So, here we go, Matthew 18, if you
have your Bibles, Matthew 18, verse 15.
And for those of you who have not
been here, we've been talking about sin in
the camp.
Sin in the camp and church discipline.
How do you handle sin in the camp?
How do you handle sin that's going on
in the church?
And we looked at two different extremes.
On one extreme is, you go get them,
Shane.
Let's get all those sinners.
Well, most of us would be in trouble,
right?
There's a process here.
No, it's not go get them, it's how
can we restore somebody, how can we help
them.
But then the other side is what we're
actually seeing a lot more of, is don't
say anything.
You see somebody caught in sin or doing
different things and they're actually enjoying it, they're
flaunting it.
And the church says, well, I don't want
to upset anybody.
I don't want to upset them.
But we have to remember, we're responsible to
what God says in His Word.
My primary responsibility is to God and His
Word, and that sometimes offends people, doesn't it?
That will, people will not like that.
So we have to find the middle, the
whole point of church discipline.
The whole point of this topic is, what
have we been talking about?
Restoration.
Restoration, we lovingly confront sin in the hopes
of restoring somebody.
And we did part one, part two, part
three, and this is the final part tonight,
part four.
And this is more specific on church discipline.
And what church discipline is, in a nutshell,
is when a person has a consistent and
persistent pattern of sin that is unrepentant.
They could care less, they're not going to
repent, and that person goes to them, we
bring maybe a couple elders or leadership or
people, two or three witnesses go, and we
talk to them and say, listen, this is
hurting your family, this is hurting the church.
There's people who care for you and love
you.
You've got to make some changes.
This is serious now.
We're involving other people.
And if they say, well, I don't care,
doesn't matter, then you've got to up it
a little bit and bring it to the
church.
And let the church lovingly confront that person.
Now, how does that look?
Well, I'm glad you asked because we're going
to talk about that.
But this is a good point to remind
you, or a good time to remind you
that there's not a one-size-fits-all
approach.
We're not going to have a list of
do this in this situation, do this in
this situation.
That's why a lot of prayer goes into
it, a lot of waiting on the Lord,
a lot of looking at what does God's
Word say, says we're often not in a
hurry.
If you're in a hurry to rebuke or
in a hurry to administer church discipline, often
the heart might not be right.
However, there are exceptions to that, are there
not?
There are exceptions.
When there's sin in the camp that's blatant
and obvious, I gave some illustrations in the
past, and I don't have to give those
again tonight, but there's times when you do
need to move quickly.
It's very obvious you need to move quickly.
There's nothing to pray about when the wife
is bringing her boyfriend to church while the
husband's at home, right?
I mean, that's going to be addressed pretty
quick.
But there's other things that can take time
as you wait on God.
So where we left off was Matthew 18
verse 15.
Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go
and tell him his fault between you and
him alone.
If he hears you, you have gained your
brother.
But if he will not hear, then take
with you one or two more, that by
the mouth of two or three witnesses every
word may be established.
And if he refuses to hear them, then
tell it to the church.
But if he refuses even to hear the
church, let him be to you like a
heathen and a tax collector.
And let me remind you that Jesus Christ
is saying this.
This is Jesus saying this.
A loving rebuke is definitely sometimes needed.
And many of you who have been brought
back to the Lord by a loving rebuke
know exactly what I'm talking about.
Because here's what happens in my life too,
in all of our lives.
If we continue in a pattern that's not
pleasing to the Lord, and we only have
cheerleaders and no coaches, when are we ever
going to turn back?
If nobody says anything, finances are going good,
God's not orchestrating difficult circumstances, hey, I'm all
that and a bag of chips, and I'm
not being confronted, and nobody says anything because
they don't want to upset, that person often
will continue.
It's not until somebody grabs and says, wait
a minute, do you realize you're going in
the wrong direction?
That often plants a seed.
And I'll tell you, nine times out of
ten, they're not very receptive.
They're not very happy when they're being confronted.
But you've planted the seed.
That's all God calls us to do, is
plant that seed.
So the second step we talked about last
week, if he will not hear you, take
with you two or three witnesses.
Now that does not mean you go to
somebody, you go get witnesses the next day.
He does not hear you tells me there's
a period of time there in which you
wait and you watch.
What are you watching for?
He will not hear you.
There's no change.
He will not hear you.
Hear means there's no change in his attitude
and his actions.
And that sometimes can take a little bit
of time.
And by bringing two or three witnesses, now
the offender realizes the seriousness of their sin.
And if he refuses to hear them, then
you tell it to the church.
And Jesus goes on to say, let me
read that again.
But if he refuses to hear the church,
let him be to you like a heathen
and a tax collector.
Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind
on earth will be bound in heaven, and
whatever you loose on earth will be loose
in heaven.
