When should someone begin to think about dating?
The answer, absolutely never, because dating is unbiblical.
There's no case of dating in the Bible,
and there is no such thing as dating
in human history, up until a few decades
ago.
It is a modern phenomenon, and it is
quite amazing that that modern phenomenon, as it
has grown, so has immorality, and so has
divorce, and so has broken families, and broken
hearts, and everything else.
There's not one good thing about it from
A to Z.
Dating is unbiblical.
It just is.
And I can add an adjective to that.
Recreational dating.
You ever heard of that?
Recreational dating.
That's what most people do.
Recreational dating.
For example, a guy 16 years old figures
he's going to go out on his first
date, okay?
I'm talking about in the world today, the
way people think.
Go out on my first date.
Alright?
Now, here's the question.
Why do you want to go out with
this girl?
When do you have plans to marry her?
If you were to ask them that question,
what would they do?
I don't have any plans.
What are you, out of your mind?
I don't have any plans to marry her.
Why are you going out with her?
Why?
Well, have a good time.
Get you a fishing pole, if you want
to have a good time.
Why are you going out with her?
I'll tell you why.
So that, here's two reasons.
So that a little boy can play like
a man without assuming the responsibilities of a
man.
And so a selfish little boy can fulfill
his selfish little desires without giving back and
assuming the responsibility for what he's going to
do.
That's why.
It's wrong.
Now, let's look at something else.
It is no doubt that the age of
children being awakened to people of the opposite
sex is getting lower and lower and lower.
And the only reason for that is not
that we're evolving into some special creature.
The reason for it is because children at
a younger and younger age are awakened by
television, by other children around them, by the
spirit of the age.
That's why it's very important to protect your
child.
I've had this happen already.
I have a four-year-old.
A four-year-old.
And I've had people walk up to my
boy and say, well, they don't do it
anymore, but say, do you got a little
girlfriend?
And I just kind of push my son
back behind me like this, and I say,
don't you ever, ever say that to my
son again.
Who do you think you are?
And I don't care who I offend.
Don't you dare use that language around me.
What kind of sick human being are you?
My four-year-old have a girlfriend?
My four-year-old should be thinking about,
about Lincoln Logs and building sandcastles and reading
stories about Winnie the Pooh and don't you
come along, being used as an instrument of
the devil to awaken love when the Bible
says it should not be awakened.
But there is a proper time when it
does awaken.
Now here's something that you need to understand.
This is where the world really shows itself
to be insane.
Let's say that the idea of there is
an opposite sex out there, that the idea
is awakened in the heart of a 12
-year-old or a 13-year-old or
whatever age you want to put it, it's
awakened.
The world says it has awakened.
Okay, participate.
You've awakened to this reality that there are
people of the opposite sex?
Okay, go out there and participate.
And then there are Christians who are wrong
saying that the whole thing is demonic from
the beginning to the end and that's wrong
too.
Here's the way it really is.
When love is awakened, what do I mean
by that?
When a young person begins to realize that
there's people out there of the opposite sex,
when that is awakened in them, it is
not the sign from God for them to
begin to participate.
It is the sign from God for them
to begin to prepare.
The moment that is awakened, it is basically
God's notice to you saying this, okay, this
is a wonderful thing to participate in it.
You must be a godly man or a
godly woman.
And although you should have already begun preparing
for that from birth, now is even a
greater incentive and a greater motivation to go
and prepare, to become Christlike, to study the
Scriptures, to become a man, to gain yourself
a trade, to do all the things you
must do before you're allowed to participate in
this biblically.
And when that has been awakened, even in
a 12, 13, 14 year old, there is
nothing wrong in them seeing that desire to
be with someone, there is nothing wrong with
that desire being a major, not primary, but
major motivation in their desire to become godly
and to become mature.
Nothing wrong with that.
You see, we try to ignore the desire.
Hopefully it will go away.
We don't want it to go away, it's
from God.
We want to direct it.
Okay, son.
Your heart has been awakened to these things?
Okay.
You have a long journey ahead of you
before you will arrive there.
Now let's become men.
Dear daughter, this has been awakened in you?
Wonderful.
