A number of years ago, a young lady
made this statement.
Now, God has given us an exciting ministry
of counseling couples with marital problems.
He brings them to us.
We're so thankful.
Heavenly Father, we ask that today on this
program of Own Eagle's Wings, you'd open up
our minds and our hearts to hear the
Spirit, what the Holy Spirit has to say
to us in regard to our marriages.
We thank you that you love us.
We thank you that you give us life
through Christ.
We pray for any that do not know
Jesus as their Savior, that they would come
to know Him personally.
We thank you for your Word.
We ask that your Word would minister to
us.
We thank you for the testimonies of those
of which your Word has changed their lives.
In Jesus' name, amen.
We started off a number of weeks ago
on a series on marriage and divorce, and
today, I want to share a story or
two with you as we have time, and
then just let you get in on the
power of the principle of God's Word, the
marriage principles, to change lives.
God has given us these principles in the
Word, and we've been going through the Scriptures
showing us.
We've been looking at Scriptures, how God has
instructed that marriage is a type of the
church.
Marriage is to be for till death will
end that marriage.
That's the only ground of which a couple
could get remarried.
We've been showing you that actually the standards
that the world has out there, and many
believers too, are standards that are not biblical
in regards to marriage and divorce.
In other words, the Word of God teaches,
and this is what we've been going over
the last few weeks, is that when a
man and woman get married, the only thing
that will end that marriage will be death.
And we've established that from the Scriptures.
Paul two times very clearly said that death
would be the only thing that would end
that marriage.
I'll take you back to one passage, just
by way of quick review, and we want
to get into the stories testifying of the
power of God.
Actually, I have several stories.
Now, we've been building through these principles on
how to rebuild your marriage.
Now I want to give you some testimonies
of the fact that these principles work.
But remember, God said in Romans 7, "...for
the woman which hath a husband is bound
by the law to her husband so long
as he liveth but if the husband be
dead she is loose from the law of
her husband.
So then if while her husband liveth she
be married to another man she shall be
called an adulteress.
But if her husband be dead, she is
free from that law so that she is
no adulteress though she be married to another
man."
Now I'm going to share with you this
testimony of this young woman as they as
she went into the struggles of her marriage
now that statement that I read to you
at the very first where she said now
God has given us an exciting ministry of
counseling couples You would not believe that that
would have been possible if you would have
seen the first part of this story because
the story Starts out about her marriage.
She was married in the spring of 1964
she said that she was just out of
high school and her husband had finished three
years in the Marine Corps and She said
as she looked back She knew that he
loved her But she didn't love him She
just wasn't sure about that.
She said did I love him?
I'm not sure and What happened in the
next few years was just nothing but probably
a common story among many lives She went
on and she said God blessed us with
two beautiful children to everyone.
We were the ideal couple We had a
nice home new car nice things all this
materialism was our search for happiness Behind closed
doors.
However, our lives were empty.
We tried everything to make our marriage work
My husband sent me cards and flowers and
showered me with gifts This only created more
financial problems every Saturday night.
We went out for entertainment This became the
highlight of our week.
It was the one time to get away
from it all But we still weren't happy
and I might just stop right here and
make a statement In our churches in our
lives.
One of the things that does not produce
the power of Christ is hypocrisy We can
pretend and maybe fool those around us, but
we don't fool ourselves And for sure, we
don't fool our mate and absolutely for sure
We don't fool God and so here you
have a testimony of a young lady opening
up her heart to share what had happened
in her life and in the end of
the story is how Christ changed her life
and I'm saying this to you that God
Can rescue your marriage?
We had this letter asking what do you
do after you've been divorced you be you
move into being a Rebuilder and here's the
process of being in a tragic situation and
maybe this one was like yours.
Maybe it's not I'm sure that Every situation
has different tenets to it in the marriage
and divorce struggle But when we take our
stand in the Word of God and we
stand there and you're gonna see how she
makes has to make a choice Very hard
choice then that stand.
Well, God will honor our stands on the
Word of God She said immorality soon crept
into both of our lives by 1972 there
were hurts bitterness lack of trust and no
communication I left my husband for another man.
