Let's open up our Bibles to Genesis chapter
one.
I'm going to try to cover several different
things here, so we're going to move kind
of fast and jump around a bit.
But there are several things that I want
to put forth.
First of all, from what I understand about
many of you here, that that.
Many of you are quite serious about raising
your families.
And you take that seriously.
And that's why I've preached what I've preached.
I could go to some places and preach.
And what I'd be primarily preaching on is,
look, you need to look at the Scriptures.
You need to be you need to look
at the principles of Scripture, the wisdom of
Scripture.
You need to be conforming your marriage, your
wife, your life, yourself, everything to what is
written.
You need to have devotionals.
You need to maybe be teaching your children,
maybe catechizing.
You need to turn away from the world.
There's a lot of things you need to
cut out of your life.
But I know there are many families here
that are already doing that.
And so what I wanted to do is
come from another angle.
You see, the Christian life is a very
narrow road.
But here's the great problem.
There's not just a ditch on one side,
there's a ditch on both sides.
And so you can be a family that
falls into the ditch over to the left,
my left, in which you're worldly.
You're worldly, you're not taking any of this
seriously as a man, you're not leading your
home, you're not seeking to conform your life
to the principles of Scripture, you're not being
discerning, you're not being judged, judging in a
proper way.
You're just you're just being lazy, apathetic and
worldly in your home and your life and
with your children.
And that's falling into a ditch.
But then there's the men and the women
who are very serious about every aspect of
their stewardship of family, and they're seeking to
do everything the way they ought to.
And that is to be applauded, to be
applauded.
I want to be more like that.
And yet there's a ditch for us, too,
isn't there that we can lose the spirit
of the thing?
We can lose the main idea, which is
a revelation of God through the gospel of
Jesus Christ.
Conrad Murrell said this one time, he's an
old Sovereign Grace preacher, he's he's probably forgotten
more about God than I'll ever know.
And he said this walking in falsehood is
is broad.
You can walk a thousand miles this way
and a thousand miles that way and still
be in falsehood.
But walking in truth is like walking on
the edge of a razor blade and you
can fall off on either side.
Isn't that true?
And it's so hard when you're teaching a
group of people, because there's some people in
which they need to hear, look, you need
to look at some of these principles of
scripture and you conform your life to it.
Look, you need to be very careful what
your children are watching, what your family's wearing.
You need to you need to take care
of this.
This is slothful and wrong.
And there's some people like that.
And then you preach in the congregation, but
there's other people who, man, they're very serious
about that.
But in all their striving against sin and
to be holy, maybe they've forgotten their first
love.
Need to go back to understanding this is
about the gospel.
So that's what I'm trying to do.
All right.
In Genesis chapter one, I want to teach
one more thing on marriage before I jump
over into family.
And again, this is I'm trying to reduce
down about 28 sermons.
So, you know, be merciful to me.
Genesis chapter one, and I want you to
look at verse twenty six, then God said,
let us make man in our own image
according to our likeness and let them rule
over the fish of the sea and over
the birds of the sky and over the
cattle and over all the earth and over
every creeping thing that creeps on the ground.
And God created man in his own image
and the image of God.
He created him male and female.
He created them.
Now, one of the purposes that I brought
up about marriage is to be conformed to
the image of Christ.
But the other, along with this, that parallels
it is that we come together in a
marriage in order to do what?
In order to extend, to advance God's kingdom
or God's rule upon the earth.
This was given to Adam at the very
beginning.
He was to go out.
He was to he was to advance.
He was to labor.
He was to do everything, seeking to bring
all things in subjection to the will of
God.
That is our purpose today.
Now, I have heard a lot of people
in the last 10 years talk about this
a great deal.
But one of the things that bothers me
is they always seem to take a political,
social, political, economic slant with regard to this,
that we need to change society through politics.
We need to change society through this and
that and every sort of thing.
Well, every aspect of life, Christianity touches and
all things are important.
But when we talk about advancing the kingdom
today, we are talking primarily about advancing the
kingdom spiritually through the preaching of the gospel
and the advance, the growth, the edification of
the church, that the gospel be preached everywhere
in the world.
Now, you and your husband or you and
your wife come together, should come together from
the very beginning.
And if not at the beginning, as soon
as you hear this kind of truth, you
need to start doing it.
You come together to be conformed to the
image of Christ.
That knowing that without my spouse, I would
never be what God wants me to be,
but he's going to use my spouse to
conform me to his image now, where both
spouses are believers and both spouses have made
this commitment, then they turn themselves to to
what the purpose of our marriage is not
just self-satisfaction.
It's not just self-fulfillment.
It's not having just a great life and
then retiring quietly to a wonderful place where
we can just play golf or walk around
and kick pebbles on a beach.
But our purpose in this marriage is to
come together, that united we might serve the
Lord, that we might be a part of
advancing his kingdom, his kingdom.
Now, borrowing a statement from from William Carey,
one of our things that we say at
heart cry all the time is this.
Everyone is called to be a part of
the Great Commission, everyone, and that's not just
the Great Commission in some foreign land, but
the spreading of the gospel everywhere, starting with
our local churches, every one of us as
a married, as a couple, as a family,
we should either do one or the other.
We should either go down in the well,
as William Carey said, or we should hold
the rope for those who go down.
All of us should be involved as husband
and wife, as our children, once they're converted,
we should all be involved in a local
church, in a local church.
OK, this is extremely important.
My question is not, do you attend the
local church?
My question is, how are you participating in
the edification and advance of that local church?
Because attendance really means nothing to me or
God.
How are you involved in advancing the gospel
through your local church as a married as
a married couple and as as a family?
And then the idea of going down into
the well, what did William Carey mean?
Well, when he was going to go to
India, he said, gentlemen, I will go down
into the well.
Into that mine, he said, actually.
Which is India, mine of souls.
But if I go down, gentlemen, you must
hold the rope for me.
And that's what I want you to see.
Your purpose is not just to have a
clean family.
But it's to have a clean family, a
sanctified family, that you might be a useful
instrument of God in doing what?
Advancing the kingdom, starting with your local church
and spreading out from that committed to a
body of Christ, submitted to a group of
men, elders that are seeking God's heart and
seeking to work together to advance God's kingdom.
This is where you're going to find your
purpose.
This is what it's about.
It's about doing that.
Now, let's just stop.
We can stop right here, couldn't we?
And all I have to do is hand
out a piece of paper and say, OK,
truth, number one, you should be practically involved
in advancing the kingdom as a married couple.
Now, write me a paragraph and explain to
me how you're doing that in your local
church.
Explain to me how you're doing that in
your family, explain to me how God is
using you in some way, either to go
down into the mine or the well or
to hold the rope for those who go
down.
In other words, show me the scars on
your hands, because if you're hanging from the
rope or you're holding the person hanging from
the rope, you're going to have calluses and
scars on your hands.
Where are your scars?
Where are your calluses?
You see, John Piper, it was right when
he said when he looked at the Sermon
on the Mount, he looked at the idea
of prayer and he said prayer is a
walkie talkie for those involved in warfare.
It's not about, Lord, bless me, bless me,
help me, help me, bless me, bless me.
It's Lord, strengthen me, enable me, give me
what I need to advance your kingdom.
And that's what family is about.
You know, we all know the illustration that
if the river flows into the pond and
the pond, the water doesn't flow out of
the pond, it just becomes stagnant.
That's the way it is in an individual's
life.
If you're not ministering, you will become stagnant.