Now, let's prepare.
My wife has an article called, Becoming Esther.
As Esther had to prepare to become the
queen.
So you, dear lady, must prepare.
Become the queen of your home.
The handmaiden of your home.
And it's a wonderful thing.
It's not something to deny.
It's something to stand behind parent and direct
into something very positive and wonderful.
Be excited about it for them.
But that they prepare.
And how do they prepare?
Well, that's another sermon.
To prepare.
Godly men, beginning with fathers, are to teach
the younger men to be men.
That is to be the great thrust of
your life.
And if there are young men here who
have no fathers, it is the obligation of
this church to search them out and to
help them become men.
It is.
You know, we will run all over the
place evangelizing people we don't know, doing all
sorts of things to save the world.
We won't even save the people in our
own congregation.
We're always looking at the big picture, and
because of it, we're missing all the people.
And so it's to teach them.
Now, let me say something just really quick
about youth groups and things.
I've got quite a bit to say on
them, but let me just briefly talk about
that for a moment.
People get really upset that I am not
for youth groups.
And they don't understand I am not for
youth groups as they are done today.
Why?
Here's the way the modern day youth group
is.
You hire a young guy who's a few
years older than the other youths, who is
just as much a fool as they are.
He's older.
He's usually physically attractive, has a great personality
and looking for a wife.
He knows nothing about being a man, nothing
about raising children, nothing about nothing.
And then you take him like the Pied
Piper and he leads all your children over
to another room to do teenage church and
everything else.
You've taken them out from under the authority
of their father and their mother and the
elders and the adults and everything else and
taken them over there to become a companion
of fools.
They are fools teaching fools.
I told someone just recently, it was a
very large church, they asked me about, well,
how do we do youth ministry?
I said, don't do youth ministry, do family
ministry.
If you want to hire a guy, you've
got a lot of money you want to
spend, okay, hire a man to work full
time who has already raised children, he and
his wife, and have them disciple all the
parents in your church with regard to how
to raise teenagers.
You see, the work that should be done
is not some other person teaching our children,
but if we are ignorant of the truth,
someone teaching us how to teach our children.
Because the main player in your child's life
must be you, sir, and not some other
15 year old.
The idea that youth need to be with
youth is a complete contradiction to Scripture.
The Scripture says that children and youth need
to be with the mature.
Because if they are a companion of fools,
they will suffer harm.
But he who walks with the wise will
be wise.
Now, does that mean our youth never get
together?
That's the way some people feel, and I
think they're wrong too.
And one of the things that I usually
suggest is the following, that parents be held
accountable to disciple their children and to watch
over their children and to nurture their children
in the things of God.
Every two weeks or whatever, if you want
to, have a great big youth get together.
But here are some of the things that
need to be done.
They get together in order to celebrate and
rejoice in all that they've learned from their
parents.
And that their parents are present celebrating in
the same celebration.
There's nothing wrong with that.
That can be wonderful, you see.
And what else?
All the young kids that aren't really in
a Christian family or don't have a mom
and dad that are teaching them and nurturing
them.
What happens in a normal church?
You bring in kids who have no Christian
family.
They go to the church.
No, they go to the youth group.
And what do they find in the youth
group?
Not one mature adult, not one bit of
wisdom, nothing.
And they say, oh, this is Christian family.
It's just like mine.
It's just they go to church.
I don't see any dad or mom present
here just like in my house.
But if you did it the other way,
what happens is you've got some kids that
are coming in, praise the Lord, and they're
not from Christian families.
They have no idea what a Christian home
is.
And they go to the youth group meeting
that you have maybe once every two weeks
or once a month or something.
And they walk in there and what are
they seeing?
What is this?
These young people talking about and rejoicing in
what their dad taught them.
And mom and dad and them, we're all
playing together tonight and it's a wonderful time.
And oh, the generation gap really is a
lie birthed out of the demonic regime of
the 60's.
You see?
Then you've got all these lost kids coming
in going, oh, so that's what it means
to have a Christian home.
I would like to do that.
You think one of these elderly men would
disciple me?
You see?
But that's just...
Boy, I got 15 minutes.
I'm in trouble here.
