The first chapter, and find out what I
believe that God would have us as women
to try to develop within ourselves through the
power of His Holy Spirit.
Simon Peter, it says, a servant and an
apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have
obtained like precious faith with us through the
righteousness of God and our Savior Jesus Christ,
grace and peace be multiplied unto you through
the knowledge of God and of Jesus our
Lord.
According as His divine power hath given unto
us all things that pertain unto life and
godliness, through the knowledge of Him that hath
called us to glory and virtue, by which
are given unto us exceedingly great and precious
promises, that by these ye might be partakers
of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption
that is in the world through lust.
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to
your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge, and
to knowledge self-control, and to self-control
patience, and to patience godliness, and to godliness
brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.
For if these things be in you and
abound, they make you that ye shall neither
be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of
our Lord Jesus Christ.
But he that lacketh these things is blind,
and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten
that he was purged from his old sins.
I want us to think about it for
a moment.
I think those verses 8 and 9 are
especially important.
If these things, all of these virtues, these
characteristics we might say, if they be in
us and abound, they will make us so
that we're neither barren nor unfruitful in the
knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But the scripture goes on to say that
if you lack these things, you're blind, and
you cannot see afar off, and the idea
is that you've forgotten what God has done
for you.
I don't know about you, but often it's
easy for me to get so busy in
things that I have to do that it's
as though everything is afar off.
I've kind of gotten away from the whole
routine, perhaps, of what I have been doing
in the past and knowing how God was
working in my life.
Getting busy.
The title for this session was Pastors, Wives,
and Revival.
Well, I thought again now, that was not
a title that I chose, Lord.
How am I going to work this?
And so instead, you know what I've entitled
it, Does a Pastor's Wife Need Revival?
And the reason I did that, I remember
when we had a pastor's wife speak to
the pastor's wives at one of our conferences,
and that was the title that she gave,
Does a Pastor's Wife Need Revival?
And at that time I was not a
pastor's wife, and I thought this is going
to be interesting to find out what she
has to say.
I understood from her that a pastor's wife
has the same needs as other women.
And you know, I really believe that's true.
But she went on to say this, there
is one difference, and that is that she
is in a unique situation because she finds
herself in a leadership capacity whether she wants
to be or not.
Perhaps that's the only difference between a pastor's
wife and any other woman.
We all need revival, I believe.
I read an article once, and it was
more or less discussed in this article, I
believe it was the Sainted Pastor's Wife, that
was the article.
And she said in there that she found
so much of the time that pastor's wives
were discontent.
And I thought, why would that be?
You know, in the past I thought it
must be wonderful to be a pastor's wife.
How exciting to always be in the work
of the Lord.
But already I've begun to find out some
of the problems.
And I realize that it could be very
easy to become discontent if you do not
feel that you're in the place that God
wants you to be.
Perhaps one of the things that we find
is the biggest problem is that the woman
did not marry a pastor.
I found this to be so often the
truth in a prayer room when I've been
dealing with a pastor's wife.
She did not marry a pastor.
She married perhaps an engineer, or she married
a factory worker perhaps, or whatever.
He was not a pastor when she married
him.
And when God called him to the pastorate,
in her heart she never felt called to
that.
And from all I could understand from different
ones that I've prayed with, perhaps that man
did not wait until God made it clear
to her too.
He just decided on his own, I'm going
to be a pastor, and she was supposed
to go along with him.
Now, I'm sure that you know as well
as I do that temperaments enter into it
a lot.
And if you have a strong, choleric husband
who says, this is the way it's going
to be, then what's it going to take
on your part?
Well, I would imagine that the woman would
have had to have said, Lord, I do
not feel yet that that's for me.
But he insists on it, so you're going
to have to work in my heart in
life, and you're going to have to prepare
me for this.
But you know what usually happens in a
situation like this?
Both are just knocking heads.
She's refusing to accept it as God's will,
and he's refusing to listen to what she
has to say.
I've dealt with so many pastor's wives who
were in that position.
I remember one especially in Grand Rapids.
She and her husband had been in the
pastorate for at least, I'll say, 15 years.
I can't remember exactly.
And I had known of them years before
they went to Grand Rapids.
They had been in our area.
And you know, you could always kind of
tell that woman was not really happy.
I don't know how to explain it.
It was always like she had a chip
on her shoulder, or sort of like she
was untouchable.
You just couldn't seem to get near her.
And I didn't understand it.
Again, I'm one of those that easily could
walk away from that and not pay any
attention to them.
But when I talked with that woman later,
I began to understand the whole situation, and
God broke her heart in a wonderful way
in one of the crusades there in Grand
Rapids.
The whole thing was that she had not
married a pastor.
And she had resented it the whole 15
years or so that they had been married.
And she admitted she had been more of
a hindrance to his ministry than she had
ever been a help.
In fact, she used to even pray that
his ministry would not be good because she
wanted them to have to get out of
it.
How could God bless in a situation like
that?
No wonder there are so many churches, perhaps,
that are having problems if that's the situation.
In that article where this woman interviewed many
pastor's wives, she said her greatest surprise came
in their answer to, what is your greatest
need as the wife of a minister?
I've got wife of a minister's wife.
How do you like that?
What is your greatest need as the wife
of a minister?
Now listen to this.
My greatest need is a social life.
Now that's interesting, isn't it?
I can see that.
I can see how that you might be
totally isolated as a pastor's wife.
Because I've heard pastors say that at school
they were told you can't get close to
your parishioners.
You know, you just can't get too buddy
-buddy.
You have to sort of stand away from
that.
And as a layperson, I always felt like
I wanted to get to know my pastor's
wife better, but I always felt like I
couldn't.
You know, that she was above me.
And I can see, I'm sure that we
have lots of laypeople here today, and I'm
sure that many of you have gone through
that same thing where you didn't feel like
you could really be close to your pastor's
wife.
Their social life, I can understand that's a
very important thing.
She said others said, you know, they'd like
to be able to say let's go shopping
or let's go out for dinner.
Sometimes they said something about bowling or swimming
with some of the other women.
But they, and they said they even felt
guilty if they suggested just going window shopping.
And then she said there were others who
said they had nothing more to do than
window shop.
That's kind of sad, isn't it?
What kind of a situation is it in
a church where a pastor's wife doesn't feel
she can even have any fellowship with anybody
else?
She said, this one who was interviewing said,
I said to some of them, you must
look forward to pastors and wives retreats only.
Pastors and wives only retreats.
Their answer was this, well, yes, except I
wish there wasn't so much stress on praying
over our problems.
And I thought about that.
It's interesting.
That's helpful to me as a lay person.
They probably would like to get away from
those problems a little bit.
She said, I definitely want prayer, of course,
but mostly I just like the time to
relax at a retreat.
I think that Nina and Grace Copeland and
Grace McCready and some of us that are
on the team can agree to that.
Often we have retreats for our team.
And you know what we do?
We sit in meetings all day long.
And so we've finally gotten the fellas to
really think it over.
Thanks, Grace.
And they're doing better on that.
They're giving us a little more time for
relaxation.
Another one of the complaints was that the
parsonage seems to be a drop-in place.
Said, people drop in while I'm still in
my bathrobe at nine o'clock.
It's my husband's day off.
And he says, let's sleep in.