I don't care if you're studying the Bible
24 hours a day.
If you're not pouring out as much as
that's being poured into you, then it's just
not going to work.
If you're a member of this local church.
No, the pastor isn't asking you to say
this.
If you're a member of this local church
attendance, really, it's not like a mark.
You're not going to get like a Sunday
school star for attending.
How are you ministering in this body according
to your gifts?
Which may mean like who knows what it
may mean, but don't despise it.
It could mean something as spectacular as teaching
or it could mean service service.
You know, I love my pastor and I'm
and the other men that are being trained
to be elders.
I just I'm amazed.
But you know what most amazed me is
when I stand back in the corner and
I watch people who are serving, serving, serving,
always there to serve, always there to do
whatever needs to be done.
And I just look at that and I
go, behold, the kingdom of God.
The power of the Holy Spirit, I don't
say that much when I see people preach,
but when I see people serving unnoticed, I
go the magnificence of God's power.
And so I want you to see that
you must you must you must become involved.
In this, that his name be great among
the nations from the rising to the setting
of the sun that I was during the
break, you know, I was back there fellowshipping
with a lot of Chinese believers and we
got to talking about some servants that I
know of who have died serving Christ or
someone else.
I told a story of who suffered terribly
in Indonesia and is now working in a
place, a little little woman, two little women
who are working in a place in Indonesia
among the Muslims.
And the reason they're there by their self
is because there's no man brave enough to
go.
You know, I'm just talking about won't it
be glorious the day we get to heaven
and and we get to hear these stories.
And then I said, but, you know, I
don't want to be ashamed on that day.
I want to have some stories of my
own.
What did it cost me?
What did I do?
And I've seen some of the most what
I would consider biblically successful people, biblically successful
families, biblically successful couples that they cared about
their inward life as a family and as
individuals.
But it was a means of an expression
to be able to do something for the
body of Christ and through the body of
Christ.
Now, having said that, I want us to
run over really quick.
Just go to Matthew and I want to
show you something that I feel is very
important.
Let's go to Matthew, chapter six, in verse
nine of chapter six.
Pray then in this way, our father who
is in heaven, hallowed be your name, your
kingdom come, your will be done on earth
as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread and
forgive us our debts as we have also
forgiven our debtors and do not lead us
into temptation, but deliver us from evil for
yours is the kingdom and the power and
the glory forever.
Amen.
Now, if you want a picture.
I think we have here maybe the clearest
picture, especially in verses nine and ten of
the heart of our Lord.
This this is the picture of his heart.
Now, I want you to think about something
in many prayer meetings, I mean, I really
don't like going to a lot of prayer
meetings in America because it seems to be
all about verse 11, about verse 11.
Have a prayer meeting that lasts a half
an hour, and most of it is a
town meeting talking about different people's ailments or
bad knees or backs or something.
Now, those types of things are important, but
I want you to see something, the passion
and the cry of the heart of Jesus
Christ was hallowed be thy name.
And what does that mean that God's name
holiness doesn't primarily mean sinlessness.
It means separation.
It means uniqueness.
It means in a category all to its
own that God's name would be esteemed above
every other name, that it would be in
a totally and completely different category, that it
would not be profane or common, but unique,
that everyone would hold it that way in
an esteem.
The greatest esteem above all other things, and
that's what he's desire.
That was the passion of his heart, that
God's name be held as holy and that
his kingdom come, that his will be done,
that the rule and reign of Christ would
advance and overcome and subdue everything that was
contrary to it.
That was the beat of his heart.
That was the passion of his praying that
took first place in everything.
And the whole thing about daily bread was
just give me enough bread so I can
participate in the first thing I asked for.
Do you see that it's not just give
me bread so I can eat, that's not
it.
It's give me bread so that I can
work, live, labor, breathe, pray that your name
be hallowed, that your kingdom come and that
your will be done.
I see so many people who are saying,
but, you know, I pray and my needs
aren't met.
It's like God never answers a prayer.
I can look back over the last few
years.
I can't mention I can't find one thing
that specifically I asked for that God actually
answered.
And I go, well, something's wrong because, see,
we think it's just give me this, but
it's not it's give me this so that
I can do the other.
That's the reason for it.
It's not for comfort.
It's not even for the sake of me.
As a matter of fact, when I deal
with people who are all caught up in
the prosperity movement, I say you're so wrong,
you're so wrong.
It's blasphemous.
I know this is where you need to
look at it.
This verse nine and 10 will heal you
if you'll just look at it.
Your attitude will completely change.
It's something like this, Lord, if through prospering
me economically.
And giving me physical health, if by doing
that your name will be hollowed in a
greater way and your kingdom will come in
a greater way and your will will be
done in a more profound way through me
and the world, then let me prosper and
let me be healed.
But Lord.
If through my calamity and my poverty and
my suffering and my turmoil, your name will
be hollowed in a greater way, your kingdom
will come in a greater way, your will
will be done in a more profound manner
than Lord, even let me die.
Suffering in a prison, starving to death because
it's not about food, it's not about wealth,
it's not about comfort, I only want your
kingdom to come.
Now, that's a type of attitude that will
lead to prayers being answered.
That's what it's about.
Now, I also use this as a corrective
in the life of men, those who are
very lazy and apathetic and those who are
very serious about ministry.
Now, let me show you, let's take the
lazy and apathetic guy first.
You know who you are.
Let's take you first.
You're over there and you're looking at Ephesians
five, you're telling your wife you need to
submit.
Now, wives, that command is there and it's
real.
Now, it has to be understood properly, but
it's there and it's real.
It's there.
OK, so now it doesn't say whether your
husband deserves it or not.
But here's what I want you to see,
man.
Most men in America, most little boys in
America and what I'm talking about, I'm talking
about a category of men that is like
forty five on down when I say little
boys.
Really, my wife says if a man eating
lion gets loose in America, it'll starve to
death because there's no men to eat.
But we got you don't believe me.
Go to the mall.
Now you have to wear a blindfold through
most of it, but go to the mall
and go to the video game shop.
Yeah, go there.
I did just stand there, look around.
Thirty five year old guys in there can't
wait till the next video game comes out
right now, I want you to think about
some things.
You're over there and you've learned that your
wife ought to submit to you and she
looks over there and what does she see?
A thirty five year old who still likes
running around with his friends.
A thirty five year old who still likes
running around with his friends who can't wait
to get a little extra money so he
can buy bigger wheels for his truck.
Who has toys, who wants his free time,
he's a boy and you are, sir, you're
a boy.
The thing about, you know, boys toys and
men's toys, the only difference is the price.
And she looks over there and she goes,
I'm called to submit to that, to this
guy who works, gets a little extra money,
goes out, plays with his friends, wants to
have bigger toys and different things, and he's
just he's just a boy.
So I'm just submit to that now change
the scenario.
But.
That woman looks across and sees a man.
And she can look in his eyes, she
can hear in his speech, she can see
in the way that he lives, that he
he breathes his heart beats this Lord, thy
name.
Be holy, thy kingdom come, thy will be
done.
And she looks over and sees that.
And she goes, if she's converted, she goes,
yeah, I submit to a man like that.
That won't be that hard now again, I'm
not saying you only submit conditionally, but my
whole point is this, you shouldn't make it
more difficult than it is.
Men, we should be men, that doesn't mean
we can lift a certain deadlift, a certain
amount of weight, that doesn't mean we have
a certain kind of physique or that we
talk like John Wayne doesn't mean that we
fight MMA.