Now it begs the question, how do we
handle this in light of Jesus' teaching on
loving your enemies?
Does it seem like he's saying one thing
and doing another?
Wait a minute, treat him like a heathen
and tax collector.
But then earlier we learned in Matthew that
he says to love your enemies.
Well, always remember this, loving somebody does not
mean enabling them.
See, I can discontinue fellowship and I can
discontinue my friendship and still love them.
How many parents love their children and they
say, but Johnny, you're not living under this
roof anymore, unless that lifestyle changes.
You need to find somebody else, somewhere else
to live.
Dad, can you pay this?
No, I'm not going to enable you anymore.
I'm not enabling this addiction.
I'm not enabling that lifestyle.
I'm done being enabling.
I love you too much to watch you
continue to destroy your life.
So to me the context is everything.
An enemy is somebody who's our enemy.
There's plenty out there.
And Jesus is saying, listen, treat them with
respect.
Treat them with dignity.
Turn the other cheek.
If they take something, give something.
And you love them.
But the context of this is actually true
love is saying, I love you enough to
tell you I can't continue to allow you
to be friends with me.
And this is not the time to take
somebody to the movies, right?
Go golfing with them as if nothing happened.
This is a time where we lovingly confront,
and that is genuine love.
I don't know if it'll matter.
I didn't really have this in the sermon
notes, but I just thought of this as
I'm talking about this issue.
On this big issue right now that you're
seeing in the news, gay marriage, and what
the nation calling good, what God calls not
good.
And everybody wants to remain silent.
We don't want to offend everybody.
We don't want to upset those struggling.
And I want to remind people that that's
not genuine love.
If you genuinely love somebody, you want to
lovingly warn and encourage them that Christ is
the answer.
And I talk to pastors all the time.
Well, not all the time, not in our
area.
But you'll read their blogs and different things
like, well, I don't want to say anything
about this issue.
We don't want to offend.
We just want to love them.
That's not loving them.
That's a coward.
You want to save face.
You want to build a ministry.
And you don't want to upset anybody because
you're worried about your reputation.
That's not love.
That's being a coward.
So we have to be clear on this
issue of truly loving somebody in this context.
If the church truly loves somebody, we would
go to them and take time, right, out
of our schedule, out of our busyness, and
we would take time.
We would sit them down and say, listen,
you're going in the wrong direction.
We love you enough to tell you this.
Somebody who really, if I really didn't care
or the leadership didn't care, we'd say, well,
turn them over to Satan.
I don't care less.
I'm just here to do my thing.
I don't want to be bothered by this.
That's not love.
So I think it's important to define what
love is.
Because we have this concept of God as
a doting grandfather or this cosmic ball of
love, which I talk about often.
But if you ask most people, that's their
definition of God.
He's just some cosmic ball of love or
a doting grandfather that winks at sin.
But Jesus himself said you better confront it
because it's cancer.
The more a church allows sin, blatant, unrepentant
sin, to continue, the more that church will
know not that the Spirit of the Lord
has departed from them.
Because God dwells with his people who are
repentant and broken and humble before him and
not allowing these things.
So let's talk about that for a minute.
He said tell it to the church.
Now there's a lot of confusion here.
Tell it to the church.
And that word in the Greek language is
ekklesia.
If you look it up, there's a couple
different meanings.
But the main meaning is a gathering of
like-minded believers.
So when Jesus said go tell it to
the church, the ekklesia, we immediately think of,
hear both services, all the people, go tell
everybody.
And I want to be careful in this
area because there's freedom to have differing opinions.
What I'm about to say I know not
everybody will agree with.
And I don't know if there's an exact
way to do this.
But I've been to, 10 years ago, I'll
never forget.
I was at this big church, probably 1
,000 people.
And they put some guy up on the
PowerPoint screen.
And I'm like I have no clue who
this is.
But now I do.
Now I know what he's, but I didn't
even know him.
So is that what Jesus had in mind
here?
And the church had good intentions.
And maybe that's the way, the route to
go.
I don't know.
But looking at this text, ekklesia, it's a
gathering of believers, in my opinion, who know
the person.
The person's influence in the church would determine
who the church is.
Right?
The person's influence in the church would determine
who the church is.
Pastor Shane you hear is leaving his wife.
Well guess what, the whole church needs to
know.
Because the influence.
But if Bill on the second row, second
service, who doesn't come very often, and nobody
really knows except a certain group of us,
is that the church?
Is that who you go to and you
let them know, hey, all of us, 12,
15, 20, 30 people, we need to lovingly
confront this person.
So in a nutshell, I think we have
to be careful when we're taking something to
the church.
You have to determine who even knows this
person.
Will it be productive?
Is that the goal, is to let everybody
know, even if they don't even know who
this person is?
