Would you please turn with me to 1
Peter 3, we will read verses 1-7.
1 Peter 3, 1-7.
In the same manner, ye wives, be in
subjection to your own husbands, that, if any
of they not the word, they also may
without the word be won by the behavior
of the wives, while they behold your chaste
conduct, coupled with fear.
Whose adorning, let it not be that outward
adorning of braiding hair, and of wearing gold,
or of putting on of apparel, but let
it be the hidden man of the heart,
in that which is not corruptible, even the
ornament of a neat and quiet spirit, which
is in the sight of God a great
price.
For after this manner in the old time,
the holy women also, who trusted in God,
adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own
husbands.
Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord,
whose daughters ye are, as long as ye
do well, and are not afraid with any
tariff.
In like manner, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife,
as unto the weaker vessel, and as being
heirs together of the grace of life, that
your prayers be not hindered."
The message of the gospel is a message
that liberates, and the glory of the gospel
is the freedom that is given to us
through it.
Men are by nature lawless and rebels.
We hate to be controlled.
In this we have followed our father Adam,
who followed Satan in his rebellion against God.
It is so difficult to learn submission and
subjection to authority, the apostle Peter, in writing
to those who have newly come under the
message of the liberty of the gospel, in
order to instruct them concerning the areas which
they are obligated to be in submission or
subjection.
Lest those who have experienced the liberty and
freedom there is in Christ should feel that
now they can throw off all restraint, the
apostle reminds them that God has instituted authority
to curb the lawlessness of the natural man.
Peter commands us, as he writes in the
second chapter, to be in submission to government.
He has commanded us to be in submission
in the business world.
He has commanded us to be in subjection
in the religious realm to constituted authority, and
subject in the home as well.
The great example of this submission is the
example of the Lord Jesus Christ himself, for
at the close of chapter two, Peter reminds
us that Christ has left us an example
of submission to authority.
He takes his readers back to the experience
of Jesus Christ at his trial, when he
stood first of all before religious authority, and
he stood silent and speechless in the face
of their accusations because he recognized that God
had instituted authority in a religious realm, and
men were expected to be in subjection to
that authority.
When he was transferred from religious authority to
the governmental authorities, and was there accused again
of a capital crime, Christ stood silent before
his accusers and before his judges so that
the judges marveled.
He stood silent not because he had no
defense, but because he recognized that God had
instituted authority in the governmental realm, and men
were expected to be in subjection to authority.
Christ left such an example of submission to
authority that Peter can tell us that as
Christ was subject to authority, so are we
to be subject to authority because he left
us an example of submission.
In carrying on his theme of subjection to
authority, as we come into 1 Peter 3
verses 1 to 7 which occupy our attention
this morning, the apostle applies this truth of
the submission of Christ to authority to the
area of the home, and he says, "...in
the same manner, ye wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands."
I'm impressed with the first word in verse
1 of this chapter, "...in the same manner."
That is, in the same manner, in the
same way that Jesus Christ was subject to
the authority that had been imposed upon him,
so wives are to be subject to the
authority imposed upon them.
Just as Christ left us an example of
submission to the authority of his Father, in
like manner, to the same degree, the wife
is to be in subjection to her own
husband.
The New Testament gives us a number of
reasons why the wife is to be in
subjection to her husband.
When we turn to 1 Timothy chapter 2
verses 11 to 14, the apostle says that
the woman as woman is to be in
subjection to man as man.
This is a generic relationship, and the woman
is to be in subjection to man.
Let the woman learn in silence with all
subjection, I permit not a woman to teach
nor to usurp authority over the man, that
is, over man as a man, but to
be in silence.
The reason given is found, first of all,
in verse 13.
The woman as woman is to be in
subjection to man as man, for Adam was
first formed, then Eve.
This was God's law of creation.
Man as man was formed before woman as
woman was formed from man, and because of
the priority of creation, woman is in subjection
to man.
The second reason given for the submission of
woman to man is found in verse 14.
Adam was not deceived, but the woman being
deceived was in transgression.
Paul points out that the woman as woman
is more subject to deception than man.
The reason is that woman, by creation, is
governed by her heart.
Man is governed by his mind, responds to
mind.
One ruled by the heart rather than by
reason is more subject to emotional responses, and
it was this characteristic to which Eve was
tempted, and which Satan appealed when he appeared
to deceive Eve.
