We can call this session Leadership in the
Book of Acts, and I'd like you to
turn in your Bible to the Book of
Acts.
We've been speaking a lot, and we tend
to in our day, there's nothing wrong with
it, of people's personal problems.
And one of the amazing things about the
Book of Acts, in some ways, is how
little it dwells on people's personal problems.
We never have any of the apostles psychoanalyzed
in front of us, but rather we see
them, even though I'm sure they're all men
like you and I with battles and problems,
we see them moving out into action for
God.
And I'm convinced that many of our problems
will be left behind when we get involved
in the spiritual warfare.
And there's a danger in any conference like
this that people become overly introspective and get
the idea that the Christian life is mainly
daily hunting for problems to bring to the
Lord, when the Christian life is far more
like an army moving down the beach to
conquer, and there isn't too much time to
get so involved in your problems when you're
running down the beach.
This is what we see in the Book
of Acts.
In all this, of course, we need to
maintain the balance, the balance between giving ourselves
to our personal spiritual life and coming into
maturity, and giving ourselves to others and to
evangelists.
And you will not find the answer to
some of these things very quickly.
I never forget talking to Dr. Schaefer one
day and having him explain to me how
one of the great battles he constantly has
is how much time to use for study
and personal edification and how much time to
use in ministering to others.
And he brought out that there's no simple
solution.
And to so many of these areas, there's
no simple solution.
And some of these things we will be
battling all the days of our life.
How much time to evangelize, how much time
in the Word, how much time toward personal
edification, how much time toward militant evangelism.
But I believe that we should be driven
back to the Word.
The tendency today, I believe, often is to
go to too many other books.
And these other books can be an inspiration,
they can be a challenge, but our foundation
for spiritual leadership must be the Word of
God.
It's not Joe Blow's book on the psychology
of living or so-and-so's book on
how to be happy though in O.M.
or whatever else it may be.
But I think again and again we need
to go back to the Bible.
And I thought even though this will be
very brief, it would be good for us
to take a few glimpses at the Book
of Acts with a cry in our heart
that truly we may have some Book of
Acts Christianity this summer.
And I believe that lies in the realm
of the possible.
We of course in Acts chapter 1 have
the emphasis on the power of the Holy
Spirit, Acts 1.8. But ye shall receive
power, after that the Holy Ghost is come
upon you, and ye shall be witnesses unto
me both in Jerusalem and in Judea and
in Samaria and unto the uttermost part of
the earth.
Now there is less and less interest in
our day, really, solid interest in world evangelism.
And we in O.M., despite all of
our other burdens to help people be good
citizens and good fathers and balanced Christians, we
must not lose the cutting edge of this
movement which has been a thrust to evangelize
the world.
And this is in obedience to the final
wish and desire of the Lord Jesus before
he went to be in the glory as
we read in verse 10.
And I love the exhortation where while they
were looking into the heaven, Jesus said, ye
men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up
into heaven?
Too many Christians are gazing.
Gazing even at Jesus.
Carried away with some wonderful cliché or even
a wonderful teaching about Jesus.
And yet they're gazing.
They may be singing, they may be reading
a book, they may be saying even some
wonderful phrase like, isn't he wonderful, but they're
still gazing.
And Jesus exhorted them to stop gazing and
to get going.
To wait for the Holy Spirit in their
lives.
And we know that he came.
We know that he dwells in each one
of us.
We know that he wants to fill each
one of us.
In the book of Ephesians it says, be
filled with the Holy Spirit.
It didn't say, again, go and wait somewhere
else and be filled with the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit had come and so there
was the immediate command, be filled with the
Spirit.
Which meant that those people at that moment
could have appropriated the reality that these people
in the very first chapter had to wait
for.
I've been amazed this year at the, certainly
the lower number of people, much less people,
who have shown any interest in going to
the Muslim world, India or Asia.
Unless they're all hiding, waiting for the end
of the summer.
And I believe that we must realize we're
not going to challenge them out.
We're going to pray them out.
And there needs to be a lot more
serious praying on our part.
To believe God for the men.
To fill all the various gaps.
So many leaders want to expand.
We've got some leaders in this work who
really run it.
But I want to tell you, it's a
lot easier to move out many, many times
than it is to fill the gaps.
Of last year's expansion.
And we really must pray.