Because in going to the church and confronting
something, there should be also a side of
us that wants to protect.
Because we often forget about the victim, don't
we?
Go get the guy, but what about the
wife and the children at home crying?
Saying, Daddy's not coming home.
You think they want all their junk up
there?
So we have to be careful in this
area and look at every situation and pray
it through.
So in my opinion, go and tell it
to the church, means those within the person's
sphere of influence need to know about what's
going on.
Because it's those people who can do the
next step, which is to treat him like,
how can I see this guy up on
the PowerPoint?
I have no idea who he is.
How can I treat him like even a
tax collector?
I can't.
I don't even know who he is.
But now I do.
Now I know he's walked out on his
wife and traded her in for a younger
model.
And now I know that this and that,
things I probably didn't need to know.
So I think that's the context here.
Again though, there's gray area in regard to
Jesus saying a gathering of believers.
You tell it to the church, the believers.
But we can glean some insight from 2
Thessalonians 3, 14-15.
And if anyone does not obey our word
in this epistle, Paul's talking to the church
in Thessalonica, you note that person.
So here's the setting.
The church in Thessalonica, they have a gathering
of people, probably a house church.
We forget that the church started in homes.
Did you know that?
There wasn't a big thousand seat sanctuary in
Jerusalem.
They had temples and different things.
But they met in homes.
So if anyone does not obey our word
in this epistle, so you have this imagery
here of people going to the small group
or going to the church, and this person
just does not want to obey them.
Just, you know, I don't care what you
have to say, and they're kind of contentious,
they're divisive, and Paul's like, enough of this.
How long?
Because we're supposed to be like-minded believers.
Now there's nothing wrong with a person coming,
having questions, and sincerely seeking.
But there are people there who were causing
division.
Have you ever met those people?
Yes.
I have, and it's not fun.
That's why Paul elsewhere would say, rebuke a
divisive person.
Just like, you're going to point out everything?
The color of the carpet?
You know, this and this and this.
They're just divisive.
So Paul's saying, do not keep company with
that person, that they may be ashamed.
But then he continues, do not count him
as an enemy, but admonish him as a
brother.
In other words, he's saying, listen, you are
so divisive this month, the word of God
says this, you're doing this, and we can't
continue to fellowship with you.
You're not my enemy, you're my brother, and
because you're my brother in Christ, I love
you enough to tell you the truth.
And I like what John Wesley said, commenting
on this passage.
Have no company with him, no intimacy, no
familiarity, no needless correspondence.
Tell him lovingly of the reason why you
shun him.
There's a shun, we don't use that word
much anymore, but a shunning is, listen, I
can't have needless correspondence, I can't have, let's
go to lunch, let's play golf.
The reason is because you're validating by your
silence that their lifestyle is okay.
You're well aware that saying nothing says something,
right?
If a person, for example, comes into church
week in and week out, month in and
month out, and they know that I know
that there's something going on in their life,
but I'm just not saying anything, I'm just
avoiding it.
By my silence, I confirm or strengthen their
position, strengthen them in their sin.
Actually, it's funny, if you read a lot
of the Old Testament, I like, one of
the books I like is Jeremiah, specifically Jeremiah
23.
It's talking about the false prophets of those
days, and even false prophets, you could parallel
that to today.
One of the characteristics of a trait, of
a false prophet, is to tell people peace,
peace, when there is no peace.
In other words, to say, don't worry about
it.
Continue in that destructive pattern.
God doesn't care.
God still loves you.
You're actually not warning.
That's why, in Jeremiah, he said, is not
my word like a hammer, like a fire
that devours?
But you have perverted the words of the
living God by not warning and instructing and
telling the people to come back to God.
You're encouraging their sin by your silence.
That's a false prophet.
They would encourage sin.
So all these guys out there that just
want to keep encouraging the church to keep
sinning and not confront anything, I don't know
if they're pleasing God.
Now, there comes a time for encouragement, right?
We all know that.
Please, please bring the encouragement.
But when it comes to a consistent pattern
of sin, there comes a time to confront
that.
We can't rush this process, nor should we
try to avoid it.
That's a key right there.
We can't rush this process.
Anybody that wants to rush church discipline often
has the wrong heart.
But we also can't avoid it.
We can't avoid speaking the truth in love.
Now, here's a couple of important steps I
want to share with you since we're talking
about this.
And the reason I wanted to fully exhaust
this over the last four weeks now, four
messages, is because if it ever comes up
or when we're dealing with this issue in
the future, we can just say, go watch
these videos.
We just covered everything.
If you want to know the church's position,
here they are.
So here's a couple of important steps.
This is actually before the church gets involved
or it's even after when the person says,
I don't care what the church says, I'm
going to continue.
Number one, we have to offer a solution
to the person.