And then, you know, all of a sudden
here comes somebody dropping in.
Now she said, did you ever think about
a minister being out until two o'clock
in the morning?
You know, ministering to someone.
Maybe he gets called out again at five
a.m. At nine o'clock, he decides
to relax over a cup of coffee, but
somebody drops in.
And perhaps it's a board member.
And he drops in with a business matter.
And then he goes back and reports and
says, here were the pastor and his wife
drinking coffee at nine o'clock, and it
wasn't even his day off.
She said also in this article that pastor's
wife said they wished that their children could
be allowed to be successes too, and also
failures.
And I thought about that.
I can remember a few of my pastor's
wives, their families, and their children, and some
of the different situations, and how difficult it
must have been.
Says, some treat your house as a continual
open house and expect instant refreshments and unlimited
attentions.
Now, I don't know, ladies.
As I said, I still have all this
to look forward to.
So perhaps you can help me on that.
But if you were a wife first, and
then you became a pastor's wife, it might
be good for you to ask God to
search your heart as to what your real
reaction is to this.
If you really are happy to be in
that position, or if you are resenting it.
You know, it's so easy to have resentment
in our heart and not realize it, because
we can call it everything else.
One time there was a laywoman that gave
12 qualities that she looked for in a
pastor's wife.
And I want to read them to you.
The idea of a woman who never formed
cliques.
One who was always available.
One who really trusted God.
A pastor's wife who never seemed to be
anxious.
One who had a quiet spirit.
One who did not hit you over the
head with her spirituality.
One who was very supportive to her husband.
One who did not try to compete with
her husband for the limelight.
One whose husband and wife's lives were well
balanced.
And the 12th one was that she had
that outstanding quality, which is the one where
she truly loves God, and where he comes
first, and all else seems to fall in
place.
I pulled this out of my notes that
I had taken some time ago, and I
thought, Lord, that's quite a list.
And I began to look at it for
myself, and pray that God would make me
this kind of a person.
That I might not be one who would
be a part of a clique.
That's so easy to do it, isn't it?
See, and I think that's perhaps what most
pastor's wives are afraid of, that if they
get friendly with any of the people in
their church too friendly, then it's going to
be looked on as a clique.
I think you can have close friends in
your congregation and still not have a clique.
I think it's very possible, and I think
it's what God would have.
Out of all of these, though, I found
myself thinking a quiet spirit.
God talks about that being very precious in
the sight of God.
A quiet spirit.
As we've often talked about in Revival, a
quiet spirit does not necessarily mean one who
never opens her mouth.
One who does not talk.
That can be one who has an inferiority
complex, which we know is what?
It's pride.
Which is what?
Sin.
Right.
And so it isn't necessarily that we're saying
that to have a quiet spirit, you have
to be quiet and never open your mouth.
But it also means that to know when
to be quiet.
When to keep silence.
And for myself, that is a chore.
I received a letter back in September 1982,
and I'm going to read you the first
part, and then I'm going to talk some
more about other things, and then I'll come
back to it, because I just loved it
when I started to read it.
You know, you get some letters, and you
read a little bit, and you think, I
don't know if I want to read the
rest or not.
Dear Doris, I do hope you are getting
caught up on your rest.
Seems like that's still going.
Someday I'm going to get caught up on
my rest.
I don't know when.
I do hope you're getting caught up on
your rest this week, although I suppose the
time will go fast preparing for your next
trip.
Before time sweeps away my good intentions, I
want to write and let you know what
an encouragement your ministry has been to me.
It has been a tremendous blessing to me
just watching you relate to women of all
ages on all levels, treating each one as
important individuals.
That is a rare and precious gift.
And as I read that, I thought, thank
you, Lord.
But you know, when you get that, you're
already waiting for the, I thought, what's going
to come next?
Please forgive me when I say this, but
when I first saw you at Rive's 1981
Freedom Rally, I didn't like you.
That's happened a lot.
My husband had been to the pastor's meetings
prior to the rally and came home on
Saturday night all excited.
I was happy for him, but none of
it rubbed off on me.
Remember what Pastor Broom said about praying for
your partner when you meet God in revival?
Well, remember this now.
He went back all excited.
She says, then we went back together for
the Labor Day services.
Shortly after arriving, I found myself in a
room full of unfamiliar faces, all pastor's wives
and full-time workers.
There was one somewhat familiar face, but I
hardly knew her, so I sat alone.
Not having been in any of the previous
services, I wondered what all this sharing was
about.
Did these ladies just come in for the
day like I did and suddenly open up
their heart for everyone to see, exposing their
sins and weaknesses?
I would never do that, although I did
find it interesting to listen to others admit
their faults.
And then you came bouncing in all sparkly
and bright-eyed, apologizing for being a little
late.
You had been counseling someone.
You took over the meeting.
Not realizing you were the moderator, my quick,
critical nature thought, who does she think she
is to march in here and invite herself
to elaborate on what others have just said?
Does she have to preach after every comment?
Well, I didn't want to go any further.
And I'm going to stop there for a
minute.
Because isn't it true how often we sit
quietly and observe and make judgments?
I mean, I'm guilty of it.
You see, as I read it, that's one
reason it hit me so hard.
I'm so guilty of it.
I may not say anything out loud, but
in my heart, I can make judgments.
And I can think, boy, oh boy, you
know, this is pretty bad.
I did.
If you remember my testimony, dear old Dr.
Brock up there singing and he couldn't stay
on one note hardly.
He just quivered so.
And I remember thinking, boy, that's pitiful.
Well, you saw some pitiful singing from me
yesterday.
So anyhow, it was terrible the way I
criticized him in my heart.
And then to find out later that that's
who God was going to use in my
heart to break my heart with his song,
let God have his way.
He knows what is best.
Let God have his way.
He'll give you sweet rest.
Let God have his way.
Then you'll surely be blessed.
This moment, let God have his way.
And Dr. Brock was the composer of Beyond
the Sunset.
See, now, if I'd have known who he
was, oh, I wouldn't have found anything wrong,
would I?
How we make our judgments, God looks where?
On the heart.
I'm so glad he does.
Because I'll tell you, I could fool him
maybe once in a while on the outside,
but I can't fool him in my heart.
God knows exactly what's there.
As I think of women, my desire is
that they might come to know God in
a special way.
I think of another pastor's wife, who in
fact is the one that I told you
used this title, Does a Pastor's Wife Need
Revival?
Her attitude was this, that she needed revival,
but she didn't know it.
Well, isn't that true of most of us?
I needed revival desperately in 1972, but I
didn't know I needed revival.
I knew I needed something, but I didn't
know it was that.
And as she shared her testimony, she admitted
that when this all came about in her
life, to become a pastor's wife, the family
was older, and that was part of the
problem.
Her children were teenagers, some of them, and
there was great frustration over it.
And I think perhaps it would be because
again, as I've talked with pastor's wives, often
you live in a parsonage that is inadequate.
There's not enough room, or the closets are
small, it only has one bathroom perhaps, and
it just doesn't measure up to other people's
homes, and yet you're supposed to be just
delighted to have it.
Things go wrong and so forth.
But she was quite frustrated, and yet she
said they were all in agreement about it.
They did have a lovely home, and they
never wanted to go back to their former
life.
She says, and yet in spite of this,
she built up a resentment toward the pastorate.
