...and to seek Jesus Christ with all our
hearts.
And I believe these conventions, these conferences, are
so owned of God in this time we're
living in, that I wonder if we can't
attribute it to the reason of our survival,
of no compromise, to come as part like
this and seek God.
I'm going to help him.
Thank you.
Thank you, dear Lord, for this time of
prayer, of praise, of singing, of testimony, and
of learning.
We bless Thee for all those who, this
morning, already have shared their ministry, their life,
with us.
And we ask Thee to honour them and
protect them.
Thank Thee again for dear Harold and Debbie,
and what their vision is, that with soul
conscious is born of God, and owned of
God, and honoured by God.
Protect them very specially, in the most wonderful
way, from all the powers of darkness.
And continue to mightily use this advance, these
separated times of seeking God, that Thou so
already honoured, Lord, O Lord, could it not
be the beginning of what America is waiting
for?
We God's people of all denominations, as God's
people, are wanting God at any cost.
O God, do come to America.
Do put the devil to shame in this
land.
That it will be a shameful thing to
do his things, as this nation seeks God
again.
O do it.
Bless us in this time, in Thy mercy,
in Jesus Christ's name.
We ask these things.
Amen.
A number of years ago, on the streets
of Johannesburg, in South Africa, I, as a
young teenage boy, opened my life to evil,
to sin.
I went against my God-given conscience, and
opened my life to that which I knew
was wrong.
My father, when I was thirteen years old,
left our hometown of Durban, a beautiful town,
and took us to Johannesburg, the largest city
in South Africa.
And we moved there because my father wanted
a higher position and more money, a better
salary, better living conditions.
And I lost, at that moment of my
life, the protection of my childhood friends.
I would never have regarded them as protection,
unless I, later on in life, had to
look back and wonder, Where did I go
wrong?
Why did I go wrong?
I suddenly found myself, for the first time
that I ever knew in life, without one
friend.
And I had to look, now, for new
friends.
The others had, as little boys, just grown
up with me.
Now, I was looking for a whole new
group of friends.
And what shocked me was everyone I turned
to, without exception.
As I turned, things were held out to
me that I never dreamed humans were capable
of doing.
I was so shaken, I literally turned and
ran from some people.
Things I didn't know humans were capable of
doing.
If I had heard of some of these
things, I never dreamed they would be held
out to me.
With such force, everywhere I turned.
And I was walking around bewildered after a
few months in that city of Johannesburg, bewildered.
But I had a God-given conscience.
God is in His integrity toward every single
man on this earth.
Even to children who have never heard the
gospel, who have never seen a Bible or
a church.
God in His integrity and goodness gave every
single one of us a conscience to protect
us.
To protect us from ever touching, or tasting,
or handling things that could destroy our lives.
Things that if you go against your conscience
just once, just once, even if you're a
young boy or girl, you will suffer the
repercussions until the day you die.
I remember a friend I finally made, befriended
him.
And one day he turned to me and
held out this drug.
And he told me of the sensation he
went through physically, mentally, emotionally under the influence
of this drug.
And he, what shocked me was the way
he held it out to me.
There was something in the way he held
out that didn't seem to hesitate to think
that I could say no.
And once again something in me cried out,
no, touch not, taste not, handle not.
I didn't know that verse was in the
Bible.
There are things your conscience, you don't need
lectures on morality, on drugs, you know.
God gave you a conscience.
I said to him, we don't need that
to enjoy life.
That could destroy our lives.
Look at what happened to her.
There was this young girl who I knew
he knew and I knew, who was lying
in a terrible state through that drug.
I said, that'll happen to us.
It'll happen to us.
Why take something like that if that could
happen to us?
And he started to laugh.
A young teenage boy.
And he said, Keith, I'm not a fool.
Only a fool would become a drug addict.
Not everybody that takes drugs becomes addicted.
Not everybody that takes alcohol becomes an alcoholic.
I watched your father, Keith.
He drinks alcohol.
It's exactly the same.
It's this generation.
Drink.
There's no different reason.
It's just a legalized drug, alcohol.
There's no other reason, no difference.
It's that generation's drugs.
Your father takes it.
Drink.
But he's not an alcoholic.
Only a fool would become an alcoholic.
I'm not a fool.
What he was trying to say in his
limited understanding in his childhood way was what
the older people would say, moderation.
Anything's fine.
They'll point to scriptures.
Moderation.
Well, a few months later his mother phoned
me and she was weeping on the phone,
a goodly woman.
She said, Keith, did you know my boy's
taking drugs?
And I said, yes, I do know.
Oh, why didn't you tell me?
Do you know what type of drugs he's
taking, Keith?