It's very healthy, and I do this often,
to say, I will walk through this with
you.
There's hope.
But if you just confront somebody, and you
say, man, you're out of line, this and
that.
You're in trouble.
I don't care what you have to say.
Don't call me anymore.
They leave there going, uh-oh.
But if you say, listen, this is a
very destructive pattern.
I can walk through.
The church can walk through this with you.
Here's the steps you're going to need to
take.
Here's the healing that's going to need to
happen.
We've got to get your spouse plugged in
with some other women or other men, if
it's on the other side, and walk through
this with you.
We're going to be here.
It's going to be hard.
It's going to hurt, but we'll walk through
this with you.
On one hand, they get the right hook.
That'd be a left hook, actually.
They get the left hook.
Oh, this hurts.
I'm confronted.
But the building back up.
But we're going to walk through this with
you.
How does that look?
Let me talk to you about one thing
that's an epidemic now with pornography.
I've shared with you before on my phone,
on all of our computers, everything.
We've got accountability software to where you can't
even access a porn site, and it also
will send to my wife every week every
website search I do, the searches on Google,
every website I visit, who I search for
on Facebook.
It's all sent to her in a nice
little email.
But that's part of accountability.
That's part of like, devil, you can't touch
this, because I know how you work, and
I want to put up safeguards, and I
want to have those.
So how that would look is I would
tell the guy or the woman, well, probably
my wife would counsel the women.
That's one thing we don't do.
I don't counsel the opposite sex.
We refer those out just using wisdom there
too as well, because there's relationships there that
can build that aren't healthy, and you're opening
a door to the enemy, I believe.
Now, back on track.
Offering a solution, if it's everywhere, we're actually
going to offer a class here at the
church for those caught in this or needing
help in the future.
But you would say instead of casting, instead
of just making them feel degraded and humiliated
and shameful, you'd say I'm going to walk
through this with you, and here's what it's
going to look like.
You're going to hook up this software.
It's going to be painful at times.
It's going to hurt.
We're going to hook it up to one
of the leadership at the church, and you
need this accountability.
You need this structure.
Here's what's going to happen.
Your wife is going to, it's going to
break her heart.
She's probably going to talk about divorce.
I don't want you to open your mouth.
I don't want you to say a word.
I just want you to apologize and repent,
and you shut your mouth.
You don't argue.
You don't make excuses.
You don't complain.
Here's what's going to happen.
Let me walk through it with you.
And you walk them down that road so
when it does happen, they're prepared, and they
know that the church is there for them,
not against them.
So you see the difference?
I can bring the sledgehammer and say this
is wrong.
You're destroying your family, but here's how we're
going to help you.
And I have to take care there because
take heed lest I fall.
What we talked about last week.
If we come in with the wrong attitude,
the devil says, oh, this guy's prideful.
Let me take him down.
So that's how it works.
Offer a solution.
Now, this is important, too, with the person.
You have to, number one rule, you have
to define repentance so everybody is on the
same page.
Because when I just say repentance, he might
go, yeah, that sounds good.
I'll be sorry.
Or she'll say, I'm sorry, but that's not
repentance.
Repentance is a turning, a changing, and a
repairing, and a restoring.
You want to fix the damage that you
did.
You want to restore.
You're not about, if you start to blame
shift and make excuses, your heart's not ready.
And so you need to let the person
know what genuine repentance looks like.
Listen, if you're really changing, I don't want
to hear this.
I want to see your feet and hands
moving and doing the right things.
Because everybody, I'm convinced, can talk the talk.
Say the right things at the right time.
We got the lingo down.
So we have to define what repentance looks
like.
And accountability, which I just talked about, accountability
starts the process of restoration.
You have to let them know you have
to have some form of accountability.
You have to have some form of accountability.
Here's the funny thing with accountability.
Accountability in and of itself is not the
answer.
I cannot ask a person to keep me
accountable.
God's got to keep me accountable.
And a person should not have to keep
you accountable.
But it's a very important part of the
puzzle.
Because there's accountability there.
There's transparency there.
What I just talked about the website.
What I've talked about with our board that's
over this church that looks over the financials.
They look at the, where's this money going?
How's it being spent?
It's very healthy to have accountability because it
keeps our sin nature in check.
So that's what you have to tell, you
have to let the person know that there
has to be some form of accountability.
There has to be some form of change.
And we've talked about people, let's say again
an example.
They're married.
But now they're separated.
And now this person has a girlfriend or
boyfriend.
Well, one of the steps of accountability is
you need to cut that.
Here's how this conversation goes.
You need to cut that relationship off.
Not next week.
Not next month.
Today.
If you want me to see that repentance
is genuine, you tell them to lose your
number, you cancel your cell phone, your new
cell phone, you leave it on the counter
for your spouse to see every text that
comes in, every phone call you make.