The Apostle Paul, recognizing the fundamental difference between
a masculine and feminine personality trait, says that
the woman is more subject, that is, because
she is ruled primarily by emotion.
Therefore, the woman should be in subjection to
man, so that reason rather than emotion may
prevail.
Now, in this the wisdom of God is
seen, because if only reason prevailed or operated,
there would be imbalance.
Therefore, God in his provision brings man and
woman together so that man may provide the
reason and woman the emotion, so the reason
should be balanced by emotion and emotion should
be controlled by reason.
But the Apostle points out then two reasons
why woman is to be in subjection to
man as man, the order of creation, and
the emotional character of woman.
Then when we turn to the epistles to
the Ephesians, in Ephesians chapter 5, we find
there is a second category of submission.
In Ephesians 5 verse 22, wives submit yourselves
unto your own husband as unto the Lord,
and this command is given not to woman
as woman, but to woman as a wife.
This is a second category of subjection.
The woman is to be subject to her
husband as a wife.
Now, the Apostle again gives an explanation as
to why the wife is to be in
subjection to her husband.
Marriage was designed to be an example to
the world of the relationship which exists between
a believer and Christ, and the Apostle explains
this in this passage which we do not
take time to read this morning, which I'm
sure is familiar to you, to point out
that just as Christ is head of the
body of believers, the church, so the husband
is the head of the wife.
And as the church has the responsibility of
being in submission or subjection to the authority
of Christ, so the wife is in submission
or subjection to the authority of her husband,
so that the relationship between husband and wife
in that home may be an object lesson
to the world of the right relationship existing
between Christ and a believer.
Then, when we turn to the passage that
occupies our attention this morning, 1 Peter 3,
verses 1-7, we find a third area,
or a third reason, given to us why
the wife is to be in subjection to
her husband, and that is in order that
an unbelieving husband may be won to the
Lord by the conduct of the wife.
And it is this aspect that Peter deals
with.
He does not speak of the area of
submission of woman to man, nor is he
primarily concerned with the object lesson inherent in
the submission of the wife to her husband.
He is telling wives how to win unsaved
husbands.
Now, if some of you single girls looked
at the bulletin this morning, how to win
a husband, you thought I was going to
give you some practical advice on how to
get married, you are doomed to disappointment.
The apostle is talking to those women who
already have husbands.
We find, as we go through the book
of Acts, that frequently the women were the
first ones in the family reached with the
gospel, the first ones who responded to the
love of Christ that was presented in the
gospel and trusted Christ for salvation.
You see, salvation is a matter of a
heart, not the matter of the mind, and
women, because they respond according to the dictates
of the heart, are often the first ones
to receive the love of God as it
is revealed in Jesus Christ.
And as Paul came to proclaim, as he
did in 2 Corinthians 5, the love of
Christ to those unsaved Philippians, he found that
the women were the first ones to respond
to it.
And often the husbands are more difficult to
reach for Christ because they move in the
realm of the mind, and salvation is not
mental assent to certain truths that can be
given with the mind.
Salvation is a response of trust of the
heart to the fact that Christ died for
our sins, according to the scriptures.
And so, the apostle Peter saw many women
who, in response to the love of Christ,
had received Christ as a personal Savior, and
now are concerned that their husbands have not
come to know Christ personally.
Here is a home that spiritually is a
divided home, the one partner in the light
and the other partner in the darkness, all
where there can be no communication because that
which binds them together is lacking.
So Peter, in a very practical way, applies
this principle of submission to the authority of
the husband so that the unsaved husband might
be won.
Now, since men respond to rational presentation, it
might be concluded that the best way for
a wife to win her husband is to
begin to teach him or to argue with
him, since he is a rational creature, appeal
to his mind and argue with him.
That is humiliating to any man to have
to argue with a woman, especially if he
loses the argument.
And the apostle says, wives, you will never
win your husbands by trying to outsmart them
and out-argue them by your logic, by
your work.
So, the apostle recognizes that there must be
some other way to reach the husband, and
he tells us in verse 1 of chapter
3, "...be in subjection to your own husband,
that if any obey not the word, they
also may without a spoken word on your
part be won by the behavior of the
wife."
Now, Peter recognizes that a man is because
he believes the word.