This man left his wife and children for
me and filed for divorce By this time
my health was poor and less than one
week after my divorce was filed I was
in the hospital for my third surgery in
15 months The other man's divorce never became
final.
He missed his children in a few months
He decided to try for a reconciliation as
a divorced woman now alone I had to
find a means of supporting the children and
Myself my doctor advised against any work for
at least a year to allow me to
regain my strength But I saw no alternative
the job I got was hard work Some
days I had to work 10 to 12
hours during this time I tried dating but
was quickly discouraged by improper advances They became
my only reason for existence.
I was lonely and depressed I excuse me.
I left out something.
She said here.
I secluded myself from everyone, but my children
They became my only reason for existence.
I was lonely and depressed She went on
to say my depression became more frequent.
My whole life was my children yet The
time for them was so scarce I took
them to the daycare center in the morning
and when I got home in the evening
They were ready for bed soon I began
to feel like a failure as a mother
in the guilt for this whole situation became
very heavy By this time my former husband
was dating another woman He offered to take
the children on weekends So I would not
have to worry about us a sitter The
children look forward to these weekends because my
husband and the woman he was dating had
time to spend with them I began to
think that they would be better off with
their father in my state of mind suicide
seemed the only answer I Had access to
many pills my doctor had prescribed many tranquilizers
and pain pills.
I became obsessed with them I had already
figured out the how I wasn't irrational.
I continued to work every day Then in
1973 at the point of final desperation I
heard the gospel and became a Christian and
this is the key to life Christ He's
the one that Puts your life back together.
He is the one for giving you life
without him.
You don't have life This is what the
scripture says he that has the Son has
life so she heard the gospel in three
weeks that followed she learned about a Basic
youth seminar that was to be held that
month.
She wanted to go but she she She
needed to know more about the Lord and
the Savior.
So she decided that she'd go she didn't
have the extra money but God provided a
place for her at the group rate and
Just the exact amount came in for her
She said I asked my former husband if
he would stay with the children so I
could go he agreed this really surprised me
We should we usually avoided Conversations since each
one had led to a quarrel That week
he was super He even had snacks ready
for me as I rushed home from my
work early to change clothes and get to
the seminar on Time I have to admit
that the seminar wasn't easy for me, especially
Friday and Saturday I sat with a pastor
and his wife who only reinforced what?
Mr. Gotthard said that God's will for me
was to remarry my former husband I cried
a lot after those sessions.
I could see no way nor did I
want a reconciliation There were too many hurts
besides my former husband had someone else I
too had found someone that I was beginning
to care for a great deal that week
Changed my many things.
I shared my notebook and what I had
learned that week with my former husband We
were able to talk without fighting, but there
is still this other woman Which was fine
with me as I felt nothing romantically everything
I had ever felt was dead Yet the
words in first Corinthians 7 10 through 11
haunted me Let not the wife depart from
her husband but and if she depart Let
her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her
husband and let not the husband put away
his wife My former husband began to see
a change in me He told me of
a time Right before he boarded a ship
for overseas when a chaplain had given him
an invitation to accept Christ He had prayed
to receive Christ, but they left on the
ship and the chaplain stayed behind He had
never had any follow-up or growth, but
he desired to go to church so we
began our search for a church and She
continues with this She said now the perfect
ending would have been that we fell back
in love and were remarried Well, that is
true, but not in that order not that
easily even though I had divorced my husband
He had never stopped loving me and when
the chance to help came along He was
willing and wonderful, but I fought I fought
God.
I fought him and I fought myself I
knew what scripture said, but I felt nothing
I was still easily depressed though not as
severely as before the battle that raged inside
me was awful.
I Felt that I loved another man, but
even he told me that my place in
God's view was with my first husband It
was a hard lesson for me to learn
to walk by faith.
Not feeling in 1974 I finally agreed to
remarry my former husband till death do us
part and this is what we've been saying
folks the Bible teaches till death do us
part when you take a vow then a
vow before God is Binding prior to that.