That's what genuine repentance looks like.
I'm not willing to do that.
Then you're not willing to change.
You're just full of hot air.
And then we have to approach it like
that.
Who in their right mind want to keep
plan B on the backup, back burner?
A person not yet fully repentant.
A person not yet fully repentant has plan
A, plan B, and probably plan C in
case this doesn't work out.
You know what?
I wrote this down.
I hope it helps somebody.
And as you know, the people listening on
the radio, on the internet in the weeks
to come.
But I want to speak on this issue
since we're talking about it.
I'm amazed at how many Christians seek somebody
to date soon after their separation or divorce.
I mean, if anything shocks me in the
church, it's this.
I know people, not people that go here,
don't get me wrong, but you'll see on
Facebook that I know they're separated and now
they met somebody.
What are we missing here?
Let me be crystal clear.
You do not go out and find somebody
even if you're divorced.
I think it should be at least a
year or two of healing if it's a
biblical divorce, which there's only a few things,
and we're going to talk about that in
the weeks to come.
But that should be the last thing on
your mind.
And I've talked to people.
One lady used to come a couple years
ago and she was in the separation process
wanting to get a divorce.
She goes, I can't wait until I can
start dating again.
I don't know, laugh or cry.
You want to know why?
Because her heart's not right.
You should be broken over what's happening.
So on that note, I just want to
say that because I see so many people,
okay, now we're separated, now I can start
dating.
No.
That is clearly sin in God's eyes.
The release of that takes time, a lot
of time.
And this no-fault divorce that we've embraced
in our country is destroying the families.
See, here's the thing.
Well, not you guys, but people doing this
kind of thing, and I know it's hard,
don't get me wrong.
Marriage is difficult.
Talk to my wife and ask her about
the first year of ours.
Wow.
Remember what Ruth Graham told Billy Graham?
I still love him, but I've thought about
killing him.
I might murder him.
So I know, when I talk about this
subject, I never want to minimize the pain
and the difficulty and the challenges.
Sometimes marriage is a thorn in the flesh,
is it not?
But I don't think we realize the damage
that it's done to children.
Because here's the excuse we think, oh, they're
resilient, they'll bounce back.
No, they won't.
Let me just be up front.
The majority of young adults that sometimes the
church is counseling now, most of their pain
can be traced back to the divorce.
Mommy meeting somebody new quickly, and this, it
can be traced right back.
This is an epidemic.
But we're so selfish and so self-absorbed
that we have to go get somebody.
Right?
And the truth is, the reason people want
to hurry up is they want to hurry
up for sex.
That's the majority.
That's the truth.
And the majority, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.
I've got to meet somebody.
No, that's not good.
That's not godly.
There should be a significant amount of time.
People are going, I can't believe you said
the S word here.
Well, it's healthy as God ordained it, but
that's what drives many people.
Selfishness.
You can listen to the conversation.
You can listen.
And on this note, if a person is
looking forward to meeting somebody else, now there's
nothing wrong with, you're going through a difficult
marriage, and you can't wait until this is
over, and God restores hopefully, and things like
that.
But when we're planning, we're planning something when
God might want us to pray for restoration.
It makes no sense.
So you cannot immediately, in my opinion, there's
no excuse for just immediately going out and
finding somebody.
Here's another point.
Be clear on this with them.
That healing requires time.
Healing requires time in the same way that
the physical injuries, have you ever been hurt
physically?
Have you ever tore a rotator cuff, or
your knee popped, and you've got to wear
brakes?
In the same way, spiritual injury takes time
to heal.
If reinstatement to ministry or restoration occurs too
quickly, more damage can result because of a
weakened state that is not yet strong.
What I mean by that, as many churches,
okay, somebody, there's church discipline, or there's sin
in the camp, and it's pretty big.
And the person's like, okay, can I go
back and start helping again a month later?
A month later?
Talk to me in 12 months.
One year?
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
See, we've got to feel the pain of
the sin that we caused.
If you just reinstate somebody quickly, it does
more damage than good.
Now there's forgiveness, then we can reinstate the
relationship, but serving in ministry is a whole
different capacity.
Whole different capacity.
So that area, we need to be careful
as well.
Be clear.
Tell them that healing takes time.
And it's very good to say things like,
I don't know how long.
I remember there was one gentleman here three
years ago now.
He's actually back in jail.
A couple of you will know who this
is, but most of you won't.
But soon after something horrific happened, the church
had to get involved.
Within, it seemed like, a couple months, he
was asking me when we can ordain him
as a pastor.
It's like a deer caught in the headlight.
Look, right?
Am I reading this right?
This email.
What is wrong with me?
Lord.