She became very tired and remained so most
of the time, even though she got plenty
of rest.
Do you know what?
If you're fighting God's will in your life,
you can get eight hours a night and
still be exhausted all the time.
Physical exhaustion can come because of a mental
situation.
Your attitude toward your life and the position
that God has placed you in, has allowed
you to be in.
She said the doctor gave her pills, said
she needed a mood elevator.
She needed something that would lift her up.
She said, I took one to three a
day, but she said, you know, all it
did was took me down further, and I
began sleeping around the clock.
Oh, you know, ladies, that's one of the
first signs of depression, is when you start
staying in bed, don't want to get up.
Finally, she said, I realized that the burden
of trying to please the people was part
of my problem.
I can relate to that.
I have been a people pleaser all my
life, you know, try to please people.
And why?
So that they'll like you, right?
So that they'll think you're great, and they'll
love you, they'll want to be with you.
People pleaser.
That's never what God intended.
But she said, finally, I gave it over
to the Lord during the revival in Pekin.
And here it comes, she says, we were
talking on our way home in the car,
and she said, we both knew that there
was something wrong.
We just discussed it, and yet never got
right down to what the problem was.
But yet each one in their heart knew
that there was something wrong there.
So one night during the revival, they went
to the prayer room.
She said, we prayed Psalm 139, 23, and
24.
And you know what that is?
Search me, oh God, and know my heart.
Try me and know my thoughts and see
if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
When you come to the place where you
pray that kind of a prayer, do you
think that you're going to have any more
doubts about what the problem is?
Do you think there's going to be any
more confusion?
If you wait on the Lord, wait for
him as he searches your heart, it won't
take him long.
It may take you a while to know
what he's trying to get at.
But it doesn't take God long at all
to put his finger on the problems in
your life, on the sin in your life.
Well, one of the things that she found
out was that she had built up a
resentment over the years.
See, again, it doesn't happen overnight.
It's not that one day you're happy as
a lark and everything's wonderful, and the next
day you're full of resentment.
No.
It's like building this cement wall.
It's not that all of a sudden all
of those cement blocks are there, but it
has to start out one at a time,
and another one placed on it, and another
one placed on it.
And when we do not knock down those
blocks, when we do not deal with them,
all of a sudden there's a wall of
resentment or bitterness or whatever in our lives.
Another thing she found out, she found out
that she had taken up an offense for
her children, and that's easy to do, isn't
it?
I think sometimes it's easier for us to
take criticism about ourselves than it is for
us to hear anything against our children or
our husbands.
We can listen to it for ourselves and
think, oh, well, that's too bad.
You know, if they don't like it, that's
just too bad.
But for our children or our husbands, we're
almost ready to fight, aren't we?
An offense for her children.
And then what was interesting, like a lot
of women, she was her husband's critic.
She felt it was her duty as a
good wife, and she says it caused a
real wedge between the two of them.
She says, I felt he needed it, and
yet, she says, he did not seem to
appreciate it.
You know, it's interesting because when I was
in college and took speech, I remember one
of the things that happened after you gave
your speech was what?
Do you remember?
They critiqued you.
And I remember, you see this nice little
crease right here in my forehead?
That was always one of the critiques.
They said, she frowns.
And I couldn't understand what they were talking
about, but now I do.
See, there it is.
But you know, that's hard, isn't it, when
you stand up in front and you're doing
the very best that you know how, and
then afterwards, all of these people start saying,
well, you didn't do this or you should
have done that, and you know it's to
make you a better speaker.
And of course, I don't know about you,
but I can remember most of the kids
in our class didn't even want to be
there in the first place, but it was
required of you.
You had to take speech.
But to be in that class if you
didn't want to in the first place, and
then to have people sort of tear you
apart, that's rough.
I wonder if perhaps a pastor does not
feel sometimes like he's on trial.
It's so important how we critique someone.
And I think we have to be so
careful, and I'm speaking to myself, ladies, believe
me.
We have to be so careful that when
we do it, we're doing it because we're
filled with God's Spirit.
And it's not just because it's something we
want or don't want that we're saying it,
but it's because we feel it's what God
would have us to say.
And that it's going to build our husband
up, not tear him down.
That's going to help him.
It says that God showed her she was
wrong and that she must give her husband
to Jesus.
Well, again, that's not easy, is it?
You think you give him to the Lord.
I can remember back years ago after I'd
surrendered my life to the Lord, and three
days later, Susan, my daughter, surrendered her life
to the Lord through a morning service.
It was in Covenant Community in Redford Township
in Michigan that God touched my heart and
life on a Thursday evening, August the 17th.
And I remember I didn't get home until
about midnight because it was 25 miles away.
And after the whole thing was over, they
have a sharing time, and it was just
such a wonderful time.
I really didn't care what time I got
home.
But when I came in, my daughter, all
the lights were out, she'd gone to bed,
but she was worried about me.
Isn't it interesting that we tend to worry
about our children when they're out and don't
report in, but don't think anything of it.
I remember one time my kids really chiding
me about that.
They said, Mom, when we don't come home,
you get upset with us.
She said, we're supposed to call you and
let you know.
And I realized that they worried about me
a little bit.
But anyhow, I walked in the house, and
Susan said, Mom, where have you been?
She knew I'd gone to the meetings, but
who ever heard of meetings lasting until 12
o'clock at night?
And she started to turn on the lights.
And I said, honey, just leave the lights
off.
I guess I just didn't feel like I
could face her face to face in the
light and talk to her.
And so she said, oh, okay.
And I know that she knew that something
had happened because she could sense it in
my spirit.
But I remember that I asked Susan to
forgive me for not being the kind of
a mother that I should have been.
And I don't know to what extent it
went, but we had a precious time just
sitting there in the dark.
And I just told her that God had
really broken my heart that night and shown
me myself as he had seen me, and
that God had really done something new in
my heart and life, and that I wanted
to be a better mother.
And she was in her early 20s.
But anyhow, on that Sunday, I was already
scheduled to sing.
And I remember telling our pastor that God
had really done something new in my life
at the meetings.
And he knew about Ralph and Lucitara because
he'd had them in his former church in
the western side of Michigan.
And I said, pastor, I said, since I'm
supposed to sing, would you mind if I
just give a short testimony?
And ladies, as much as I talk, believe
it or not, I never did anything like
that.
I could talk about everything, but I couldn't
get up and give a message or anything
to anybody.
That was just not me.
But the pastor said, yes, that would be
fine.
And so I remember that I got up
to speak, and I maybe spoke just a
few minutes, and then I sang, Let God
Have His Way.
And afterwards, I sat down, and the pastor
got up and said, you know, I don't
think that we need the morning sermon.
But he said, I'm supposed to sing He
Giveth More Grace, and I'm going to sing
it.
And that was interesting because that was a
song that was sort of connected with me
at that church.
I was always being requested to sing He
Giveth More Grace, and I thought, I was
sitting there thinking, oh, Lord, it's just like
you planned this whole thing for me.
And as he sang, though, his wife walked
out with tears streaming down her face.
And you know, again, at my heart, I
just can't explain the change that had taken
over and taken place in my life.
And of course, I guess those of you
that have had that new experience in your
life of where God really meets you anew
and afresh and changes you completely, you can
understand what I'm talking about.
But I would never before have ever thought
that I could help my pastor's wife.