She said we both attended a basic seminar
together It was my second time and and
his first we both learned a lot and
Heard a lot that we didn't want to
hear we realized we had a big job
ahead of us We would have to change
completely the habit patterns of our old life
now.
Let me inject here Remember, I'm sharing these
things some thoughts and guidelines out of out
of a rebuilder supplement Which is a supplement
to a manual on rebuilding your marriage using?
Bible principles for your marriage and We've been
sharing these things with you for the last
few weeks one letter.
We'd receive from a man Us what do
you do after you've gone through an experience
of a divorce?
Will you build your life you build your
life back by the grace of God and
the testimony here is this couple ended up?
by the grace of God and going through
some very painful procedures of obedience ended up
being a Great help in the church and
this is what you can do You may
not be able to hold positions in leadership
because of the guidelines of Scripture But there
are places there is a place for you.
So don't be discouraged that there's not a
place for you The sin is sin but
the marriage divorce area disqualifies men certain men
from holding positions of elders and deacons and
when we violate those principles Then we bring
in Repercussions into our family now.
Let me get back to their testimony We
would have to change completely the habit patterns
of our old life They said that life
had led to the destruction of our first
marriage The temporal values and the seeking after
our own fleshly desires We would have to
stop taking from one another and start giving
to one another From expecting to have our
own needs met to seeking to understand and
meet our mates deepest needs first God showed
both of us areas in which we had
failed but by his grace and because of
his life We saw hope and this is
what we want to tell you by God's
grace.
There is hope and there is life That
seminar opened doors of communication between us It
permitted honest discussion in areas that before us
that before had been locked up closets of
bitterness But hard as I tried she said
I could still feel no love for him
She went on to say the next months
flew by as the day of our wedding
grew nearer I have to say in all
honesty that I searched I searched for a
way out Our son became quite ill two
days before the wedding I mentioned postponing the
wedding to our pastor and he absolutely and
flatly refused now as I look back I
realized that Satan didn't want that wedding either
and he was busy working out Circumstances to
make it look as if Satan's will were
God's will I thank and praise God that
he he is the blessed Blessed controller of
all things.
He was answering the faithful prayers of those
in the church who are closest to us
in that situation The wedding day was probably
one of the worst days of my life
She said I felt trapped forced into a
marriage to someone.
I didn't even love When I realized that
I would have have to consummate the marriage
that night I became so upset and nervous
that I was actually physically ill It was
all they could do to get me to
the church and then to get me down
the aisle I wanted to run I nearly
passed out twice during the ceremony the pressure
made my head feel as if it were
about to explode the only word to describe
the first 18 months of our remarriage is
Horrible now, let's keep going.
That's not the end of the story Maybe
that's the point in your marriage where you
feel like you're at the horrible point But
you can get to the blessed point if
we'll follow scriptures We were both miserable God
had so much to teach us, but I
don't think I was really teachable I think
I was angry at God instead of surrendering
my will I fought him at every turn
Rebellious would perfectly describe my spirit Naturally the
depression continued but God's Spirit continued to work
the harder I tried to love my husband
the harder it got he wasn't being the
spiritual leader He had promised to be and
I felt defrauded It was first Peter 3
that God used to change my attitude God
showed me that it was my job to
love my husband and God's job to change
my husband God God father showed me that
I was trying to do the job of
the Holy Spirit This alone was enough to
stop God's work in my husband's life I
repented and asked God to forgive me for
my rebellious and selfish spirit I asked for
his help in Being a submissive wife and
in developing the qualities that would be precious
and pleasing in his sight.
I Acknowledged my inability to love my husband
I asked God to forgive me for my
root sin of taking control of my own
life The key was in surrendering my will
to God.
He loved my husband.
So I asked God to love him through
me She went on to say things didn't
change overnight But as I look back now,
I see how patient God was with me
the lesson I had to learn was submission
of my rights my Expectations my emotions my
entire being and God was working in my
husband's life to teach him patience As well
as spiritual maturity Did you catch that?
once God began to get through to her
in The area of being submissive yielding of
her rights her expectations her emotions her Indian
being All this then God began to work
in her husband's life Many times you will
be the key to getting the other person
back to the Lord She went on to
say another truth that God showed me in
his word was the importance of what we
think in our hearts Romans 10 8 through
10 became my key to control my emotions
when I would doubt my love for my
husband I would verbally confess facts of faith
when I would find myself relying on feelings
I would thank God for the deep love.