In a nutshell, I was cordial, nice, but
don't even bring this kind of stuff up.
Don't even talk to me about this.
That's not even on the radar.
Well, Shane, what about offering hope?
We offer hope in segments.
And say, maybe someday, if a lot of
things change, but you don't give a time
frame on it.
Because what happens is they'll do certain things
until the time frame's up.
Right?
If I tell my son, just be good
for the next 30 minutes, and then you
can do this, guess what he's going to
do for the next 30 minutes?
His heart hasn't changed, though.
So we don't put time frames on things.
Now, it's okay to say, yeah, we can
revisit this in three months or six months,
and here's what I'd like to see during
that time period.
But you want to avoid putting a time
frame on it, because then you've got to
rush to that time frame.
And here's why.
Time is needed to revisit progress, talk to
family members, and reassess the situation.
We encourage and believe the best in others,
but we also wait and we verify.
What was Ronald Reagan's famous saying?
Trust, but verify.
I think he was dealing with Russia back
then.
Yes, we trust you, but we're going to
verify.
I think Obama should have said that to
Iran as well, right?
Don't get me started.
You guys, come on.
Anyway, but if he refuses even to hear
the church, but if he refuses even to
hear the church, now think about this environment.
People have told me before, that seems a
little harsh.
Jesus seems harsh here, Shane.
Help me understand this.
Well, let's put this whole in context.
But if he refuses to hear the church,
here's the context of this.
A person goes to somebody and says, listen,
here's the offense.
They say, I don't care.
I don't want to hear it.
They come weeks, maybe later, praying about it.
They come with mature men or women, and
they address the person again.
They say, I don't want to hear it.
It's not my fault, right?
Excuses.
And then they bring more people or they
tell the church.
So this guy now is in a point
of arrogance and rebellion.
There's nothing pleasant about this.
This is arrogance and rebellion at its core,
and Jesus says you better address it.
If a person doesn't want to hear the
confrontation of one, okay, I got it.
Then they don't want to hear a couple
witnesses, leadership in the church, and then they
don't want to listen to the whole church,
and they still think they're right, that's rebellion.
That's arrogance and rebellion, if I've ever seen
arrogance or rebellion.
So that's why the next step has to
occur.
So always remember, the church doesn't create this
environment, the person does.
So when the person gets upset, you have
to remind them, I think you created this
environment, not me.
People get upset.
Did you know that?
They get upset at the church.
This message right now will upset people, probably
in the first and second service.
And you have to remind them that you
created this environment, not me.
We're just responding to the environment you created
that's occurring here.
Now what if the person doesn't listen?
We talked about earlier, I don't have to
explain this again, how the church handles it,
is you go to the group of people
who know this person, there's influence, you probably,
I'm going to talk about a few things
in a minute, but that's who the ecclesia
is, that's who the church is.
Their area of influence determines who you tell,
and you say, listen, here's this person, they're
caught in transgression, they're caught in this sin,
we need to pray for them, we need
to fast and pray, and pray that God
will work in their heart.
Because whether they admit it or not, once
you get to this process, it's pretty humiliating.
Do you think the person would be humiliated?
In a good way, right?
They can't believe they're going through this, me,
not me, I'm such and such, I'm Joe
Bible.
Well often it's Joe Bible who needs a
swift, you know what, without that brokenness and
humility that I often talk about.
Without that broken, gentle spirit, Joe Bible becomes
a Bible-thumping husband that wants to tell
his whole family off.
So we have to be careful there too.
And usually it's after many weeks of pleading
and praying and waiting on God that you
finally have to come to that point and
apply the church discipline.
So here's what has to take place.
Number one, the majority, if I'm reading the
text right, not reading into it too much,
the majority of the leadership has to agree.
I mean, if the leadership of the church
is divided and saying, listen, I think we
need to wait a little longer, I think
we need to, I talked to him last
week, he seemed, I don't think we should
do this yet, I think there's caution there,
there's wisdom in waiting.
So the church, the majority of the church
leadership should agree.
Remember the verse, assuredly I say to you,
whatever you bind on earth will be bound
in heaven.
And whatever you loose on earth will be
loosed in heaven.
You've got two or three people on the
same page.
What I believe this is, the reason God
binds what we bind is because we're following
the will of God.
We're confirming, listen, this is God's heart in
this matter, we're just announcing it, that binds
it up, that confirms it, God will honor
that.
What's bound, it's not like we have some
super power that we can just bind and
loose whatever we want.
We're pronouncing things according to God's will and
there's power in that.
That's why if there's two or three are
gathered in my name, there I am in
the midst of them.
When was the last time you grabbed somebody's
hand and said let's pray for me, pray
for my family, pray for my church, let's
pray.
And the two or three there, the mighty
hand of God is moving because you're binding
things together.