It means this, that our heart beats with
the same the same passion that our Lord
had.
His desire was this.
That his father's name be hallowed, that his
kingdom come and his will be done, and
we are called to lay aside childish things,
a lot of times the guys in office,
you know, the younger guys, they'll go out
there, you won't go do lunch, Brother Paul.
I said, no.
Why?
Because my wife is prettier than you are.
They said, what do you mean?
I said, look, if I work through lunch,
I get home quicker.
So, no, I don't want to run around
with you ugly guys.
I want to get home.
I want to get home, men, real men,
men, they don't have a lot of free
time, guys, just recognize it, OK, if you're
a man, you go to bed tired, that's
your job and you don't have a lot
of free time.
So the free time you have, you want
to spend with your family, you want to
pour it into them.
Do you understand me?
It's what it means to be a man,
to put away childish things.
It doesn't mean, you know, and here's let
me let me share with you something.
If I'm if I'm doing what I ought
to be doing, if I'm if I'm working
hard for my family and if I'm if
I'm trying to raise my children in the
fear of the Lord and I'm having family
devotions and I'm trying to be faithful and
I'm working hard and I'm going to bed
tired.
My wife sees that.
And so I don't have to sit there
every Saturday and go, can I go hunting?
Can I go hunting?
Because I'm sitting there, I'm working, I'm doing
this and every once in a while, my
wife will go to me.
Here's your bow.
Go out and kill something.
Have a good time because she knows he's
worked hard.
She wants to bless.
She wants to help.
She's she's she's proud, she's glad.
Go run around, do whatever you guys do.
I come back half frozen.
She goes, well, it's just how guys have
fun, I guess you see.
It is it is living life, so I
have to tell men who are apathetic and
lazy and have never grown up, look, you're
wasting your life.
Your heart should beat with one thing.
I only desire that his kingdom come.
That's it, but now let me go on
and use this corrective on another side.
I know men who are passionate about this,
they're passionate about this, especially I deal with
a lot of preachers in Europe and Eurasia
and things they've been taught in a way
that I believe is wrong and they believe
this, that this passage means you give yourself
100 percent to the ministry.
It's all about the ministry, the ministry, the
ministry.
And so day and night they're working in
the ministry.
They're neglecting their wife.
They're neglecting their children.
And all they're saying, any time there's a
demand from their family or a need from
their family, they're like, I'm all about thy
kingdom come.
Thy will be done.
I don't have time for this.
And their so-called following of this passion
leads to bitterness in the heart of their
wife and their children.
And they want nothing to do with the
kingdom.
Let me tell you something that's not right.
I hear men say, you know, for the
sake of the kingdom, I hear this in
so many places, for the sake of the
kingdom, you don't have to sacrifice our family.
That's a lie.
And not only is it a lie, you
are lying about God.
You know what you're saying?
You're saying God's not perfect.
That's what you're saying.
You say, how am I saying that?
In Romans chapter 12, one and two, one
of the characteristics of the will of God
is what the will of God is perfect.
And what does that mean?
You do not have to disobey one aspect
of the will of God in order to
fulfill another aspect of the will of God.
So to say I have to neglect the
duties and commands of Scripture with regard to
my family in order to carry out the
duties and commands of Scripture with regard to
ministry, you are saying God's will is not
perfect.
It's contradictory.
And that's a lie.
That's a lie.
And let me share with you something, when
I was a single missionary, OK, when I
was a single missionary, there were certain passages
of Scripture and commands of Scripture that did
not touch me.
It was though they were dead to me.
I'm a single missionary, I have no wife,
I have no children, so the commands regarding
wife and children, they're dead to me.
They have not.
So if I want to go, yeah, go
out there 18 hours a day, preach the
gospel, get martyred, have a good time, go
for it so I could go for it.
But guess what happened?
With the same passion, hallowed be thy name,
thy kingdom come, thy will be done now
in God's providence, I've taken a wife.
So what does that mean?
These commands, they still demand for me, but
the time is different now.
Why?
Because new commands have been brought into my
life, commands concerning a wife.
And so time has to be wisely allocated
to ministry to be obedient here and time
has to be wisely allocated here to take
care of the commands concerning a wife.
But then it's Chato and I and we're
running around the northern mountains of Peru.
Taking Bibles and doing all sorts of things,
and we're free.
Why?
We have no children.
Then we were told by doctors that we
couldn't have children.
So, OK, that's our life, we're free to
do these types of things, to serve the
Lord together, to go up and down mountains,
to do all kinds of things.
And then all of a sudden she's pregnant.
And we have a child and then another
and another miraculous, we're not supposed to have
any.
But what happens?
Now there's a change with the same passion,
time must be taken from this area and
wisely allocated to this area because new commands
have have come into our life.
Do you see that?
And so what I want you to see,
man, is, you know, the song trust and
obey, for there's no other way.
You just can't get much wiser or more
profound than that.
Your job is not to set some goal
of ministry.
Or to set some some any type of
goal like that, your job, your goal should
be to simply obey what is written, to
obey the commands that apply to you in
God's providence.
So I like to look at it in
this way, concentric circles of concern.
First of all, I have commands with regard
to my own life.
As a man and I can sum those
up in this cultivate my relationship with God.
And that's primarily through the word and through
prayer, cultivate my relationship with God, that is
something that must be done.
Do you understand that everything else falls apart?
There's no possibility for anything else with regard
to these commands here.
There's no possibility unless I am doing this,
as one preacher said, if I don't read
the Bible one morning, I know it.
If I don't read the Bible two mornings,
my wife knows it.
If I don't read the Bible for three
mornings, everybody knows it.
It's the word of God and prayer, the
word of God and prayer saturate our minds
to cultivate the mind of Christ in the
word of God, reading the full counsel from
Genesis to Revelation over and over again as
many times as you can, saturating your life
so that you can people can say of
you what they said of Bunyan.
If you if you cut him, he would
bleed the Bible.
So that's the first thing, because I'm no
good to anyone unless I'm growing in conformity
to Christ.
And then the second circle.
Would be what, well, what am I bone
of bone and flesh of flesh with?
It's a wife.
That's your second concentric circle, that's your second
thing.
And this is where oftentimes I think it
was it may have been Lou Priolo or
whatever, and I was so convicted when I
read this, I think it was him and
which he took was with godly men who
really were godly men.
And he said that he makes a line
like this and then puts a line down
the center, he puts wife here and children
here and he gives them the number 10
and he says, divide up the number 10
between your wife and your children.
And he found that even among the most
godly men, the general rule was.
Three to the wife and seven to the
children.
It's because many of us have married good
women, strong women, we know they're converted, we're
worried about our children, we're concerned about our
children and we invest so much time in
our children, which is good.
But we don't invest enough time in our
wives and in this area, many times I
have failed.
Because she's just strong, you just expect, OK,
she's always going to be there, she's just
always going to.
Yeah, but that's not right.
Our greatest concern should be about the advancement
of the kingdom of heaven and our wives,
then out from that my children.
My children, because if a man doesn't manage
his own household well, he can forget about
anything in the church, the Puritans would refer
to the family actually as a seminary.
Because they would say it prepares you for
church ministry, why?
Well, in the context of church, there's a
bride in the context of your family, there's
a bride in the context of the church,
there's immature children in your family, there's immature
children.
And if you can't manage your own bride
and immature children, how can you manage the
bride of Christ and immature children of God
that sometimes are found there?
You see that so my next circle of
concern in doing the will of God is
my children.