He had given me for my husband whenever
I vacuumed I would speak positive affirmations of
our new love our spirit to spirit relationship
Our our growth is one and our godly
actions and reactions toward each other and toward
our children when I surrendered by others When
surrounded by others she said and flooded with
doubts I would retreat to my room rebuke
the negatives and speak the truth in my
heart.
I Still find it amazing the power we
have in our tongues with our words We
can minister life and health or death to
one spirit even our own She went on
to say this August and In writing this
letter a number of years ago.
My husband and I will celebrate the fourth
anniversary of our remarriage Like all marriages we
still have difficult days But now I can
honestly say I love my husband quite a
difference from when we started out Wasn't it
now?
I know what love is.
It is not a feeling or an emotion
It is a choice We make an act
of our wills when I walked down the
aisle It was not because of a feeling
or a desire It was an act of
my will in obedience to God and his
word I praise and thank God for the
victory of that day and for the gift
of growing faith That has resulted since that
day.
You see as we've been sharing the principles
of God's Word on marriage and divorce Our
first step is to line up with what
God says and if we're lined up and
everything's fine, then that's great Let's praise the
Lord and thank him for his mercy and
our lives and his grace and and helping
us to keep our marriage Right, but if
we've been wrong Then we confess where he
shows us that we're wrong and then we
do what we're supposed to do at that
point and go on If you're all right
in your marriage and everything then you're there
to help guide others If you have gone
off the track Then you go back on
the track where you got off and you
rebuild your marriage the best you can As
far as you can scripturally and then God
will use that rebuilding as a testimony She
went on to say this in the closing
Paragraphs of this letter.
She said now God has given us an
exciting Well, first of all, she said I
miss my husband when he is away because
a part of me goes with him Remember,
this is what the Lord taught.
They shall become one flesh Heart to heart
he can he complements me and makes me
whole every day I find God giving me
more love for my husband this man toward
whom I had lost all love and respect
Now God has given us an exciting ministry
of counseling couples with marital problems.
He brings him to us We're so thankful
for the seminar and the principles we have
been able to share We have brought many
couples to the seminar and have seen the
healing power of God through the ministry Both
of our children are growing Christians and have
led several other friends to Christ by the
way this seminar comes into this area up
in the Kansas City area tells us Springfield
down in the Rogers Fayetteville area this seminar
is a powerful tool for ministering to Christians
and to churches and to marriages She had
this last Statement on this letter She said
divorce has run on on my side of
the family as far back as I have
been able to trace This is one of
the things that helped me choose remarriage I
prayed that through that act of obedience God
would cause that chain of sin to be
broken My husband and I believe that this
is part of the heritage We now we
are now able to leave to our children
and to their children One of the Saddest
things is to see a generational sin continue
from generation to generation to generation It may
be alcoholism It may be some other drug
abuse or are some other thing or a
divorce as the case here But if God
has been opening up your eyes to this
then you may be the one God may
be speaking you today to break this Chain
now one more brief story From a father's
viewpoint.
This is how a father rebuilt what his
pride had destroyed Starting off he said this
quote my wife no longer loved me My
oldest daughter had run away from home my
second daughter desired the things of the world
my youngest daughter's Self-image was shattered the
division and tensions in our home was destroying
all of us now Can God put back
a marriage that's in that kind of shape
well?
Let's see what his testimony is he said
my desire had always been to be a
good Christian and to follow the teaching of
Scripture but by February of 1973 I realized
that I was a failures a husband a
father and a Christian my wife and I
discussed divorce many times Even now my heart
breaks as I remember the contention and destruction
that my failures brought upon my family One
day a friend told me of the change
in his wife after she attended a basic
seminar He suggested that I attend I did
register But later I wanted to cancel when
I realized that I would have to ride
200 miles each night for the seminar However
because I had already sent in my money.