And yet that morning, I felt God was
saying, go out there and see if she
needs you.
As I walked to the back of the
church, I didn't see her.
I didn't know what had happened.
So I remember asking our head usher if
he knew where the pastor's wife is.
Well, I think she wants to be alone.
And I thought, oh, well, okay.
So I just stepped aside, you know, and
waited back there.
And it was just like God's Holy Spirit
spoke to him immediately.
And he was over by my side within
just a few seconds and said, Doris, I'm
sorry.
He says, if you feel that you should
be with her, he said, I don't want
to stand in the way.
He said, she's out in the car in
the parking lot.
And I went out there and I just,
when I got there, I just said, is
there anything I can help you with?
You know, I just felt like she needed
just to have a friend.
And you know what it was?
It was a problem of her children.
There was a need there and yet she
didn't feel she could tell anyone why.
People expect the pastor's children to be perfect.
They're not supposed to ever have any problems.
They're supposed to be perfect.
And as I listened, and I can honestly
tell you right now, I don't even remember
what the problems were, but as I listened,
I just let her know that I loved
her and that I would pray and that
I would be available if she needed me.
And we couldn't have been out there more
than 15 minutes.
And I saw all these people coming out
of the church and I thought, how in
the world can the service be over already?
Well, as I went back in, I was
looking for my daughter and I said to
somebody, have you seen Susan?
And they said, oh yeah, she went forward.
Do you know that after the pastor finished
singing, he gave an invitation and 12 people
went forward and Susan was one of them.
She said to me, mom, I decided if
God could do something new in your life,
maybe he could do something new in my
life.
Now, the reason I share this with you
is because I had been talking about this
pastor's wife giving her husband to the Lord.
I gave Susan to the Lord.
You see, that's one of the things I
told her that Thursday night was that I
had given her to the Lord and God
did a beautiful work in her heart.
But you know what?
Over the next few weeks and months and
years, I gradually would take her back and
I would begin to start telling her, you
know, what she should do and how to
live basically.
I suppose I don't even remember.
It was just obvious that I was taking
her back and God really broke my heart
over it one day.
And I went to Susan and I said,
honey, I want you to forgive me.
I think I've taken you back.
And she said, yeah, mom, you have.
She didn't have to think about it at
all.
She didn't have to guess.
She knew.
You can do that without even realizing it.
So revival, again, is not a one time
thing.
It's not like any of us on the
team think that we're perfect.
I think so often people who are on
the outside looking in tend to think that
we think we're perfect because they know that
revival is our ministry.
But we're not.
We're still seeing God change us moment by
moment, day by day.
And when we don't allow him to change
us, when we become hard or resentful ourselves,
and then you know what?
Then it's just like the potter who has
that hard lump of clay.
You know what they do with it when
they can't work with it?
But they do.
They put it aside for a while.
God sometimes has to put us aside if
we're not allowing him to continue to work
in us.
Well, also God revealed to this pastor's wife
that her self-consciousness was sin.
She wanted to stay behind the scenes.
And yet down deep, she really wanted to
run things.
Any of you ever experienced that?
You know, you're trying to act so sweet
and loving and not interested in doing anything,
but back behind it all, you're saying, boy,
that's not the way to do it.
You know, and if I could get in
there, I could show him how to do
it.
Do any of you understand that kind of
thing?
She said in the meantime, after she had
really surrendered all of these things to the
Lord and admitted that they were sin and
had thanked God for his forgiveness, she said
the church was really affected as a result.
Women wanted to start prayer groups for their
unsaved husbands.
And you know what happened?
Five husbands all were saved.
Then she says there was a change in
our home.
She says, I found out that my husband
worked best when our home was peaceful, neat,
and quiet.
And knowing her, I wouldn't have thought that
she'd have had to work at that very
much.
She already seemed like that kind of a
person to me.
She said, I realized that he must be
able to relax.
And so she said, I wanted our home,
try to make our home that kind of
a home.
And then she said, I told the kids
that I had put them in the Lord's
hands as well.
And she said, I became relaxed and began
to blossom for the Lord.
Now, she said, I had no one to
please but whom?
God.
She says, always I had a merry heart
before, but now more than ever, I had
a merry heart.
And I was able to be the same
person at home that I was at the
church.
One pastor's wife.
Well, then there was a lady in Ontario,
Oakville, couldn't think there for a moment, Oakville,
Ontario.
And I remember this dear person, I just
loved this pastor's wife right from the beginning.
And again, you know, we don't come into
the church thinking, well, now we're sure this
pastor and his wife, they have need of
revival.
And this person has need of revival.
And you know, we really don't.
But you know what it is?
We just know that most churches are all
alike.
We all have needs.
And so we go in with the idea
that hopefully they'll all have open hearts.
And if they have a need, that they'll
allow God to meet it.
And so as I was with this pastor's
wife, I just loved her.
And basically she seemed like she was a
very happy pastor's wife.
She and her husband seemed to get along
well and everything, which I found out they
did.
But you know what her problem was?
She was a worrier.
And that was not real obvious to me.
She did a good job of hiding it.
She worried all the time.
She said, I had the what iffies.
And everybody, we did just like you, we
laughed.
She said, yeah, I think, well, what if
that doesn't go right?
Or what if that goes wrong?
Or what if she doesn't do this?
And what if he doesn't do that?
And on top of it all, she had
three sons and a husband, all four men.
Now, that's kind of rough.
But God showed her that even though that
seemed like a minor thing, it was sin.
It was really not trusting God with all
of those situations.
What iffies?
Then there was another pastor's wife from Chicago.
And I remember when we went to their
church, it was soon after I had surrendered
my life to the Lord.
And several of us went on teams in
those days to different parts of the country.
And I was on a team with several
people I didn't even know.
And we went to Chicago to have this
time.
And I remember that after I'd given my
testimony and there had been a message given
and an invitation to the prayer room, that
many people went to the prayer room.
And I really didn't know the pastor's wife
because, again, we didn't really get to know
the people that quickly.
It was just a weekend situation.
And so as it was, the person in
charge asked me to kneel by this lady.
And I knelt by her, a young woman.
And she was really broken before the Lord.
And why?
She was a pastor's wife, but she didn't
have half the nice furniture that the other
women had.
And her home wasn't as nice as everybody
else's home.
And she had children, but they didn't have
all the things that others had.
And it was such a bitterness in her
heart of how unfair it seemed that they
expected so much of their pastor and his
wife, even to entertaining and everything, but yet
they didn't have the money to do it
with.
And they didn't have the home to do
it in and so forth.
And oh, God broke her heart.
And she just opened up so beautifully.
And God really began a change in her
life.
But I'll say within a year or so,
I can't remember how it was, but it
was at Pekin, Illinois.
I remember that it happened.
She came to the Flames of Freedom rally
there.
I don't know if we called it that
in those days or not.
I can't remember what we called it.
Anyhow, she came.
And I remember that when they gave an
invitation at one of the meetings, I went
to the prayer room, as usual, as one
of the prayer partners.
And the room was crowded.
I would imagine there were 100 people in
that prayer room.
And out of all those people, who did
the person in charge put me with?
Put this same woman.
And as I started to walk over, I
recognized her.
And I thought, oh, no, Lord, I already
dealt with her before.
It was like the Lord said, you just
go.
