Hello, this is Brother Denny.
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Lovely choice of songs.
Powerful words.
Everybody's tummy full?
If it's not, it's your own fault.
Well, I get the privilege tonight to introduce
the guest speaker.
And I call it a privilege because it's
not just a guest speaker, it's a friend
and a neighbor.
When Mark and Ann moved to the area,
I sort of selfishly found them a house
a mile away from our house.
I mean, it did open up and I
thank the Lord for that.
And I know that God has something wonderful
for all of us.
And I'm coming to Him tonight with my
cup held up.
And with an open heart.
I guess I could say I told Rhoda
this week we had breakfast and I said
that I believe from last Friday to this
Friday that I have had the most emotionally
traumatic week of ministry that I've ever had
in 22 years.
Catching tears, moaning, wailing with people that were
hurting.
So I'm coming perhaps in a different position
than you are.
But I know that there's lots of different
positions across the room.
Probably no two that are alike.
So I'm very much looking forward to hear
what the Lord has given Ann.
Ann comes to us as a sister who
was a single mother for a painful season
of life.
And she's going to share with us some
of the gems that the Lord has given
to her under the title of Hope and
Help for Single Moms.
Is anyone else sitting here feeling pampered?
This has just been so delightful.
You know, I was sitting there thinking, I
wonder how it would have been if I'd
have had an opportunity to sit in an
evening like this through our hard years.
My heart goes out to how you may
be feeling.
You know, as I have pondered this evening,
memories have just washed up and washed up
and washed up.
My mind has been so full of the
memories.
It didn't seem like it hit my heart.
I was saying, Lord, can I stand in
front of these ladies with a heart of
compassion if I can't feel anymore?
The pain is so gone.
And I praise Him for that.
But I wanted to feel your pain.
It seemed like the Lord was saying, well,
I'm supposed to come with hope tonight, not
with sympathy.
And that was okay.
But you know, as we stood out here
and you were coming, it began to hit
my heart.
And even as Jackie was doing an introduction,
I thought, I remember how introductions were in
those years.
Oh, I didn't mind telling someone I was
Ann Brubaker, but I just sort of cringed
at what was coming next.
You know, they're going to say, oh, so
you're married?
And what's your husband's name?
Well, yes, I'm married, but he doesn't love
me anymore.
You know, that's awkward.
And just all those memories.
But I come to you tonight with a
husband that does love me extravagantly.
You know, I ask him, Mark, can I
tell the ladies that you love me extravagantly?
And he gave me a squeeze and he
said, well, if you can't find a word
to say it any better than that, I
guess that'll do.
And that's the way it is.
But it hasn't always been that way.
And that's why I'm here tonight.
I hope to give you hope.
We just sang, the girls just sang, but
I had in mind to sing together the
chorus Spirit of the Living God.
Do we know it?
Enough of us know it to sing it?
And let's sing, Spirit of the Living God,
fall afresh on us.
I know, I feel like I need it
desperately, and maybe you do too.
So let's sing, fall afresh on us, together,
and then we'll pray.
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on
us.
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh
on us.
Melt us, mold us, fill us,
use us.
Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh
on us.
Let's pray.
Father, we come to you tonight as our
God of hope, for you are that.
Lord, you know the whole insides of every
heart here tonight.
I don't, Lord.
I do know what it feels like to
have a chunk of lead where your heart's
supposed to be.
I do know what it feels like to
be hollow and raw and just that empty
feeling inside that just stays.
Father, perhaps there's those feelings here tonight, some
who are smiling on the outside, but just
crying on the inside.
Lord, we come to you as a God
of hope.
Would you minister to us tonight with your
sweet spirit, with your hope.
Father, you know it all.
I praise you for who you are and
what you've done and what you can do
if we'll obey your principles.
Lord, I just come with my heart so
full tonight.
Would you help me somehow to be able
to make sense out of what I want
to say and what I want to share
here that someone could go away from here
tonight with a new vision, with more hope
in their heart for their circumstances right where
they are.
Father, break me, break us, melt us, mold
us, fill us, Father, so that you can
use us for your glory.
You're worthy, Father, you're worthy.
I ask it in Jesus' name, amen.
Well, like I said, it hasn't always been
for me the way it is now.
And I know that there's all kinds of
different situations here tonight.
Maybe for some of you there is no
hope for a reconciled marriage.
So I'm not going to talk tonight about
hope in a new marriage, how to save
your marriage alone, how to win your man,
those are a topic all themselves.
But tonight I want to give you hope
in the circumstances that you are in right
now.
And you may say, well, you know, that's
easy for you to talk about.
Things have worked out well for you.
And that's true, and I grant that.
But I would like to tell you that
I know what it's like to stand at
the bottom of the stairs and need to
be at the top and just not have
the mental, physical, emotional energy that it takes
to get there.
I've been there, but I also know what
it is to choose to believe God for
my husband, to choose forgiveness and love and
perseverance and contentment right in the middle of
it.
By God's grace, I want you to get
a hold tonight of the fact that it's
possible.
It is possible to live a life full
of hope right in the midst of the
circumstances, whatever they are.
You can walk in victory.
That's what I want to portray tonight, if
I possibly can.
I will share some of our testimony just
because I want you to understand that I
do understand somewhat, perhaps, that I have a
right to stand here and say some of
the things that I would like to say
tonight.
It's difficult to share for Mark's sake.
You know, Mark is walking in grace.