I mean, we do have first Timothy, right?
Chapter three requirement of an elder must manage
his own household well.
And so how do I advance this kingdom?
Through cultivating Christ in my own life, through
seeking that my wife be conformed to the
image of Christ.
And this is oftentimes where even godly men
most fail because they just happen to be
married to many times strong women who.
But I failed many times in this area,
but I have to teach it because it's
true.
And then then our families, our families, our
children.
And yes, it is, it does mean you
should have consistent devotions with your family, real
ones, not something you just slap together.
Now, a lot of my friends, they spend
most of their years with their children, catechizing
them, and catechisms are very, very good.
They've been used by Baptists for for centuries.
They're very good.
And I've in a roundabout way used that
sometimes, but I'm kind of a freakish perfectionist.
And so every bit of material that I
would always find about how to do children
or help me with children, I find flaws
in all of it.
So I was just miserable.
This was when Ian was just a little
boy, my oldest, and I was like, you
know, I just got this nobody.
Maybe I ought to write my own material
or this or that.
And then one day it dawned on me
there's really only one perfect material.
It's called the Bible.
So what we've done since he was five
and now he's 14 and all the other
children along with it is we go through
books of the Bible.
Ian reads like we go through books of
the Bible.
And but always also in each devotion, it's
it's spending time also in the book of
Proverbs and in every case in the book
of the Bible and in Proverbs, it's a
line by line.
Ian's the oldest, Ian read verse one.
He reads verse one.
What does it mean?
We talk about it, I do a commentary
on it, questions, whatever.
OK, Evan, read verse two.
He reads verse two.
We do the same thing.
OK, Rowan, read verse three.
She reads verse three.
We do it.
And we've just worked our way through Proverbs
now about I think we're on our fourth
or fifth time.
But then many books of the New Testament.
All the Gospels, the epistles and.
It's just the Bible, the Bible, the Bible,
saturate their lives in the Bible, you see
that.
OK, but then it's not just that.
Because when we get over to Deuteronomy, chapter
six, we see something that I think it
was Lou Priolo again brings out very, very
wonderfully, it's teaching them in the midst.
And what does that mean?
If I'm out with my sons putting up
a deer stand or we're splitting firewood, there
may be all kinds of things that will
come up that are opportunities to talk about
the Lord, the beauty of nature, the work
that we're doing.
Man, Dad, I'm sweating.
Well, our great, great, great, great grandfather should
have never fell.
Dad, this is hard work and it just
seemed we did all this and now it
amounted to nothing.
Yeah, that's called toil.
Our dad, look, we really accomplished a lot
today.
Yeah.
Who gave us the grace to do it?
It's it's not that you one of the
things that we've done horribly, we've done this
in medical science, we've done this in science,
we've done this in business, education and family
and everything.
And in spirituality compartmentalized everything.
OK, we had our little devotion time.
OK, let's put Jesus back in the closet
and I'll just go on with life, you
see.
And that's not the way it is.
It's in everything, in everything.
And that doesn't mean everything's a lecture.
It just means that if the father.
Is is there's a song that I used
to sing from Keith Green that I would
sing to my children when they were little,
and it goes like this, oh, my son,
I am weak and I'm trembling for the
Lord.
I am always remembering, oh, what a strong
shepherd holds you in his arms.
He'll break you and make you his own.
And they need to have a father and
a mother.
They can say, oh, my son or my
daughter, I am weak and I'm trembling for
the Lord, I am always remembering.
That there's just no part of life where
he's not we love to kayak, we have
a really beautiful river that we kayak on
and and the Lord's not absent from that.
It's in everything.
That there should be a sense of the
Lord and you can't make that happen, guys,
you can't fake it, you can't just turn
on a faucet and say, OK, I heard
that sermon, I'm going to do it.
That only comes from your personal life, cultivating
a mind of Christ, cultivating the Lord.
The thoughts of the Lord, a mindset and
incline towards the Lord, you see that.
And so it's the family and then in
that also there is the church.
The church, the local church, there is a
sense in which the Internet is something like
the Gutenberg press, I mean, it has enabled
so much information, good information, a lot of
times not just bad, but good information, good
teaching to get out and even close countries
and everything.
But there's another sense in which the Internet
has been very, very bad.
People almost ignore the local church.
Look, you can't do that.
Remember an old preacher one time walked up
to this lady, walked up to him and
said, Pastor, I wanted they had a choir
or whatever.
Pastor, I want to sing in the choir.
And he goes, were you a member of
this church?
And she said, no, I'm a member of
the Great Invisible Church.
He said, then you go sing in the
Great Invisible Choir.
The whole point is that they're that God's
people, a local body of believers.
To whom you're accountable.
And to elders who can speak into your
life and counsel you, a place where you
can even lovingly be disciplined for the salvation
of your soul.
And then as a collective body thinking about
not so much independently, everyone just doing their
own thing in world missions, but collectively as
a body thinking about how can we have
the greatest impact as a body here in
Cincinnati on the world, not just on our
community, but also upon the world.
And that's how these circles work themselves out.
Dropping that pebble.
What is that?
You're dropping that pedal that you're holding.
That is when a man spends time alone
with God in the word and then it
reaches out to his wife, to his children,
to his church and to the world.
And nobody's bitter now.
Because you haven't jumped over your family or
jumped over your pastors in church to get
to some other thing.
Do you see that?
Now, minutes, it's very simple, isn't it?
It's a lot more simple.
It's not really a mystery of what we
need to be doing.
Give me a man who does the small
things, the simple hidden things.
I'll take him over the greatest superstar you
ever met.
Now, I want us to go quickly with
just the time that we have.
I want us to go over to see
we've got so much.
Well, let's just go to to Second Timothy,
chapter three.
I want to talk about children for a
moment.
Now, I'm going to entitle this portion of
our sermon, get ready, why you should never
discipline your children.
OK, I made some of you ready to
kill me, shoot those poison darts out with
your eyes.
Children are like for the first time in
their life, the Lord is speaking, let's be
quiet.
I could also I preach a similar sermon,
why why the church should never practice church
discipline.
OK, but this is why should parents never
discipline their children?
OK, why some parents, let me put it
that way, should never discipline their children.
I want us to go to verse 15.
He's talking about the scriptures and he says,
and that from childhood you have known the
sacred writings which are able to give you
the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith,
which is in Christ Jesus.
All scripture is inspired by God and profitable
for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training
and righteousness, so that the man of God
may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
Now, there is nothing hardly that makes me
madder, angrier than this.
A father who's invested no time in his
daughter.
And then when she even though I'm not
I don't agree with this, I'm just going
to say it because it's what happens in
a lot of cases, he's invested no time
in his daughter.
Then when she's 16, she goes out on
a date with somebody he doesn't even know.
And to show his manhood and fatherhood, he
cleans a gun in the front room when
the boy comes in.
He ought to be beat with that gun.
That's that's not manly, that's not anything, it's
just stupid.
Yes, I know your children are going to
go home and say, Dad, I thought we
couldn't use the word stupid.
It's wrong.
He's invested no time in this girl and
now he wants to make a show.
He wants to like a Neanderthal beat his
chest or something, but he's invested no time
in this girl.
And that's why some parents should some so
-called Christian parents should never discipline their children
in any way because they haven't done the
work that must precede discipline.
And it's why some churches should never practice
church discipline, because they think church discipline is
just simply you discipline them because they've done
something and won't repent.
But the church hasn't invested all the other
work they're required to do as a church.