And I remember as I knelt by her
and she looked up, she just hugged me.
And she began to cry.
It was as though I was the one
she could open up to.
And, you know, it was funny.
She said, I know, Doris, that I gave
all of that to the Lord.
But, you know, it was still, it had
started eating away at her again.
What is it?
What do you think it is that causes
things like that?
When we stop and think about it, it's
usually the sins that we don't hear much
preaching on.
Until just lately, perhaps.
But it's jealousy and envy.
And that eats away.
The scripture says that it'll rot your bones.
It'll rot your bones to be jealous and
envious.
And I remember that night, once again, God
just touched her heart in a new way.
And would you believe it?
A third time at Rives Junction.
Same thing happened.
I went to the prayer room when the
invitation was given and the person sent me
over.
And I thought, oh, no, not again.
Same person.
And that time, it was more or less
just a further consecration of her own life
and heart to the Lord.
And if I were to tell you who
it was, you'd know.
I'm not going to tell you.
We don't do that.
But you know what?
We became prayer partners.
Precious prayer partners.
We don't see each other.
Hardly ever do we see each other.
We even hardly ever write.
But I know she prays for me and
I pray for her.
Oh, does a pastor's wife need revival?
Does any woman need revival?
Remember the letter that I started to read
to you in the beginning?
I want to finish it now.
She says, after observing this strange, and she's
got it in quotes, meeting for a couple
of hours, things began to take shape.
I saw that all these ladies were hurting.
They all had different needs and hurts and
were not ashamed to bring them out into
the open.
I was impressed with their transparency.
To make a very long story short, the
Lord began a work in my heart that
was to continue until the 1982 rally in
Mansfield, Ohio.
I eagerly attended, fully expecting the Lord to
finish the work he had begun, Philippians 1,
6.
You know, being confident of this very thing
that he who has begun a good work
in you will perform it until the day
of Jesus Christ.
And she says, as you know, he did
just that and more.
And then I looked forward to the pastor's
wife's meeting scheduled on Labor Day.
Some of those same ladies were there and
again they shared.
Only this time I was excited about how
God was working in their lives.
Their growth and confidence in the Lord was
extremely evident since last year.
Others were new to the group and my
heart went out to them because I felt
I knew what they were experiencing.
I prayed for one lady in particular who
was in the exact same position I was
in last year, wondering, confused, criticizing, seeking.
I trust next year there will be a
big change in her life also.
One other change was my attitude towards you.
No longer were you the strong, overconfident, know
-it-all I thought you were last year.
It's plain, isn't it?
But a dear, sweet, sensitive person who is
just as human as I am.
I was moved with your willingness to share
your weaknesses and especially the little glimpse into
your feelings of loneliness or rather how God
has called you to a life of aloneness.
That's changed.
My heart could relate to that.
I wanted to shout, I will be your
friend with no strings attached.
Isn't that neat?
I wish she had shouted it.
In the meantime, she did write a poem
about that to me.
When God called us into the ministry, she
said seven years ago, he began stripping me
of my, quote, treasures, unquote, one by one.
Some being my dearest friends.
Being the kind of a person that needed
at least one friend that I could, quote,
let my hair down with, unquote, without her
thinking I was unspiritual, I became depressed.
At one point there was such a friend
and then she went to Africa as a
missionary.
I was happy for her but sorry for
me.
I was back again to loneliness.
Loneliness.
Sure I was busy, terribly busy, but there
were times when I wanted to call a
friend or her call me and just unload.
Not to gossip but to share our ups
and downs.
Not only did I have a close friend
but very little fellowship.
Not only did I not have a close
friend but very little fellowship at all.
In five and one half years not one
lady ever invited me to do one thing.
That broke my heart.
Now, I'm sure it's because they were like
me.
I wouldn't invite my pastor's wife at that
time to do anything because I think that,
well, you know, she's got lots of people
that she can do things with.
Isn't it something how we hold back instead
of just letting God use us in the
way that he would like to?
She says, occasionally I would ask someone to
go to lunch and so forth but never
did anyone initiate it.
I'm not criticizing them.
It wasn't because they didn't love us.
They had their friends and a busy life
and just didn't know they could minister to
me in this way.
Most of the other pastor's wives I knew
in the area had close friends within their
church or were content to be left alone
which produced guilt feelings in me for not
being content also.
You know, I can even identify with this
business of asking someone to lunch but no
one ever initiating it.
Back before something happened to me, I used
to say to them, let them know that
you have a need.
Let them know that you need a friend
and that you would like to have them
be your friend and all that.
Do you know, ladies, that there is a
person that I know very well and had
her over to my house for lunch with
a pastor's wife.
In fact, at that time it was Bob's
wife, Jean.
I remember that while Jean was in the
bathroom kind of repairing her makeup because they
were going out that I said to this
person, I need you.
I really do.
She was a widow also.
Had children and was busy with those children
but I let her know that I needed
her.
You know, everybody does get the idea that
I had no needs and I guess because
basically I am a happy person and it
doesn't come across that I am.
She gave up her newborn son and later
a precious 16-year-old son.
How many times do you suppose there's a
heavy heart and you might find fault with
the person.
They don't act the way you want them
to or they are sort of snooty I
think or hard to get to know or
whatever but you don't really know what's in
their heart.
And I'm going to tell you, this was
the kind of a person that I thought
she was.
Very cold I thought in the beginning.
Kind of standoffish and everything.
And as we got to talking and she
said to me that she could identify a
little bit with me being a widow.
She said I have a husband but she
said I've lost two children.
You know, I don't know if my mouth
dropped but that's the way I felt.
Why?
I couldn't identify with her.
I still had my two children.
And the hurt that must have been in
that mother's heart to lose a newborn baby.
And then later, the story that she told
me of how she lost her son.
Perfectly healthy 16-year-old and she and
her husband and family had moved to Florida
in a pastorate and back in the backwoods
or someplace there was like a pool where
the kids could go swimming and they didn't
know anything about it and he went back
there and do you know, imagine, the water
was stagnant and he got some kind of
a germ through that water and died.
You know, it just seems so, like how
does that happen to a pastor's family?
You know, if you'd have gotten even struck
by a car you might be able to
understand it better.
But to just go innocently into where you
think it's a nice little pool of water
to swim and to get that.
This mother had really suffered and she was
telling the Lord, I gave enough when I
gave up my home of 20 years moving
hundreds of miles away from family and friends,
when I gave up my newborn son and
later a precious 16-year-old son and
then sacrificing my private life to live a
fishbowl existence open for scrutiny and criticism.
I felt the very least God could do
for me was give me a loyal friend
but when I quit struggling and let him
deal with me, he revealed there were important
lessons to be learned.
To be learned how?
Through my testing of loneliness.
I am learning to be sensitive to the
needs of others, especially the friendless.
How to be a friend, not just have
one.
He is teaching me the value of my
husband's friendship and the most valuable lesson of
all, what a friend we have in Jesus.
Precious woman, I want to read you just
one of the poems that I have of
hers.
Our Rose.
God sent into our home one day a
rose of royal strain.
Its countenance was bright and gay.
Its stay a sweet refrain.
Our rose grew tall in strength and grace.
It brought us so much joy that God
should manifest his face in lending us this
boy.
The years sped by from birth to teens,
the rose that God had given was plucked
by him one noonday fair and planted in
his heaven.