Now, let me just give you a quick
run through.
This is just a really quick run through
on the way, courtship according to Paul Washer.
Okay?
Now, what I'm going to be using is
authority passages in Leviticus, authority passages primarily in
Ephesians 5, in Ephesians 6, talking about the
authority of the Father and things like this.
Now, what's going to be the biggest decision
of your life?
Who you're going to marry.
Okay?
That's a big one.
That is a big decision.
Okay, let's leave mom and dad out.
Not if you understand authority, you don't want
to do that.
So, let me just give you a really
quick, perfect case scenario of how this might
work.
Okay?
You're an 18-year-old guy.
You've grown.
And you see a girl.
And boy, dad, I see a girl.
And whoopee, I see a girl.
Here's a question.
Doesn't it say in Genesis, a man shall
do what?
Does anybody know?
Leave his father and mother.
When can you start thinking about having a
relationship with someone of the opposite sex?
Well, let me put it this way.
If dad's paying for your car insurance, he
can't do that yet.
A man shall leave his father and mother.
Does that mean he moves out of the
house?
Not necessarily.
But it does mean that he's grown to
be a man.
And his father and the other men can
recognize it.
Now see, here's a great problem.
Because of college, and I'm not totally against
college and things like that, but because of
college and things, this manhood thing gets kind
of delayed.
But let's say that here's a young man.
He's not going to go to college.
He's 19.
He's already started a small business.
He's learned to trade from his father or
maybe from someone else in the church.
Or let's say that he's going to college.
He's in his third year.
He's about out.
He's been working while going to school.
He's got prospects of a job.
I mean, he's going in the right direction,
okay?
You can tell this is a man.
He knows where he's going.
He's providing for himself.
He's doing the work he has to do.
And he comes to his father and says,
Father, there's someone that I've been praying about.
And the father will sit there and go,
maybe evaluate everything his son's become and say,
Son, at least at this moment on your
behalf, I can say you have become a
man.
And I can see the virtue in you,
the leadership in you, barring all unforeseen difficulties,
maybe you can pursue this.
Or the father might say, Son, listen, you're
still undisciplined.
You're still tied down too much to the
family, too dependent.
You haven't left in the sense of becoming
an independent and strong individual.
Son, it's not time.
And what should you do, young man?
You would do wise to submit.
You see, here's the great problem.
Young guys have all this, let's say they're
18 years old, they have all this desire,
they want to, you know, maybe have a
relationship with a young lady and things like
that, but they haven't been willing to pay
the dues.
See, you always want to dance without paying
the fiddler.
You say, I want to do man things
without having to become a man.
You can't do that.
If you're going to do man things, you
have to become a man.
And that is a long, hard process.
And the sooner you start on the path,
the better.
And Dad, you ought to be encouraging him
to start on the path the moment they're
born.
It's just like I was sharing the other
day.
I make bows and I make arrows and
I love to hunt.
And my son has a bow.
He's four years old.
He goes out and shoots with me.
His arrows have little field points on them
that will go through a bag, but really
nothing else.
I have broadheads.
They're very, very heavy, very sharp.
They're so sharp on my arrows that you
have to use a wrench to put them
on because you don't even want to touch
them.
My little boy cannot hunt like a man
because he can't handle those things that make
hunting so extremely dangerous.
One day he will use the same type
of tools I use because he's proven that
he has the manhood to do it.
But until he reaches that point, he can't
play that game.
The problem with most of you young men
is you want to play the game, but
you don't want to pay the price to
become men.
You can't do it one way or the
other.
And especially when you have your eye on
the daughter of a man.
A man who has poured his life into
that girl.
And you think you're going to come along
and just snatch her up?
No way.
I was sitting there.
I go to a church that I really
don't have a lot in common with right
now, but the Lord has me there and
I'll stay there.
But I went to a funeral of some
grandparents of some very godly people in our
church.
And I was standing out there and they
have two daughters, beautiful daughters.
I was standing out there after the funeral
and I was just watching and the girls
came out and they were crying.
And I noticed some boys from the youth
from the youth group.
And they walked over there to them and
they put their arm around the girl and
patted her on the shoulder and consoling her.