I see parents today, you know, because of
because of a lack of teaching and a
lack of discipline and everything else, they don't
they don't teach their children.
They don't discipline their children in the name
of love.
And then they come to hate their children.
I can tell I've seen them at Walden
screaming at their children.
They hate them.
Can't be with him, can't do anything.
They're prisoners to those children.
And here's some things that even though, you
know, it's like.
We need 10 hours of preaching, but let's
just look at this really quick.
Look at verse 16, well, first 15.
Look, I believe in the sovereign grace of
God, it's taught throughout all the scriptures, and
I know my children's only hope ultimately is
God.
And yet I know that as a father,
I am that God uses means for the
conversion of people, and I know that God
has commanded me to be obedient.
And I know the best thing that I
can do for my children is just copious
amounts of scripture.
The scriptures, the scriptures, the scriptures, and listen,
there are parents here who could stand up
right now and give testimony to this that
have had children and their children are already
out of the home.
You're sitting there and you're teaching your children
for years.
The scriptures faithfully, consistently, and you're thinking this
is having no impact whatsoever on those children.
And one day, surprise, surprise, surprise.
You see that the scriptures really didn't return
void, that God did amazing things through that
scripture.
You see, everything that we do is an
act of faith.
Obedience is primarily an act of faith.
You're believing that what God says is true
and you're believing it to such a degree
you're going to do it.
Preaching is an act of faith.
Paul says it's the most foolish, pitiful thing
that's out there.
And yet by faith, we do it because
God has said that through preaching, people will
be saved and the church will be edified.
And so we preach meeting with children several
times a week, teaching them the scriptures.
And sometimes you think they're not learning anything.
You do it by faith.
You just keep going, you keep believing and
God will use the scriptures.
And so this is something that is so
important, it is the scripture, the scripture, the
scripture proclaimed and proclaimed and proclaimed, not just
preaching in the church, preaching in the home.
Preaching in the home.
But father's also asking God to help you
communicate the truth so it's not turned into
just some.
Drab lecture and you do not have to
be exceptionally gifted, this is what I have
found that if a man is passionate about
something, he will be able to communicate it
if he's passionate about something.
I mean, I've talked to men and you
think, man, is this guy ever even read
a book and then all of a sudden
you hit the thing he's passionate about, whether
it's fishing or hunting or cars or something
up until then, you wondered, you know, is
this guy even is he registering, you know,
at all?
And then all of a sudden you hit
that thing he's passionate about.
Well, he's an expert.
He can tell you everything there is to
tell you about fifty seven Chevys.
He can get everything you need to know
about the proper way to shoot a bow
because he's passionate about it.
You say, well, I can't really, you know,
I can't teach my family.
I don't have.
No, your problem is a lack of passion
for Jesus Christ, because if you really passionate
about him.
When you first met your wife, man, you
could tell everybody anything because you were passionate
about that.
Do you see that?
So don't be coming off with any excuse.
And I always tell men this.
They'll say, well, I just don't understand.
And after, you know, say, well, first of
all, if you don't understand anything about the
scriptures, the question is, are you even converted?
Then secondly, if you are converted, let me
ask you a question, if your factory came
to you, your factory foreman came to you
and says, look, here's a here's a manual
about this big and I know you don't
understand anything in it, but if you learn
this manual in the next month.
We'll double your salary here, you'll learn that
manual, you'll stay up all night, you'll your
wife be pumping coffee to you, you just
be and she'll be right there with you,
honey, learn, you can do it, you can
do it, you can do this.
What about the Bible?
Because your whole family depends on that and
for eternity, for eternity, and why is I
mean, let me share with you something, I've
got a whole lecture on this, but let
me share it with you.
Your husband will fail you many times.
And if I could pinpoint one thing about
husbands, is that.
Maybe.
Apathy, lack of.
Sincerity or profound passion about something.
Laziness, boyishness.
Are all things men are inclined to because
of the way they're raised primarily by their
mothers.
Let me share with you something, one of
the thing about women.
It's bitterness.
And they get to the point where they
never give the husband a chance that everything
he tries to do, even when he tries,
it's basically you're going to fail.
Well, I knew you'd fail.
I knew you'd start reading the Bible and
wouldn't, you know, if you heard him preach,
I knew you'd try it again.
You'd fail again.
Boy, aren't you a wonderful blessing?
You know what I was listening to Joel
Osteen last year, I was I listened to
a whole sermon somewhere that they had a
TV and he came on, I listened to
him and I was so convicted.
But you didn't expect that, did you?
You know, I was convicted about.
About everything, because of the context, about everything
he said was wrong, almost everything he said
was wrong.
It's like hitting a home run, but you're
at a hockey game.
That's basically the way it was.
But here's what I was convicted about.
He was encouraging people about all the wrong
things, but he was encouraging people.
And I thought, how little we teach that
in the more serious circles, the sovereign grace
circles and the reformed circles about just encouraging
people saying, look, in Christ, you can.
I'm praying for you and I believe that
God's going to do something and I have
great hope for you.
And to see your husband and he failed,
he got his Bible and he ended up
reading five minutes, you see him close it
and he's kind of just frustrated.
Instead of going, yeah, well, I didn't think
that last long or you broke my heart
again.
Walking over and say, I really appreciate.
I appreciate.
The attempt.
And I'm proud of you and I just
want.
You want to sit down and read together
is I'm proud of you.
It's the same way with your we just
don't encourage one another.
We just don't we just don't enough.
Do you see that?
I encourage kid comes and says, dad or
mom, I'm sorry.
You're not sorry.
You've done this a hundred times today.
You hypocrite, you stinking hypocrite.
What did your master say?
Seventy times seven.
What if you went to him?
How many times some of you are like
me, you've walked with him for 10, 15,
20, 30 years.
How many countless times have you committed the
same error, same sin and gone to him
joyfully expecting forgiveness?
When did you once hear him say, we
talk about you'll be back here in five
minutes.
We need to be careful, so careful we
need to be encouraging, because let me ask
you a question.
Let's just let's throw theology out the window
and let's just be pragmatic for a moment
in all your discouragement and criticism.
Did any of it work?
Did any of it make your marriage better?
Did any of it make your children better?
Did any of your anger, your retaliation, your
frustration, your impatience, everything else, did it ever
one time fix anything?
No.
So let's just throw theology out the door
and be pragmatic, like most of evangelicalism.
And even then we see the scriptures right,
don't we?
It never works.
But what worked the times that something actually
worked, what happened?
You acted like Jesus instead of acting like
you.
Oh, it's been rare.
But when you did it, it had a
profound effect.
Oh, especially just men, you take for granted
so much and so sloppy and lazy a
lot of times and so nonchalant about things
that mean so much to your wife.
And you and I ought to be ashamed.
And wives, you need to be careful about
bitterness because it'll crawl up on your face
and stay there and everyone can read at
the moment they see you.
Now you understand why I preach in a
lot of places once teaching the scriptures.
Now, let's look at this.
It says in verse 16.
All scriptures inspired by God and profitable for
teaching, reproof, correction and training and righteousness.
Why do we think this only has to
do with preaching?
Well, come to think of it, I don't
think we even think it has anything to
do with preaching because I don't see many
people doing this either in preaching.
But if you would look at this with
regard to your children, someone gets mad at
their children and they're angry at their children
or someone, even their child does something wrong
and they discipline them.
The first question they need to ask themselves,
am I teaching my children?
