If you have your Bibles, you can turn
to Matthew 21.
Matthew 21, verse 28.
But I'm not going to go right into
the text.
I'm going to talk to you tonight about
the topic of regret.
And actually more specific, overcoming the pain of
regret.
Does anybody have any regret in this room?
The first service wasn't very honest, so I
need some honesty at the second.
Okay, thank you.
Because nobody raised their hand.
I'm like, well, this is pointless.
Right, Jim?
Nobody is, we're all good here.
But this type of message too, you're going
to want to probably get copies of, CD
or online or send it to people because
there's a lot of people dealing with regret.
The addict who has lost everything.
The person whose marriage is falling apart.
Moms and dads who look back and they
say, we just did not raise our kids
good.
We have so much regret.
And we live in a lot of regret
if we allow the enemy to come in
and continue to badger us in that area.
And I'm just going to talk about three
things.
I'm going to talk about the pain of
regret, the path of regret, and the power
of regret.
And no, I didn't plan it with three
Ps, it just happened that way.
But the pain of regret, the path of
regret, and the power of regret.
Because I truly believe that God can take
stumbling blocks and make them, turn them into
stepping stones when we give him everything.
Interesting thing, the first point, the pain of
regret.
Regret is one of Satan's tools to discourage
us.
It can lead to shame and depression.
It's an endless cycle that leads us back
into sin and bondage.
So this is the harm with regret.
I regret something and I get into this,
this, this mode of regret and shame, and
then it causes me to fall back into
the very thing that put me there.
And then I fall back into the sin
and regret and shame, and then because of
that, because now I'm depressed and regretting and
just feel like worthless before God, I fall
back into the thing that put me there
again.
And it's this endless cycle that I believe
God wants us to get out of.
And what happens is private sin will eventually
become public disgrace.
Private sin, when sin runs its course, will
become public disgrace.
Everybody thinks, well, I can just hide this
little sin here and no, James, as James
says, it grows like a little child and
it gets bigger and bigger and sin eventually
leads to death, death of a marriage, death
of a family, death of spiritual, of our
spiritual life toward God.
And the enemy will use that, he'll expose
things so we get caught in the cycle
of regret.
With that said though, there is tremendous hope.
Here's the hope.
If you choose to encounter the pain of
discipline over the pain of regret, and I
hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but there are two pain.
I mean, you're going to feel pain either
way.
There's living with the pain of regret.
And any of you who've been there, you
know, and if some of you stuck in
that, the pain of regret is very debilitating.
But you're going to either have to experience
the pain of regret or the pain of
discipline.
When Jesus said, count the cost, pick up
your cross, follow me, there are certain spiritual
disciplines that must occur in order to pull
us out of the pit of regret.
And the reason I call it a pit
of regret is because what happens is you've
got to get out of that one step
at a time.
There is a way out, there is hope,
there is freedom, but it's one step at
a time.
And we want to tell people that.
You do get out.
I want to tell the addict in their
fifth recovering home, you can get out, or
the person on their third marriage, and now
they're heading to divorce court, you can get
out.
I've blown it in this area, but you
can get out of that pit of regret.
Don't allow the enemy to keep you there.
I like what Paul said, one thing I
do, one thing I do, forgetting those things
which are behind and pressing forward to the
things that are ahead.
This is Paul who killed Christians.
This is Paul who mocked the church.
This is the same Paul who held the
coats as they killed Stephen the first martyr.
And he said, I forget those things that
are behind and I push forward to the
goal of honoring Christ.
And unfortunately, it's often not until a person
hits rock bottom that they turn to God
unconditionally.
I wish it wasn't true, but that's the
sad truth of everything, is many people, until
they hit rock bottom, don't turn everything over
to God.
That's the wonderful thing about, say, You Turned
for Christ, or David Wilkerson's Teen Challenge, those
kinds of things, is people get to the
rock bottom and then they finally turn everything
over to the Lord.
But I want to talk about that rock
bottom moment for a minute, and I think
I read this excerpt last summer, but I
thought of it this week and I wanted
to again read it because it's so important.
And it's from the book Embracing Rock Bottom.
She said this, Maybe you've hit your rock
bottom moment.
Maybe you're right there now.
If so, I've got good news for you.
Many times God does His best work in
our lives when we are at rock bottom.
When we are finally there, you know that
you've got nothing except what God can give
you.
And let me tell you, friend, that's the
best place to be.
Embrace your rock bottom moment.
The author continues, Realize that while you are
at your very low point, possibly the lowest
in your life, God doesn't want you to
stay there.
That's vitally important.
God does not want you to stay there.
As Psalm 34, 6 says, I cried out
to the Lord in my suffering, and He
heard me.
He set me free from all my fears.
Thank God it doesn't say I cried out
to the Lord in my suffering.
He said, Too bad.
Stay there.
These are your consequences.
Leave me alone.
He just says, Cry out to me.
Cry out to me in your suffering and
your despair.
I will hear you, and I will set
you free.
That's one of the wonderful things about a
rock bottom, is it can focus us back
towards God.