And they were acting like the men who
were going to console the crying girls and
everything.
And when the girls walked away, I went
up to those boys and I said, don't
you ever do that again in my presence.
Don't you ever do that again.
You have no right to fulfill the role
of a father to console those girls.
You have not made a commitment to those
girls.
Those girls do not belong to you.
You do not belong to them.
You are little boys.
You know nothing about consoling anyone.
Don't ever do that again.
You say, man, that Paul Washer, I thought
he was crazy, but he really is.
No, I'm right.
They have no right to do that.
It is not their place.
They have not earned that place.
God has not given them that place.
In the same way that the devil stepped
outside of his place, his domain of authority,
so they stepped out of theirs.
And they were just wanting to get a
hug anyways.
That girl has nothing to do with you.
She doesn't.
Now let's see this perfect case scenario.
The young man is a godly man.
The father confirms it.
He's shown himself to be a man.
He's worked hard.
The father is proud of what God has
done.
Maybe the father might even go and call
in the elders, just to be doubly sure.
And the elders talk about it.
Yes, this fine young man, yes.
But then he might say, and father, this
is the girl.
And the father might say, son, no.
Now, here's something young person.
When your father says no, it's not God's
will, he's not saying no, never.
He's probably saying, son, I can't tell you
that she's not God's will for your life.
But I can tell you in her present
state, she is not.
And if you truly believe that she's God's
will for your life, you need to wait
because she's not ready.
Maybe she's a godly girl.
She's just young.
Maybe she's got some problems that would be
detrimental to the marriage.
If your father says, wait, here's where we're
going to believe whether or not you think
God's sovereign.
Because if you say, no, dad, I'm going
to do what I think God will do,
you're saying God is not sovereign and I'm
going to have to bust outside of the
authority He's placed over me in order to
get the job done.
I was 30 years old when I asked
for Charo's hand in marriage.
Her father said no.
Because he was an unbeliever and he wanted
her to go back to Spain and did
not want her marrying some poor missionary running
around in the jungle.
He said no.
He was 5,000 miles away.
He couldn't do anything.
He said no.
And you know what Charo and I did?
We submitted to him.
I was 30, director of a mission organization,
been around the world twice.
He said no.
I said okay.
And I bowed my knee and I said,
Father, if this passion you've placed in my
heart for her is true, are you not
the God who moves the hearts of kings?
Six months later, he calls up and says,
you can marry the guy.
Why?
Why the change of heart?
Never in my wildest dreams did I think
a man would ask for your hand in
marriage.
And when I said no, that he would
actually submit.
There can't be another man like that on
the planet.
Marry him.
You see?
Yes, respect.
But let's say, perfect case scenario, you tell
your dad this is the girl and he
goes, son, she's grown to be a fine
woman.
Fine woman.
Pray about it.
Seems to be the case.
Now, guys, you don't go send your best
friend to talk to her best friend because
it just means you're a little coward in
diapers.
Okay?
You are a coward.
Just write it out.
Coward.
Wear it on your back.
That's what you are.
Because you're saying, and you're proud because you're
not willing to face rejection.
She might say, no.
Alright, even if you are brave, you don't
go talk to her.
You don't.
Why?
I'll give you an example.
It is October 1st, 2006, which is a
holy day.
Did you know that?
It's the first day of deer season in
Illinois.
Alright?
And I'm excited.
I'm up.
I haven't even gone to bed.
I've been sitting out in the snow since
midnight with my bow, just waiting to go.
Alright?
Well, I come outside.
It's 4 o'clock in the morning.
I'm excited.
I'm going to go hunt up on Reepy
Farm.
So I go out to that old beat
up truck of mine.
And it's gone.
And I'm mad.
I mean, I'm real mad.
Someone's got my truck.
I'm not going deer hunting.
I'm madder than a hornet.
And I'm just pacing back and forth out
there in the driveway until about 9.30
in the morning.
And you, you little boy, you come driving
up in my car, my truck.
And you jump out the door and you
throw me the keys and say, thanks Mr.
Washer.
Enjoyed using your truck.
I got a place behind the barn where
I've buried several young men like you.