You know, I look back on my life
and I've talked to a lot of young
men, a lot of old men and realized
that the only time I received any moral
instruction was not really a moral instruction, but
it occurred the moment I had done something
wrong.
And I would hear something like, you stupid,
why did you do that?
You know, that's wrong.
You have no right to discipline if you
are not going to teach.
You have what you want.
You have this right to just expect stuff
from your children, but you've not invested anything
in your children.
You don't invest anything, don't expect anything.
Are you expecting someone else to do it?
Like a schoolteacher or just mom, because she
homeschools a lot of times, I love it.
I'll go into a place, a men's conference,
I go, how many men are homeschooled dads?
Her I'm homeschooled and I go, OK, keep
your hand up now.
How many of you are homeschooled dads or
how many of you are just married to
homeschool moms?
You see the hand go down, they're not
homeschooling, they're just married to homes, to women
who do all the homeschooling.
That's not a homeschooled dad, you see that.
Amen.
OK, so make sure you're all there.
You see, you have to teach your children.
Now, here's the thing about authority.
Why should we do that, dad?
Because I said so.
That's not true.
Say it all you want, beat your chest
if you want, but that's not true.
If I, as a preacher, got up and
told you something in the congregation said, why
do I have to do that?
If I said because I say so, would
that carry much weight with you?
I hope it wouldn't.
I'd hope you'd say show it to me
in the text.
You see, authority in my home doesn't originate
with me.
I have authority in my home.
I am to be the head of my
home, but my authority is in is derived.
It's not inherent and it's only authority to
the degree that it lines up with a
greater authority.
So in the way of preaching, in some
ways, preaching is not like this.
You are looking at me and me telling
you what to do.
Preaching is me standing like this going.
Did you hear what he just told us?
Do you see the difference?
It's one of the reasons why sometimes I
have gotten down on my knees and asked
for forgiveness from one of my children.
Why?
Because I disobeyed a command.
So they need to know dad is not
imposing his authority.
Dad is speaking an authority to which he
must submit.
God, God is the authority in this home.
Dad is communicating that authority to us and
dad, just like us, no difference.
Dad must also submit to that authority.
And when dad blows it, dad asks forgiveness,
just like we do.
Do you see that?
And so how can they know if you
don't teach them?
And so, fathers, listen to me, I beg
you.
This is not about a higher salary.
This is not about keeping your job.
This is about eternity.
Your job is to know the scriptures.
I don't understand him.
I don't care.
Do whatever you have to do to know
the scriptures.
Because your life depends on it, your wife's
life depends on it, your children's life depends
on it.
Know the scriptures or don't get married, know
them.
And the Lord knows how many good sermons
are out there, how many decent study bibles
that keep you at least in the midst
of the center of Christian orthodoxy, how many
commentaries, how many things, how many helps there
are getting to a biblical church pastors, the
light when people come up and say, I
don't know what this text means.
Can you tell me?
Only have a chair with you because he's
probably going to preach for 10 hours.
They love this.
They're just waiting for someone to ask them,
like the girl waiting for someone to ask
her for a dance or something.
There's no excuse.
You say it's hard.
Yes, it's hard.
You know, one of the greatest things I
learned and this is what really gets people.
And yes, I know I'm running a rabbit,
but listen to me.
You need to hear this.
Many people think that the people who really
read and study the Bible do so because
it's easy for them because they're gifted.
Many people think that the people who pray,
they pray simply because it's easy for them.
They're gifted to do that.
That's a lie.
It's a lie.
Most people I know, I've asked them that
study the word and are great teachers of
the word, it's hard for them, just like
it is for the rest of us.
They have to get up in the morning
early and their flesh doesn't want to, but
they know it's absolutely necessary.
They know it's absolutely necessary to pray.
And another thing, you get a guy who's
in a biker gang.
Who didn't even learn hardly how to read
in high school, he's in a biker gang.
I mean, he is bad to the bone.
He's got a messed up family.
He can barely read.
He gets saved one afternoon and the next
morning he calls his family down to the
table and he tries to read a chapter
in Matthew six and he can barely get
through it that even the children would laugh
at his inability to read.
I want to tell you something.
The fact that he did that will have
such a tremendous impact on his family, whether
he can read it or explain it.
They know something's happened to dad.
Do you see that?
So you must teach them the scriptures.
What does God demand of us?
What are the principles?
What are the commands?
Why?
What is the wisdom behind it?
Yes, a child can ask the question why
and it'd be rebellious, but it's not necessarily
rebellious.
It's good to know why.
Proverbs is full of do this and this
is the reason why.
And so you must teach your children the
scriptures and then what you must reprove your
children.
What does that word mean?
It's just like a prosecuting attorney.
You know, you're wrong, but a prosecuting attorney,
you know, when you hear somebody say, I
feel convicted of my sin, that's not biblical
language.
It's not I feel convicted.
It's all about feeling.
Now, here's what the idea is.
You have a man on the stand who's
been accused of a crime.
The prosecuting attorney, it doesn't matter what he
feels like, does it?
That man who's sitting there in the chair,
the prosecuting attorney walks in and he just
doesn't say you're guilty, does he?
He says you're guilty.
Here's the first piece of evidence, second piece
of evidence, third piece of evidence, fourth piece
of evidence until everybody in that room doesn't
matter what they feel.
They all know he's guilty.
He's guilty.
That's what the word means here.
It's like when my mother was dying of
cancer.
Our doctor knew she's a very stubborn woman.
He walked in there loaded for loaded for
bear.
I'm not kidding.
He walked in there with a stack of
papers.
Miss Washer, if you don't do this, you're
going to die.
And here's the reason.
One, two, three.
One hundred and thirty eight hundred thirty nine.
Until she just sat there and went, well,
you know, OK.
And that's the same way we use the
scripture, you tell your children, you tell your
child you're wrong.
You use the scriptures to show them they're
wrong, and primarily it's the example of Jesus.
Because he is the standard of all righteousness,
but it's using the scriptures to show them
when they're wrong.
And then after that, you see, it says
for reproof and then for correction.
You tell your child you're wrong.
Well, that's not good enough.
After you tell them they're wrong and they've
been brought to some sort of repentance, you
tell them correction.
Correction isn't telling them you're wrong again.
Correction is telling them, OK, reproof, you did
it wrong.
Correction.
This is how you do it.
Reproof, you do not hit your brother in
the mouth with a John Deere tractor toy.
And this is what the scripture says, correction,
blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain
mercy.
Do you say you use the scriptures?
It's not just telling your child you're wrong.
You show them that they're wrong with the
scriptures and then you show them what they're
supposed to do, how they were supposed to
handle it.
And then there's training.
Training long before ever there's discipline, there's training.
Now, what does it mean training?
Let me give you an example.
Sometimes guys will ask me like shooting a
long bow, like a traditional just a stick,
you know, bow and arrow.
They go, man, I've started doing this.
This is really hard.
Could I come over and you show me
how to shoot a bow?
And I say, yes.
But before I do, I want you to
read this book.
Becoming the Arrow by Byron Ferguson.
Read this book.
They read the book, everything they need to
know about how to shoot a long bow.
He's one of the best.
It's in that book.
But when they come to my house, they
still can't shoot a long bow.
They've been taught, but they haven't been trained.
There's a big difference.
So I say, OK, grab your bow.
They grab their bow and I look at
their feet.
I go, look at your feet.
Don't you remember what he said about the
feet, get the feet this way, your weight
distribution, how is it?
Oh, OK, so that's what yeah, that's what
he meant.