Your greatest failure and your lowest point, your
rock bottom moment may very well be the
precise time and place that God is choosing
to begin a great work in you, if
you are willing to humble yourself and allow
God to start the process.
In the rock bottom, really what it is,
you've heard that term, a person gets to
the end of themselves, and they finally say,
I'm done.
It's over.
God, please, would you help?
Would you save me?
That's so true.
Many times, we get to our rock bottom,
and we get depressed, and we start to
regret, and we go back into addiction, back
into bondage, back into relationships, because we're at
that rock bottom saying, Whoa, it was me.
Instead of looking at that point and saying,
God, now you can rebuild my life.
To be honest with you, to be transparent,
in 1998, I hit my rock bottom.
I lost financially.
I lost relationally.
My wife divorced me.
I had biblical grounds, adultery, abandonment, and just
alcohol, addiction, arrogance, everything took its toll.
I mean, just bam, everything.
The prodigal son was eating with the swine.
And God used that rock bottom moment to
turn me back to Him.
Actually, there would be no West Side Christian
Fellowship if it wasn't for God redirecting me
in that rock bottom moment in time.
So I have a great passion to help
people when they're at the rock bottom, understanding
that when God rebuilds a life, no man
can shut that door.
No man can pull you back.
When God rebuilds and when God strengthens, and
we look at the rock bottom as a
ton of regret.
I've blown it now.
Everybody knows.
I've got this big D on my forehead,
right?
You've been there, you know that?
This is just misery, this is depression.
God says, good, now you'll get rid of
everything you think about yourself.
You'll remove that arrogance.
You'll remove that pride.
Now I can shape and humble you and
mold you like a piece of clay.
The rock bottom moment.
So we look at the rock bottom, we
look at the regret as this is over,
I'm toast, I've ruined everything.
God says, no, now you're in a position
to where you'll hear my voice and you'll
truly follow me.
So whoever you know, if you get this
message out to them or if you need
to hear this, understand that God can create,
God can use your rock bottom moment, this
period of tremendous regret, and it can thrust
you to him.
Because we've talked about this, how do you
know God is healer unless you've ever been
sick?
How do you know him as Jehovah Jireh,
my provider, unless you've ever been in need?
How do you know him as the great
redeemer unless you've ever been held captive?
How do you know him as the God
of the universe unless you've looked up at
the stars and cried out to him?
I mean, we usually don't know God in
his fullness until we go through something, until
we hit that rock bottom moment.
But I need to say this, the pain
may not leave completely but God's grace will
be sufficient.
And people need to be reminded that sometimes
they hit their regretting and they cry out
to God and two days go by and
they go, but Shane, I still feel the
pain.
Yeah, I do too, many times.
I feel the pain, I feel the anguish
of mistakes I've made in my past.
If I could go back, whoa, if I
could go back.
If I could go back, I'd probably have
a 24-year-old son or daughter.
I've talked about before and when I conceded
to my girlfriend's request to abort our child
24 years ago and living, I mean, that
never leaves.
I don't know about you but that pain
is there and there's consequences but God's grace
is sufficient.
And I don't know how this works but
I thank God that it works, that sometimes
the greater the pain, the greater the relationship
with the Father.
Those who have been forgiven much love much.
So tremendous pain can bring a tremendous relationship
with God.
My grace is sufficient.
See, most people don't really understand God's grace
until they've been to a point to where
there's been so desperate for Him that His
grace actually becomes a reality.
We look back and we say, God, I
should have died 10 years ago or 20
years ago or 30 years ago but Your
grace has held me.
Your grace has sustained me.
That's why Paul said, remove this thing from
me.
We don't know what it is.
A lot of people think they know what
it is.
You don't know what it is.
Paul said that he was given a thorn
to buffet him, a messenger of Satan to
keep him humble.
And he prayed and he prayed, God, take
this away.
And God said, my grace is sufficient.
Somehow, some way, this pain draws us into
a deeper relationship with God.
And thank God for that.
And I've seen people, you have too, as
I say, they were raised in a leave
it to beaver home.
They went to school and nothing's really ever
bad has happened.
They don't know God in a powerful way
often.
They don't know Him as healer and redeemer.
They've never cried out to Him at two
in the morning.
They've never spent three hours on their knees
before Him and in the Word of God
with tear-stained pages, ministering to their heart.
And then they come out of there and
they know God.
See, there's a big difference between knowing God
intellectually and knowing God relationally.
Many people have religion but not a relationship.
And it's often through that pain and through
that suffering that that relationship is built.
It's a very healthy thing.
I also want to remind you that you
plus God is a majority.
You, if you have God, you have all
you need and you are far better than
70% of the entire world.
Now add to that the blessings of America
and you're in the top 1%.
And I see so many people they're going
through so much and thank God you have
friends and family members that love you and
they'll walk through this with you.
Look, you have a roof over your head.
You have running water.
You plus God is a majority.
And you can get back on track.
You can take that pain of regret and
put it off to the side.
So that was the introduction, the pain of
regret.
Let me read Matthew 21, 28.
And Jesus is asking this question.
It's actually an amazing question.
He's standing with the religious leaders.
He's talking to these.
