Well, let's continue our study on God's dwelling
place.
We have looked at the foundation of this
building, which is the perfect love of God
for us.
And we've seen the first story of the
first floor, which is a clean heart, a
clean channel for God to be able to
pour and send forth His living waters through.
And now we want to go to the
second story, or second floor, and that is
a godly home.
We read in 1 Timothy, in chapter 3,
concerning the qualifications of an elder.
In the first verse it says it's a
wonderful thing to be willing to take the
responsibility of an elder.
It's a very fine work.
A lot of people desire to be elders
for the sake of honor, position, title.
But here it's speaking about the responsibility as
a work to be done.
And among the qualifications, number one, he must
be above reproach, the husband of one wife.
Which means that in those days, as there
are today in heathen lands especially, those who
have two wives.
And we have had situations in India where
man has two wives, they are heathen of
course, and then all three are converted.
Husband and both the wives.
Well, they are believers, they can be part
of the church, he must live with just
one of them.
But he cannot be an elder in a
church because his home situation is not a
good testimony.
So, these are, that's the husband-wife relationship
comes right at the top in responsibility when
it comes to being an elder.
A man who is divorced, separated from his
wife and married another, he's got two wives.
One the first one who is somewhere else
and one the second one he is living
with.
He cannot be an elder.
If only these standards were maintained, think what
purity there would have been in the Christian
testimony around the earth.
But the standards of God's word have been
lowered till they are hardly distinguishable from the
standards of the world.
Now this is not one of the optional
things, it's right put right at the top.
Number one thing, the husband of one wife.
And then verse 4 it says, he must
be one who manages his own household well.
Keeping his children under control with all dignity.
This of course refers to the time when
a man's children are at home.
That his children listen to him.
That means that he is the head of
his house.
Because it says here, if a man does
not know, verse 5, how to manage his
own family or household, how in the world
will he take care of the church of
God?
You see the church of God is God's
family.
And the logic here is very simple.
If a man cannot take care of his
own family, how is he going to take
care of God's family?
Unfortunately, today a lot of churches are not
like a family.
They are like a big organization, a big
set up with a CEO on top, the
pastor or whatever he is.
And this crowd of people, it may be
4,000, 10,000, who come and watch
the performance on the stage on Sunday morning,
pay their dues and go home and who
are members of an organization.
It's not a family.
Well, if a man is running a factory,
it doesn't matter what his family life is
like.
You see, a man can run any secular
factory, IBM or anything like that.
He doesn't have to have a good family
life, he just got to be a good
organizer, a good manager, maybe a good speaker.
And since a lot of churches today are
run not as families, not the way God
intended, all these professional people who can speak
well and manage things well, get up and
we can say they are actually CEOs of
that organization called the church.
But that's not the church of Jesus Christ.
Church of Jesus Christ is a family.
And one of the primary requirements of a
leader is that he should have been able
to be a success, he should have been
a success in the smaller area of his
own family.
If he has failed there, he is disqualified
in seeking to be a father to a
larger family.
I mean, if he can't bring up three
or four children, how in the world is
he going to bring up a hundred?
It's plain simple logic.
So, that shows us that before you can
build a church, you got to build your
home.
Unless, of course, you are unmarried like Paul
and Barnabas, which was the exception.
1 Corinthians 9 says very clearly that all
the apostles were married, except Paul and Barnabas.
So, single apostles were an exception even in
those days.
All the twelve apostles, as far as we
know, were married.
Peter was married even when Jesus was around.
Because we read that Jesus visited Peter's home
and healed his mother-in-law in one
situation.
So, the home is a very important training
ground for ministry in the church.
Today, a lot of people aspire for ministry
in the church, who have not done a
good work in their own home.
It's like people who want to run in
the Olympic Games, who haven't taken part in
their school sports as yet, and done well.
That's foolish ambition.
And yet, people try to do that.
See, we have a lot of visiting American
preachers in India, like you have here perhaps
as well.
And I have trained the people in our
church, when they hear about all these visiting
preachers from the West who come to India
with their names and photographs all advertised everywhere,
I said, you need to know first of
all what type of family this man has.
We need to find out about that.
We need to find out how he's brought
up his children, how he lives with his
wife.