Why didn't you warn me?
She found him in the garage behind the
house.
What he did to himself physically under the
influence of the drug, I cannot tell you
from the pulpit of God.
Your mind wouldn't be able to accept it.
He was taken to hospital.
They somehow got him through.
He survived somehow.
He was put into a drug addict's home.
And he was there a long, long time.
I want to jump now years and years
later to when I was saved.
Years after that moment.
Years when I went and sought him out
to tell him about God.
There he was, married.
A man now, his own children.
And do you know that after all those
years of not touching that drug once again,
he was still suffering the concussions of going
against your God-given conscience.
I medically, psychologically, cannot tell you how things
work out of a man's system.
I have no answers there how long it
takes and to what degree he went.
But I've learned something.
You suffer till the day you die.
If you go against your conscience, not only
drugs, morally.
There's a moral code.
Your conscience crosses it and you suffer till
the day you die.
Anything.
Don't pinpoint some destructive thing and say that's
it, that I'm talking about.
No.
I wish I could stand here today and
tell you I never went against my God
-given conscience.
Oh, God that I could say that.
I would do anything.
But I did go against my conscience.
I thought back numbers of times, why?
What made me?
What made me touch what I knew?
My whole system cried, I don't dare touch.
What made me do that?
You know, the only honest explanation I have
to my own heart is that it was
in one weak moment in a crowd where
I just suddenly as a child feared that
I was going to be left out of
this crowd.
And that's the only reason.
There was nothing wicked in me.
There was nothing of a rebelliousness in me
to rebel against society, to rebel against decency.
The only reason I can honestly think that
I touched that first time was a fear
that suddenly in one weak moment in an
atmosphere I didn't even know how I'd gotten
to that atmosphere.
And for fear of being left out of
this crowd, of losing this crowd, I reached
out and I did something that my whole
system cried out, you dare not, don't, when
I did it.
I touched.
And then the greatest shock that ever happened
to me in my entire life from the
day I was born to this day, happened
right then.
I suddenly found something in me I'd never
known before.
I had to touch again.
It was not now because of fear of
being left out of the crowd.
This shook me.
It was not now an atmosphere I was
caught in.
There was no reason.
I found myself being drawn to touch and
I couldn't understand this.
Everything in me was so confused.
There was a wall going on in me
that I'd never known before.
But I went back.
I suddenly became conscious that I was a
servant of sin.
Now I would never ever have identified, understood,
or agreed with the Lord Jesus' words of
a man being a servant of sin.
I wouldn't have understood until that moment of
my life.
I could never have understood those words.
But now I became conscious though I didn't
even know that was in the Bible, that
I was enslaved.
There was something now that had taken a
hold of me, making me do something I
didn't want to do each time but drew
me to it.
The Lord Jesus, God in His holiness, has
put words in this Bible sometimes that we
can hardly dare read from the pulpit of
God for fear of offense.
But to show His horror at what a
servant of sin is going against your conscience
to the degree that you're enslaved to something
that you can't, you don't want to do
but you go back no matter what it's
going to do, no matter what it's going
to cost.
You fight but you go back.
God says in His horror of seeing a
man become this as a dog returneth to
its vomit so a fool returns to his
folly.
God uses those words.
The horror you and I feel as we
look at this that we can hardly speak
about without being repulsed, hardly think about is
the horror God says He looks at a
man who does this, a dog going to
that which his body is repulsed, which his
system rejected, it's bad for him.
He goes and he licks it up again,
he takes it back and you and I
can't look at that without repulsiveness.
Horror!
God says as a dog returns to its
vomit so a fool returns to his folly.
The horror that takes hold of God the
repulse that's in God's sight towards what a
man is doing when he goes back to
that which is going to destroy him, to
that which he knows is going to destroy
him.
Don't you believe a man wants to be
destroyed through sin?
No man wants that.
Don't you tell me he chose that.
Don't tell me a man wants to come
home and reeking with drink, now it's uncontrollable
because he touched and see his children despise
him, his wife hating him, see his marriage
being destroyed, losing the things he treasures most
in life.
Don't tell me a man wants to come
home and his wife knows where he's been
in unfaithfulness and he wants to lose those
treasures of children as he sees hatred starting
to come in their eyes, contempt, as he
sees himself losing the things he treasures most
in life.
Don't tell me he wants it.
It's a horrific thing for God to even
look when a man went against his conscience
and now he's enslaved.
Don't tell me a man wants to lose
his honour, his health, his family, his work.
How many hundreds of thousands, even their work,
they lose through their sin.
Don't tell me a man wants to become
destroyed.