There's unity in that.
So that's what's happening here.
The leadership has to agree, there has to
be unity.
The second point, I believe it has to
be announced in a separate church gathering.
I don't think I would use a sermon
opportunity like this to go through the process
of church discipline if there were somebody.
I think there has to be an event
outside the church or after the service, say
listen, for those of you who know this
person or if you're part of this body,
we'd like you to be here.
And then we go to that.
Number three, just pertinent information is given.
This is not where you air the dirty
laundry to everybody.
Just pertinent information because we're still in protection
mode, right?
What do people need to know?
That's all we need to know or they
need to know.
Number four, lovingly challenge those attending that this
is not the time to gossip.
This is a biggie.
Because as soon as they walk out those
doors, guess what starts ringing?
Did you hear?
I can't believe it.
And that's a sure sign.
Folks, let's just do a heart check real
quick, mine included.
That's a sure sign that we're not protecting
that person.
That's a sure sign that our own heart,
if we want to air somebody's dirty laundry,
that's not a good sign.
We should want to protect them.
Protect.
Somebody should be able to go to you
and know they're not going to gossip.
And that will, you'll push a lot of
people away when they know that you're not
a gossip.
You're not going to get all the latest
little news.
Because here's the kicker, gossipers in this area
will be confronted.
If we're finding out that people are just
gossiping and hurting this family even more, then
that person will be confronted.
Trust me.
Lovingly confronted, but that we can't allow the
church, because that's still sin in the camp.
Last time I checked, God didn't like gossips
or back biters.
Or one who sows discord among the brethren.
Yay, seven things I hate, they are abomination
to the Lord.
Lying tongue.
Hands that shed innocent blood.
Feet that are swift to running to evil.
A heart that devises wicked plan.
And one who sows discord among the brethren.
A gossiper.
Discord.
That's very important.
The fifth point.
Do not forget about the victim.
See, we can get so caught up in
the person who did the sin, but we've
got a family bleeding or dying over here.
A spouse.
And I've heard of bad situations where it
could be a husband or wife in either
scenario.
Well, listen, the church isn't reaching out to
me.
I'm dying here.
My kids.
Yes, you're talking to such and such.
You're rebuking such and such.
You're having meetings about such and such.
But what about us?
The victim.
We're hurting here.
So that's when you get mills ministry involved.
You bring them mills.
You have older women go into council, if
it's a woman or men, go alongside, and
you don't forget about the victim, because that
can happen pretty easily.
They're down here when you're wanting to address
the big issue.
Number six.
Don't forget about the lost sheep.
The person.
Now, isn't this interesting?
If you look at Matthew 18, the context
of this is the lost sheep too.
Jesus says, if there's a lost sheep, wouldn't
you go out to look for the one
and leave the 99?
This person is a lost sheep.
So we can't forget about them.
We can't get upset and mad and angry.
We have to pray.
We have to fast.
And we have to contend for them.
Number seven.
This is the final one on this point.
Don't overlook your own heart.
I'll keep reading.
Matthew 18, 21.
Then Peter came to him and said, Lord,
how often shall my brother sin against me
and I forgive him?
Peter thought he was being pretty special, right?
He goes, up to seven times?
And Jesus said, no.
I do not say to you up to
seven times, but 70 times seven.
And here's why.
Partial forgiveness is not forgiveness.
Because Peter's attitude would be like most of
our attitudes.
Hey, how long do I have to keep
forgiving this guy?
Three times, four, five.
I mean, I have to keep forgiving him.
What's the deal here?
I want to stop forgiving him.
Wasn't he looking for an out?
So partial forgiveness is not.
Now, if the person's genuinely repentant, right?
We know all those people that can play
games.
He's talking here about a person who's genuinely
repentant.
We're to forgive them.
Seven times seven.
But up to 70 times seven.
Verse 23.
Therefore the king of heaven is like a
certain king who wanted to settle accounts with
his servant.
And when he had begun to settle accounts,
one of them was brought to him who
owed him 10,000 talents.
Now think about this.
10,000 talents is a huge sum of
money.
But he was not able to pay it.
So his master commanded that he be sold
with his wife and children and all that
he had and that payment be made.
The servant therefore fell down before him saying,
Master, have patience on me and I will
pay you all.
Then the master of that servant was moved
with compassion, released him and forgave him the
debt.
Now remember Jesus said, Therefore the kingdom of
heaven is like this.
So it's a parallel to gaining access into
the kingdom of heaven.
He's paralleling.
This is what the kingdom of heaven is
like.
So the man saw the severity of his
debt.
The man saw the severity of his debt.
And this parallels our own need for forgiveness.
See, if we could see the severity of
my debt that Christ bore on the cross,
my sin, he paid the biggest debt of
all.