And this goes for all Christian work.
Whatever Christian leader may be watching or listening
to this tape.
I'm sure you can realize the problem of
believing God for the workers.
To fill the gaps.
And then we find in verse 14, the
leaders of the church, in fact everyone, in
one accord in prayer, supplication.
With the women in Mary, the mother of
Jesus, and with his brethren.
I notice sometimes when there's a prayer meeting,
the lack of leaders.
And if you go to them, they'll always
have a good excuse.
It's true, the leaders many times are overworked.
They're many times up late planning strategy, working
out this and doing that.
And so when the prayer meeting comes, many
times there's a good reason for not being
there.
But I can tell you, even with the
best reason, if you find as a leader
you're missing the prayer meetings, you're going to
find that you're not going to get caught
up through pushing papers or anything else.
Prayer must be the priority.
And you must learn to chop other things
if necessary.
Anyone in leadership must learn how to lay
aside good things in order to get the
best.
You'll never find enough time unless you start
taking that time.
And that means laying aside some good things
in order to get the best.
The best is prayer and communion with God.
I believe that one of the most obvious
attacks of Satan when people leave OS comes
on their prayer life.
And so few people are able to maintain
a prayer life out in the normal life
that they have when they're in OS.
And I believe this is why many times
they end up falling back.
What a terrific need there is for more
prayer meetings, more prayer as it was in
the book of Acts.
In Acts chapter 2 we find the same
or a similar situation.
Verse 42 through 47, there's not time to
read it all, but they continued in four
areas.
The apostles' doctrine, fellowship, breaking of bread, which
of course speaks of worship among other things,
and in prayer.
Will you make sure you have those four
pillars of the church teaching on your team?
Then of course great things were done by
the apostles and all that believed were together
and had all things common, sold their possessions
and goods and part of them to all
men as every man had need.
It's amazing how many people want the signs
and wonders of verse 43 without the personal
love reality of 44 and 45.
And this is so often the case that
we want the blessing without the responsibility.
We want the breakthrough without the travail or
the tears.
And then it says in verse 46, and
they continued daily with one accord in the
temple and breaking of bread from house to
house, did eat their meat with gladness and
singleness of heart.
If you want unity on your team in
your assembly, then you're going to have to
be willing to lay aside secondary issues and
believe God for singleness of heart.
Just think of that, singleness of heart.
How difficult that is to get in these
days.
I think of that very powerful verse in
1 Corinthians chapter 1, verse 10.
Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name
of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all
speak the same thing and that there be
no division among you, but that you be
perfectly joined together in the same mind and
in the same judgment.
And as a leader, there will come times
when you will have to open the word
of God and share these verses and exhort
your team and your friends to pull together.
And even in O.M. I can tell
you some of the greatest disunity that Satan
has attempted to bring and sometimes successfully has
been between the leaders.
I have been amazed, of course, all over
the world to see how quickly Satan divides
leaders.
I've been amazed to see how few men
of God, supposedly the men of God, have
a really healthy and loving attitude toward other
leaders.
You see, we as evangelicals from the very
beginning are taught to be strong-minded because
we want to hold fast to the faith
and we have convictions.
Most of us are people of strong conviction.
That's why we're here.
And so we also, with these strong points,
tend to develop the weak points of being
full-headed, critical, and having a lack of
discernment toward what God is doing in others.
And it spreads like the plague.
And one of the things we see in
the book of Acts, because there were so
many leaders here, that they were of one
heart and one mind.
Now the devil attacked them as well.
And they didn't have perfection.
They had their difficulties, including the Apostle Paul
and the rest.
But I believe that one of the pictures
that we have in the book of Acts
that we need on all of our teams
is this unity.
Now it's much harder to get on with
your equal than it is to someone who
you sense is either way under you, in
terms of his spiritual life and his knowledge
of the Word, or someone way over you.
The real test is always with a man
who is your equal.
And oh, have I seen this on O
.M. Some leaders who get on fine with
everybody under them, and they get on fine
with the few who may be over them.
But with those who are equal, they have
tension and unrest and interesting reactions.
The one who perhaps, at a particular meeting,
sits next to him, and it's either he
who's going to be asked to speak or
testify, or him.
And there's where the tension comes in.
Why was he asked?
Why was I asked?