Oh, a servant of sin is so obnoxious
when you finally look at what it's done,
what it's done going against your conscience, even
a boy.
I remember the fears that gripped my heart
the first time Daddy came when I was
in deep trouble.
My father was such a good man that
there is no words that I could ever
find fitting to tell you of how good
my father was as an unsaved man.
When my father walked in that room when
he had been called after I had been
in terrible trouble that first time when he
looked at me every man in that room
fled weeping when they looked at the man
that walked through that door and his face
when he looked at his son.
I looked at the shame on my father's
face and he said, why?
Oh, how many times I heard Daddy say
those words to me but that first time
I can't tell you what happened in my
mind when I looked at my father that
I loved and he looked at me with
such shame and said, why?
I didn't know why but I know there's
everything in my being cried out, I will
never do this to him again I will
never do this to my father again and
I meant it but do you know days
later I was back doing worse things do
you know the horror of being a servant
of sin when the things, the people you
love more than breath you destroy because you
can't stop all the complexes the fears, the
lying awake in the nights the pain that
started coming and I didn't know why the
worry as I saw Daddy starting to drink
and I knew it was me the darling
of his life he couldn't help, so he
turned to drink and I came home in
the nights some nights late and he stood
there looking and I wondered, oh, have they
got hold of him, have they told him
does he know what I've been doing and
I cowered, I couldn't look him in the
eyes anymore and he'd say, boy, why can't
you look me in the eyes how can
you come home to Daddy at this time
of the night there was this young
fellow called Desmond I don't remember his surname,
it was so many years ago he had
this big thick black hair, you know, the
days of blow cream I don't know if
you were ever around then and there he
was I never knew anyone more uninhibited than
him it was fearful to be in his
presence though he was a teenager you didn't
know what this fellow was capable of I
don't even know what I was doing with
him that day but there we were, he
was up to wickedness and he stood and
he looked at me and he shouted I'll
never forget the way he shouted he didn't
care who was listening in shock of what
we were doing he shouted unashamedly, isn't it
wonderful to be so wild to be so
free and something in me cried out at
that moment no, no, it's not wonderful I'm
not free I wouldn't be here with you,
oh no, I didn't say those words to
him but my heart cried out at him,
with him I don't know what I'm doing
here with you I don't know why I
am here I don't want to be here
I'm not free my confused mind just crying
out it's not wonderful where I'm at and
there was the moment I went away from
the crowd one day you know with the
crowd you're so different had you told anyone
of the crowd I was with that I
was in the state I'm in no one
would have believed you I laughed the loudest
but one day I got away from the
crowd and I got in this cold, dark,
empty building in Johannesburg and I stood there,
a young teenager and I began to cry
and I remember for a few hours standing
there sobbing until I don't know how I
found another sob that would come from my
being my whole head became numb from all
the sobbing and for the hours I stood
there in the cold sobbing at the consciousness
of my helplessness the consciousness of my helplessness
against these things one day I heard of
a friend a close friend who killed himself
good looking fellow the girls loved him he
was so popular but he did a terrible
thing and I'll never forget the shock it
took hold of me I'd heard of other
people who I knew had killed themselves we
sat with this young girl with blonde hair
she looked like an angel she was so
beautiful and she was laughing that's what I
will always remember for eternity she was laughing
no one knew the state she was in
the next thing she did was get to
the top of the building and throw herself
off I couldn't grasp what was going on
how can someone laugh?