Peter has made that very clear, for he
has told us in the opening portion of
his epistle that we were not redeemed with
corruptible things, 118, from your vain manner of
life received by tradition from your fathers, but
with a precious blood of Christ, of a
lamb without blemish and without spot.
Peter has also told us in chapter 2
that we were born again not of corruptible
seed, but of incorruptible seed by the word
of God which liveth and abideth forever.
Peter recognizes that salvation is the response of
faith in the revelation given to us in
the word of God.
We also recognize that God's method of reaching
man is through the foolishness of preaching.
That is God's method of reaching man.
It is not the preaching of foolishness, but
preaching seems to be a foolish method of
reaching the world for Christ.
With all the means of mass communication that
we have, it would seem that we can
improve on God's method, but the word says
you can't improve on God's method.
God's method is to preach.
Now, since a man is saved by the
word, and since God has ordained that the
word should be preached so that men can
be saved, what would the women conclude?
That they should become preachers.
Isn't that simple?
And the wife who gets hold of this
truth, I was saved by the preaching of
the word, therefore I must preach to my
husband, and so morning, noon, and night, every
time the poor fellow came home, he got
another sermon.
Peter says, shut up, and Peter's advice to
wives was to keep their mouths shut.
He told them to do the hardest thing
possible.
Now, Peter is not saying that the wives
can win their husbands without the word of
God.
No, not at all.
We recognize, as Paul did and as Peter
did, that faith cometh by hearing, and hearing
by the word of God, but how is
that word to be communicated?
Two ways.
One is by the lips, and the second
is by the life.
And Peter is not, for a moment, minimizing
the effect of communicating the word by the
lips, but he says, why be in subjection
to your own husbands that if any obey
not the word, they also may without a
spoken word from you be won.
How are they going to be won?
By the beating here of the wife.
Now, what does Peter mean?
That if you are saved, your husband recognizes
an appetite on your part, and he sees
your desire to go to church Sunday morning
and Sunday night and Wednesday night and leave
him home, he's going to wonder what gave
you such an appetite.
Then he sees you want to go to
a Bible class Tuesday morning and Wednesday night
and Friday night and leave him at home.
He's going to be impressed by your appetite
for the word.
He's going to see your diligence and study
in devotions, and he'll forget that he got
a TV dinner at night because you were
so busy in your Bible study in the
day that you didn't have time to fix
him a meal.
He'll overlook the dust in the furniture because
you were busy in Bible class and so
on, and your very diligence for the Lord
is going to impress him.
No, that's not what Peter's talking about at
all.
When he talks about the behavior of the
wives, he's talking about the submission of the
wife to her husband.
You see, the husband, as well as anybody,
knows the lawlessness and rebelliousness of his own
wife.
He knows how difficult she is to control,
to keep in line.
He's been trying to do it all the
time.
She was unfazed and never succeeded in doing
it, and here is this lovely rebel to
whom he is married who suddenly has become
a subject wife, a wife in complete subjection
to the authority of her husband, and for
the first time he's going to prick up
his ears and open his eyes and say,
"'What changed that girl?' And Peter says, "'Wise,
if you want to win an unfaithful husband,
you become what Scripture demands of a wife
in relationship to her husband,' and that transformation
is going to open up his ears to
the gospel as no amount of preaching on
your part could ever do.
"'They will behold,' verse 2, "'your chaste conduct
coupled with fear,' and fear there has to
do with respect for authority.
When the wife who used to greet her
husband's command with "'Why?' suddenly responds by saying,
"'Yes, sir.'" He's going to want to know
why, and that reverential respect for the authority
of the husband will move that husband to
the Lord.
Why?
It will be evidence that the wife is
subject to the husband because she is subject
to the Lord first, and submission to the
Lord will produce submission in every God-ordained
area of life.
Hmm?
Some people don't think Peter had a wife
in spite of the fact that our Lord
healed Peter's mother-in-law.
They they find some explanation so as to
perpetuate the doctrine of celibacy for the priesthood.
Peter didn't learn what he did about women
just by observation.
This came by experience.
How does a wife get her husband to
do what she wants to do?
How does the wife persuade him of what
was in her mind so that he thinks
that it was his idea all the time?
It's by making herself physically attractive to her
husband.
It was all she had to go on.
It was the only way she could operate.