I'm going to be speechless.
I'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to be...
That would be wrong.
Would you do that?
Yet you would go take a man's daughter.
You would take a man's daughter without his
knowledge of it.
You'd start drawing near to a man's daughter
without his knowledge of it.
What a disgrace.
I'm not talking about asking her out.
I'm talking about just drawing near and trying
to get closer and closer to search out
the...
You have no right to do that.
None.
So what do you do?
You do what a man does.
Go to her father.
You say, sir, I've been praying about you.
That's the best way to say it.
I've been praying about you.
Don't say I'm interested in your daughter or
your daughter really looks fine because he's going
to rip your head off.
I mean, at least try to look spiritual,
okay?
I've been praying about your daughter.
And the dad will probably say, she doesn't
need a servant.
No, it's for something else.
But I've been praying about your daughter.
If he looks at you and says no,
the answer is no.
You trust God.
And if he says no and you say
why, you've already proved why he said no
because you don't need to know why.
He said no.
But...
And he has that right.
He has that right just to look at
you and say no.
But he doesn't have the right to look
at you and say yes.
If he looks at you and says no,
it's no.
But if he looks at you and he
thinks, you know, he's seen your life and
thinks you'd be a great candidate, he's not
going to tell you yes.
Here's what he's going to do.
And fathers, listen.
And look at that young man and say,
I'll pray about it.
You don't say, I'm going to go talk
to my daughter.
You say, I'll pray about it.
Why?
You're going to see in a moment.
So you go back and you talk to
your daughter.
If you feel like this guy is really
a possibility, you go talk to your daughter.
Now at the mention of his name, she
throws up, he's probably not the guy.
And if she says no, no, daddy, no,
please, daddy, no, no, no, daddy.
Then, daddy, you tell her to pray about
it for a couple of weeks.
And after a couple of weeks, she says,
no, daddy, no, no, no, no, no.
Then you go back to that young man
and this is what you tell him.
You don't tell him, I talked to my
daughter and she said no.
Why?
Sir, it is your job to see to
it that your daughter never comes into a
conflicting situation with another man.
Any man that wants to address your daughter
with questions that are that important, they don't
address her, they address you.
Your job is to protect her.
That young man is not to walk out
there thinking, well, that girl, who does she
think he is?
No, it has nothing to do with the
girl.
You protect your daughter.
If she says no, you go back to
that young man and say, young man, I've
prayed about it and the answer is no.
Now, young man, I'm always open to the
will of God.
Pray about it for six more months or
whatever.
Come back, talk to me, that will be
fine.
I'm open to anything, but right now the
answer is no.
But if the father thinks he's a pretty
good candidate and everything and goes over and
talks to the girl and says, you know,
so-and-so just came and she falls
down and starts screaming out hallelujah, you know
that maybe God's working.
Then what happens?
Then the parents get together.
To do what?
To set out parameters.
I've gone over my time.
What should I do?
Okay, okay.
Those old carnal people that arrived late can
just sit back there.
Tell them to come on in.
They're about to turn blue back there.
You can tell them to come in if
you want.
This is just so...
Is this okay?
The pastor knows karate.
I'm not going to get beat up, am
I?
Okay.
If she says yes, then the parents come
together prayerfully rejoicing and seek to establish parameters.
Okay?
Seek to establish parameters.
Now what am I talking about about seeking
to establish parameters?
It has to do with this.
This is so extremely important.
You listen to me.
It is true.
It never fails.
I'm going to show you something that if
you do not obey, you are going to
suffer like you cannot believe.
And that's all there is to it.
You are going to suffer like you cannot
believe if you do not obey this because
it is Scripture.
Parents, listen to me.
And you listen very, very, very well to
what I'm about to say.
Because it never fails.
It is true.
It always is true.
Always has been true.
Always will be true.
And it will be true with your daughter.
And it will be true with your son.
Your wife said I could keep going, so
she's wrong.
She's the one who told me I could
keep going.
Here it is.
Now listen to me.
Ephesians chapter 6 says that we fight not
against flesh and blood, we wrestle not with
flesh and blood, but we wrestle against powers
and principalities and mites and dominions, right?