don't go by what you see outwardly, friend,
in this world the one laughing the loudest
pray for them if they're in sin I
had been shocked but not like when I
heard of this young fellow that shook me
that I went into absolute fear because when
I heard of what he did I identified
I'd never done that before I identified I
understood how someone who hadn't had much of
life could want to end it who couldn't
face another day of it didn't want another
day of it I understood why and that
filled me with fear I remember standing at
a church you find this hard to believe
an evangelical church I didn't even know it
at that time all I knew is they
said things that I found out later were
called testimonies in this youth meeting I used
to change churches as I changed girlfriends but
this particular youth group they had these little
stories and things and we all walked out
and this little group that I was started
mocking and blaspheming and about the things that
had been said in there there was this
incredible undermining and we were standing outside of
this church and I remember laughing but suddenly
as I stood there laughing outside of that
youth meeting something died I remember something that
never happened in my life happening that night
something just died in me it was so
horrific that I just turned while they were
still laughing I stopped laughing I just turned
and I walked into the dock and I
got in the main street and I got
into the center of the road and I
just walked and my mind was in a
state I could never put into words of
self-aberration and I felt the gush of
the wind of the lorries and the buses
as they missed me by inches just swerving
hooting the cars my eyes were like a
blur with all the lights and something in
me just cried out but then God stopped
me now I know it was God I
didn't that night but I know now God
couldn't let me die you see he hadn't
presented to me in a way my darkened
mind could grasp the gospel what he wanted
of me what he could do no matter
how destroyed you are and he wanted to
do that and God sent I believe with
all my heart one fellow followed me from
that youth group looked at what was happening
and he ran screaming and pulled me off
the road a split second before this lorry
would have crushed me to my death oh
there were repercussions from that that I don't
want to go in the fears that filled
Mommy and Daddy's heart Daddy had worked himself
to the top of his profession in his
country in our country and because of his
influence his position he got me work that
nobody deserved my age or the amount of
money that was offered to me double salary
if I just get a pass let alone
any little courses they would send me on
promising me positions that's your position to a
person who deserved nothing because all these unsaved
businessmen good, good men saw my father destroyed
and made through what was happening in my
life and their love for Daddy made them
try and take hold of me everyone trying
to do something to put purpose in this
young destroyed life oh but it didn't work
did a while after all this I just
remember walking away to the streets of Johannesburg
just walking those streets day after day week
after week month after month how I stayed
alive I don't know doing things with low
people low, low things things I'm too scared
to think about let alone speak about I
have preached in many, many pulpits across my
country and other countries and I've heard people
testifying normally a shocking testimony some more shocking
than mine and I've trembled as I've seen
people explaining their sin talking about it some
with smiles some laughing and I've said God
I'm so ashamed I don't name any of
the sins I'm too ashamed to think of
them let alone tell you or explain to
you I talk about the repercussions of sin
the consequences I'm too ashamed to name my
sins to you too ashamed I don't know
how they do oh I did things I'm
too scared to think about let alone speak
about from the pulpit of God and defile
you with some testimony don't let me do
that God and then Jesus Christ
came this holy perfect
Savior God Father Friend
He came to me in my truth He
came to me I wasn't seeking Him He
sought me none of us in my home
were seeking God I wish we had been
I wish I could say we were seeking
God no He sought us He's so full
of love He came through my brother that's
how He came the first one in my
home Dudley three years older than me so
different from me He's like Daddy I wish
I could say I was like my father
but Dudley was not me he was just
in his early twenties just barely in his
twenties he had his own business businesses everything
he touched just turned to gold like Daddy
just had something he was the sovereign champion
of his sport he had a sports club
represented his country even in the years where
we weren't allowed to be represented because of
our apartheid he was so good they just
couldn't exclude him everybody's idea of a successful
young man but he wasn't if God hadn't
come then Dudley would have been totally destroyed
I know that now having heard his testimony
God came to my brother God used the
girl He does things like that you know
my brother wouldn't have heard the gospel believe
me but he fell in love with a
girl they were so beautiful he couldn't help
himself she was really utterly beautiful as a
person well the difference about this girl was
she belonged to a home that wasn't just
Christians who talked of being born again she
came from a home who were the pillars
of God's people in their whole community loved,
revered by so many across our land as
the godliest of the godly in the church
of Christ throughout our land oh God brought
my brother into this home and they panicked
when they saw this smoking drinking, full of
themselves fellow you know and their daughter was
in love with him so in love that
something was suddenly found out she wasn't saved
she was a Sunday school teacher in an
evangelical church she could tell you how to
get saved but she wasn't saved it was
all up here it hadn't gone down here
and they suddenly saw that she went through
love into the world with this man she