Fix herself up, and when her husband came
home and saw this beautiful vision in the
living room when he went in, he made
a suggestion.
He just said, "'Yes, dear.'" They had no
authority to order.
They had no separate checking accounts or credit
cards to go and buy what they wanted.
You see, they were totally dependent, so they
had to have a way of getting the
husband to do what they wanted them to
do, and they depended on physical charge.
And Peter said, verse 3, "'If you want
to win your husband to the Lord, don't
depend on what you are.
Who's adorning?
Let it not be that outward adorning of
braiding the hair, and of wearing of gold,
or of putting on apparel.'" Be careful about
this.
Peter's not advocating sloppiness, loveliness, doubtiness.
I think it's the responsibility of every Christian
girl to look as good as she can
with what the Lord gave her to start
with.
It's the responsibility of every wife to be
as attractive to her husband as it is
possible for her to be, but not to
depend on that to win her husband to
the Lord, because it won't work.
"'Who's adorning?
Let it not be the outward, external fixing
of the person,' verse 4, "'but let it
be the hidden man of the heart, and
that which is not corruptible, even the ornament
of a meek and quiet spirit.'" Weakness has
to do with submission in which the woman
sets aside her desire to take the husband's
desire.
It has to do with selflessness.
Quietness has to do with keeping the mouth
shut.
A lack of argumentativeness.
It goes back to what Peter said in
verse 1, "'If any obey not the word,
they may without a word be wise.'" Now,
how does a wife usually, or often, try
to get what she wants from her husband?
Tease, then beg, then nag, and then rebel.
See, that's that argumentativeness, and it's the opposite
of a quiet spirit.
Now, the husband who had grown accustomed to
sealing himself against the wiles of his wife
because of what she wanted, suddenly finds the
wife submissive, and her selfishness and self-centeredness
is gone, and she is quiet in word
toward him, is going to be so amazed
at the transformation he's going to inquire as
to what brought this transformation about.
And when he detects that she is submissive
to him because she is submissive to the
Lord, and is emulating her Lord in his
submission to authority, the man is going to
have an irrefutable testimony that he cannot gainsay.
Now, Peter gives us an Old Testament example
of this submission.
Abraham and Sarah lived together for a long,
long, long time, and even when
Abraham was approaching the century mark, and Sarah
was about 90 years of age, Abraham loved
her and desired her more than anything in
the world.
When somebody else tried to get her away,
he was willing to fight for her.
Have you ever wondered why?
Well, we're told in the Old Testament, in
Genesis 18-12, Sarah addressed Abraham as, my
Lord.
Throughout her life, Sarah was subject to the
authority of Abraham, and while she must have
been a ravenous beauty, or otherwise the king
would not have coveted her when Abraham left
the land, it was not Sarah's beauty that
tied Abraham to her heart.
It was her submission to the authority of
Abraham that joined Abraham's heart to Sarah.
It is that illustration that Peter presents to
these women after this manner, also.
That is, here's another example of submission.
He's referred in verse 1, using the same
phrase in the same manner, to give us
the illustration of the submission of Christ.
But now, in verse 5, using the phrase
after this manner, he gives us the submission
of Sarah.
Sarah recognized the authority of her husband, and
throughout her life was subject to his authority.
She trusted God and adorned herself not as
a rich man's wife might adorn herself.
But with brocades and fancy clothing and jewels
of silver and gold, Sarah adorned herself for
Abraham by submission to his authority.
The submission in the home is God's will.
As much as submission to authority in government,
submission to authority in business, or submission to
authority in the church, because the home may
become a cell of rebellion, God has instituted
authority in the home and has constituted the
husband the head of the home.
And he commands the wives to recognize that
God-assigned authority and submit to it.
And Peter's teaching is that such submission will
win an unsaved husband to the Lord.
If we were to summarize Peter's teaching, we
could put it very simply this way.
If an unsaved wife desires to win her
husband to the Lord, she should keep her
mouth shut and be such a model wife
in every area assigned to a wife that
the husband may be impressed that her savior
can produce such a change that a desire
will be created in him for what has
changed his wife.
To let this teaching be misused, and to
safeguard this teaching from a domineering husband, this
paragraph closes in verse 7 with a word
to the husband.
Again, it's introduced in like manner, and will
you notice that the example of submission to
authority of Christ that is used in reference
to the wives in verse 1 is now
used in reference to the husbands in verse
7.