We need to find out what sort of
church he's built in his hometown.
Only then would I begin even to listen
to such a person.
Otherwise, I personally have no interest.
There are multitudes of these wandering preachers who
have never built a proper home and never
built one single church in their whole life.
Then what are they preaching?
They are theoreticians, they are like single bachelors
going around preaching how to bring up children.
How many of you would go and listen
to such a young man giving a sermon
on how to bring up children, who's never
married himself and never brought up any children
himself.
But what we would never do in that
situation, multitudes of Christians are doing in a
Christian situation.
They are listening to a man who's never
built a church in his whole life, trying
to teach people how to build a church.
What else are we supposed to do?
God has not called us to just be
lone single individuals.
A major part of our life is spent
at home.
You know that.
It's not spent in the church.
It's not spent in meetings.
Where do you spend 90% of your
time?
90% of your time is spent in
two places.
Your home and your place of work.
Jesus spent 90% of his earthly life
in his home and his place of work.
30 years out of 33 is 90%
of his time.
He spent it in his home in Nazareth
and his carpenter shop.
Because he wanted to be an example for
all of us who spend 90% of
our time in our home and in our
place of work.
And it is after he had proved himself
faithful in his home and his place of
work, that the father said, This is my
beloved son in whom I am well pleased.
I'll anoint him now.
Let him go out into a ministry.
Even Jesus had to be proved in his
home before God sent him out into a
ministry.
He had to be proved in his place
of work.
And it's only after he was proved and
found faithful in his home and his place
of work, that he was sent out into
the ministry.
And today, there are a lot of people
who think they are better than Jesus.
That they don't need to be proved in
their home.
They don't need to be proved in their
work.
And they are trying to go out and
do ministry for the Lord.
And by the chaos they have produced, you
can see the result.
That's not God's work.
Where did that chaos come from?
The chaos has come because these are unproven
people.
They are like surgeons who are operating, who
have never studied surgery.
I'm amazed that a Christian who would never
go and submit himself to a surgeon in
a theater, who has not studied surgery properly,
submit themselves to all these wandering preachers, and
suffer all types of consequences.
I remember meeting a young sister in Australia
when I was there some years ago.
And she said, Brother Zach, some American preacher
came here, some charismatic man, and he had
public meetings, and he said, all those who
want the baptism of the Holy Spirit, come
forward.
And he laid hands on everybody, and I
also went.
He laid hands on me, and my whole
life has been confusion ever since.
I said, you should never have allowed any
unknown person to lay hands on your head.
Never.
That's wrong.
You don't know what type of spirit he
is transmitting to you.
I remember once when without my...
I was praying with somebody, and without my
even asking, somebody put his hands on my
head, and I pulled it off.
I said, no, thank you.
I said, you've got to be bold.
I don't want anybody laying hands on my
head, unless I have confidence in him, I
choose to submit to him, otherwise I'm not
going to submit to anybody laying hands on
my head.
I said, but sister, don't worry.
There's nothing that the devil has done which
Jesus cannot undo.
That's the good news.
So don't worry, we can pray for you,
and break the effect of whatever spirit or
whatever that person put upon you, in a
prayer.
And I prayed, and broke that bondage, and
I believe she was free.
But I just mention this, because this seems
to be a phenomenon, with plenty of money
available nowadays for Christian preachers, and with worldwide
travel so much easier now in the last
50 years, we have this proliferation of preachers,
particularly from America, and some European countries, wandering
around poorer countries, where they can gather a
crowd, and a multitude of gullible people, just
sit and listen to these people, not knowing
anything about their home life, what they've done
in their home, how they live, anything about
their home church, and just sit, listening with
open mouth, swallowing everything that they say.
But I say, if you don't follow the
scriptures, if you don't compare these people with
Jesus, and you're just impressed by all those
gimmicks, and all those things, then you deserve
to be deceived.
Like I said, if you don't honor God,
you don't honor His word, you deserve to
be deceived.
And you deserve to suffer.
But honor God.
Put His word first.
Be like the Buryans.
So, the home life is very important.
Way back in the beginning, when man sinned,
do you know what God told Adam?
What was Adam's first sin?
It was not eating the fruit.
It was listening to his wife.