loved oh they tried to get Dudley to
come to church but he told them the
first time don't ever ever expect it of
me I will never ever be religious I
respect you I will never ever come to
your church don't ever ask me again I
will never become religious he told them straight
well they aren't the sort of people that
put you against the wall and preach hellfire
so they didn't but we must do they
got on their knees and they got others
on their knees the godly of the godly
across our land started praying for this man
who'd come into this godly home and taken
his girl into the world now who they
thought was saved and there were prayers going
up oh then the godliest man I've ever
known in my life Will Macfarlane he returned
to our country his homeland in his old
age to the mission he had started with
which I serve God in now and they
took him in his old age to the
old Presbyterian church up in Boxburg outside of
Johannesburg which is the home church of this
Anne's mother and father and there was this
week of meetings where the other churches all
took part too different ministers leading each night
and God broke through in a way that
he hadn't broke through for over thirty years
the last time this man had stood in
that pulpit God had come to Boxburg and
never since then again God came and they
were coming soul seeking God Christians breaking weeping
aloud under this holy man of God's ministry
and they came to Dudley and said Dudley
you've told us you'll never come to church
but this man's different something's happening here Dudley
we don't want you to miss please we'll
never ask you again just come this once
and if you don't like him we'll never
ask you again but don't miss what's happening
please Dudley thought to himself I want to
marry their daughter I better show them I'm
not as wicked as they think I am
so he went along to church imagine going
to church for that reason oh seeking after
God amazing how God gets people to church
there he was determined to switch off to
all this fanaticism determined to take no word
but you cannot switch off when God has
an appointed time you have the right to
say yes or no if I didn't believe
that I'd get out of the pulpit now
but you cannot switch off when God wants
to tell you what he wants of you
and all the powers of hell are simply
pushed aside and God brings you to one
of the greatest men of God that ever
lived as Dudley suddenly was sitting under his
ministry oh the devil must have tried to
keep my brother away but even Satan couldn't
when God said I want this boy to
hear it he heard for the first time
in his life a man speaking of heaven
and hell a man weeping as he spoke
of hell the only time he'd ever heard
in his life the word hell was in
blasphemous jokes but here a man in the
pulpit of God he had never heard a
man in his life in the pulpit of
God use the word hell this man believed
it here this man was weeping over it
the man preaching heaven the joy the living
the beauty the glory of heaven and the
only way to escape hell and gain heaven
is through the cross of Christ come say
to God nothing in my hands I bring
simply through the cross I cling that's all
God waits for until he sees you do
that he cannot save you but if he
sees you do that you will be saved
from hell to heaven and you know you're
saved come if you know God brought you
here you know it isn't a man speaking
it's a voice that only God and no
human voice ever penetrated come if God's calling
you come Dudley got up and he walked
out stunned like a drunk man tripping falling
weeping he got out Anne looked at him
began to weep as she saw the state
of him what is wrong Dudley Anne God
spoke to me God has never spoken to
me in my life God spoke to me
when that man said if God's spoken to
you you come out I should have gone
out Anne amazing you know God spoke to
you Anne looked at Dudley and said Dudley
it's not too late go back in and
for some reason that night my brother was
the only one for the first time in
his life he pushed against the crowd weeping
fell on his knees this godly man put
his arm around him and cried out to
God with him to save this boy's soul
and God saved his soul oh I was
in Durban I don't know to this day
how I even got there all I do
know is my uncles found me in the
street ran up to me shook me wailing
not weeping your mother and father don't know
if you are dead or alive prove yourself
a man for God's sake you go home
to them do you know what you do
I said alright I'll go home again he
put me on a train they didn't tell
my parents I was coming home for fear
I wouldn't make it I climbed the lift
out to my mother's firm they couldn't find
her so they called on the intercoms I
said don't you say who it is please
I just stood there and waited eventually this
little lady came down the passage and I
shook she had turned snow white she'd been
so beautiful her face was just wrinkles and
her eyes swollen she was spinning like a
little battered bird and I said oh God
I've done this to my mother look what
I've done to my mother and I shook
I trembled and I wept she
said to me Keith something's happened to your
brother she couldn't say he's born again say
something's happened to your brother he said if
we ever find you we must just get
you to him please come with me now
before you go again thank me mummy we
went to daddy first he saw me and
he ran and he fell oh and they
all lifted him up and I I said
daddy you'd never take me home if you
hear of the things I've done I want
to tell you that now and he said
my boy I don't care what I hear
about you I forgive you now because you
came back to daddy oh a father's a
wonderful thing and
then I went to Dudley and we hadn't
got on much Dudley and I he blamed
me for daddy's drinking forgive me and we
got to his firm and he ran we
could hardly sit at the table together without
fighting Dudley and I daddy didn't quite know
what to do with the two of us
but when I saw my brother's eyes I
knew something's happened to my brother he looked
at me with love he put his arms
around me he said mummy oh you must
please forgive me and he said Keith all
you need is Jesus all you need is