He is walking in the forgiveness of God
and soaring with God in his life.
But shame is still shame, and regret is
still regret.
And I hate the feeling that anybody would
go out of here tonight and have less
respect for him than you once did.
So I just ask you, in the hearing,
if you would please extend grace and forgiveness.
It's not difficult for my sake.
Like I said as I pondered this, the
memories just flooded back, and I just marveled
at what God has done, and I marveled
that there was no pain.
Just no pain anymore.
And that's the first little seed that I
would like to drop onto your hearts tonight.
I don't know if you can read these,
but the first one says, God heals.
Do you believe that?
Do you believe that tonight, that God is
a healer and he really can heal your
hurts in the midst of where you are
right now?
Luke 18.27 says that what's impossible with
man is possible with God.
And we can choose to believe that.
Mark and I agreed together when it began
to look like that maybe we were going
to be able to reconcile that God was
going to take an impossible situation and bring
us back together again.
We agreed that we were not going to
waste our experience.
God had been too good to us.
We started out our marriage very good.
I would have at one point told you
that marriage was a little heaven on earth,
and it was for us.
But gradually, through many events, our relationship began
to crumble.
Our communication completely cut off.
We had rented a farm, and we were
all there together working together, and we had
some drought years, and we came into some
financial challenges.
And then the landlords decided to sell the
farm, and we couldn't buy it.
So that meant Mark had to go to
work, and that was very difficult for me.
And I didn't handle it well.
He went to work as a teacher in
our church school there, and you might think
that sounds like a good idea, and it
was.
But on the heels of giving up our
family farm life, going to work with seven
women was very hard for me, and I
was jealous.
And Mark knew it, and the devil used
that tremendously.
Following that, after that school year, he was
hired as a manager in a business.
And then the devil really had a heyday.
You know, popularity, and position, and power, and
money, and a personal secretary, and inevitable fall.
And so our lives just crumbled fairly quickly.
What was a little heaven on earth kind
of became a little hell on earth, and
maybe some of you can relate with that.
I would go to him to the door
every morning early, meet him at the door
every night late, and it got earlier in
the morning, and later at night I went
into denial.
Maybe some of you understand that.
I covered for him.
I excused him to the children.
But there came a morning.
It was a Mother's Day, a Saturday morning,
and I had wakened and rolled over against
him in an effort to be warm.
He was very cold and unresponsive, and I
don't know what the conversation was until the
statement.
And he said, Ann, I just don't love
you anymore.
There is someone else.
And I remember my first thought was, I
don't dare move an inch or he's going
to think I'm rejecting him.
And that's seed number two that I have
up here.
Rejection is out.
Forgiveness is in.
By God's grace, I chose to forgive immediately.
I don't say that boasting.
I say I'm nobody extraordinary.
We have an extraordinary God, and you can
too.
You can choose to forgive in the midst
of your pain.
Mark 11.25 says, When you stand praying,
forgive, that your Father in Heaven can forgive
you.
We all need forgiveness.
And if we're going to get forgiveness from
God, we're going to have to give forgiveness.
We need to forgive ourselves.
We need to forgive Him.
Miserable year after miserable year followed.
And he lost that job, of course, because
of the relationship.
Took a job out of state.
Some years later, started building a construction job
of his own.
He was in and out of our home
some, not there a lot.
Year after year after year, our children grew
up in basically a dysfunctional home.
At the time that this started, Rebecca was
11.
Jenny was 9.
And we had three sons.
They'd have been 6 and 4.
Actually, I was carrying Rick, our youngest, at
the time things began to crumble.
I don't know how much to share.
I just want you to know I understand.
One day the phone rang.
There was a woman's voice on the other
end, and she said, Are you Mark's wife?
And I said, I am.
And she said, Well, I just thought maybe
you ought to know I'm in a relationship
with your husband.
I said, Could we meet?
And I met with that woman.
We had tea, and I talked to her
about my love for Mark.
And my forgiveness for her.
And she thought it was crazy.
She said, When men get on a roll
like this, they never get over it.
And I said, Oh, but you don't know
my God.
And I talked to her about my God.
And when we parted that day, she still
thought it was crazy, I'm sure.
But, you know, there is no choice but
to choose love.
Matthew 5 says, To do good to those
that hate us.
To love our enemies.
To respond with good to evil.
That's God's heart.
And that must be our heart.
Bitterness is out.
Number 3 over here.
Bitterness is out.
Love is in.
The next seed that I would love to
fall into your hearts tonight, and take root
and bring forth hope for your lives, is
the reality of the necessity of love.
We cannot be bitter.
I don't know what your temptations are to
be bitter.
Perhaps it's that God.
Perhaps it has a husband or a man
or a woman who stole your man or
your children.
But bitterness just isn't an option.
You know, you may be thinking, Well, you
don't know what I've been through.
I mean, how are you supposed to not
get bitter?
If we would think tonight about one person
who had a right to get bitter, I
would guess we would all come up with
Jesus.
You know, everybody he had poured his life
into just ran away and hid right when
he needed them the worst.
And he wasn't bitter.
Even his father turned his face away from
him for sin he didn't even commit.
And he wasn't bitter.
He said, Father, forgive them.
That's Christ-like love.
And that's the kind of love that I
would like to encourage you that you can
get a hold of, even in the midst
of your circumstances, before anything heals for you,
if nothing ever heals for you.
We can get a hold of that Christ
-like love.
It's possible.