The rose we had is now his own
to grace his garden fair.
That distant land seems more like home now
that our rose is there.
So God is using that one.
By the way, at the bottom of the
letter it says, Doris, you have my permission
to use this.
So again, it's not like I am sharing
something with you that I shouldn't.
Well, there's one other I want to just
talk to you about, and that is a
dear missionary who's gone since to be with
the Lord.
Some of you have read her book, Filled
with the Spirit, Then What?
Mabel Francis.
You know, it's very difficult when there are
rumors being spread about you.
And perhaps you've heard that, some of you
as pastor's wives.
You've heard things that are not true, that
have been said about you, and it's so
hard to deal with things like that, isn't
it?
And yet here was a dear saint of
God, a missionary for 50 years in Japan.
I'm not sure how long she'd been a
missionary at the time of this, but she
had been a missionary for years and years
and years, and her brother was the head
of the mission, and he'd gone to New
York on business.
And while he was gone, another woman's husband
was put in charge, and she began to
spread this rumor about Mabel Francis.
The rumor was that she was immoral, and
Mabel Francis was a single woman, never had
been married.
Supposedly she was having an affair with some
man.
Well, in the scripture, we are told in
Matthew 5, one of the Beatitudes says that
when evil is spoken of you, what are
you to do?
You're to rejoice and be exceedingly glad.
When you are persecuted, and evil is being
spoken about you, God says, you're to rejoice
and be exceedingly glad.
That's not easy, is it?
Well, how did God deal with her?
He showed her Colossians 3.13, and I
want you to turn to it, and we'll
read it out of God's word, and then
I want to share with you what the
Japanese translation is of it.
Colossians 3.13 says, Forbearing one another, and
forgiving one another, if any man have a
quarrel against you, against any, even as Christ
forgave you, so also do ye.
Now, the Japanese translation says this, if any
man have a cause to blame another, forgive
him.
Well, Mabel Francis read that, and God broke
her heart.
She forgave the person, even though she didn't
understand what God was doing, was asking of
her.
Then she began to read in 1 Peter
2, 9 through 20, and I want us
to just read it, because I think it's
important for us to realize that we are
a royal priesthood.
Verse 9 through verse 20, But ye are
a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, and holy
nation, a people of his own, that you
should show forth the praises of him who
have called you out of darkness into his
marvelous light, who in time past were not
a people, but are now the people of
God, who had not obtained mercy, but now
have obtained mercy.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as sojourners and
pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts which war against
the soul, having your behavior honest among the
Gentiles, that whereas they speak against you as
evildoers, they may by your good works, which
they shall behold, glorify God in the day
of visitation.
Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for
the Lord's sake, whether it be to the
king as supreme, or unto governors as unto
them that are sent by him for the
punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of
them that do well.
For so is the will of God that
with well-doing you may put to silence
the ignorance of foolish men, as free, and
not using your liberty for a cloak of
maliciousness, but as the servants of God.
Honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God,
honor the king.
Servants, be subject to your masters with all
fear, not only to the good and gentle,
but also to the perverse or the unreasonable.
For this is thankworthy if a man for
conscience toward God endured grief, suffering wrongfully.
For what glory is it if when you
are buffeted for your faults you shall take
it patiently?
But if when you do well and suffer
for it, you take it patiently, this is
acceptable with God.
Well, Mabel Francis realized that this was what
God was wanting of her.
She was a child of the king, and
she was representing him, and it was important
how she handled this.
And as a result of God's dealing with
her, he began to bring to light many
things.
He showed her her heart, and that's when
it's hard, ladies.
I can attest to that, and I'm sure
many of you could.
Evil, the evil that was there, he began
to show her.
Envy, jealousy, suspicion.
And she wasn't aware of any of these
things before this.
She thought basically she was a good Christian.
We could go into detail as to the
kind of things that he showed her, how
she was jealous over somebody else having charge
of the service when she thought she was
supposed to have charge of it.
Little things that maybe you wouldn't even think
of normally with a missionary.
But God began to show her that he
had allowed this hurting experience in her life
in order for her to humble herself and
be broken so that she could recognize these
traits.
Have you ever wondered why God was allowing
you to go through certain things?
Have you ever come to the place where
you felt so sorry for yourself that you
felt like you were just in a pit?
I have.
Self-pity is one of the worst sins
there is.
It'll destroy you.
It'll take you right down.
She had to realize how alive her old
nature still was.
Here she was teaching death to self.
She was Christian Missionary Alliance, and that is
definitely their doctrine.
And she was teaching it, and yet in
herself she realized that she was still so
much alive in that old nature.
She realized that Christ said it is crucified,
but she was not experiencing that in herself.
She was not agreeing with God about it.
And then in Matthew 16, 24, it says
that we must deny ourselves and take up
his cross and what?
Follow him.
And she realized she was not doing that.
God showed her that when the uprising of
self, in other words, you know, someone hurts
us and boy, we're ready to stand up
for our rights, that what?
She was to go directly to Jesus.
She was not supposed to go first to
some friend and talk to them first about
it, but rather she was to go directly
to Jesus.
She was not to make any excuses.
Oh, I don't know about you, but I
can sure think of a lot of excuses
when I don't want to face the truth
that God is showing me about myself.
I believe that God has to bring experiences
into our lives so that we can see
where our old self is hiding.
Someone has said, when you really forgive a
wrong, it is gone.
True forgiveness does not put it away on
a shelf to be brought out at some
other time.
You know, that's so easy to do.
And Don Godfrey puts it this way, bitterness
has a memory.
Bitterness has a memory.
Mabel Francis was used of God mightily, and
yet he had to take her through a
very trying, hurting experience to even be able
to use her more to the extent that
he wanted to.
I want us to just end with one
other story, and that is of Charlene Wright,
who was supposed to be here this morning
with you.
I want to just share, some of you
might have heard it, but I want to
share with you, I know some of the
things that she would have shared with you.
Charlene and her husband, Bill Wright, came to
our conference in, is that Edmonton?
I'm trying to think, Edmonton.
And they came from Tucson, Arizona.
Even had to borrow coats in order to
come because they didn't own any winter coats,
and here they were coming in February to
Edmonton.
And I remember the night they came was
on the Wednesday night, like it would have
been like this past Wednesday night.
They came, and it was very late, and
there were very few of us still around.
And I remember that I was one of
the ones at the registration desk, and this
couple came in, and Ralph and Lou seemed
to know who they were, and they talked
with them a little bit.
And I remember asking them if they'd like
a cup of coffee.
And this woman was so rigid, you would
not believe it.
She said, you know, I thought, gee, what's
this, you know?
And again, you try to think, well, they're
tired, and they've been traveling, and you try
to think of all the reasons.
But I went to get the coffee, and
they came in, and he seemed to be
quite friendly.
And again, I'm thinking, well, it's probably their
temperaments.
You're trying to make all kinds of excuses
for why this is happening.
And we went back into one of the
offices, and Bill McCloud was having a session
on the radio, so we were all sitting
in there listening to that.
And I can't tell you, but I just
knew there was something really wrong in this
person's life.
I didn't know what it was.
I had no idea, but I thought, Lord,
this woman is a very unhappy person, I
could tell it.
And the next day, Lou got ahold of
me, and he said, Doris, there are real
problems in this marriage.