Now these are religious leaders.
So we think, oh, they must have been
Christians.
They weren't Christians.
Actually the word Christian didn't come until later
when the disciples were first called Christians in
Antioch after Christ left.
But there could be, in the time when
Jesus walked the earth, there could be followers,
people who have repented and believe that he
is the Messiah.
So you have these religious leaders who have
not repented.
They actually mocked John the Baptist's ministry at
the Jordan River and they're questioning Jesus.
So Jesus says, what do you think?
Matthew 21, 28.
What do you think?
A man had two sons and he came
to the first and said, son, go and
work today in my vineyard.
And he answered and said, I will not.
But afterward, he regretted it and went and
worked in the vineyard.
Then he came to his second son and
he said to the son, go and work
in the vineyard.
And he said, oh, I'll go, sir.
But he did not go.
So Jesus asked the question, which one of
these two did the will of the Father?
Do we all know the answer, I hope?
First one.
But Jesus says, who did the will of
the Father?
But he said, no, I'm not going to
go.
But he regrets.
See, that's the power of regret, the power
of repentance.
A person can be out of God's will
and a moment later be in God's will.
It's a mystery.
The son is, I'm not going to go
work in the field.
I'm out of your will.
But he regretted it.
He turned.
Repentance is a change of mind that leads
to a change of action.
The real word, repentance, I believe it's mataneo
in the Greek or nakam in the Hebrew
language.
If you study those things, it's interesting.
It's mentally and physically.
I have to think it and then I
have to act it out.
Because you can't just repent in your mind
without actions backing it up.
And some people do the right actions, but
their mind is not repentant.
They just don't want to get caught again.
So true repentance is the mind changing and
the feet following.
That's true repentance.
And that's what this man did.
He said, I will not.
But then he went and repented and he
was back in the center of God's will.
Now, I'm going to make a statement here.
I know it's true.
You can think it's not if you want
to.
But all of us have said at one
time or another to God, I will not.
Everybody in this room.
You don't have me fooled for one second.
Everybody in this room has told God at
one point or another like this man did,
I will not.
I will not do that.
I will not go.
I will not do what you're convicting me
to do.
But that's really not the point.
The big question is, do you change course?
See, it's not have I disobeyed God.
It's what am I doing now?
And I think that's a word of encouragement
for some people today.
You know there are areas that God has
been convicting you in.
You've been saying, I will not.
And it's time to say I will.
It's time to get back on track.
I don't know if it's changing anything from
changing lifestyle habits, addictions, relationships you know you
should have ended, people you should have forgiven,
unforgiveness, bitterness, whatever it is, there's something out
there for some of you that you need
to get back in the center of God's
will.
It's time to stop fighting God and stop
ignoring that and get back in the center
of God's will by following that conviction.
And many people actually, who did the will
of the Father?
That brings up another question.
A lot of people ask, I'm sure you've
asked before, what is God's will?
Have you ever thought that?
What is God's will?
Well I'm going to share with you a
few things right out of scripture that says,
this is God's will for your life.
Start here.
This is where we start.
Number one, God's will.
And you can get these in 1 Timothy,
1 Thessalonians, Ephesians, and Matthew.
I've got these references if you need them.
His will is that you are saved and
worship Him.
To be holy and set apart for His
glory, to be filled continually with the Holy
Spirit, to witness to others and to make
disciples.
That's His will.
In here.
This is how you get out of the
pit of regret really quick.
Number one, His will is that you should
be saved.
The Bible says that God is not willing
that any should perish, but all come to
saving faith.
Start there.
So many people are dealing with regret.
Even they come to church and they're dealing
with tons of regret because they're not in
the right relationship with God.
They haven't repented.
They aren't saved.
So that's God's number one will for your
life.
I've talked to people, believe it or not,
saying, Shane, I want to know what God's
will is for my life.
Should I go to this school?
Should I marry this person?
Should I?
I mean, no, I've never repented.
I've never, you know, done all that weird
stuff.
And I really don't have a relationship with
Him.
But what is His will for my life?
And I want to say, get a big
referee whistle out there.
Say, stop.
None of that matters.
His primary will is that you are saved.
That you're saved.
You have a relationship with Him.
The next one is to worship Him.
To be saved and to worship Him.
That's His will.
So here's a big, big biggie.
If you're not worshipping God, you're not in
His will.
And driving down the road, putting on a
radio station, listening to worship is not worshipping.
That's driving while listening to a good song.
Worshipping is taking time out of your day.
And that's a great song.
When I'm listening to Let It Rain, sometimes
I'll say, rewind, rewind, rewind.
People say, that's weird.
That's emotionalism.
No, I call it worship.
Because it takes the first 20 minutes to
get all the junk out of my heart.
It takes the first 20 minutes to get
me positioned right again.
To worry about, what's my phone?
What's in the text email?
And what's going on today?
And you have to take time and pull
back and begin to worship God.
That's how you determine what His will is.
Because as you're worshipping God, His will becomes
crystal clear in many areas.
Because you begin to pray like the Father
would want you to pray.
To be holy, to be set apart for
His glory.
What's holiness?