Now, your feet's right now.
Let me see you grab your bow, you're
grabbing your bow too tight.
Remember, if you grab it too tight, you're
going to torque it.
Let it hang in your hand just enough
to hold it up.
OK, let me see you pull back.
Now, remember your arrow, your elbow, everything.
Why do you got one eye closed?
You don't shoot a gun or a bow
with one eye closed.
You have both eyes open.
And you see and then they do it
and they do it again and they do
it again and they do it again and
I'm correcting and I'm correcting and I'm correcting
and I'm applauding and I'm teaching and I'm
moving their hand.
Now, let me give an example from my
oldest son, Ian.
He hates this example, but it's a really
good one.
We were in this this house and had
woods and everything, we just moved there.
It's woods.
He's all excited.
His little brother's all excited.
They're out there, you know, hunting grizzly bears
and stuff.
And so they're just all wild with excitement.
So I'm sitting there on the couch and
I'm preparing for a message.
I got my Bible there and everything.
And all of a sudden, Ian runs in
the door like some wild Banshee, slams it,
runs to his room.
And I keep studying, runs out of his
room, runs out the door, slams the door
again.
So I'm mad.
OK, so my Bible get up, go over
the door.
But while I'm walking across there, I realized
something, this text training.
Now, was there rebellion in that boy's eyes?
Did that boy come in there and say,
Dad said, don't slam the door, but I'm
going to slam it.
Now, that's not what happened.
There wasn't rebellion.
What was it?
It was a wild six year old hunting
grizzlies.
That's what was going on.
But one that needs to be trained just
because he's young and just because he's full
of excitement, that doesn't mean that behavior is
thrown out the window.
He needs to know how to control that
excitement.
So I go out there and instead of
getting mad like, what are you doing?
I don't you know, you live in a
barn or something.
You go out and go, Ian, come here.
Yeah, you slam the door.
Oh, I'm sorry.
OK, don't slam the door.
You don't want to slam the door.
Other people are doing other things in the
house and you need to think about it.
OK, I sit down five minutes later.
Ian runs in, slams the door.
Now, again, it wasn't I hate my dad
and I'm slamming doors, but it was he
gets halfway across.
Ian, what did you do?
I don't know.
You slammed the door.
Oh, OK, but see, that's not good enough.
What you got to do now is take
time, put the Bible up, come over here
to the door.
OK, open the door, open it, close the
door without making a sound.
OK, now I want you to open the
door, go out, close the door, open the
door.
Come in, close the door four times.
OK, it's like this goes out.
It's fine.
Go back.
This really happened.
So I go back and I sit there
and I got my Bible and.
I don't know how many minutes passed and
all of a sudden the door opens up,
Ian flies in.
Wham.
But the moment he went, wham, he goes,
oh, it's like he's been hit, you know,
abducted by an alien or something.
He just is.
And I go, what?
You are.
I said, all right, go back to the
door back before.
Now he can be running at 100 miles
an hour with an actual grizzly bear behind
him.
But when he comes to that door, all
of a sudden he goes in slow motion.
All right, now here's the whole point.
He wasn't rebelling.
He needed to be trained.
And men, this takes time.
Guess what?
You don't want to give time, don't have
children.
I could say not only why some men
shouldn't discipline their children, why some men shouldn't
have children and even take it farther, why
some men shouldn't get married.
Really, really.
It takes time.
And time is a great killer with regard
to discipline.
It's just like you're in Wal-Mart.
This happened with Ian, too.
It's in Wal-Mart.
And somehow, I don't know, even when they're
like four, they figure out we're in a
public place and there's cameras.
I'm safe.
And so it's OK, the baskets pretty much
full.
He's not being obedient.
It's pick him up, leave the basket, the
groceries, everything, go out to the car or
even go all the way home if necessary,
take care of this matter and then come
back and shop again.
Yeah, it takes a long time.
So it's it's training.
Now, let me share something with you.
You start this when they're little.
By the time they're six years old, if
you have not been working at this enduringly
and longly, you will have trouble on your
hands.
Child's character is formed by the time it's
six or seven years old.
That's why in Europe now they want the
public schools, they want the children there by
the age of three, because they know if
they get them there by the age of
six, it's too late in our in our
church.
And I'm just saying this, I'm not an
elder there, so I can I guess I
can talk good about my church without being
proud.
But I mean, it's we don't and I'm
not saying it's wrong to have Sunday school,
but we just don't have Sunday school, the
children sit in that congregation and when they're
little, they sit there in that congregation and
they learn how to sit, because if they
don't learn how to sit, then you take
them home and you train them how to
sit.
You get a little bench and you sit
them on it and you teach them how
to be still and you teach them how
to do these things.
And you teach that child that when you
say come, they come and they don't even
ask a question.
You see, there's so much to be taught
here and we don't have time.
But the whole thing is, is that you
cannot convert your children.
And you should not be trying to bully
your children into some mold, but I want
to tell you something, if you will teach
and you will reprove and you will correct
and you will train and you discipline consistently
and biblically.
Then you won't have children, at least you'll
have a family that is managed well and
under control.
It's pitiful, I go to some places, I
go to churches and I see 40 year
old men.
They're like this, the child's disobeying like crazy,
but they know I've only got one option,
I've got to do, I've got to get
out of here, because if I try to
correct this child, if I try to say,
give me my watch back or be quiet,
they will go crazy and create a scandal.
And so you've got parents who are literally
subjugated under these little terrorists.
It's pathetic.
Sick.
Are begging a child, please come, please come,
please reduce to nothing.
Men.
And I'm not talking about bullying or beating
or anything like that, what I'm talking about
is discipline so that that child knows when
it's four years old, be quiet and that's
it, that's it.
Do not get up, get up, all those
are possibilities, but it takes time.
If one thing now there's some bigger guys
in here, you can probably whip me, but
I can tell you this, both of us
will be leaving in an ambulance.
OK, I want to tell you something.
Don't ever talk to me about quality time
because I'm just liable to rear back and
hit you.
Quality, I don't spend much time with my
children, just quality time baloney.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it because I know in
my own relationship with the Lord, it's not
like every time I bow my knee to
pray or have my devotional time that it's
like in the year that King Uzziah died,
you know, the Lord comes down into my
room.
But out of a copious amount of time
with the Lord, there are these quality times
that appear these special times.
It's the same way with children.
It's not you can orchestrate quality time, it's
through a copious amount of time with your
children that some quality times happen.
And guys, you're just going to have to
do this.
Wives, you're going to have to do this
and you're going to have.
Listen, you've got to get for the sake
of your children.
You've got to do this.
You can't allow just rebellion and disobedience and
you can't start on this when they're 14.
You start this from the very beginning.
But you don't just bully them either.
What you're doing is you're also winning their
heart.
Give you my give me your heart, my
son, spending time with them, loving them, serving
them when you blow it, asking for forgiveness.
It's working with them.
It's creating a life and a relationship with
them so that your greatest concern is that
they're going to do things just because they
want to honor and please their dad.
And it's not really from the heart.
That'll be your greatest concern.
Please, you must do this.
It's just an investment of time.
It's an investment of time.
There's so much I would like to say
to close, but let me say a few
other things.
Over the last twenty five, thirty years of
homeschooling, it's been serious.
And it's going to sound a little comical,
maybe it'll sound a little harsh, but I'm
just going to be true about it.
I want you to remember this.
I was raised in public school.
You say, well, I figured I was raised
in public school.