And you should just know of some of
the manifestations we've had of this, even at
these conferences, when you have so many people
who do have a word, but you only
have so many meanings.
We have an unusual situation in that we
have many language groups.
But imagine if this was just one conference.
How could you possibly give all the people
who have a burden to share the opportunity?
I certainly would want to pray much for
anybody who had the responsibility or any group
to make such a decision.
And so, we see this great picture of
these people united together, praising the Lord, one
heart, singleness of mind, and, notice how it
ends, and the Lord added to the church
daily, such as should be saved.
You know, we get the extremes of this.
We get the people who are all worried
and uptight and just getting themselves into a
knot, trying to get people saved.
And then you have the other extreme, the
indifferent fellow who, though he may witness, he's
not really concerned that anyone ever gets saved,
and he may even flippantly say, oh, well,
the Lord takes care of the fruit.
Somewhere there must be a healthy balance.
There must be a concern on our part
to see men converted.
There must be an effort to bring men
to decision.
Jesus brought men to decision in one way
or the other.
And I believe that somehow we must find
that balance.
Well, we want to move on to get
a picture of some of these other things
here in the book of Acts.
One of them I cannot bypass is in
Acts 3, where we have the man who
was lame, and he asked for money, and
Peter said, verse 6, chapter 3, silver and
gold have I none, but such as I
have, give I thee, in the name of
Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.
I would like to, again, call your attention
to how we would like the blessing of
being able to say to people, rise up
and walk, but there's not too many of
us that have the testimony, silver and gold
have I none.
And I think of all the money that's
thrown, even into so-called evangelically acceptable jewelry,
most of which is gold and silver, there's
certainly no one that has too much opportunity
to give this testimony.
Of course, we always at this point say,
oh, well, certainly we can't get literal about
these things.
The verses we like, we take literally, heaven.
The verses we don't like, we spiritualize, or
we say it's a parable, or it's a
spiritual concept.
And, of course, when we do this, we
literally knock, we literally knock the heart out
of the Bible, which many people have done.
And the Sermon on the Mount, many of
the best passages of Scripture, we sort of
tally off on the planograph for children.
Then over in chapter 4, just on this
subject of whether the heathen are lost or
not, I think we should know and understand
verse 12.
Neither is there salvation in any other, for
there is none other name under heaven given
among men whereby we must be saved.
None other name given among men whereby we
must be saved.
This makes it clear that any man anywhere
without Jesus Christ is lost, and there is
no hope for him.
That one verse.
And many other associated verses, like Jesus saying,
I am the way, the truth, and the
life.
No man cometh to the Father but by
me, seems to make the issue rather clear.
Then if we look at Acts 4, verse
31, we again find all these people gathered
in a prayer meeting.
When they had prayed, the place was shaken
where they were assembled together, and they were
all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they
spake the word of God with boldness.
And one thing that you must have as
a leader is boldness.
Boldness.
On the doors, in the streets, in the
open air, there needs to be a fearlessness.
Now it's amazing what children of fear we
are.
I thought recently that it would be good
before sending people to Turkey to give out
tracts in an environment where they expect the
police to pick them up at any minute,
for them just to go and do what
I was doing with my family a few
days ago and give out tracts in the
post boxes of these very ritzy apartments where
you have to sort of play a little
game just to get in the door because
it's locked.
You have to wait for someone to come,
and as they open the door you sort
of slip in behind them and head for
the post boxes.
And even though it may seem ridiculous, as
you're putting the tracts in the post boxes,
there is a feeling that comes into your
stomach that someone is going to say something.
And even though you know that, I mean,
what can they do apart from ask you
to leave the building?
There is some tension that comes in, and
you would prefer really not to do that.
The same tension comes in other situations.
And we must really, I think, take a
fresh study of the Book of Acts and
ask God as we read about these men
who were so bold, so fearless.
You remember with Paul there were a group
of men that said they weren't going to
eat until he was dead.
I don't know if I had a group
of people write me a letter and say,
we're not going to eat until you're dead.
Boy, there would be reason for a little
bit of tension.
But not sticking tracts in the post boxes.
I found that in India I had great
freedom distributing tracts in the third class section
of the train.
In the second class compartments, there was a
slight uneasiness, and the first class compartments, I
was scared.
Isn't that amazing?
I hope none of you have such problems.
But I know that the Book of Acts
has been a great help to me.