Well, we've talked about that how many times?
It's you look like a Christian, not the
world.
That's the abridged version.
Do we look like a Christian or do
we look like the world?
And to be filled continually with the Holy
Spirit, to witness to others, and to make
disciples.
That is the will of God.
This is where we start.
So if you're still reading Matthew 21, verse
32.
So here's where it gets interesting.
Jesus said, who did the will of the
Father?
Well, obviously, we know.
But they said to Him, the first.
And Jesus said to them, Assuredly, I say
to you that tax collectors and harlots enter
the kingdom of God before you.
For John came to you in the way
of righteousness, and you did not believe him.
But tax collectors and harlots believe in him.
And when you saw it, you did not
afterward repent and believe him.
Now, we just read this and go, oh,
that's interesting.
If you were 2,000 years ago and
you heard this, Jesus is scolding the religious
leaders of His day.
These men, they're dressed in expensive robes.
They're leading the temple worship.
And Jesus says, Harlots and tax collectors are
getting into heaven before you.
You think that went over well?
But He's telling them the truth.
He says, You saw sinners going to John's
baptism, John the Baptist, in the chilly Jordan
River.
They're repenting.
They're being filled with the Spirit of God.
Well, the Spirit was given later.
Let's just say they're repenting and being in
right relationship with God.
And God could have given Him a Spirit.
The difference between Old Testament and New Testament
is Old Testament, God does pour out His
Spirit on certain individuals.
In the New Testament, now the Comforter has
come.
Once you believe, you have all of the
Holy Spirit.
So these believers that were being baptized, they're
followers of Christ.
The religious leaders saw it and they saw
these changes and they still didn't relent and
actually repent, even though they saw the good
works of God.
It reminded me that the super spiritual, the
religious, and the legalists are on the broad
road to destruction because of their hypocrisy.
This is why Jesus says, Well did Isaiah
say of you, You draw nigh unto me
with your lips and honor me with your
words, but your hearts are far from me,
and in vain you worship me.
I just thought about the church today.
How many people are in our churches that
are super religious, legalistic, like these Pharisees, and
they're worshiping the Lord in vain?
What does vain worship mean?
It means unsuccessful, to no avail.
There's no purpose.
It's fruitless.
There's no heart engagement.
There's nothing there.
The heart's not engaged.
It's like singing that song, Let It Rain.
Worship a heart that's not engaged is going
to be bored.
They're going to be like, Let it rain.
Okay, what's for dinner?
Man, we're past.
Isn't Shane supposed to be up there already?
This is running late.
There's no heart engagement.
We're worshiping the Lord in vain.
That's a place that we need to check
our hearts often to make sure we are
worshiping God.
You can look into a person's heart by
how they treat others.
You can see a person's heart.
You show me how a person treats others,
and I can show you their heart.
Think about it.
They didn't want harlots and tax collectors and
all these people at the church.
They were better than them.
I can't believe that one man who prayed,
that one religious leader said, Jesus, I thank
God that I'm not like this tax collector.
I'm so spiritual.
And that's what they were.
But this person, even today, they become indignant
when the drunkard, the divorcee in the attic
is sitting next to them in the pew.
Shane, does that happen today?
Oh, you'd be very sad at what I
can sometimes see in expressions and what we
know and people just, Oh, who's that?
Yeah, it's their church.
See, your heart's not in a good spot.
If you can't worship with sinners, your heart's
not in a good spot.
So let's take the test we like to
take twice a year.
Are you known as a loving, joyful, peaceful,
content, gentle and kind person?
Or are you rigid, arrogant, divisive, critical and
angry?
Let me read the list again, or is
that enough?
And that's when people say, I'm not sure.
Ask your spouse.
Ask your spouse or your kids.
They will not lie.
Out of the words of Babe is perfect
praise, right?
The kids will tell you the truth.
And in all seriousness, it's important to take
the test because are we known?
Are we filled with the Spirit?
Of course we're going to get angry.
Of course we're going to deal with arrogance.
And of course we're going to have a
critical spirit from time to time.
But is the outflowing work of the Holy
Spirit obvious?
Are we loving and kind and gracious and
gentle?
Because that's the filling of the Spirit.
If none of that is ever present, you
have to wonder, what am I filled with?
What am I filled with if I don't
have the fruit of the Spirit there?
And that's why you can look at a
person's heart by how they treat others, because
eventually out of the abundance of the heart,
the mouth is going to speak.
And how you treat others speaks volumes as
to where your heart is at.
Do you care for those who are addicted
or divorced or the drunkard or the homeless
person?
How do you treat them?
Could they sit next to you?
That's a good test.
Could the person sit next to you?
Because that's what these religious leaders were doing.
And Jesus said, you hypocrites, they're going to
enter heaven before you.
I mean, it's amazing.
It's absolutely amazing, this scene.
So my encouragement would be to stop saying
but, to stop making excuses and start surrendering
to the work of the Spirit like the
first man did.
The first man said, I will not.
He regretted it.
There's a conviction there, knowing he didn't do
the right thing.
And he went back and got into the
will of the Father.
That's very encouraging.