You know, bitterness is sin.
If we look bitterness full in the face,
we need to recognize that it's sin and
we just may not choose it.
Bitterness will eat your soul.
It will eat the souls of our children.
It puts us into a self-made cage
and we're in bondage to it.
It's just not even an option.
We must choose love.
Jesus not only said, Father, forgive them, but
he said, Father, forgive them.
They don't know what they're doing.
He was that forgiving.
He just assumed the best.
And you might say, yeah, well, he knew
what he was doing.
Your husband or maybe the man that has
hurt you.
Maybe.
You know, I remember.
I remember that feeling.
I remember talking to a woman one time
and I was struggling.
I said, it's just not fair.
He's out there having fun and here the
children and I sit.
She said, oh, Ann, don't go there.
She said, Ann, in the position he's in,
he's on his way to hell.
And here you sit, safe in the arms
of Jesus.
How can you be bitter about something like
that?
And I don't know if you're struggling with
bitterness towards anyone, but if you are, ponder
that.
Where are they with God?
And where are you with God?
And do you really, is there really any
room to be bitter?
You know, the whole time in the middle
of all this mess, I just thought, surely
some way in this, something good is going
to come out of this.
I'll grow.
Someone else will be helped.
God will be glorified, surely.
And if you can keep that in mind,
ladies, that something good can come out of
it because God promises that he'll work all
things together for good.
We just need to believe him.
Another seed, before we get into just some
practical helps, and that is perseverance.
And that's the last one over here.
Give up is not an option.
Galatians 6 says, be not weary in well
-doing, for you shall reap in due season
if you faint not.
And that is so true.
I know the temptation to give up.
One day I was talking to my daddy
on the telephone, and I said, Daddy, I
just give up.
I'm just going to give up.
And bless his heart, he was so wise.
He said to me, Okay, Ann, give up.
Now what are you going to do?
And that's so wise.
So wise.
You know, if we slide down oiled walls,
when we get to the bottom, there's nothing
to do but climb back up the same
oiled walls.
There's just not a point in giving up.
So, believing God, choosing forgiveness, choosing love, choosing
to persevere, if we can get those things
settled in our hearts in the middle of
these hard years, they will bear fruit, and
it will give you hope to go on
in the middle of your circumstances.
I'd like to look at some practical helps
for sowing these seeds.
Number one, you need to lay aside your
expectations and live in reality.
I'm assuming this evening that there really is
no hope for you.
I'm going to assume that for the most
of you here, there's not any more opportunity
for you to be that loving, perfect little
wife you always dreamed of.
Or to have that sturdy, solid, godly husband
that you dreamed of.
To have that home, that godly home.
I'm assuming that there's just not any hope
for most of you.
And if there is, a lot of what
I want to say can really be a
blessing to you.
But if there is not, then there's something
you need to do.
And that is to lay aside that vision
and get a new vision.
Take on eyes for a new vision.
By God's grace, because today you're a single
mother.
Tomorrow, you're going to be a single mother.
And probably, for a long time, you'll be
a single mother.
So to live in some kind of a
false expectation of something that cannot be, is
going to hinder you.
To live in a false hope, you're going
to miss what God could do in you.
Or what He could do through you for
the kingdom.
Or what He could do in your children.
You hinder your productivity for Christ.
And you might ask, Well, how can I
have hope in the middle of a life
that is so full of pain, and betrayal,
and disappointment?
Let's look at contentment a little bit.
You know, in Philippians 4, Paul says, I
have learned whatsoever state I am in, therewith
to be content.
And if I remember right, Paul is in
chains.
In a dungeon.
Probably not exactly the fulfillment of his expectations
for life.
And he says, I have learned whatsoever state
I am in, therewith to be content.
Content?
You think, how can I be content in
this mess that my life is?
Let me suggest two ways.
One, accept, believe, and choose that God is
your all in all.
And two, remind yourself often that happiness is
not in circumstances.
Now those sound like real pat statements, I
know.
But may I testify to you that it's
possible?
You know, I know how it is to
wake up and face a day and just
say, What's the point in getting up?
The evening looks so far away.
But I also know that with some effort,
I know what it takes to choose a
better way.
And that is to say, God, this bed
is so empty, and my pain is so
deep, but I am going to choose to
believe your promises today.
Just for one day at a time.
I'm going to choose to believe that when
you say that you'll not give me more
than I can bear, but will with it
make a way of escape, I'm going to
believe, Lord, that you're going to help me
bear it today.
That's the way I'm going to go through
today.
I'm going to believe you when you say
your grace is sufficient.
I need a lot of sufficiency today, but
I believe you, your grace is sufficient.
I believe you when you say that when
you're weak, I'll be your strength.
Lord, you be my strength today.
I'm going to believe you that when the
waters are deep, you said you'll be with
me.
Analyze yourself.
How are you doing with your deep waters?
Are you just barely treading water with your
nose barely out, you know, and almost drowning?
Or are you standing on the promises, living
a life of victory, walking in hope?
You know, Jesus will love you either way.
He will.
But can I plead with you to choose
the better?
Choose to walk a life of victory in
the middle of your circumstances.
Look around you.
There are lots of women right here who
understand your heart, who need your ministry.
They need to know how you've gotten victory
in your particular circumstance.
They need to know how you prayed.
Pray with them.
If you will focus on others and not
on yourself and your hurts and your children,
you really can live a life full of
hope with a vision like that.