to become a Christian I've become a Christian
Keith all you need you need nothing else
but Christ you need to become a Christian
I said but what that brother in South
Africa I am a Christian we're all Christians
in this country we're born Christians what are
you talking about he said we're not Christians
you we never knew Keith somehow I don't
know how it's possible we never heard the
truth but I want to tell you the
truth Keith come off the streets where mummy
and daddy stay come off the streets come
work with me I know God's going to
do for you what he's done for me
oh as I watched this life a thirst
came in me I can understand the thirst
in Naomi and Ruth you know those words
thy God shall be my God just looking
at her life that's all made this woman
say thy God shall be I was crying
I'm dying God shall be my God thy
people shall be my people these people who
didn't need dirt and food to laugh and
they laughed more sincerely and heartily than anybody
I'd ever heard in my life I wanted
these people to be my people oh he
took me along to his church the one
night I didn't listen so much to the
message it was a good message on the
cross but I knew before I walked in
that church I'm coming to God tonight to
my brother's life afterwards I waited for the
appeal but the minister didn't make an appeal
and that shook me because I heard there's
going to be an appeal so I went
to the door and I said to him
they introduced me to him I said sir
I came here I came here to let
God do for me what he did to
Dudley please help me he said my boy
I I won't pray with you unless
you count the cost it's going to cost
you to be saved my boy where I
come from in Scotland he said it costs
this thing of all grace it's free you
know it's not true there's that aspect but
it costs you more than anything it will
cost you in life in this world to
be saved it's going to cost you your
sin all your sin you don't come for
forgiveness you come for deliverance then you come
to Jesus to be forgiven and what are
you letting him deliver you from it's going
to cost you every friend you've got on
earth Keith I guarantee you that written across
your life my God that every human on
earth that comes near you will see written
across your life clearly will be these words
finished with the world by the way you
dress by the way you
speak not now by the company you keep
from this day to the day you die
will be written across your life finished with
the world by the places you go finished
with the world unless you're willing for that
you're wasting your time you're wasting my time
you're wasting God's time go count the cost
in my home while I say goodbye to
these people I went to his home I
waited there were a group of people in
the room with us that night and we
sat in silence and I thought it's no
cost for me I don't care if I
lose every friend I've got and light up
God could just do this for me he
didn't ask me when he came in if
you counted the cost he said get on
your knees he opened the book he read
a few the prodigal son and I remember
daddy falling and daddy saying I forgive you
that you've just come back I said is
that how God is?
and he said pray I prayed all the
wrong things I'm sure I stuttered I stammered
I sweated I never prayed with other people
but God does not look at the words
that proceed out of the mouth He looks
at the heart from which they come and
God saw this heart truly believing in the
blood of Christ for forgiveness that is in
power of Christ for deliverance and I came
in repentance for God to deliver me from
what I was repenting from and I stood
up I didn't feel a thing and I
thought I should feel different I thought that's
strange I don't feel any different and I
was quite shaken I feel the same and
he seemed to understand and read my thoughts
this little minister this Scottish man who died
just after that God just kept him for
me to give me a foundation that I
had to have to survive he said Keith
it doesn't matter if you don't feel anything
I looked at him how does this man
read my mind?
doesn't matter if you don't feel another feeling
for the day you die boy don't go
by feelings and he put the old King
James book in my hand this is all
that matters now soak yourself in the Bible
this is your source of survival the devil's
greatest priority till the day you die from
this devil to keep you from this book
but if you make sure you never enter
into a day in your life again without
soaking yourself unhurried time with God and his
presence in this book you will never go
back to sin you will never go back
to the world Keith I guarantee you this
is your source of survival go home now
start now I went home it was about
11 o'clock in the night I opened
he said started John read John now you
need to read that as a safe person
look what God does keep a pen beside
you every verse that God speaks and holds
out and says this is you this is
yours so me mark it don't use it
for the dates for the time and I
had the pen and I opened oh forgive
me and I started reading get through John
he says then Matthew to Revelation get the
New Testament three times then start in the
Old and the New three of the Old
three of the New never less often more
every day of your life but never neglect
the New for the Old so I read
through I started I put all in the
beginning was the Word the Word is with
God the Word was God the same was
in the beginning with God all things are
made by him without him was I read
I read and I thought to myself I've
never understood this all these and those you
know but I thought I better read so
I read and I read and I read
and then I show tears and I stand
and I read it wasn't the these and
the those it was me the natural man
can't receive the things of God but when
the Holy Spirit is in you the letter
killed the spirit given life suddenly this book
was alive it wasn't condemning me it was
like it was like God speaking confirming to
me I'm his child it was just a
cry out everything just to me saying I'm
you're mine that was to me the witness
of the Spirit through the word of God
speaking to me I knew I knew God
was saying to me and I knew it