He said, get next to that gal and
try to work with her.
I said, hey, I tried last night.
I said, she just kind of let me
know she didn't want me.
Well, you know, that was part of my
job, to get next to her.
So I tried to be friendly to her,
but I didn't want to overwhelm her in
any way.
And I thought, you know, you try to
learn from experiences, and so I thought, I'll
try not to come on too strong.
And so I really just, when I would
see her, it would be nice, but I
didn't sit with her.
I didn't try to get in a corner
with her or anything.
In the meantime, the pastor, her husband, was
in the men's meeting during the weekend, and
he opened up to these men, and he
gave his testimony.
And what the situation was, and I didn't
know this, see, I hadn't heard it, okay,
so it was great that when God did
break her and brought her to me, into
the prayer room, then's when I heard the
story.
But the pastor told this story, and it's
on tape, I even played it last year
for some of you pastor's wives that were
there, I played part of it.
But he told how that he had treated
his wife terribly over the years that they
had been married.
That when he married her, she was a
lovely lady, you know, that he thought she
was very pretty and all that, but over
the years, he began to try to change
her.
He wanted her to dress this way and
do her hair differently, and he didn't go
into detail as much, he told me later,
but he did say that he began to
put her down, criticize her, and find fault
with her, and just knock every bit of
confidence out of her.
He wasn't aware he was doing it, you
know, he thought he was doing the right
thing, I suppose, but anyhow, nevertheless, that's what
was happening, till it had become a home
where it was just constant friction.
And she was to the place where she
just thought it was better to get out
of his life.
And the only reason they were still together
was because they, she didn't have the courage
to leave him, because of the church people
and everything, but in her heart, she just
felt she didn't love him anymore, that he'd
killed every bit of love for her, because
in the meantime, she'd had a mastectomy, so
she thought that made her less appealing to
him.
In the meantime, she'd gained weight, and so
that made her less appealing, and so she
just found herself thinking, you know, he couldn't
love me anymore, and I certainly don't love
him.
Well, this pastor, God began to break his
heart through his word and through messages he
was hearing, and then he heard through Christian
radio, their family life radio, about the Sutera
twins and their revival crusades, and he thought,
I've got to get there for it.
And I guess he'd even asked Charlene to
forgive him, and it was like, hey, no
way, you deserve to suffer for a while.
She wouldn't.
She wouldn't forgive him.
And the thing was, besides, she didn't really
believe him.
I mean, as far as she was concerned,
he had deceived her too many times, and
she just didn't feel she could believe him
anymore.
And this was the whole, can you imagine?
Here they come to a revival crusade conference,
and their people wanted them to come.
Their people paid their way up and back,
so maybe their people even knew a little
bit about it.
I don't know.
But this was the situation.
She was so hard in her heart, and
it was like she had already made up
her mind, no way, it's not going to
move me.
I'm here, but it's not going to move
me.
And all the time he was praying.
And I remember he shared later how he
said to her, honey, let's go to the
prayer room.
She didn't want to go.
And so he got up and by himself
went into the prayer room, and he felt
there were too many people, so he started
searching out a place, and as he went
down the hall and opened the door, he
found the office that Nina and Max were
using, and it was dark.
And he just left it dark, and he
said he felt prostrate on the floor, and
he just cried out to God, because he
knew her reaction was his fault, even though
by this time it wasn't what God wanted,
but he knew that basically he was to
blame for it.
And it was just broken, and he felt
like he'd done everything he knew how to
do.
He'd asked forgiveness.
He'd been trying to treat her better.
He'd just tried to make it up in
every way he could, but it was one
of those things where nothing was happening.
And so he was on his face before
the Lord, and he finally realized that God
was letting him know, you keep quiet.
I don't want you to say one more
word.
Don't ask her to go to the prayer
room.
Don't say anything.
Just let it go.
And as I recall, it was the Sunday
night before we left on Monday that when
the invitation was given, she turned to him,
and she said, do you think that I
could talk to Doris?
And he said, well, let's go see.
And out they went.
And I was standing in the doorway of
the prayer room, and she came up, and
it was funny.
Like I said, again, there I wasn't counseling
anybody or anything.
There I was, and so she came up,
and the pastor said, Doris, would you mind
talking to Charlene?
I said, well, no, come on in, and
went to the prayer room.
Well, you know, this woman was so full
of bitterness and resentment.
No way could you deal in that prayer
room with all those people around.
And I could see that with about three
or four sentences, and I said, let's just
go find a quiet place.
And off we went into one of the
offices.
That woman was still hard.
She wanted to talk to me, but she
was no way broken.
You see, if you're going to hang on
to your rights, and that's what she was
doing.
She had a right to make that husband
suffer.
I mean, after all, she'd suffered for years,
and how come he should get off just
by asking forgiveness?
And she was hanging on to all of
her rights, and I remember that we sat
for ages.
I don't remember how long, but I just
let her talk.
And I asked her, because I didn't know
any of the story, remember.
I'm only hearing her side of it.
And she's telling me how horrible he had
treated her, and how he had been around
the house, and that she never dressed right,
and she never wore her hair right, and
she was too heavy, and she didn't mention
the mastectomy.
That was her own thinking.
But all these different things, you know, and
then I said to her, I said, did
he ask forgiveness of you?
Oh, yeah.
But she said, that's too easy.
She said, I know, as far as I'm
concerned, he has to suffer a little bit.
And I was really praying, because, you know,
you can just thought right out what you
think should happen, but I thought, I've got
to be sure that she's going to receive
it right.
And so anyhow, during our conversation, I finally
said to her, I said, Charlene, I said,
what about what God says that Christ, for
God's sake, hath forgiven us?
I said, we don't deserve forgiveness.
I didn't deserve forgiveness.
And I said, you don't deserve forgiveness, but
God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven us.
And he says, if we don't forgive, then
he will not forgive us.
She knew it all.
Right.
Pastor's wife.
She knew it.
And as we talked, I said something to
her about, I remember, do you know the
Shakespearean play where Portia wants her pound of
flesh?
And I said to her, I said, do
you want a pound of his flesh?
And she looked at me kind of funny.
But again, unless God's Holy Spirit breaks you,
it doesn't matter what anybody says.
And I remember, I just realized I had
to be patient and wait on the Lord.
And we sat there together, and there were
not even any tears, just hard, hard, hard.
And I could see what it was.
Satan was fighting on the other side.
I mean, he had her in his clutches.
And to let her go, to let her
have victory, oh boy, what a difference that
was going to make in the lives of
that family and that husband and wife and
those people in the congregation.
You don't want that.
But I'm here to tell you that it's
really true, that greater is he that is
in us than he that is in the
world.
And God got a hold of her heart.
And as we got down on our knees
and she began to pray, softly and quietly,
you could hear the bitterness leaving her voice.
You could hear the resentment leaving her voice.
And you could hear the compassion, the forgiveness
coming in to the point where she was
able to finally say, God, I don't even
feel that I love him.
But I'm going to trust you to do
it.
And when we got up off of our
knees, she began to talk a little bit.
And already, you know, the devil was beginning
to make her doubt because she said, well,
how am I going to handle it?
Because she said, I just don't feel that
I love him.
And I said, of course you don't.
I said, Satan doesn't want you to sense
any love.