You will have hope, I promise you.
It's possible.
There's a second way to get a hold
of hope in these circumstances, and I just
love this one.
Remember that you are one part in a
two-part relationship.
And I'm not talking about a husband.
I'm talking about God.
Some of us here know, maybe better than
some others, how important it is for love
to flow both ways.
Well, God is one part of your relationship,
and He's done His part.
He loves you.
Now, are you willing to do your part
to make that a loving, strong, growing, flowing
relationship?
You know, I can relate with the sense
of failure.
I mean, when a woman can't even keep
her husband faithful to her, that pretty well
shoots your confidence.
But we have to get a hold of
this love relationship and see ourselves as our
lover sees us.
We have to agree with God.
You know, when you were in your mother's
womb, God looked down and He said, My
perfect creation, I love her.
It's good.
It's very good.
She's beautiful.
Now, I don't know if very many of
you can stand in front of the mirror
and say, Good morning, beautiful.
You know, maybe that doesn't come real easy
for you.
And I don't mean it in a silly,
prideful way, but I mean, you need to
accept yourself.
You are beautiful.
You're beautiful to God.
He believes it.
Can you believe it?
Accept yourself the way He is.
Now, look at yourself.
Two eyes, pretty normal nose, you know, decent
complexion.
Accept yourself.
He does.
Can you?
In this love relationship, it must flow both
ways.
So instead of looking at yourself and figuring,
what's the use?
To that feeling, you need to say, Get
thee behind me, Satan.
You're an offense to me.
And rather, look at yourself and say, God
loves me.
And I love Him.
So today, I'm going to walk for my
lover.
So I'm going to comb my hair.
I'm going to use a little hairspray, so
I don't get all spraggly till evening.
I'm going to use a clean smelling soap,
so I'm nice.
I'm going to dress modestly, but in an
attractive and a quiet way, because I'm beautiful.
I'm the Lord's, and He's with me today.
And what's more, this evening, when I get
to the end of my day, I'm going
to go to bed, and I'm going to
say, God, my heavenly lover, did I please
you today?
I wanted to.
Did I honor your name?
Did I glorify you at all today?
It's my desire.
And I know, you don't have a warm
body there.
You don't have arms around you to affirm
you that yes, you pleased Him.
But I promise you, you can feel a
sweet flow of fellowship.
You can feel the blessing of having walked
with God.
And it's so much better than that defeated,
hopeless feeling at the end of the day,
and starting the next one that way.
This is reality.
I'm just encouraging you that since your life
is not measuring up to your expectations, live
in the reality that you have.
And this is reality.
God is doing His part.
Are you?
You can.
There's a third reason why you need to
live a life full of hope, and that's
for your children.
This is a very real and weighty one.
That is for your children.
If you have girls, they need to learn
how to walk with joy, with hope, vital,
so that someday they can be the wife
you always dreamed to be.
They can fulfill a man and be fulfilled.
If you have boys, you need to set
before them a vision, so that they have
something to work for, something to fill.
Mamas, you stand between your children and success
or failure.
You're the link between your children and their
future.
I know what it's like to feel like,
why bother with the cleaning?
Why bother with the cooking?
Well, if you don't teach your children, who's
going to?
Can you get a vision of setting them
on a course that will take them where
you had hopes of going, not down the
same road where life has taken you?
You know, I remember.
I mean, children like boxed mac and cheese,
right?
And hot dogs?
They just kind of come to the table
and eat and leave.
No, let me rob you of that.
The scripture tells us, whatsoever we do, we
do heartily as unto a husband.
Right?
No, heartily as unto the Lord.
So, if you just throw boxed mac and
cheese on the table, you just threw boxed
mac and cheese on the table for the
Lord.
You know, if you feed your children hot
dogs five nights a week, you just fed
them hot dogs, or fed the Lord hot
dogs five nights a week, we dare not
just slop and slough through life, regardless what
our circumstances is.
There's reason to live with a purpose.
There is reason to have hope.
If you have, and you do, you're here
as single mothers, you have children.
There's much to hope for.
Train them up in the way that you
want them to go.
It's up to you, mothers.
You don't have to have devastated children.
You just don't have to.
Our son, Mickey, is 21 now.
When he was about 18 months old, Mark
started taking her out with him on the
farm.
He was with his daddy all the time.
He took his naps in the tractor, you
know, with his head bonking around all over
the place.
At five, he was driving skid steer and
pulling levers on the grain grinder.
He was with his daddy all the time.
They were best friends.
When Mark went to work and Mick came
in the house, I hardly knew the boy.
Through those hard years, I would not know
where Mickey was, and I'd go looking for
him, and maybe I'd find him laying behind
the couch or on his top bunk just
staring at the ceiling.
So hurt, so rejected, so lonely.
You know, kind of just left by his
best friend.
And we've done enough counseling to know that
this kind of thing can leave young men
and young women devastated.
Mickey's not a devastated young man.
He's a very godly young man, and I
know that I probably am a bit prejudiced,
but he's very normal.
He's very secure in his father's love for
him.
He has no problem giving and receiving love.
And one day he and I were sitting
talking before he left for Africa for six
months a few weeks ago, and I guess
we were probably talking about tonight, and I
was asking him to try to remember to
pray for me.
And I said, Mick, tell me why, after
the way you and Daddy were so close
and all that happened, why didn't you get
bitter?
Why did you never hate your daddy?
Why are you so normal?
Do you know?