That no matter where we're at right now,
we can get back into the will of
the Father.
But let's talk about the path of regret
for a minute.
Psalm 107.10, those who sat in darkness
and in the shadow of death, they were
bound in affliction and iron, because they rebelled
against the words of God and despised the
counsel of the Most High.
Therefore he brought down their heart with labor.
They fell down, and there was none to
help.
Whether you know it or not, that's what
a person caught in regret feels like.
And I know probably a lot of people
in this audience maybe are saying, I'm not
sure.
I've never quite felt that low.
Well, that's good.
But there's a lot of people who have
been that low.
They can feel the shadow of death.
They can feel that what the word of
God says here.
Their heart is heavy with labor.
They fall down.
There's no one to help.
They're in this pit of despair.
But, verse 13, then they cried out to
the Lord in their trouble.
And he saved them out of their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the
shadow of death.
He broke their chains in pieces.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the
Lord for his goodness.
And the Bible just doesn't put oh there
because it needed some space.
That oh there is powerful.
The psalmist is saying, oh, would you not
look to God?
Oh, please.
Oh, turn to him that men would give
thanks to the Lord for his goodness and
for his wonderful works to the children of
men.
For he has broken the gates of bronze
and cut the bars of iron in two.
He's like, what's he talking about?
He's talking about iron and bronze were the
strongest things back then.
And when God can just break those things
into any chain, any addiction, any bondage, like
that song we used to sing a long
time ago, break every chain.
God can break every chain.
He can't if we turn to him.
But that's what happens.
That's a path of regret.
That's a true portrayal of regret.
Those who sit in darkness and in the
shadow of death, those held captive by sin
can relate.
Darkness and depression seem to overshadow everything.
So how does a person fall into regret?
Because they rebelled against the word of God
and despised the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore he brought down their heart with labor.
They fell down and there was none to
help.
Now, that's not a very popular verse, is
it?
If we take a survey right now, you're
probably not in a happy mood.
You're probably like, oh, man, that's heavy.
But the reason it's heavy is because it's
true.
See, there's a consequence to our actions.
And when we're dealing with regret, many times
we have to look at this.
Have I rebelled against God's commandment?
The imagery here is of a person stumbling
through life or locked in a prison where
no one can help.
Their heart is heavy and burdened as a
result of not doing God's will and obeying
His truth.
And I have no problem saying with that.
I want to shout it from the rooftops.
If you disobey God's will and His truth
long enough, if you keep mocking God, basically
God says you want it, you got it.
There's something in the Bible called Romans 1
that says, and they suppressed the truth with
all ungodliness and God gave them over to
their debased and corrupted mind.
See, that should be preached, that should be
proclaimed, that should be on TBN every hour.
Those kind of messages, right?
Turn to God, turn back to Him.
Because so many people are going through regret
because they rebelled against the word of God.
And instead of giving them the solution, we
keep patting them on the back and saying,
it's okay, buddy, no problem.
Just keep them pressing forward.
And we don't give them the solution.
The solution sometimes, all the time, is to
cry out to God and say, God, deliver
me.
And He will often allow trials, burdens, and
the pain of regret so that we look
to Him.
He's the only one that can truly help
us.
Verse 13, cry out to the Lord in
your trouble and He will save you.
Listen, that's a promise that will not fail.
I want to just talk about that for
a minute.
When you cry out to God in genuine
repentance, when you cry out to Him, that's
a promise that will not fail.
When He says, cry out to me, I
will save you, I will deliver you, that
will not fail.
Listen, you might not rely on Social Security.
I don't know who you're going to vote
for, but they're not the answer.
The church will let you down.
Your parents will let you down.
But God will never let you down.
Why?
Because He cannot lie.
When He puts truth into motion, that truth
will continue.
He cannot lie.
Anything, whatever.
That's why I often say you can pass
all these laws in favor of same-sex
marriage, but it will not change God's mind.
He put that truth into motion from the
foundation of the world.
You can't bypass it and discard it and
remove it as if God will negotiate.
Once truth is set in motion, it's set
in motion.
You either conform to it, because it will
not conform to you.
God's Word doesn't conform, it doesn't change with
the times.
It remains solid and unyielding, and thank God
for that.
Because that's something you can count on.
Now, we're in a culture now, you better
raise your kids in a culture, you're raising
your kids in a culture of relativism.
Relativism says what's right for you might not
be right for me.
And what's true for you might not be
true for me.
And they go through life thinking, well, I'm
not sure it's your truth, my truth, your
truth.
No, you need to let them know that
God's absolute truth is unyielding and will not
bend.
It's not flexible.
It's like I said when I preached before,
it's like a guiding light.
It's like a lighthouse.
It can't change.
Jesus said God's Word is truth.
And when you set truth in motion, it
can't move.
It can't get out of the way.
And here's how this works.
Regret, often regret is the result of wandering
from God, much like a ship that has
drifted off course.
But as soon as the correct course is
set, hope, peace, and joy return.
Here's how it works.
A person gets in regret, or they get
into misery by disobeying God's Word, and they
just feel like this weight of the world.