Sometimes it's good to do things that are
even a little bit crazy, to break the
fear barrier.
Once I decided, after watching Ray Lynch getting
to feel guilty, that I was going to
attempt to preach in London Underground.
It was a frightening experience because after doing
it a few times, one man lost his
temper and said I either got off the
train or he was going to call the
conductor.
Well, I haven't done it too much since
then, actually.
And I've wrestled with this problem many, many
times.
But not long after that, the Lord was
convicting me that I did have a fear
of man.
So I decided that just to break this
fear barrier, I would sing in the London
Underground.
And so in the center of London, in
the tube station underneath, while everybody's waiting for
the train, I mean, where can they go?
I just started to sing.
And actually I found that all to be
a tremendous therapy in delivering me more and
more from fear.
Actually one dear lady, I think she was
from the West Indies, she was really blessed.
She was one of these ladies working on
the train.
And she was really excited.
She said something like, Praise the Lord.
So that encouraged me, of course.
But I really believe that one of the
problems in our witnessing is we don't have
this fullness.
We're afraid of man.
We're afraid even of what they may say.
It's a very big thing on the door.
Many people find working in the open air
or in the streets, I mean, man-to
-man, in India especially, much easier than going
to the doors.
Why?
Because the door builds up suspense.
And it's just that suspense of wondering what
they're going to say and the fact that
you in a sense are on their ground
that can build up and make it more
difficult.
So let us pray that God will give
us this fullness to go into the streets,
to go to the doors, to go into
the apartments, even if there are the richest
people in town, and to give out the
word of God.
Now I don't believe that we should trespass
on private property.
And this is an area where sometimes you
have to use your head.
I don't believe we should go barging into
public places and be disturbers of the peace.
And people get extreme on these things.
There was one group that used to break
into cinemas and half, not in the land,
but another group, and half time in the
cinema and start preaching and they'd have to
be chased and the police would be called.
Well this, I believe, is a disgrace to
the Lord's name.
This does not help the Lord's work.
And so we need to be careful.
But there are plenty of places where you
can witness without causing that kind of situation.
Just basically to even cover up what I
said about British rails and all my time
giving out literature on British rails, hardly ever
has there been a disturbance.
And if someone on the train says don't
do it, I just comply.
In fact, in most cases people are thrilled
to receive something to read as they're oftentimes
very bored.
So there needs to be the balance.
We need to use our minds and not
just go like a bull into the china
shop.
Very quickly, as our time is almost over,
I want you to look at another picture
at the end of chapter 5.
The apostles were beaten and they were commanded
not to speak in the name of Jesus.
And they departed from the presence of the
council rejoicing that they were counted worthy to
suffer shame for his name.
Isn't that a picture?
Now you'd think they would have stopped or
called some kind of special meeting or gone
to some other place.
But instead it says and daily and in
the temple and every house they ceased not
to teach and preach Jesus Christ.
There was this passion to preach Christ.
To press on and one of the things
you must do as a leader is make
sure that by his grace and the power
of repentance you have this compassion and that
you instill it in your team.
You must constantly be using the word and
every possible method to instill your team with
motivation.
Perhaps the most practical thing I can say
at the end of this session is that
a leader must be a motivator.
You must give them reason.
You must show them the blessings that are
going to come.
You must show them the examples from the
word.
You must show them the examples from history.
You must show them reasons from the daily
newspaper from history from the word from your
life from other lives from poetry from anything
you can get to keep that team rejoicing
motivated and happy in the Lord.
In other words you must minister.
You must minister not necessarily always by preaching
or exhorting but through many methods sometimes just
reading a poem like some of Amy Carmichael's
poems or reading something from the press.
Late last night just before going to bed
I had the opportunity to read the newspapers.
It was one of the greatest challenges of
the day.
There's always something there that challenges.
The thing that hit me last night is
what the world will do to accomplish their
purposes.
And I read about the man who purchased
London Bridge for $7 million and took it
all over piece by piece to the United
States and has constructed this bridge though he
was somewhat disappointed because he thought he had
the more attractive tower bridge and after he
got the bridge up he built a channel
in order to get water under the bridge.
What the world will do to accomplish their
purposes may when we go out in our
teams we be willing to work hard and
to do everything possible to build for God
and to accomplish his purposes because who can
compare the purpose and the reward in all
that we do.