Do you know why you're not a troubled
young man?
And he said, I do know, Mother.
And he said, I'll tell you, and you
need to tell the ladies.
You're not going to want to.
Mother, it was you.
And I said, oh no, Mick, it was
God.
And he said, I know it was God,
Mother, but you let God.
Sisters, don't miss that one.
You must let God love through you.
Believe God for your children.
Forgive.
Love.
Persevere.
Be content in the circumstances you're in.
Your children don't have to be devastated, because
life hasn't turned out for you the way
you wanted it to.
Our three oldest children, they would have been
the only ones, responded to God's call in
their lives in the middle of this mess.
You know, whether your children's daddy is your
husband or not, whether he's close and you
have a lot of contact with him or
not, whether you see nothing of him, perhaps
death has taken him, all of these things
are very important for you to continue pouring
into your children's lives so that they can
grow up normally.
And this next point I want to make
is very, very critical.
You may never say a negative word about
their daddy.
No fault-finding, no finger-pointing, no blame,
no criticism.
See, the Bible says that children should honor
their parents, honor their father, and that is
for your children.
They need to learn how to honor through
you.
You must be an example of honor.
If you don't honor him, probably they're not
going to, and what's more, they're probably not
going to honor you either.
You know, the children knew that I went
to the door with Mark every morning and
I met them there at night.
Every night, there was no kiss.
There was no glad to be home in
those times that I was able to do
that.
But they knew it.
They knew that I stayed up if there
was any chance, it didn't matter what hour
of the morning, that he would come home.
They knew when he was gone that if
he was maybe going to be home.
We changed our plans.
This is honor, sisters.
And if you can't honor your children's daddy
this way, in a touchable way, then it's
even more important that you do it in
word and in attitude.
Reverence and honor are a way of life.
You know, there was something I did through
those years that I didn't think was very
out of the ordinary at the time.
I think about it now and it's a
little strange.
But the children believed me.
The three oldest remember this clearly.
And they believed me.
I told them that we don't blame daddy.
We blame Satan.
Oh, we hate Satan.
We hate the sin that Satan is bringing
and what it's doing to our life.
But we love daddy.
We hate the devil.
But we just love daddy.
We always love daddy.
And I guess they thought he couldn't help
it.
I don't know.
They just believed me.
You know, I don't think that's even theologically
sound.
But it was a love saver in our
home.
You can do this.
It's possible to honor your children's daddy so
that they do and so that they honor
you.
To those of us who are married, to
those of you who are married, I trust
that you're committed to singlehood as there is
not any other God honoring option.
Remember that you made vows and they're on
record in heaven.
This is something that so propelled me on
through those years was the vision of the
fact that someday I was going to stand
before God.
And Mark was not going to be there
for me to point fingers at.
I would stand there alone.
And God was going to get his record.
Okay, Ann, I see here that on August
14, 1976, you made vows before me and
witnesses to love Mark, to honor him, respect
him, reverence him, for better or for worse
until you're parted by death.
And it was worse, wasn't it?
Much worse than you thought.
But well done, my good and faithful daughter.
You kept your vows.
Enter thou into the joys of thy Lord.
See, those vows are on record in heaven.
And just because he broke his didn't give
me any reason to break mine.
Use that to propel you on to continue
loving and honoring and reverencing if that is
your place.
Maybe you failed.
Maybe your children have heard you curse their
daddy.
Maybe they have heard you blame him.
You know, you can fix that.
You can remedy that tonight.
You can repent.
And you can go home and you can
talk to your children and confess and share
and bare your heart and weep and then
you can start over and honor your children
or your children's daddy or your husband.
There's a fourth reason why you need to
walk through life with purpose.
You know, this thing of walking with purpose,
you didn't wake up this morning because you
chose to.
God looked down and he looked at me
and he said, I believe there's a work
that Ann can do yet today.
I'll give her life.
And he did the same for you.
Find that purpose and fulfill it.
There is purpose for God, for your children.
And there's a fourth reason to walk with
purpose and with hope and that is this.
It may be that you are one of
a chain of generation after generation after generation
of broken homes, of pain like this.
Or it may be that you're the first
one.
Whichever it is, it needs to stop now.
And it can stop now.
In the name of Jesus, you can break
this chain and you can begin a new
generation.
You can make wise choices and change that
and your children can go on.
I have a few more practical lessons I'd
like to, or things I'd like to mention
here.
Do you know how to pray the scriptures?
Does anybody know what I mean when I
say pray the scriptures?
You know, when you're praying the scriptures for
someone, you can know you're praying God's will.
And what's more, it's pretty hard to be
bitter at someone when you're praying the scriptures.
I have a sheet of paper here that
has some scriptures on it that I like
to use.
You can put your husband's name, your children's
daddy's name, your name, your children's name.
Put it in the blank.
And let me just give you an example
here.
I might pray, I cease not to give
thanks for Mark, making mention of him in
my prayers, that the God of our Lord
Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, would give
to Mark the spirit of wisdom and revelation
in the knowledge of him, that the eyes
of Mark's understanding would be enlightened that he
may know him.
Take the scriptures and put a name in
there.
You'll find a real blessing as you pray
the scriptures.
You can know you're praying God's will that
way.
Another thing that you need to do is
spend time in the Word.
Spend a lot of time in the Word.
You see this orange paper?
It's kind of faded on the creases and
falling apart, and it's written all over.
This paper is a treasure to me.