Alright.
The context there, the Greek verbiage there, all
of it indicates that the believer is in
a hand-to-hand, face-to-face combat
with the devil.
The believer is not supposed to run.
He's not supposed to flee.
He's to resist the devil.
And he's promised in James chapter 4 that
if he does resist the devil, the devil
will flee from him.
Okay?
Do you understand that?
That's what the Bible says.
That you are commanded, you are more than
allowed, you are commanded to enter in to
a face-to-face, hand-to-hand combat
with the devil, fight him, and it is
promised to you that he will resist you.
Okay?
But then, over in 2 Timothy chapter 2,
it tells the same person to run with
terrifying fear from youthful lust.
Now think about that.
You're allowed to go hand-to-hand, face
-to-face combat with the devil, but the
youthful lust inside of you, young person, you're
to run from it as something worse than
the devil himself.
Now, write this down as a rule.
If two people, young, even old, if two
people of the opposite sex spend any time,
any time, any extended period alone together, they're
going to fall into immorality.
I've had parents tell me, not my daughter,
not my son, no, it's going to happen.
It's going to happen.
It probably already has with some of you.
And you know it's true.
Your heart's looking down at this moment.
You know it's true.
I had one of the finest young men
I know who's in seminary right now, and
he had a fiancée, and she was just
as godly as he was, but typical, raised
in a typical sort of way, not knowing
anything about these kind of things, and he
came into my office.
He's a man's man.
He came into my office, and he burst
out in tears, and I said, son, what
is wrong?
And he said, you know I want to
be godly, and my fiancée, we want to
be missionaries.
We're reading the Bible.
We're fasting, and we're praying, but sometimes when
I take her home from church or when
we go out to get a bite to
eat or sometimes when we're in a place
and we're by ourselves, well, things will happen,
and then after they happen, then I just
feel horrible, and I want to die, and
she wants to die, and we don't know
how to overcome it.
I mean, it's so powerful, and yet we...
I said, what do your counselors tell you
to do at your church?
What does your leadership say?
He said, well, they say that, you know,
it's really difficult, and well, we need to
pray and fast, and this is a difficult
time.
I said, you go back to them, and
you use my name.
You tell them to stop counseling young people.
Stop it.
Tell them to call me on the phone.
Use my name.
I know who they are, and they know
me.
Most ignorant thing I've ever heard in my
life.
Do you think you can actually pray to
be filled with the Holy Spirit in order
to give you enough power to rob a
bank?
My dear friend, God makes no promises of
giving you enough spiritual strength and moral fortitude
to resist being alone with someone of the
opposite sex with whom you're not married.
He never gives you that promise, and He's
not going to give you that promise, because
He's already told you what to do.
Run.
You are never to be alone with someone
of the opposite sex with whom you have
a romantic interest because you are going to
fall.
Even in courtship, you are not to be
alone.
Now, a lot of you think I'm absolutely
out of my mind, and a lot of
you who think that, you've already fallen, and
you will.
It's a biblical truth.
You just can't do it.
You can't...
What would happen...
Okay, let's just...
Alright, I'm preaching here, okay?
I'm preaching.
Okay, but let's just say that I have...
Instead of a hotel room, I have a
little, you know, not only a hotel room,
but one of those little hotel rooms where
they also have a little kitchenette in it
and everything, you know?
And let's say that the pastor pulls up,
you know, on Thursday to pick me up,
and I say, Pastor, I'm really not done
right now.
Just come on up, though.
So the pastor comes on up to the
room, opens the door, walks in, and I'm
making cookies there in the little kitchenette with
a very beautiful single woman from this church.
Okay?
What's going to be the pastor's reaction after
he picks his jaw off of the floor?
What's going to be his reaction?
He's not even going to let me preach
that night.
The meetings are over.
And rightly so.
The meetings are over.
He's going to say, Are you out of
your mind?
I say, What are you talking about?
We're making cookies.
Are you out of your cotton pick?
What are you doing?
Pastor, look, we're making cookies.
I've got this apron on.
There they are, the Walmart cookies, the cheap
ones, but they really taste good.
There they are.
I mean, we're making cookies.