But I said, when the time is right,
God will fill you with his love.
I said, you trust him to do it.
And I'm going to tell you the truth.
As we were walking out of those offices,
I'm sure that in her heart she was
really kind of afraid of what was going
to happen when she saw him.
And it was really neat because it was
late.
Do you remember?
There wasn't hardly a soul around.
And we came out into this great big
$2 million church.
And here was like a big support sticking
way out, you know, wooden thing.
I don't know what you call it.
But anyhow.
And all I could see behind it was
these legs crossed, these men's legs out.
And I'm looking around for her husband.
And she was doing about this time.
He gets up.
He says, oh, I didn't know whether you
were through or not.
And you could hear the nervousness in his
voice.
You know, isn't it something when you're just
wanting so much for God to do something
and yet basically still you're scared.
You're afraid.
And you could sense it.
And I thought, well, they don't need me.
Because she started to walk over to him.
And I walked away.
And all of a sudden it dawned on
me that I'd left my coat in there.
I turned around and they were in each
other's arms.
Crying together.
She didn't have to wait at all.
God began the work just like that.
And that's what he wants us to do.
But we have to come to the place
where we do pray as David did.
Where we examine ourselves, first of all, to
see where we are.
And then we allow God to search us.
We're willing to subject ourselves to inquiry, we
might say, or inspection.
Where he can really investigate and scrutinize us.
And begin to show us where we stand
before him.
That we come to him like after having
a teaching session.
Where we've been taught as students for weeks
and weeks and weeks.
And then comes time for the examination to
find out if we passed the test.
Are we where God would have us to
be?
He wants to rescue us from confinement.
He wants to set us free from the
bonds of sin and the chains that Satan
has put around us.
He truly wants to become our guide.
You know, we're really just like tourists in
a strange land.
And we need direction in our lives.
And God wants to do that for us.
But he also wants to guard us, to
protect us, to defend us, to watch over
us.
And he also wants us to come to
the place where we comprehend fully all the
implications of a situation.
And find ourselves willing, no matter what the
situation might be, to allow God to be
totally in control.
So does a pastor's wife need revival?
I don't know how many are even pastor's
wives here today.
I don't know how many are lay people.
But I wonder if God has been speaking
to you during these meetings even in yesterday
and today.
And you begin to see that there's some
of these things that we've been talking about
in here.
Maybe it's even a situation where you know
some things about your husband and nobody else
knows.
But you know it and you've been bitter
over it.
You know what?
God says you don't have a right to
that.
No, because if you truly have Jesus Christ
as your Lord and Savior, it says that
you are bought with a price.
You're not your own.
Therefore, you're to glorify God in your body
and in your spirit, which are his.
It's hard to come to that place where
you're willing to say, Lord, you're right.
I have no right.
It's hard to come to a place where
you say, Lord, I agree with you.
Because that's what it amounts to when we
confess our sin to the Lord Jesus Christ.
We are agreeing with God about what sin
is in our life.
And when we agree with God, then we
can accept his forgiveness.
And once we've accepted his forgiveness, what happens?
We're set free.
We're set free from the bondage of sin
and of self.
And we can be filled with God's precious
Holy Spirit and finally become the women of
God that we want to be and that
we know he wants us to be, whether
it's as a pastor's wife or a wife
or as a single woman.
Whatever the situation might be, it doesn't matter.
When we're willing to agree with God, if
we confess our sin, he says in 1
John 1.9, if we confess our sin,
he is faithful and just to what?
To forgive us our sin and to cleanse
us from all, that's important, underline it, all
unrighteousness.
Confession is just agreeing with God about what
sin is in your life.
And when you come to that place and
accept his forgiveness, oh, how precious it is.
He really, truly does what the psalmist says.
He takes you out of that pit and
sets your feet on the solid rock and
you can be the woman of God that
he wants you to be.
Let's bow our heads, shall we?
Let's take just a few moments here to
allow God to search our hearts.
Ask him to do that.
If you really want to be what he'd
have you to be, then ask God to
search your heart.
Ask him to put his finger on anything,
whatever it might be that is hindering you
from being the representative of Christ that you
should be.
You are a child of the King if
you have accepted Christ as your Savior.
Are you living as one?
Or as someone has put it, are you
still living as a pauper?
Are you appropriating everything that Jesus Christ has
for you in your life?
If God puts his finger on a sin
in your life, confess it specifically.
Agree with God about that.
Thank him for his forgiveness.
Thank him that you don't have to be
in bondage to that any longer.
And then I wonder if you have agreed
with God about the old nature, that old
self that God says it is crucified with
Christ, and yet nevertheless you live.
And yet it's not you that lives, but
it's Christ who lives in you.
And the life that you now live in
the flesh, you live by the faith of
the Son of God who loved you and
gave himself for you.
Have you agreed with God about that?
You know, we don't go on feelings.
You might say, but I don't feel dead.
I often do not feel dead either, but
God said it.
Do you believe it?
Thank him that you don't have to be
in bondage to the old nature any longer.
Praise his name that you can be set
free from that.
And then allow him to just fill you
to overflowing with himself.
Thank him for doing it.
And again, don't wait until you feel differently.
But God says if we ask anything in
his name, he will do it.
There is a prayer room off of the
sanctuary, and if you feel that you need
to get alone with the Lord, we're going
to open up this time right now for
you to just step out and leave and
go to that place of prayer.
And if you would like someone later to
kneel with you, we'll have prayer partners in
there.
But just take this time now to get
alone with the Lord, and perhaps you just
want to go in and thank him for
what he's shown you, for those truths that
he's revealed to you.
And in the meantime, if you have made
this kind of a commitment, why don't you
just raise your hand and we'll just thank
God together for that.
If you made a commitment today to be
what God would have you to be, a
new commitment, would you just let that be
known?
Yes, thank you.
Many of you.
Praise God.
Father, we want to thank you for your
goodness to us, for your mercy.
Oh Lord, how we praise you for it.
It's so undeserved.
But we thank you that you have given
it so freely to us.
Father, we thank you for these decisions that
have been made for you, and we just
ask, Lord, that you might continue to reveal
yourself to them in a special way, Lord,
that they might continue to let you live
through them, that it might be seen in
their lives at home as well as at
church.
Father, for the pastor's wives especially, we pray
that you will give them a real freedom
in their spirit to minister in the way
that you would have them do in their
churches.
Father, we pray for those that in the
past have supposedly had an inferiority complex.
Lord, we pray that they might deal with
it as sin, and that they might realize
that when they allow you to take control
of their lips, that they're able to say
what you would have them to say, and
they're able to do what you would have
them to do.
Father, we pray that they might be the
wives to their husbands, that you would have
them to be, the support that they might
need for their husbands.
And then in turn, Lord, you would cause
their husbands to be more sensitive to the
needs of their wives.
Father, we pray this for all of the
men and women in this conference.
Yesterday, throughout the weekend, Lord, we pray that
you might minister to each one.
And then, Father, for all of those that
have come alone, we pray too, Lord, that
they might receive that which you have for
them, that which will cause them to be
of good courage, to be strong in you,
Lord Jesus, knowing that you are able to
do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask
or think.
We thank you now, Father, for your love.
Thank you for what you're going to continue
to do throughout this day, and we'll give
you the praise in Jesus' name.
Amen.