wasn't me taking a chance I knew I
was born of God oh I went to
work the next day tea time came I
didn't want to speak I just went with
the word of God more do you know
what happened that night that first night I
looked up the sun was shining I read
the whole night I hadn't slept I had
to go to work I didn't feel tired
got to work tea time came I just
fled few more chapters lunch time few more
chapters thirty years later nothing kept me from
the word of God no one no one
kept me from the word of God I
didn't realize it the holy book says newborn
babes desire to see a milk of the
word that ye may grow thereby I was
growing I was growing man shall not live
by bread alone but by every word that
proceeds out of the mouth of God you
can't stay alive without it somebody said how
do I know I'm saved I said can
you live without the word of God one
day and you're not saved or something is
radically wrong you have to read it to
survive it's breath and you're saved you can't
live by bread alone by food you'll die
without it you cannot live without the word
of God spiritually when you're born of God
and the moment you're born as newborn babes
you've got to desire the sincere milk of
the word that ye may grow thereby oh
wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way
by taking heed according to thy word thy
word have I hid within mine heart oh
God that I might not sin against thee
oh sanctify them through thy truth thy word
is truth there's a separation my priorities my
every value in life was changing things I
valued suddenly had no value through the word
as I soaked myself in the word of
God my greatest love in life what
could be more beautiful than God speaking oh
I've gone over my time haven't I way
over my time haven't I good I'm going
on then brother Harold I won't
take advantage of you and your graciousness can
I tell you this much daddy took one
look at us at Dudley and I daddy
was an alcoholic then drank through the day
went to work into his office just closed
the door took out the bottle came home
grabbed the bottle mommy was going through a
divorce she couldn't take any more and as
she went to the lawyers Dudley was saved
God came just in time and mommy looked
at Dudley and stopped the divorce procedures she
had hope just looking at the life something's
happening here oh daddy looked one night he
looked long and he went into his room
and I don't know how many hours he
was there but I don't even know what
he said to God but I know he
came out of that room and he smashed
the bottles with such anger he said I'll
never allow drink in the home again mommy
couldn't even bring what was it something about
baking cakes you have to she says to
bake my fruit cakes daddy said no not
in this house never again he threw down
a cigarette 60 cigarettes a day for over
20 years he never touched another one he
didn't go through withdrawal stages that was the
wonder of it something of a wonder of
God when a man really desperately looks to
a God he knows can save through what
he's seen in his son's lives oh he
picked up the book and he read it
for nine years he lived 68 times he
read through this book from cover to cover
I have that Bible he walked with God
mommy mommy was something unique she looked at
us and she said Keith I know you're
trying to tell me I'm a sinner don't
think I don't know the people you bring
in this house aren't all trying to just
tell me I'm a sinner don't think I
don't hear when I'm taking you to these
meetings that it's just crying out I'm a
sinner going to hell but I'm not I'm
not going to hell Keith I'm not a
sinner you I can understand why God would
send you to hell your father your brothers
but God cannot send Keith listen I have
never in my life sworn a dirty word
go to your father he was my childhood
sweetheart go to my brothers sisters I have
never listened to a dirty joke ask them
for my night a child of this day
I woke away before it ended I don't
listen I have never tasted alcohol I don't
know what champagne tastes like I've never smoked
cigarettes I can't do what your father did
and stole away my cigarettes smash the bottles
I can't do that I can't stop swearing
I don't do these things men tried to
get me Keith I never thought I'd look
you in the eyes and tell you he
was my son men tried but I never
let a man near me I never let
a man near me no matter what your
father did to me you went astray boy
but I want you right now to point
me and tell me one thing in my
life that caused it and then I'll repent
from it what do I throw away I
don't read dirty books I don't read dirty
magazines I've got nothing to throw out what
do I repent from in a confusion of
what we were trying to tell her I
didn't know what to say to her but
I stood there and I marveled at her
life for those minutes I just looked at
her and marveled at her life one day
two godly people coming into our home like
Colin Peckham and Mary Peckham Eileen Tauti Will
McFarlane oh God sent the godliest to our
home to give us the highest standard there
is where there's still liberty and not bondage
oh through these people she heard things this
is Daniel 1 John shares chapter 1 if
we say we have no sin we deceive
ourselves the truth is not in us if
we confess ourselves not just for the rest
of our lives one mighty encounter with God
to be forgiven of a life of sin
he's faithful just to forgive us our sins
to cleanse us from all unrighteousness if we
say we have not sinned we make him
a liar the truth is not in us
we call in God a liar for God
has said all have sinned there is none
righteous no not one all we like sheep
have gone astray we've turned everyone to his
own way the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of his soul it's like saying
Jesus had to die for everyone else on
earth but not me that's your greatest sin
this is Daniel that's an awful sin all
your righteousness becomes as filth filthy rags in
my sight God says if it keeps you
from realizing you're a sinner you can't be
saved unless you know you're going to hell
you can't be saved unless you come to
God to be saved from hell from the
consequences of sin and the judgment of sin