It says in Genesis 3, the Lord told
him, because you have listened to the voice
of your wife, Genesis 3, 17, number 1.
And second, eaten from the tree about which
I commanded you, saying, you shall not eat
of it.
Because one led to the other.
But the point there is, what the Lord
was stressing, was, if I were to paraphrase
God's words, it was this, Adam, I made
you the head of your house.
You know very well that I created you
first.
There was no Eve around when you were
created.
Don't you know that, Adam?
Don't you remember how you and I talked
together when there was no Eve around?
And then you and I talked together, then
I put you to sleep, and I made
Eve and I brought her to you, and
you were to be her head.
And you did not take your proper place
as the head of the home.
You just allowed your wife to do what
she liked.
The most important decision that any human being
ever took on this earth was taken by
a woman without consulting her husband.
Right?
In the Garden of Eden.
And that foolish husband just stood there, watching
this whole discussion going on between his wife
and Satan and said nothing about it.
You know, in the early days when I
didn't read the Bible very carefully, I used
to think that Eve went for a private
walk in the garden, and Adam went another
way, and that she was alone talking to
the devil, and then afterwards she found Adam
and gave him the fruit.
But that's not true.
When I read carefully, I discovered that it
says in Genesis 3, when the woman, verse
6, when the woman saw that the tree
was good for food, and that it was
a delight to the eyes, and that the
tree was desirable to make one wise, she
took from its fruit and ate, and she
gave also to her husband with her, and
he ate.
The husband was, it says here, with her.
It's written very clearly.
He was with her all the time.
He was standing right there, and the devil,
why didn't the devil talk to Adam?
Have you ever thought of that?
He knew who'd be deceived.
He spoke to Eve, and Eve replied, and
the devil said something else, and Eve said
something else, and this discussion is going back
and forth, and what's this man doing here,
who's supposed to be the head of this
woman?
He's just standing there with his open mouth
and looking this way, that way, as the
conversation goes on.
And then when he sees her reaching out
and taking that fruit, he still watches.
You'd think he's a dumb character.
He just watches her eating it, and then
after she's eaten it, she says, here darling,
you eat something.
He just opens his mouth and eats it.
What a man.
What an effeminate man the first man was.
She was the head of that whole.
And that's how chaos came into the world.
And that's how chaos comes into a church,
when some woman is allowed to run the
show.
It could be publicly.
The Bible says, God does not allow woman
to be an elder in a church, because
Eve was deceived, and Adam was made first.
Two reasons.
One, Eve was made second after Adam, and
second, Eve was deceived.
Two reasons.
She's not fit to teach, because she was
deceived.
She's not fit to be a leader, because
Adam was made first.
It's so clear.
There's an order in creation, there's an order
in the church.
But a lot of churches don't follow that.
Now, I'm not against women, the Bible is
not against women, Paul was not against women.
But it's an order.
It's like saying, God has not permitted men
to bear children.
There are no two ways about it.
No matter how much you try, a man
cannot bear children.
That's it.
That's a function God's given to women.
What are men going to do about it?
Complain?
No.
But praise the Lord, we just accept it.
In exactly the same way, God has not
appointed a woman to be a leader.
That's it.
What should a woman do about it?
Just praise the Lord and accept it.
That's God's way.
So a man must be the leader in
his home, if he's to be a leader
in a church.
Otherwise he's going to follow the way of
Adam and destroy the work of God.
There are lots and lots of cases like
this, where, you know, a man in an
elders meeting can sit with the other elders
and take a decision and then he comes
home and his wife puts all types of
ideas into his head and in the next
elders meeting he has to pass on these
new ideas.
And the wife knows, I can control this
church very well.
Very easy.
Through my husband, I just manipulate him when
he comes home and find out all that
happened over there and tell him what he
should go back and repeat like a parrot
in the next elders meeting and I control
the whole church.
There are a lot of women who control
churches like this.
And you know, it says in Revelation in
chapter 2, Revelation chapter 2, the
Lord says to the elder, the messenger of
the church means the elder of the church
in Thyatira, verse 18.
One of the complaints the Lord has against
this elder in the church in Thyatira is,
I have this against you, verse 20, that
you tolerate the woman Jezebel and that word
in the original could also be translated as
your wife Jezebel.