The world and the world's leaders are making
many of us look like we're walking backwards.
May we change our direction and be the
kind of leaders that we read about in
the book of Acts.
Thou therefore endure hardness as a good soldier
of Jesus Christ.
No man that woreth and tangleth himself with
the affairs of this life that he may
please him who hath chosen him to be
a soldier and if a man also strive
for masteries yet he is not crowned except
he strive lawfully.
Going over to verse fifteen.
Study to show thyself approved unto God a
workman that needeth not to be ashamed rightly
dividing the word of truth but shun profane
and vain babblings for they will increase into
more ungodliness.
Verse twenty-two.
Flee also youthful lusts but follow righteousness faith
love peace with them that call on the
Lord out of a pure heart but foolish
and unlearned questions avoid knowing that they do
gender strife and the servant of the Lord
Mrs. Key must not strive but be gentle
unto all men apt to teach patient in
meekness instructing he knows that oppose themselves if
God for adventure will give them repentance to
the acknowledging of the truth and they that
may recover themselves out of the snare of
the devil who are taken captive by him
at his will.
Keeping these verses in mind let me give
you some of these tests of spiritual maturity.
First the leader will be tested and you
will be tested when you are misunderstood.
As a leader you will be misunderstood.
You may be one of those brilliant leaders
who gets perhaps a large number of people
to understand you but there will be always
some who misunderstand.
In my fifteen years of working with leaders
and trying to be a peacemaker among leaders
and between leaders and team members I have
seen the best leaders the best misunderstood and
you are going to have to learn if
you want to be a leader even of
the smallest group to be misunderstood how to
take that misunderstanding which can attempt to eat
away at you inside and to really cast
it on the Lord.
The key of course to this is living
learning to live for the praise and the
glory of God and not the praise of
man.
You must live not firstly for your team
trying to build up your image trying to
keep your reputation or even just trying to
be a good job a good leader you
must live for the Lord your first concern
must be what he says and you must
be ready for misunderstanding.
You know I think that we oversimplify especially
the evangelicals the problem of communication.
Communication even among married couples even in their
first year of marriage when they are supposedly
flamingly in love with each other is as
complicated as anything could ever be much less
between people who barely have any particular emotional
warmth toward one another.
And I don't think we should be surprised
by the problems we have I think we
should be utterly amazed that we don't have
more problems and I especially say this in
O.M. I especially say this for the
ship.
I have some people that have such pity
toward me some of my fellow leaders they
just think that I'm in the most difficult
situation in all the world on this ship
with 126 people and all that's involved but
the Lord has shown me on this ship
that any problems we've had are nothing compared
to what we could have and nothing compared
to the blessings and so one of the
things that will help you when you're misunderstood
is to be positive not to let your
whole attention focus on this one person who
may be irritated with you but realize that
probably for everyone that's irritated with you there
are several who are quite happy do not
be thrown off balance please get this by
one or two who tend to be moaning
and complaining but try to think about the
whole team and realize that there is often
what has been called in the states recently
the silent majority often times I've found this
a leader upset concerned one or two criticizing
misunderstanding and so he starts to build a
new strategy or make decisions on the basis
of their grumbling without finding out really what
the rest of the team is feeling watch
out be alert not just to the man
who has misunderstood you but to the silent
majority when you find your whole team or
even 80% of your team has misunderstood
you you've probably done something that deserves it
and there comes a time when you need
to be willing to call in others to
help you figure out what you've done wrong
Billy Graham said something that really hit me
and I therefore wrote it in my bible
he said the greatest obstacle to our sanctification
is our unwillingness to see things as they
are and particularly to see ourselves as we
really are as a leader you must learn
to see yourself as you really are that
means not thinking too highly it means not
thinking too lowly some leaders have a very
low very low image of themselves and this
causes confusion as well so please be prepared
for misunderstandings do not be one of these
people who the moment some misunderstanding comes in
thinks the devil has got in the devil
has got in I think some people become
oversensitive to the devil personally I think we
need to be more oversensitive to the lord
he is present and his strength next to
the devil's is immeasurable it's beyond anything and
satan has no chance against the lord jesus
claim his power and his blood and his
grace and press on with your eyes upon
him and beware of over flattering the devil
or giving him too much publicity he is
a lover of publicity the second test of
maturity that will often come to the leader