He forgave me of my sin even while
I was a sinner, even when I was
living like hell.
Heaven was calling.
And I look at the cross.
I look at Calvary.
I look at what he did for me.
How in the world can I not forgive
somebody who did something much less?
That's the context.
And also we don't want to forget here
how our sins affect the whole family.
This man's sins, this man's debt affect his
whole family.
His wife and children were being sold into
slavery.
So fathers, especially, your sins will affect your
family.
Wake up.
This isn't just solo here.
How we act and how we live affects
everything.
It affects our family, mothers, moms.
It affects your children.
How you treat your husband.
How you treat God.
How you look to his word.
It affects everything.
There's a ripple effect.
And I don't ever want to forget that
because it'll make you think twice, won't it?
Realizing that it affects those that we love
the most.
But the servant went out and found one
of his fellow servants who owed him a
hundred denarii, which is nothing.
And he laid hands on him and took
him by the throat, saying, Pay me what
you owe me.
So his fellow servant fell down on his
feet and begged him, saying, Have patience with
me and I will pay you all.
And he would not.
But he went and threw him into the
prison till he should pay the whole debt.
So when his fellow servant saw what had
been done, they were very grieved and came
and told their master all that he had
done.
Then his master, after he called to him,
said to him, You wicked servant, I forgave
you all the debt because you begged me.
Should you not also have compassion on your
fellow servant just as I had pity on
you?
And his master was angry and delivered him
to the tortures until he should pay all
that was due him.
Now that right there is a whole sermon.
I mean, I could spend about an hour
and a half right there.
But let me just get down to the
nutshell here.
What happened?
His heart didn't really change.
This person's heart had not changed.
He was forgiven, but he was not willing
to forgive.
So my heavenly Father will also do to
you if each of you from his heart
does not forgive his brother his transgressions.
Now much debate has been going on with
this scripture.
I mean, how can God not forgive us
if we're not forgiving somebody?
Well, here's what I think is going on
here.
From his heart, when he says, if he
doesn't forgive somebody from his heart, the heart
is the gauge.
The heart is the gauge of true spirituality.
The heart gauges our relationship with Christ.
So he said, if you do not forgive.
What Jesus also said in another passage, if
you do not sell all that you have,
you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.
In another passage he said, if you do
not repent.
All of these things have to do with
the heart.
He's showing the man he has an unforgiving,
arrogant heart.
He's going after the heart.
Your heart's not changed.
God's not going to forgive you because you're
not forgiving this person.
The heart's not changed.
And here is it, I'm going to wrap
it up.
Genuine faith, genuine faith has genuine fruit.
If you want to boil this down to
something, here it is.
Genuine faith has genuine fruit.
So if the guy was really repentant and
got back on track and was in right
relationship with God, he would have forgave the
other person.
So all this was was a fruit test.
You failed.
Your heart's not right.
So God can't forgive you because your heart's
not right.
You've never truly repented and been changed.
Because had you done that, you would have
forgave your fellow person who owed you money.
Because when a person is truly converted, there
is true fruit.
Always.
Here's what the Bible says.
There's sincere and real humility when somebody's genuinely
converted.
They're not just talking.
There's selfless love.
There's true repentance.
And there's a love for God and His
word and His ways.
This is genuine fruit.
So if a person doesn't have a forgiving
heart, and I've talked to people before, they
don't have a forgiving heart.
They're mean, they're arrogant, they're unforgiving, yet they're
going to church.
I'd say you might want to do what
Paul says and examine yourself.
Do you not know yourself?
Is Jesus Christ in you?
Now, we can all struggle with unforgiveness.
But as I said before, there's a big
difference between a struggle and a lifestyle.
Sometimes we struggle, and the reason we're struggling
is because we're convicted.
Why are we convicted?
Because we're a child of God and we
know what the right thing is.
That's why we're convicted.
But a person who would just go out,
he was forgiven a debt that you can
never pay, ever.
He was just forgiven that.
And for him to go out and not
forgive a small minor debt shows that his
heart has not changed, and God cannot forgive
him because he never embraced God's forgiveness on
his end.
That's what this boils down to, the heart.
Has the heart truly changed?
I don't know everybody in this room necessarily,
but has your heart really changed?
Listen, owning a Bible doesn't make you a
Christian.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian.
What makes you a Christian?
Repenting of your sin.
Repenting.
Saying, Lord, my heart, my heart needs to
be reignited.
My heart is not right.
I'm confessing, I'm repenting.
Lord, would you change my heart?
And then I can forgive others.
So I would just encourage you, if you've
never done that tonight, you need to do
that.
You need to do business with God and
say, listen, I'm not going in the right
direction.
My heart is not right.
I repent to that Lord.
Will you save me tonight?
And that's a prayer he will answer.