He's just almost...
His head's going to blow off.
He's going to be so mad.
He's going to call the deacons, the leaders,
the elders of the church, and he's going
to say, You know what?
We've got to explain this to the church.
Aren't you?
We're going to cancel the meetings.
Now, I want you to look at something.
I am 44 years old.
I'm the director of a mission organization.
I have a beautiful wife and two children
that I love.
I've got a lot more to lose than
a 16-year-old boy, don't you think?
Not only that, I've been walking with Jesus
Christ for 23 years.
I've probably got a little bit more sense
than a 16-year-old boy.
If I fall into sin, I am going
to lose my wife.
I am going to lose my two boys.
I am going to lose the ministry.
85 missionary families who are being supported are
probably not going to get supported next month
and their children are going to go hungry.
I've got a lot to lose.
And yet, you're going to look at me
and say, Paul, there's no way you ought
to be alone.
And yet, you'll let your little 16-year
-old, who has no moral fortitude, very little
Scripture, very little Bible, go out with a
15-year-old, and then you're just all
confused.
I don't know what went wrong.
That's what went wrong.
It went wrong.
Because they can't.
Now, I want to be careful here because
I want you to realize that there are
things that youth can share together, things that
youth can do together, things like that.
I mean, controlled and things like that.
But what I'm talking about, if you let
two people enter into a romantic relationship, young,
that are not married together, and they start
spending a lot of time alone, they are
going to fall.
It's not a case of if.
It is only a case of when.
It's going to happen.
And so then you have to ask yourself
the question, what kind of parameters do we
set to protect our children?
Have you ever heard of a parlor?
Do you know what a parlor is?
Do you know that's the specific purpose of
a parlor?
Did you know that?
A parlor was a room in the house,
kind of set off a little bit, and
it had a big, usually it didn't have
doors, just had a big open space like
this.
Do you know what they're for?
It's for a young couple who are in
courtship.
They can sit there, they can talk, can
share things, but even there ought to be
parameters there.
Share things, talk, discuss, get to know one
another, all sorts of things.
But it's safe because just when you least
expect it, Dad passes by with a 12
-gauge shotgun and dressed in camouflage.
The thing that I'm trying to say is,
now look, remember what I said, there are
just some principles.
We can make all kinds of rules and
tighten this thing up, but they're really not
biblical.
There's just some principles here that are very
important.
One of them is submission to parents, godly
parents.
Another thing is to set parameters so that
when the couple that are interested in one
another, that are courting, actually courting, are spending
time together, there are parameters built.
And, listen to this parent, I want to
tell you something, there are other parents that
will betray you.
They will.
I've seen it happen where a few parents
think that, well, this is ridiculous.
And so what they'll do is say, well,
why don't you let both of them come
with us?
We're going to go out tonight to a
certain place.
And then they'll walk over there and say,
look, I know that you guys never can
do anything together.
Just go on, go on.
I'll cover for you.
I know parents that do that.
Wicked people.
You say, this is absolutely ridiculous.
No, what's absolutely ridiculous is 50% divorce
rate among people who identify themselves with Christians.
Another thing, very, very important, you cannot enter
in, young person, listen to me, the average
church person, young person, has five major relationships
with five different people before they ever marry.
Even if there is no physical contact, it
still will be very detrimental to their future
marriage.
Because they've given five pieces of themselves away
already.
And young men, listen, this is what I'm
telling you, you have no right to share
certain things with a girl that you're not
going to marry.
You have no right to share certain experiences
with her because you are the first one
to share that experience with her when it
should be her husband.
You're robbing him.
I know that this is very unorthodox.
I'm very sorry.
But please understand this.
I'm trying to save your life.
It is not a question of if you
can be spiritual enough to resist alone.
Because God says you can't.
It is build parameters so that you can
get to know one another without ever being
so alone that you're not checked up on.
Okay?
Extremely important.
Extremely.
Just from young people.
Are there any questions just really quick about
what I've said?
From young people.
Any questions?
All right, we'll go to the Lord in
prayer.
Father, I come before You and I ask,
Lord, that You would help.
Help us, Lord.
In Jesus' name.