Where you you knew if you went to
the bathroom, you were going to get in
a fight.
Someone's going to bushwhack you in that bathroom.
You got tough.
You got to where there was a toughness
about you, and I don't mean that necessarily
in a bad way.
Fathers, listen to me over the last couple
of decades, and I've heard I've heard girls
talk about this homeschool girls calling the homeschool
boys jelly beans.
There's nothing about them.
They've been raised by their moms.
There's not a toughness there.
Oh, they may read, you know, books about
great adventures.
But there's little strength to them.
There's no scars on them.
Now, I'm totally against public school.
I'll tell you that right now.
But let me tell you something, men, if
you're going to homeschool your children, you better
get involved and you better find a way
to not just have those boys learn, you
know, read hentai stories or something or read
about great adventures or look in some catalog
and, you know, find something the coonskin cap
or something.
You need to do something with those boys.
Now, if you don't live on a 40
acre farm in Kansas.
You're going to have to figure out ways.
I do things with my boys to make
them tough.
I lift weights with them, I do it
and I make them hurt.
They split wood, they do whatever they have
to do.
Because there's got to be some toughness to
them, there's got to be some calluses on
their hands, it's got to be put in
and if they're not going to be getting
in fights in public school, then they're putting
on gloves with dad and fight a lot
better than those high school boys.
There's got to be some toughness there.
You've got to do something.
We can't just raise boys who know how
to do calligraphy.
We need to instill toughness also in these
boys.
Another thing, dads, know this, your daughter needs
you just as much as your son, if
not more.
She needs you.
She needs you and she needs you to
do stuff with her.
Another thing, I was teaching down in Louisiana
a long time ago and I saw homeschool
family come in.
I always say that I am one.
So I guess birds of a feather recognize
one another.
They walked in, but I could really see,
I mean, it was the dad first, the
mom, the oldest son, the youngest son, the
oldest daughter, the youngest daughter.
I mean, they were perfect, man, like 30
of them walk in.
And and I am I'm all for big
families, just sometimes we got to laugh at
ourselves.
And I was preaching about the time Ian
was four years old and we hooked into
this snapping turtle.
I mean, the thing looked like the Loch
Ness Monster.
It was big and he's he can't get
it up.
He's four years old.
He's slipping around in the mud and everything.
And he said, Daddy, get him, get him.
So I waited out there and I get
about up to my waist.
I'm thinking, you know, I'm not a 20
year old anymore.
This thing's going to sling its head around
and nail me.
So I tried to grab it, couldn't grab
it, came back out, got a log or
we're pulling this thing up.
I'm telling this story in this church about
me and my oldest son wrestling this Godzilla
of a snapping turtle.
And when I got done, the oldest boy
of that big family.
I saw him walk toward me, but then
I got a little spook because he walked
toward me and he made sure that his
back was to his dad a bit.
I thought, oh, I need to be careful
here, which he's going to tell me something.
And all of a sudden, just tears started
coming down his face.
He goes, Mr. Washer, let me ask you
a question.
I said, yeah, he goes, did you really
do that?
I said, yeah, I really did it with
with Ian.
I said, yeah, I really did that with
Ian.
And it was just you and him alone.
You did that.
I said, yeah.
And he just goes like this.
I never did anything like that with my
dad.
I've never been alone one time with my
dad.
And I thought, you know.
I can tell I've been really sanctified because
I didn't whip that guy that day, but
I want to tell you something, it's like,
OK, you've got this huge family and you've
got all this stuff, but are you doing
things right?
Are you doing things right?
Another thing I want you to know, all
these a lot, there's a lot of good
homeschool teachers out there and everything, but I
also I'm a little bit fed up with
the idea of these guys that, you know,
they have these huge families, they do all
these wonderful things, but they're teaching all these
homeschool conferences.
They're pulling down some really big bucks and
they can do a lot of these things
with their family.
But most of us, most of you, you're
sitting out there, you're working day and night
to put food on the table, trying to
meet some standard that they're able to meet
because they're making a whole lot more money
than you are.
And being being a true Christian is not
about being a homeschool family on a 40
acre farm because most of us can't afford
three acres.
And what you've got to do is you've
got to look at where you live and
say, how can I pour as much of
my life as possible and much of the
gospel as possible into my wife and my
children and then realize, like everything on this
side of the planet, there's some holes in
homeschooling, there's some holes in all this subculture
that's being created and we need to just
be careful that we just need to be
biblical.
I know, you know, it sounds like bad
some of the things I've said the last
two days, but I want you to know
something.
We just need to get back to the
scriptures and we need to realize that the
only solution is God and the gospel.
And we need to honestly look at our
children and say, am I spending time with
them?
Am I doing things?
Dads, you really got to look at something.
I know it's hard to work and I
know what it's like to be tired.
But that's just what we do.
We're men, we go to bed tired, you
get done with that work, you haven't finished
your work.
There's a family now, you take care of
them, you do things with them.
Another thing.
And again, I'm just throwing things out.
It doesn't matter how godly my wife is.
It doesn't matter how joyful she is or
isn't.
I'm the one that's going to set the
mood of the family when I walk through
that door.
It's the way, you know, men always talk
about, you know, I'm the head of the
family.
You need to realize being the head of
the family brings some horrific responsibilities that my
wife, her personality is not going to set
the mood for our home.
I am.
If I come in from the office beat,
dead, tired, depressed, whatever, it's going to be
like darkness entered into that home.
And I can say it because I've done
it right.
I've done it wrong.
You talk about being the head of the
family.
You are the head of the family and
the way you are in that family.
Is going to determine how that family is.
I heard one man say this and I
hardly agree with him, he said, in all
the years of studying homeschoolers and family, he
says, I've only found one common denominator.
Joy, joy.
That the houses were filled with joy.
Isn't it amazing the fruit of the spirit
is righteousness, holiness, separation.
That's not what it says, is it?
The fruit of the spirit is love.
Joy, you think Paul got that wrong?
Wouldn't we have put something else there?
He didn't get it wrong, word of God's
inspired love, joy, joy.
Joy.
Which means you ought to have family devotions
and sometimes you ought to grab your wife
in the kitchen, do a jig all the
way out into the living room with all
the kids laughing their head off.
I'm not kidding, guys.
It's life.
Lastly, I'm going to sound like those ladies
who are talking about healthy food.
And eat right and take care of yourself
so that you can work harder so you
have more energy and more strength to pour
into the will of God.
A lot of people can't do what they
need to do because they're so unhealthy.
They don't eat right and take care of
themselves.
It's like the cartoon where a guy's sitting
there on the doctor's examination table and the
doctor says, you need to exercise.
The guy goes, I don't have time to
exercise.
And the doctor says, do you have time
to die?
Say, well, the Apostle Paul didn't exercise.
Nobody swam in an ocean and walked about
24 miles a day.
You must, in order to put in the
amount of time that you need to put
in, you must take care of yourself so
that you can pour out more of yourself
to God, to your wife, to your children,
to your church, to the world.
Let's pray.
Father, thank you.
And Lord, this.
This mess of stuff, Lord, this variation of
things that I've said, all disconnected, I pray,
Lord, that you would take it and use
it in the hearts of people.
That we would be men of grace, women
of grace, that our children would be raised
in both the fear and the joy of
the Lord, that we would be servants, Lord,
in the manifestation of your church, Lord, that
we'd stand before you on that day and
hear, well done, my good and faithful servant,
enter into the joy of your master.
Help us, Lord, in Jesus name, Amen.