They feel this burden they can't get off.
And once they turn their course around and
get back on track, God often frees them
of that.
Now there's this joy and peace that returns.
The joy of my salvation, David said that
it would return, but it took him a
year of running from God.
Nathan the prophet came in, rebuked David, he
repents, and now that restoration process started.
Now I'm not saying that all anxiety, all
fear, all regret is the result of sin.
I hope you realize that.
But I would say that the vast majority
of regret that we deal with is because
we've disobeyed God's Word.
I mean, I look back at all the
regret of my life.
I never said, you know, I really regret
obeying God's Word back then when I was
25.
That has not paid off for me.
Never, ever.
It's always the result of disobeying many times.
And it kind of breaks my heart because
that's a loving Father.
We don't realize.
I mean, you talk about second chances.
How about 150 chances?
I mean, sometimes I go, God, I am
how do you deal with us?
How do you deal with us again and
again and again?
I mean, I should have been dead at
17.
I should have been dead at 22.
I've rolled trucks and vehicles and totaled them
and not even know how I got home.
I've made tons of mistakes in my past.
I go, God, how?
I don't understand this.
But see, that's how you understand grace.
Now grace makes sense.
And I don't like when people just flippantly
use that term, grace.
And they allow, they continue in sin and
they just use the word grace and they
actually mock God's grace.
Because Paul explains in Romans that should we
sin more because of God's grace?
Certainly not.
The goodness of God should lead us to
repentance.
And when somebody truly understands God's grace, you
see, that's interesting because people see, you know,
I get emails sometimes that, oh, you're just,
you know, moralistic or elite.
People have to follow all these rules.
And we're under grace now, brother.
I want to say, yeah, but when you
truly understand God's grace, you want to live
for him.
I don't understand where you're coming from.
It's not rules.
It's I want to please the Father who
saved me.
How is that?
That's not rules.
I want to live a holy life, a
life set apart for him.
I want to worship him because I want
that relationship, not rules.
And the closer you draw to God, the
more different you're going to look in the
world.
And they're going to say rules.
I say no relationship.
Rules, no relationship.
Legalism, no relationship.
Legalism at its core is I'm going to
do these things because I'm spiritual.
I'm going to be right with God because
I do all these things.
Relationship says, Lord, because you saved me and
because this grace and mercy is just poured
out on my life, I want to obey
your word and please you.
And I want to follow your guidelines.
Big difference.
It's a hard issue.
It's always a hard issue.
But here's a caution I want to throw
out here for those going through the pain
of regret or trying to rebuild their life.
Be very, very careful who you share your
thoughts with and your life with and who
you call friends because a listening ear can
also be a running mouth.
That's tweetable.
Is tweetable a word?
I don't think so.
Twitterable.
But it's true.
A listening ear can also be a running
mouth.
Surround yourself with people who build you up
rather than pull you down.
Here's why.
You can research this.
You can look to any resource.
You already know this.
I don't even have to tell you.
The number one reason why people fall back
into the things that put them in a
state of regret is because of ungodly influence.
They fall back into a pattern of sin
because of ungodly influence.
Especially young adults.
That's off the chart.
I talked to a white back probably earlier
in the year.
Gosh, I don't know.
Where do these kids get this stuff?
Heroin, Oxycontin, crystal meth.
They're coming off these things.
I say, disconnect Facebook.
Throw that cell number away and get a
new number that just your mom and your
dad have.
You get buried in the church.
No, I can't do that.
That's not fun.
What happens two weeks later?
Back to the same thing.
Why?
Because that influence.
See when you're dealing with those kind of
things, you're not strong enough to pull somebody
up to your level.
They're going to pull you down to theirs.
That's just the truth.
When you come out of something, you can't
instantly begin to go back in that same
environment.
The number one reason why people fall back
into sin is because of ungodly influence.
Just read Psalm 11 tonight.
Blessed is the man who walketh not in
the counsel of the ungodly, nor does he
sit in the seat.
Blessed is the man who walks not in
the counsel of the ungodly, nor does he
sit in the seat of the scornful.
And he doesn't stand in the path of
sin, but he delights in the law of
the Lord and he meditates day and night.
That's the success story.
Who is influencing you?
Those who pull you back into that lifestyle
or those who lift you up out of
it?
Because I see this a lot.
People fall back into sin when they're talking
to the wrong people.
People fall into adultery and say, oh, but
my co-workers were encouraging it.
Yeah, exactly.
They watch Desperate Housewives and then they encourage
you to do that.
Is it still on?
I don't know.
Give me some new programs after the sermon
that I can start picking on now.
I mean, when I saw Swapping Lives, I
was, Lord, help us.
That's all I can say.
Help us.
God, help us.
I mean, this, and Christians love these shows.
It just amazes me.
And we wonder why we've lost our spiritual
power.
We wonder why the church is, there's no
passion for God.
It's because of the wrong influence.
We're putting our mind in the wrong area.
And lastly, I want to talk to you
about the power of regret.
Now that you know the pain of regret,
the path of regret, how we get on
that path, here's the power of regret.
I love God because of this reason, too.