To the elder he says, I have something
against you.
You are doing a lot of good works,
a lot of service and faith and verse
19, your deeds, a lot more deeds now
than you did at first, all that is
good.
But, he says, I have this against you
that you allow your woman, your wife Jezebel
who calls herself a prophetess to lead my
bond servants astray.
She teaches and leads my bond servants astray.
I have seen many, many, many churches where
the pastor's wife has tremendous power over other
brothers in the church.
It should not be so.
Such a man is unfit to be a
leader because he is not able to keep
his own family under control.
He is like Adam who allowed his wife
to run his life.
So, the going astray of the home started
in Eden.
And it started with a man not asserting
his authority as the head of the home.
Now, if a man cannot run his own
home as the head of his home, how
in the world is he going to run
the church?
So, the leadership in the home is essential.
A man must be the leader.
And you know what a leader is?
A leader is not a pusher.
He doesn't get behind his wife and push
her and say, why aren't you like this?
And why aren't you like that?
And why don't you do that?
Such a man is not a leader.
A leader is one who, like Jesus, goes
in front and says, follow my example.
He is not pushing his wife to be
spiritual.
He is spiritual himself and goes ahead as
a leader and his wife follows this godly
example.
That is the type of person who is
fit to go to the next story and
build a third story.
One who has built a relationship, been an
example in his home.
Now, let me clarify this.
The Bible never says anywhere that a man
must have an excellent marriage or a very
harmonious marriage in order to be an elder.
It doesn't say that and I will not
say it.
There are many elder brothers, many godly men
who have had very difficult wives.
One of the most famous of them was
John Wesley who had a wife who was
like a witch.
Yeah, literally.
She used to pull the hairs from his
beard and do all types of things in
the presence of others but John Wesley preached
sanctification and he lived it and he proved
that he was sanctified by the type of
wife he had and he never spoke a
word against her.
He was a godly man.
But he was fit to be a leader.
So a harmonious marriage is not what I
am talking about.
I am talking about a godly leader in
the home.
If your wife is disobedient, rebellious, what can
you do about that?
You can't do anything.
You are still fit to be an elder
in a church.
I know one brother in not in one
of our churches, in another country I met
a brother who was an elder in a
church and his wife would not come to
his church.
His wife went to some other church and
also claimed to be a believer.
She went to some Pentecostal church and he
was the elder in one of these other
churches and she made life hell for him
at home.
And I asked him, he and I were
together sharing a room once in a conference
and I asked him, Brother, what exactly does
your wife do to you?
He said, She flings cups and glasses at
me and I have to duck to save
myself.
And he said, At the end of it
all, I stand in front of my wife
and say, You are the queen of my
heart.
And I said, Brother, you are really fit
to be an elder in the church.
Definitely.
So what if your wife is like that?
You have learnt how to be a godly
example and a godly leader.
So, we are not talking about a harmonious
marriage.
That's good.
If you have a harmonious marriage, that's wonderful.
That would be ideal.
But unfortunately, there are some marriages where an
elder brother does not have a wife who
is willing to submit to his leadership.
She's got the spirit of Jezebel.
Now, what can this elder in Thyatira do
if he's got a wife like this?
Who wants to create problems?
Well, he's just got to make sure that
she's not allowed to interfere in matters in
the church.
I remember once I spoke to a brother
before he got married.
And one of our church's young brother was
getting married to a very strong sister, young
sister.
And he asked me for any advice.
Before he got married, I said, Brother, be
the head of your home.
That's the only advice I have to give
you.
And then some years after his marriage, he
met me again and I said, Do you
have any advice for me?
I said, Be the head of your home.
You must lead your home, not let your
wife run your home.
And he said, Well, Brother Isaac, if I
try to put my foot down, there'll be
war.
I said, Let there be war.
Win those wars.
Fight the battles of the Lord and be
the head of your home.
But don't just yield your headship because you're
afraid of a little war.
I'm not for war.
I'm a man of peace and we should
have peace.
But if I have to, if we have
to have peace and the price for peace
is giving up the headship of the home,
I say, Sorry.
That's too big a price because we have
to honor God.
So, Adam's failure is a big warning.
God has created man to be the head
of the home because the husband-wife relationship,
Ephesians 5, pictures Christ and the church.