It used to be a plain, nice, new
sheet of orange paper.
Aunt Jane, she wasn't my aunt.
She was Mark's brother's wife's aunt or something,
but we called her Aunt Jane.
She said to me one day, very soon
after Mark told me, I don't love you
anymore, she said, Ann, I have a couple
scriptures for you.
Write them down.
Jeremiah 33, 3.
She says it says, Call unto me, and
I will answer thee, and I will show
thee great and mighty things which thou knowest
not.
And Nehemiah 8, 10, For the joy of
the Lord is your strength.
You know what Aunt Jane was saying to
me?
She was saying, You can believe God.
You can believe God.
You can forgive.
You can love.
You can persevere.
You can be content in the situation you're
in, right in the middle of it.
Because God says that if you call unto
me, I will do great and mighty things.
You can believe him.
Spend a lot of time in the word.
Night after night, I would sit at the
island, one, two o'clock in the morning,
just poring over the word, and when I'd
find a gem, I'd write it down.
And then you've got this whole collection of
jewels here, and when you're really struggling, you
can just read them one by one.
Therefore I say unto you, Whatsoever things you
desire, when you ask in prayer, believing you'll
receive them, delight thyself in the Lord, and
he'll give you the desires of your heart.
The effectual prayer of a righteous man, availeth
much.
It's here, one right after the other, and
you can just be washed in encouragement that
way.
This paper has been a blessing to me.
Another thing I encourage you to do is
keep a journal.
Keep a journal of the ways in which
God gives you hope through these hard times.
You know, often we cry out to God,
and He answers.
One time I was sitting at the island,
and I said, Lord, if You're still aware
of what's going on in my life, could
You just let me know You're still there?
And it wasn't very many minutes, and there
was a knock at the door, and I
went to the door, and there stood my
daddy.
He had his hat in his hands, and
tears running down his cheek, and he said,
Ann, I was just going past the lane,
and I thought maybe you needed something.
And I wrote that down.
And you know, the times when you cry
out to the Lord like that, and He
chooses to be silent, then you can go
back to these things that you have in
your journal, and let them wash you again.
In fact, I know that among you, you
all have gems like that, and I would
like to ask you, before I get finished
here too, begin preparing your heart to share
if there's something God has done for you
that really, really boosted your hope for life
as you've gone through your trials.
Maybe you could share it with us tonight.
So be thinking about that.
Another thing God did for me, and I
have to share this one.
It was such a blessing.
One Saturday morning, it was at a time
Mark was home, and he was building his
business.
He was sitting down at the desk.
He had gone early.
Saturday mornings used to be so much fun
at our house.
We'd get the babies in bed with us,
and all the children would climb in bed,
and we'd romp.
Well, of course that came to a screeching
halt, and I was just laying there alone,
dealing with my pain and my disappointment, and
trying to pray, and falling asleep, and waking
up, and, you know, it's hard to pray
very peacefully when you're not very yielded.
Finally, I came to a point where I
said, Okay, God, I give up again.
I will trust you.
I will yield my will to yours.
I will believe that you're with me.
I will just trust in you and let
you lead me.
I fell back asleep and slept soundly, and
it couldn't have been very long until I
heard a voice that said, Be still and
know that I am God.
And it woke me, and I sat straight
up in bed, and I looked around the
room, and there was nobody there.
And I sat there and pondered, and I
knew that I had just heard God speak
this to me.
And I ran over to Rebecca and Jenny's
room, and I shared it with them, and
that was such a blessing.
I could have gone on that for a
long time, as if that wasn't enough.
A couple days later, I was talking to
my friend Denise, and she said, Ann, I
owe you an apology.
She said, You don't even know it yet.
But she said, About two weeks ago, I
was in a Christian bookstore standing in front
of a display, and it was just like
the Lord said to me, Buy that for
Ann.
So she said, I did.
I brought it home, and it's wrapped, and
it's been sitting on the top of my
refrigerator for two weeks.
And I'm so sorry.
I just feel like I've been negligent, but
she said, I want to get it to
you.
So she brought it over, and I unwrapped
that box, and I pulled out this mug,
and on it, it says, Be still and
know that I am God.
And I said, Denise, you weren't negligent.
You were just inside God's frame, time frame.
You know, two weeks before my struggling Saturday
morning, God told her to buy that for
me.
I still stand in awe of that.
This sits on my windowsill as a reminder
of God's faithfulness.
Two weeks, ladies, before what's going to happen
to you, He knows now.
Can you believe Him?
Can you choose love?
Can you choose forgiveness?
Can you choose contentment with a God like
that taking care of you?
Another thing, let your children forget.
You know, I was talking to Rebecca, that's
our oldest, the other day, and I asked
her to pray for me this evening, and
she said, Mother, what are you doing talking
to single mothers?
See, she's forgotten.
Let them forget.
Don't remind them of traumatic times.
Don't dramatize what's happened to you.
Don't share those hurtful things.
Remember, we're going to honor their daddy.
Just let them forget.
Children are amazingly forgetful.
They just are flexible.
No, they're going to know their life, their
home is not quite like most people's, but
that's their normal.
And if it's happy, and if they're securing
your love, and you're honoring their daddy, and
you're hoping in life, and you're joyful, they
can live normal lives.
They'll grow up fine.
Find them a father figure.
I would encourage that.
Someone you respect.
Someone that they can turn to.
And your relationship with them needs to be
very, very close.