He allows us to turn stumbling blocks into
stepping stones.
What the enemy intends for evil, God makes
for good.
I don't know how it works.
I don't know how he designs all that,
but whatever the enemy is going to make
for evil and regret, God says, nope, I
can turn that around and make it for
good.
Remember I just talked about 1998, the hardest
year of my life.
Everything fell apart.
God is like, oh, Lord.
He says, don't worry.
You give your life to me.
I'll rebuild.
And now I have a lovely wife.
Couldn't pick a better.
I mean, God just knows what he's doing.
Four gorgeous kids, right?
That God, so I can give all that
up and go back to what I, no.
No, no, no.
Thank God for that time.
See, isn't that interesting?
Now I thank God for that time, but
at that time, I was miserable.
Because when you give your life back to
God, you say, Lord, rebuild the years that
the locust and the kangaroo swarm and all
these things took from me.
It's Old Testament imagery there of how the
locust would go and devour the whole land.
And God says, when you turn back to
me, oh nation of Israel, I will rebuild
everything that they took from you.
I don't know how it works, but that's
what God does.
He takes.
He takes what the enemy intends for evil
and he makes it good.
But we must cry out to him in
full surrender.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the
Lord for his goodness and for his wonderful
works to the children of men.
He broke the gate of bronze and cut
the bars of iron in two.
A one hour prayer can tear down a
year of the devil's work.
One hour of prayer can tear down a
year of the devil's work and one hour
of prayer can tear down a lifetime of
regret.
Here's the key.
There may be withdrawals.
There may be consequences and there will be
pain as we heal, but it's much easier
to experience the pain of discipline instead of
the pain of regret.
And here's why there's power in regret.
Regret can redirect a person back to God's
will.
Remember the first person said, I will not.
And then he regretted it and went back
to God's will.
So without regret, we would probably stay out
of God's will.
We jump out of God's will and said,
this feels pretty good.
I like this.
But God, because of the conviction of the
spirit, says, you don't like this.
You're not happy.
You know you're not happy.
Let's be honest.
Many people aren't happy.
They want to put happy face on Facebook.
That's one bad thing about Facebook is they
make everybody think they're happy and they're miserable
at home.
Right?
Just got my nails done, got a latte,
loving life.
No, you're not.
You're miserable.
That's why you're telling everybody that because you're
getting me sidetracked again.
Regret can redirect a person back to God's
will.
So look at regret and go, God, I
regret that.
Use it as a stepping stone back to
God's will.
Regret can lead to brokenness and humility.
You know, I talk about brokenness and humility
all the time, but regret can lead back
to that because sacrifices of the heart are
things that God will not turn away.
This is interesting.
We don't live back when Abraham lived, right?
We had to bring a she-goat, a
heifer, a turtle dove, a ram and a
pigeon to give to God.
And God said, split these up.
Make these.
I'll make a covenant with you.
And then people would bring their sacrifices to
God.
God says, I don't, I've done away with
all that sacrificial system through the shed blood
of Jesus Christ.
Now all you have to give to me
is your heart, your life, sacrifices.
Sacrifices of God are a contrite and broken
heart and those he will not turn away.
Paul told the church in Rome, beginning in
chapter 12 of Romans, he said, I beseech
you brethren.
He says, I beg you, I beg you,
would you present your bodies to God as
living sacrifices?
That's all God wants.
Anybody can give him that.
It's a living sacrifice, not money, not status,
not seven steps, but a living sacrifice.
And finally regret can rebuild a marriage and
a family and a life.
Don't let it continue to drive you down.
Let it build you up.
Regret can rebuild your life if you put
it in the right direction.
Because what happens when we get regret, do
we usually get happy and joyful or do
we get miserable?
And with misery, misery like company.
So we like to miserable, complaining, bickering, no
fun to be around, negative, and I just
stay in this hole of regret.
Don't do that.
Use it and say, okay, devil, you got
me the first round.
You should have killed me back then because
now I'm coming out.
Now I'm coming up.
Now I'm going to allow God to direct
my life and you're not going to continue
to win.
So allow regret to push you in the
right direction.
And one of the things I love, the
final thing about regret, is regret can lead
to salvation.
2 Corinthians 7.10, I'm going to read
from the nearly inspired version, NIV.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation
and leaves eternal no regret, but worldly sorrow
brings death.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation.
So when a person regrets, many times they
don't come to the altar.
Many times they don't pray and believe in
the name that saves and confess their sins
and allow God to change them without regret.
When life's going good, sadly God is often
the last thing on people's mind.
So regret can lead to salvation.
This is one of the hardest things you'll
see as a parent.
When you see your kids going through tremendous
suffering, sometimes it's the result of their own
choice.
It's very difficult.
But you know that that might be what
it takes to bring them home because the
party lifestyle has a kick to it.
The heart is the way of the transgressor,
the Bible says.
And they have to get to a point
sometimes of regret and anguish before they cry
out to God.
And I remember I was reading, many of
you know Jim Cimbala out in the Brooklyn
Tabernacle, I think it's New York.
And he talks openly about his daughter Christy
when she was into drugs and everything in
New York.