And where in the world do you see
the church taking over the leadership and telling
Christ to follow?
I mean, that's ridiculous.
And that's what is being pictured where a
man meekly follows his wife.
Can you picture Christ meekly following the church?
That's completely wrong.
The husband-wife relationship is supposed to picture
Christ and the church.
And that's why it's important that a godly
husband will seek to be the leader in
his home whether his wife likes it or
not.
He has to be an example in leadership,
in everything.
He leads by example.
Patience.
Jesus did not catch us by our neck
and force us to do things.
I remember once a husband asked me, a
Christian husband.
They were a Christian couple.
He said, Brother Zach, what shall I do
if my wife refuses to obey me?
The husband and wife were sitting talking to
me.
Shouldn't she just do what I say even
if she doesn't agree with me?
I asked him, I said, has the Lord
ever forced you to obey Him when you
were not yet convinced about some matter?
Whether about baptism or anything?
No.
The Lord never forces.
He loves a cheerful giver.
I said, you must give the same freedom
to your wife to voluntarily, joyfully, cheerfully follow
you.
If she takes a little longer to do
it, let her take her time.
But you're not supposed to force her in
any way.
Forcing is not God's way in His kingdom.
You have to lead by example.
And how is it Jesus won our hearts?
He never forced me.
He's never forced me once in all the
43 years I've known Him.
He's always led by example.
Sometimes I've taken a long time to take
a step which He told me to take.
But He's waited.
He's waited until I was convinced.
And I did it.
And that's how He won my heart.
And that's how a man must be the
leader.
And if a man is blessed with a
wife who understands that God has given her
husband a position of leadership and ministry, then
such a man is a very blessed man
because it makes his life so much smoother
and easier.
Like the Bible says, two are better than
one.
Because even though a woman is not an
elder in the church and she's not supposed
to influence her husband in any way in
church matters, she is an elder in home
matters.
In the home, there are two elders.
The husband and the wife.
And the husband and wife are two.
If they are both spiritually minded, they are
keeping a good relationship, then they complement one
another in understanding God's way for the home.
See, the purpose of two elders in a
church is to prevent one-man leadership.
In the Old Testament, they had one-man
leadership.
Moses, Joshua, David, etc.
But in the New Testament, you never see
one-man leadership.
Nowhere.
Jesus always sent out people two by two.
Paul went with Barnabas.
Peter went with Mark or John.
And they always appointed elders, plural, in every
church.
That is God's way.
Because the reason is there are dangers in
one-man leadership.
The best of us is imbalanced by himself.
I'm very thankful that right from the beginning
of our ministry in Bangalore, God gave me
another brother.
He didn't know as much as me and
he was not mature as me, but together
we sought to lead the church forward.
He was completely different from me in every
way.
But it was a balance.
And the same way in a home.
If God's given you a wife who is
completely your opposite, you can be pretty sure
God led you to her.
Because that's how God brings people together.
People who are a balance for the other
person.
When young couples are planning to get married
and they come to me for counseling, I
draw a little diagram for them.
I first draw a whole egg and then
I break it on the paper and I
say, see how this broken eggshell is.
All full of jagged edges.
The top half has got jagged edges.
The bottom half has got jagged edges.
And I say, that's how you are.
Two imperfect people with a lot of jagged
edges.
And now God is trying to make you
one.
And do you see how when these two
halves are put together, how perfect it is?
You don't see any jagged edges, you don't
see any gaps.
Because wherever there's a projection in the lower
half, there's a depression in the upper half.
And wherever there's a projection in the upper
half, there's a depression in the lower half.
That means wherever there's a strong point in
you, there's a weak point in your wife.
And where there was a strong point in
your wife, there's a weak point in you.
And when it's put together, it's perfect.
That's how God meant a husband and wife
to be.
A complement to one another.
And a man who forces his wife to
be like him is foolish.
It's like taking that lower half of the
eggshell and cutting it and shaping it exactly
like the one on top.
And then what happens when you put it
together?
A lot of gaps.
And it's foolish.
Or to use another illustration, a husband could
be pictured like a person who's taking a
photograph of a building from the northern side.
And his wife looks at the same building
from another perspective, from the southern side.