In fact, I found that when Mark and
I began to come back, it was a
tearing from my children to give my heart
back to him again.
But if he's not there for you, you
need to be there for them.
Reverence and honor their daddy.
They'll forget much.
I have a bonus.
Mark loves me more than he would love
me if we had not gone through what
we did.
And I realize you may not get that
bonus.
You may not be able to have that
bonus.
But I promise you, upon the promises of
God, you will get a bonus.
Because he says, that if you call unto
me, I will give you great and mighty
things that you don't know anything about.
It's God's promise to you.
He says, I'll do exceeding abundantly above all
that you're going to dare even think to
ask me for.
He promises.
Just believe him for it.
You can.
You must do your part in this love
relationship.
But God will do his part.
Maybe there's some extreme cases here, and your
life is so deeply injured that you feel
like I really haven't even given you anything
to go on or to hope for.
Did you ever hear the story of the
toad and the pail of cream?
You know, a toad fell in a pail
of cream one time, and he had two
choices.
And he had to make a decision quick.
He could either drown, or he could do
what he did.
He kicked.
And he kicked, and he kicked, and he
kicked, until he had turned his cream into
butter.
And then he crawled up on top of
his butter.
Now let me ask you something.
Are you drowning in your circumstances?
Or are you letting your circumstances be the
very thing that helps you to victory?
You can.
God promises that he will work all things
together for good to those who love him,
who are called according to his purpose.
Let me give you one more hope from
an eternal point of view.
From Jesus' own words, and I'm going to
paraphrase a bit.
In Revelations, it says something like this to
you.
Listen.
Jesus is saying this to you.
Behold, I come quickly, and my reward is
with me to give to every woman according
as her work shall be.
And she that overcometh shall inherit all things,
and I will be her God, and she
shall be my daughter, and I will wipe
all tears from her eyes.
There will be no more tears, no more
sorrow, no more pain, for all the former
things are going to pass away, and all
things are going to become new.
Hallelujah!
If nothing else that I've said tonight spurs
you on to make a choice to live
life full of hope, surely that will.
Father God, if there has been anything said
here tonight that doesn't glorify you, I pray
you'll let these women all just forget.
And Father, otherwise, just take these words that
have come from the fullness of my own
heart and our experiences, and use what you've
taught me, Father, and break these words to
these ladies that it would be bread for
them to grow on.
Would you stir tonight, Lord, in some heart,
perhaps to bring repentance, but to give hope
in every heart.
Send us home tonight with new visions, with
new purpose, with new hope in Jesus Christ.
For indeed, Father, you are our hope.
And I pray it all in the precious
name of our healer, Jesus Christ.
Amen.
God bless you all.
Thank you so much, Anne.
I know that I'm not a single mom,
but I did receive hope and encouragement.
Anyone have something to share?
I'll bring the mic to you so you
don't have to come up.
Do you have a time when the Lord
just encouraged your heart, a little nugget, something
you'd like to share that might bless someone
else?
A time maybe when you were at the
very bottom and you just didn't see how
you were going to go on and God
brought you one of those gems.
Do you have one?
Just raise your hand.
Anybody?
God has blessed me in many, many ways
and many times with miracles.
Some people might not see it, but one
sticks out, and it's last year.
I developed much pain in my shoulder and
it got so severe that I couldn't sleep,
and I sure don't like to go to
the doctor, and I thought I should have
faith for it.
But I remember I was sitting at a
table and was so discouraged, and I thought,
why can't you heal me?
God, you know how my struggles are.
I'm living alone with four children, even though
my life is very blessed, but every mother
knows all the things we have, and I
was very discouraged sitting there, and I thought
it reminded me of my childhood.
I was very sick as a four-year
-old.
I couldn't walk for six months, and I
believe that God performed a miracle to heal
me because unless I'm absolutely mistaken, I felt
hands touch me while my mother was out
of the room, and I do believe God
heard me, and I asked Him, can't you
do this again?
Please, I'm begging you.
Since months I'm going through this.
I can't do the garden work.
I can't do the housework.
So much pain.
And I said then, I thought about suddenly
my middle name, and I thought, and you
don't need to remember it, my middle name
is Rafaela, and I thought, well, that does
sound Hebrew, and out of, I don't know
why, I got up, walked to the throne
of concordance, and I looked it up, and
the male form of Rafaela means God has
healed.
I was so, I never ever knew that
it was a Hebrew word.
I never knew, and I was so touched,
and I wrote it down, and I went
to my children, and I thought, there she
has one of these moments again.
I praised God for it, and I thanked
Him, and I knew it didn't matter to
me whether I had healing at that moment.
It didn't matter.
It took another few months.
I have hardly any pain anymore, and I
praised Him for it in so many little
situations.
Just one more thing, where we all know
we hit the moments where, as she said
also, there is just such a loneliness.
I can't wait for my husband back because
I was in a remarriage situation.
I have no right to feel that way.
Despite 16 years, and no matter what, I
don't even allow myself to go there.
And I live on the farm where the
couple that owns the farm has an office
not far away, and I don't always want
to burden them.
I have done so very many times.
They are around 15 years older than me.
So I felt I really longed to talk
to the woman, but I thought I really
can't bombard her, but I miss her.
So I went into my daughter's room and
sat there, and I saw her coming with
a car, and I really felt I miss
her.
And I told my daughter, I should go
there tomorrow and tell her I miss her.
So we are sitting there listening to music,
and she said, I think I heard something.