In like manner, verse 1.
In like manner, verse 5.
In like manner, verse 7.
And just as Christ was subject to the
authority of his Father, so the husband in
the home must be subject to the authority
of the Father over his life.
And as Christ loves the church, so the
husband must be subject to the authority of
Christ that the love of Christ is manifested
through the husband to the wife.
You see, this assignment of authority to the
husband and the command to submit to authority
to the wife is positional.
It is not personal.
The wife personally is not one bit inferior
to her husband.
That would be impossible because the two have
become one flesh, and what is one flesh
cannot have a disparity.
So, this is not personal, it is positional,
and the husband is commanded to dwell with
wives according to knowledge.
According to knowledge of what?
That God has given authority to him, that
he is responsible to exercise that authority before
God in reference to his wife and the
children.
The question is often asked by a wife,
but suppose my husband won't take the place
of a husband and assume responsibility or authority.
Should I do it then?
Absolutely not.
If you wives take over the authority, it's
an easy thing for the husband to let
you do it, and if you don't do
it, then he has to.
There is no scriptural reason why the wife
should assume the responsibility, nor any scriptural reason
why the husband should let his wife assume
that responsibility.
You are to dwell according to knowledge of
this divine arrangement, and the apostle points out
that the wife is to be honored as
a weaker vessel.
Honored.
I could go to the dime store and
buy a coffee cup, but it would be
just a common, old, pottery kind of a
cup.
It would have to be thick and heavy.
If I were to go to a fine
china shop and bought a coffee cup, it
would be very, very fragile.
It would be frail, it would be delicate.
If I held that dime store cup up
to the light, I'd see nothing through it.
It had to be thick and heavy because
of the way it was made, but if
I held that china cup up to the
light, the light would shine through because it
is so fresh.
You don't mind banging around the old ten
cent cup from the dime store, but you
treat that fragile china cup with the respect
that it deserves.
The land we're made rough, rugged.
Let's face it, where are those old ten
cent store cups?
The artistry is in the weaker vessel.
God says, respect it as that weaker vessel,
because it's weaker does not mean it's less
valuable.
It is entitled to respect.
We are to live together as heirs of
the grace of life, and Peter is referring
to this marvelous arrangement of God.
This is not an apostolic arrangement, this is
a divine arrangement, for God has brought man
a rational, strong creature, and has joined him
to a creature controlled by heart, fragile and
beautiful, and put the two together so that
mind and heart might balance each other, and
the rugged physical characteristics might counterbalance the weakness
and the fragility of the weaker vessel.
That was God's arrangement for this life, and
we are to recognize that as a divine
arrangement, the wife not to rebel against this
divine arrangement, and the husband not to misuse
this divine arrangement.
We are to live together as husband and
wife, as heirs of that which was a
gracious provision for God at the time of
the creation of beings, that it is not
good that man should be alone.
I will make a help suited exactly to
him.
Peter concludes with this significant word, that your
prayers do not hinder.
I think he has in mind here the
prayer of the wife for an unfaithful husband
that would be hindered, a prayer prayed fervently
but which God could never hear.
Why?
Not because God is not willing to save
that husband, but God cannot and will not
hear a prayer that is voiced for a
husband when the wife is not in right
relationship to the authority of her husband.
If I understand this passage, you're right.
Until there is a right relationship to authority
in the home, with the husband assuming the
God-given responsibilities for the home and the
wife subject to the authority of her husband,
there will be no answered prayer that arises
from those in that relationship.
Peter's getting right down where we left off
from morning to night, and as he compels
his believers to recognize authority in faith, in
authority of the employer, and will emphasize the
authority in the church, so he presents Christ
as a model for the home.
As he was subject to the authority of
his father, so there must be recognition of
the authority of Christ in the husband.
The husband must recognize the authority of Christ
over him and his relationship to the members
of the home, that your prayers be not
hindered.
We pray, our Father, that the Spirit of
God may take these very practical instructions for
daily life, and may teach us from this
passage that every area of life might be
brought unto the authority of Christ, that we
who know him and are saved because he
was obedient unto death may find his obedience
to the Father reproduced in us by the
Holy Spirit.
We pray in Jesus' name, may the riches
of thy grace, mercy, and peace rest and
abide upon each one, now and ever.
Amen.