For two years him and his wife were
just broken over this.
But as a result of that, now she's
leading ministry, now she's on fire for God
because of going through that pain.
And many times we want to pull them
out of the pain and we want this,
but God sometimes lets them go through that
pain so they'll finally turn to Him.
So regret can lead to salvation.
So here's my closing thought.
You may be on your fifth recovery home,
your fourth marriage, you're living in the twilight
years of tons of regret, but God can
rebuild and restore and He can bring peace
in the midst of pain and join the
midst of regret if we call on Him.
Don't let discouragement and failure stand in your
way.
I can write an entire book.
I can write an entire book on my
failure, but instead I choose to follow Paul's
advice.
He says, but one thing I do, but
one thing I do, I forget those things
which are behind and I reach forward to
those things that are ahead.
And I often think of that verse, I
forget those things that are behind.
That tells me that I can remember.
And I can stay in that constant state
of remembering the past, remembering that regret.
Paul says, I choose to forget that.
And you forget that the mind is very
powerful.
The mind is very powerful.
That's where decisions are made.
That's where sin is first conceived.
That's where you take your thoughts captive.
The Bible says take your thoughts captive.
And you can say, Lord, that's not who
I am.
I'm forgetting those things now and I'm reaching
forward.
I'm reaching forward to You.
So lean on Him, love Him, and allow
Him to love you.
This is how we overcome the pain of
regret.
We allow God to rebuild our life.
It's interesting, this afternoon I circled, allow Him
to love you.
And this is hard.
Many of you remember I shared about my
past.
I realized that my dad never told me
that he loved me.
So I had this concept of God.
You know, it's hard when he doesn't love
me.
You know, you have this concept of God
because often of your father coming from a
hard home and anger and just not saying
he loves you.
I don't remember hugging or any of those
kind of things.
And you have to allow God to love
you.
It's funny.
I mean, I thought I'd never say something
like that.
But you do.
Lord, love me, please.
I know you're a loving father and I
just need your love.
I need you to rebuild me.
I'm turning everything over to you.
I don't care if I don't get immediate
results.
I don't care what the court decision is
tomorrow.
I don't care what this person says.
I'm following you 100%.
And that's how you rebuild your life.
That's how you overcome the pain of brokenness
and regret is you turn everything over to
Him.
You turn your pain over to Him.
The problem is many people don't become better.
They become bitter.
You know the old adage, the old saying,
it's true.
Pain makes you bitter or it makes you
better.
I remember that from 20 years ago.
I heard that and it's stuck with me
ever since because it's true.
We can lean on God.
That's how he pulls a person out of
regret and pain and suffering is you give
him everything.
And then the final question is the one
that Jesus asked, will sinners enter the kingdom
of God before you?
I don't know everybody's spiritual condition in this
room, but will sinners enter the kingdom of
heaven before you?
Basically, the same thing Jesus asked, I'm asking.
There are sinners that will get into heaven
before some people in the church because the
people in the church think they don't need
God.
Some people.
Like the Pharisees.
They were indignant.
They couldn't believe.
I'm spiritual.
We're sons and children of Abraham.
I've been raised in a Christian home, right?
All of my life I've heard it.
I've heard people say, oh, I'm Baptist.
Of course I'm going to heaven.
What does that have to do with anything?
Or the big one, I'm Catholic.
Well, that's not going to, prayers to Mary
is not going to cut it.
Are there sinners going into heaven before you
because you, like the Pharisees, you failed to
repent.
You've never repented.
You never relented.
You'll come and judge.
You'll come and do certain things, but you
never repented and allowed God to change your
life.
So I just want to encourage you, if
that's you tonight and you've been listening to
sermons before or you've been to church before,
stop playing games with God.
He knows the heart.
This isn't a hard message.
It's an easy message for those who want
to embrace it.
Because these Pharisees, these religious leaders would see
sinners and they would mock them in their
heart.
Look at that person.
But when you truly come to know God,
you realize we're all in the same boat.
We're all sinners saved by grace.
So I would just encourage you, if you
have never, never repented, truly repented and relented,
and you know there's judgmentalism and arrogance and
your heart's not right before God, you've been
playing church, I would encourage you tonight during
worship to change all of that.
Change it all with one simple prayer, God,
I need you.
I repent.
I'm not going to be like these Pharisees.
What's scary is all of these religious leaders
in Jesus' day, if I were to guess,
I would say 90% of them are
spending hell and eternity.
They not only rejected the Messiah throughout the
Old Testament road of the Messiah, they rejected
him when he was there, they rejected his
good works, and they rejected all the good
things they saw in people coming to know
him.
They rejected everything because of the pride in
their hearts.
And that's why the Bible says the pride
of your heart has deceived you.
And we have to talk about this area
and we have to look at our hearts.
Paul said examine yourself.
Do you not know yourself?
Is Christ not in you?
Examine yourself.
Examine.
It's very healthy.
Every one of us can do this, even
a 12-year-old.
If you examine your heart, do you know
God?
No.
Do you want to know him?
Yes, I do.
That's all you have to do is cry
out to him and say, Lord, save me.