I decided to go Each night of the
week I drove 100 miles to the seminar
and 100 miles home my wife was skeptical
She remembered the many other religious meetings I
had attended which had not had any lasting
results But as the week progressed I began
to see hope for myself and my family
through the principles of Scripture This is a
seminar where the scriptures the principles of Scripture
are taught in Application to life and he
went on to say this for the first
time I realized that I was responsible for
the mess that my life and my family
were in But God was giving me a
second chance if I applied the principles.
I was learning Excuse me He said God
was giving me a second chance if I
applied the principles that I was learning and
that's probably a big if there Many times
we get things into our mind, but we
don't apply it and never hit hits our
heart never gets into our life He said
I went before God and dedicated myself to
his plan No matter what the cost I
yielded my possessions and my family to God
I went to all those whom I had
wronged and asked for a forgiveness God was
so gracious as each one forgave me.
I began to look at my life My
church and my job from a new perspective
Everything became new and exciting He said the
week after I attended the seminar God led
me to memorize first Corinthians 13 God in
all his goodness knew that my pride was
preventing me from his best So he had
to deal with that area first a week
later He humbled me with a phone call
my oldest daughter called to tell me she
was pregnant and wanted to come home Previously
my response would have been hard and unforgiving
But God had turned me around to see
his ways This call was a horrible blow
to the pit of my stomach after the
call I fell across the bed and wept
because I knew that it was my failure
as a father Which was responsible for her
condition and this is what we've been saying
for years we as fathers and Husbands are
responsible for our families to lead them to
be a proper example If we have a
position and we're not qualified that for that
in the church It will affect our families.
It will affect our churches it will affect
the lives and what we're doing today is
we're reaping a crop of immorality because we've
sowed ungodly principles among our families among our
children and in our churches Many have said
now won't it won't matter just be cool
This is the way people are doing it
Well God's Word doesn't change but what I
find is is that we like to change
God's Word if we don't like it and
whenever we want to accept God's Word and
change it Then we'll pay the consequences many
have said well It doesn't matter that we've
got these other versions out here that are
so different from the King James I say
it does matter I say that man has
been messing with the Word of God and
greatly This is the greatest deception of our
generation and it has affected the marriages It's
affecting the churches this this great deception in
thinking that all these other versions Beside the
King James are the Word of God the
pure Word of God They're not we've had
a hoax pulled over us And you know
we spent months showing you and sharing with
you facts how this has been uncovered how
there's been a takeover in our Seminaries in
this area and what I'm saying today is
it's affected the area of the home Well,
he went on to say in closing up
on his story That many adjustments had to
be made but each one became an opportunity
to show God's love to each other During
those months God gave me wise counsel for
each one in the family and Wisely corrected
me when I made him mistakes as I
made mistakes God gave me the grace to
admit them when my family saw me humble
myself They were eager to attend a basic
seminar we attended that same year in The
days months and years since that seminar we've
worked together as a family to build those
principles into our lives I am now at
peace with God and with all men as
far as I know My wife is happy.
We love each other and she has a
ministry with our daughters Her health has greatly
improved and we invest time together to build
our relationships Let me read you the beginning
Statement again.
He said my wife no longer loved me
my oldest daughter had run away from home
My second daughter desired the things of the
world My youngest daughter's self-image was shattered
the division intentions in our home were destroying
all of us What would you do?
What would you say to a man who
had a testimony like that?
What would you say that would bring him
back around to have a testimony like he
had at the end where he said?
I am now at peace with God and
with all men as far as I know
my wife is happy We love each other
and she has a ministry with our daughters
Her health is greatly improved and we invest
time together to build our relationship Well, I
trust that you could use these stories and
the in ministering and maybe they've been an
encouragement to you and I just trust that
they'll They'll prompt you and pricked you to
be careful.
We can't be too careful.
We all need each other as Christians We
need God's put the giftings in the body
of Christ who ministered one another And I'd
like to just close up with a blessing
for you May the Lord bless thee and
keep thee may the Lord make his face
shine upon thee and be gracious unto thee
and May the Lord lift up his countenance
upon thee and give thee peace God bless
you