I got up, and she stands in the
kitchen.
She never visited me out of the blue
in the evening, but her husband, God, that
is so good, left her for three nights
in a row for work alone, and she
was just tired of that.
And she thought we didn't talk for quite
a while.
So she came and visited.
I told her later on.
And I could fill a book with these
stories, and that encourages me because I so
often think, God, I know you are there,
but I can't hear you.
I can't feel you right now.
I need more than that.
There is nobody that says I love you.
My children do, but they say the next
moment also something else.
So I praise God for His goodness and
love.
Thank you for sharing that.
What about a financial blessing?
Would there be someone who would say a
time when you were in straits and you
just didn't know how you were going to
make it because you didn't have the provision
that others did and the Lord provided through
someone?
Would that be something someone would want to
share?
Just some special little sweet something that the
Lord did for you?
One Mother's Day when my children were very
young, they wanted to go out and buy
a gift for me.
I really didn't have any money to go
give them something, and they were way too
young to leave in a store by themselves.
I didn't know what to do.
They said they wanted to buy flowers, and
they insisted that they buy them themselves.
They were only four or five, just way,
way too young to go let in a
store by themselves.
Then I saw this little flower shop in
New Holland, and it was a very little
store.
I said to them, Okay, I'll give you
some money.
I didn't have much.
I walked in with them.
They didn't even know.
They couldn't read numbers yet because they weren't
in school, but I showed them which flower
arrangements they would be able to buy.
Then I told them if they would pick
out the one they wanted and take their
money up to the counter, I would go
outside.
That was the best I could do.
I went out, and I waited, and I
waited.
I knew they couldn't have gone somewhere else
because the store was so small.
They came back out with this huge, huge
flower arrangement that I had seen in there.
It was pretty, but it was like four
times the amount of money I had given
them.
It was wrapped.
I didn't see what it was, but I
could see by the size of it that
it was not what I could afford.
They also had a balloon with it.
The helium balloons are, I don't know, $4
or $5 also.
They very happily giggled and put it in
the back seat and didn't let me open
it until Mother's Day.
It was a huge arrangement.
It was worth much more than the money
I had given them.
It made me cry.
I realized that God was in the heart
of that lady behind the counter, a total
stranger that I didn't even know had blessed
me more than she would ever know to
have given these children, who so desperately wanted
to give their mother something, their father would
never, never get them something to give to
me on Mother's Day, and they had no
one else to take them.
And the stranger in that store had no
idea how richly she blessed me and how
God had used her.
And your children learned something that lots of
children have not learned because of not being
in the same straight.
That's a beautiful story.
Someone else, anything, a gem for somebody else
to encourage, doesn't faith build faith?
It does.
I just wanted to say for those of
you that were here last year, I don't
know if you remember Pam Pritt.
She was the one that was crying and
encouraging the single mothers to believe God for
bringing their husbands back.
Well, thank God she's not here this year
because her husband is back.
And it's because of her believing prayers and
her faith in God.
He's still not a Christian, but we are
amazed at what God has been doing in
his life.
Back then he fell into an adulterous relationship
also.
But now that when he came back like
a year and a half ago, he still
didn't want her to quit her job.
He didn't want her to homeschool or anything.
But now he has said that she could
leave that job, and now she's at home
even homeschooling.
He's allowed that and everything.
He drives a truck and he calls her.
Like the other night she said he called
her and was saying, Hey, get some people
together and pray that God will get me
a run because he didn't have no run
that evening.
And he'll lead out in family prayer now
at night when they eat.
She's just amazed.
She is seeing how he's starting to rely
on God now.
And I've always said since I've met her,
it is because of her believing prayers and
just the faith that she has in God
that he was going to bring her husband
back to her.
So I hope that was an encouragement.
It is an encouragement.
Do you remember last year?
I was here last year, and when she
shared it, it broke my heart.
Do you remember?
And I felt I want to remember what
she said because she was talking to those
of us who did have husbands.
She was saying how she'd sit in the
nursery and she'd hear this woman and that
woman complaining about her husband's dirty socks and
this.
And here she was just longing to have
her husband.
And it was very piercing.
And that's why God's wisdom is applicable to
all of us no matter what situation we're
in.
I just wanted to say that with Pam,
her husband needed to go to the hospital
and had surgery and there was no one
to care for him.
So he came home to her house and
then he decided to not leave again.
Anyone else?
I don't want to cut you short.
Neither do I want to keep you long.
Anybody?
Ann mentioned at the close there that she
would encourage ladies to keep a journal.
And I know from everyone I've ever met
who has journaled and the journaling that I've
done myself, the tremendous treasure of keeping track
of pain and blessings to look back on.
So some of the ladies did purchase some
journals out here as you go out the
door.
We'd love for you to take one if
you would like to have that.
You can start from today.
And just pour out, just gush out your
heart feelings and you will see growth as
you claim promises and write them down.
The Lord will bless you with that.
Christine, do we have anything else here?
All right, then why don't we close in
prayer.
Oh God, you are our God and you
are so good.
Your promises are true.
Father, we thank you for your presence this
evening.
We thank you for ministering to us through
one of your servants, through your word, through
your truth.
And Father, I pray that you have just
planted all sorts of seeds around this room
and in hearts.
And Father, I don't know how many children
are represented in this room.
Father, I pray that we will see much
fruit come in their lives because of the
wisdom that we've leaned tonight.