I don't know what God convicted my mother
of God says all liars shall have their
part in the lake that burns to us
some sins are big some small to God
the same sin as a liar is in
the same sentence as a murderer to God
it's the same thing it nailed Christ to
the cross you nailed Jesus to the cross
until you've come nothing nothing nothing that I
haven't done like the Pharisee I thank God
I'm not as other men are that's why
I went to hell that's why the only
man that bowed his head and said I
am forgive me I a sinner he was
justified not a religious good man who never
did the evil things and couldn't put himself
into the category of a sinner oh I
don't know how God convicted my mother but
I remember one night she came out in
a meeting she became quiet for days and
days we watched her she came out we
don't know what she said to that person
she prayed with I never saw my mother
smash bottles of drink I never saw my
mother transform and become a new creature in
Christ I never saw that but I tell
you this much I saw I saw a
woman for the first time in my life
who had peace in her eyes who had
joy that she'd never once had in her
life God's joy who had an unashamed testimony
of God's grace she testified to the world
of what God did to her sons unashamedly
and in her own gracious way of what
God did to her and I also saw
another thing she picked up this book and
loves it more than anything in life our
home became a beautiful home their marriage a
beautiful marriage my brother and I left the
businesses eventually went into our training became preachers
and he preaches and it led many many
many multitudes of people to Jesus I stayed
in the mission God put us in right
at the start and I preach and I
thank God for the years he's helped me
to stay faithful I sense God's presence in
the pulpit more than any quiet time I
love to stand in the pulpit of God
because God stands with me and I don't
know why but I love him for it
I would die the day he took away
from me the privilege to preach I would
be totally worthless for there's nothing else I
long to do but to see men seek
God love him find him and know without
any doubt as I see them seeking him
that what he did for me he'll do
for them thirty years later I'm married to
a godly holy woman next to the Lord
Jesus Christ she's the most precious gift God
ever gave me God gave us three children
the two eldest love God walk with God
our little baby, seven years old he's not
saved yet but he's coming he's our joy
well imagine if my brother had walked out
of that building and not come back in
I would be dead don't doubt that Daddy
and Mommy would be divorced die of a
broken heart Dudley would be a drunk don't
doubt that imagine if God brought you here
and he isn't thinking only of you he's
thinking of all those who he needs to
reach through you through your life when you
go home imagine if you make a choice
and say no even if you know God
himself is speaking to you it must be
something to stand up in a meeting like
this and say I'm unsaved with all these
saved godly people but imagine if you said
no and God never ever spoke to you
again as he's speaking to you now will
you bow your heads please if there's anyone
in this building who knows that they're not
born of God and God's speaking to them
when no man's voice ever penetrated I know
it's a Christian campaign but something in my
heart says I must make this appeal even
if you say no at least I made
it if you need Jesus and you're the
link that God has to reach homes that
are broken or breaking or about to be
destroyed and lives that are about to die
even who may be laughing in your company
and you may be shocked when you see
the next thing they do if you're the
one God's looking at and God brought you
and you know it's not man you know
you have no argument it's not emotionalism it's
God and his mercy if you need to
give your life to Jesus and let him
start in your home in your circumstances something
he'll never stop once he's begun I want
you to let God do that if that's
why he brought you no matter who you
are I want you to have the courage
to stand up while all hates are bowed
you just stand, please and say it's me
it's me I need prayer will you do
that?
it's gonna cost you come come, I know
a battle's going I know the bulk of
you are saved there's no doubt will you
come?
will you just stand swiftly?
thank you just remain standing, please I
ask just once more there's only one standing
we need not look around to see it
but if it was that one then it
was worth it and God knows why the
rest of you had to hear this testimony
because I seldom give it I seldom give
it it cost me too much to give
you stand?
thank you, I knew yes I'm not going
to embarrass you the two that are standing
would you please make your way to the
door at the back no one's going to
look please do this Debbie, would you organize
two godly women to pray with him downstairs
or somewhere where they can go and be
quiet, please without any disturbance from us you
just stand outside and Debbie will be with
you thank you for the time you gave
me I have no doubt God wanted me
to give this testimony and I thank you
for your graciousness in allowing me to share
these things because I know it's not easy
to hear such a thing will you pray
for me that God keeps me to the
end faithful, true and never ever entering a
day without loving the word of God more
than life itself because then I will be
safe will you please remember that to pray
that for my boys and my darling wife
who lets me go so many times to
preach and perhaps I was thinking this as
I was preparing this testimony this morning perhaps
Lord knowing how many are saved here they
need to hear this in case their sons
their daughters their husbands perhaps they're losing heart
and they need to know there's no one
God won't reach if you pray even for
the young man that's coming in your daughter's
life he'll come to God but let your
life be the thing that makes everyone in
your home and out of it that you're
praying for say thy God shall be my
God just because of your life can we
all stand please and our brother will take
over