is when he is criticized criticism is a
great test of spiritual maturity and a number
of times in my life it has proven
me to be a lot weaker than I
thought learning to take criticism is very very
important if you don't want to be criticized
then I suggest you don't do anything if
you do anything especially in the area of
leadership you will be criticized the greatest generals
of history have been criticized the most criticized
evangelical I know today at least one of
them is Billy Graham and yet I in
my studies don't know anyone who's accomplishing as
much in many ways as him and those
who are banded together with him so get
ready for criticism now the leader learns how
to accept criticism he studies it objectively that's
very difficult the moment you are criticized you
become subjective and one of the great problems
in our thinking is we tend to think
black or white somebody criticizes us immediately he's
our enemy he actually may be your best
friend but we tend to think black and
white and because he said something against you
he's just suddenly gone into the black and
those who speak well of you and shower
kind words to you they're over in the
white but you know it isn't like that
but I don't think there's one not one
who goes through a year without speaking something
against me so when I hear something why
be surprised and if I hear something back
from a leader that sounds like he is
being hateful that's too strong a word but
is saying something against me well I just
don't let that upset me because I know
it's not a black and white situation and
I believe the best and I think that
we as Christian leaders must learn to receive
criticism now I was reading some time ago
something from Mr. Tozer and it was so
powerful on the subject of leaders being criticized
that I wrote it in my bible and
I'd like to read it to you because
it really is powerful probably is as powerful
as everything else I'll say today but let's
read it I have some meter balance could
you stop that churches and Christian organizations have
shown a tendency to fall into the same
error that destroyed Israel inability to receive admonition
after a time of growth and successful labor
comes the deadly psychology of self congratulation sets
in success itself becomes the cause of later
failure the leaders come to accept themselves as
the very chosen of God their special objects
of divine favor their success is proof enough
that this is so they must therefore be
right and anyone who tries to call them
to account is instantly written off as an
unauthorized meddler who should be ashamed to dare
to reprove his betters if anyone imagines that
we are playing with words let him approach
at random any religious leader and call attention
to their weaknesses or the sins of their
organization I want to tell you that goes
as a knife into the innermost part of
my soul because I've had experiences in attempting
at times to walk straight with certain people
about their lives or their organizations and the
reactions have been very interesting worse than that
I've discovered some of my own absolutely ridiculous
reactions to people's criticisms of O.M. or
of myself or of a close associate how
we must desperately learn to take criticism how
we must learn to be able to take
that critical letter and think and praise the
Lord for it will do more for your
soul than flattering it will do more for
training you than someone patting you on the
back and saying you gave a lovely testimony
you'll learn more from your enemies probably than
your friends and I believe that this is
something that we must see if we're going
to be the kind of men and the
kind of women that God wants us to
be your reaction to criticism this summer will
be a test of your maturity I hope
you will pass the test if you don't
remember the second chance is always there and
that's repentance in the cross many times I've
failed the first test and George Brewer has
proven himself to be as mature as a
new blade of grass but the second one
by his mercy I usually pass and that
is I've learned by his grace to repent
and to go to the people concerned and
to lay myself bare before them at the
foot of the cross there'll be no leadership
without repentance if you think you're going to
glide through this summer without having to ever
repent before your team then you are probably
deceived or an extremely clever actor may God
give us the victory on one level or
the other in Christianity or in the Christian
realm of leadership the ability to repent is
a mark of maturity the immature Christian finds
himself unable to clearly repent he's so uptight
about what's been said he's so worried about
his failure that he's unable to really go
to the cross and this thing of self
pity easily comes in watch out for Mr.
Self-Pity maybe you this summer will be
overworked unappreciated over criticized misunderstood walked over and
so instead of just casting it on the
Lord and rejoicing in it you will take
a bath with Mr. Self-Pity and you
will become the martyr leader at the end
of the summer we have a number of
O.M. leaders when you meet them they
seem to be martyrs they forget that their
team members may have suffered even more regret
Mr. Tozu says may be no more than
a form of self-love a man who
has a high regard for himself or has
such a high regard for himself that any
failure to live up to his own image
of himself disappoints him deeply sin brings to
such a man such a painful loss of
face that it is not soon forgotten now
this is a real problem that I have
faced I have such a high