So she takes a photograph from there, and
when both the photographs are put together, they
look totally different.
But that's the way you get a view
of the whole building.
So when you come into a particular situation
concerning your children, shall we permit our children
to do this?
Shall we permit them to dress like this?
Shall we permit them to go for this
school function?
Or not?
Shall we allow them to indulge in this
activity or not?
It's good to have two opinions.
One from one side, the other from the
other side.
When they're put together, we arrive at God's
understanding of God's will.
That's how a husband-wife team is supposed
to function as elders in the home.
Whereas a foolish husband who forces his wife
to see everything from his viewpoint is like
the man who's pulled out his wife from
the southern side of the building, brought her
to the northern side of the building, and
they've got photographs, and the photographs are identical.
And you've missed out completely on another perspective
to that situation.
Do you see how foolish a lot of
husbands are?
Or some wives, who drag the husband down
to the south side.
No.
Leave them where they are.
It's only sin that we need to get
rid of.
But different perspectives, that's God's way.
For example, God is kind and strict.
And our children must see kindness and strictness
in us.
Because then only can we reflect God properly
to our children.
And it's a very rare person who's perfect
in kindness and perfect in strictness.
Usually we are a little imbalanced one way
or the other.
And if you have a God-given partner,
she will be imbalanced the other way.
So between both of you, there'll be a
perfect balance of kindness and strictness.
And that's right.
Never should be allowed children to come between
father and mother to try and play daddy
against mommy.
And try and come in between.
And you know the chaos that came into
the family of Isaac.
Because his wife had favorites.
And he had favorites.
He favored Esau.
And Rebecca, his wife, favored Jacob.
And the end result was lifelong enmity between
the children.
But who fed that?
Father and mother.
Who had favorites.
It's a very dangerous thing to have favorites
in a home.
Father and mother must always be united.
They may be different in their perspective.
And I always say to husbands and wives,
if you have your differences, don't ever ever
discuss it in the presence of your children.
Always discuss it privately.
There can be differences.
Differences in outlook or perspective need not mean
that we are disunited.
Disagreement is not the same as disunity.
Two people can be disagreed on something and
yet be perfectly one in spirit.
Even though they don't see two things in
exactly the same way.
I mean, I find that in Christian fellowship
too.
I can disagree with a brother on a
particular doctrine or it's a peripheral doctrine or
some matter which is not central to the
Christian life.
And I can be perfectly one with him
in spirit.
And so can we be with our wives.
It's very important to safeguard that unity of
spirit with our wives if we are to
build a godly home.
Because we have to keep the devil out
of our home.
And how are you going to keep the
devil out of the home?
By unity between husband and wife.
I want to show you this verse which
you may not have seen in relation to
husband-wife relationships.
Matthew chapter 18.
Matthew 18 verse 18.
It's talking here about binding satanic forces that
operate from the heavenly realm.
You know the Bible says that we wrestle
with spirit forces in the heavenlies.
And these satanic forces work down on earth
from the heavenly realm in a home, in
a church, anywhere.
And we have to bind those satanic activities
and lose.
Sometimes our children are affected by those satanic
forces.
How to lose them?
We have to bind those satanic forces.
It's not enough just to pray to God.
We also have to bind satanic forces because
God has given us that authority.
That's spiritual warfare.
And it says here, whatever you bind on
earth verse 18 of Matthew 18 will be
bound in heaven.
In heaven means not the third heaven where
God is.
There's nothing else to be bound there.
It's in the second heaven where the devil
is.
And whatever you lose on earth here is
this person, maybe your son or daughter bound
by the devil in some way.
We lose that person and that second heaven
where the devil has had a control over
your son or daughter has to release that
grip because you released that person in Jesus'
name.
But how is this binding and losing going
to be done?
Listen.
Two of you.
And as soon as you read two of
you think of husband and wife.
Two of you.
This cannot be done by one person.
Minimum two.
And those two people must be completely agreed.
Not agreed concerning everything they read in the
newspapers or everything that is under the sun
but agreed in spirit to fight against the
devil agreed in their love and devotion to
Christ if they are agreed in spirit and
they ask anything from my father in my
name it will be done.
It's an amazing promise.
It's the only place in the gospels where
you find it.
In fact it's almost the only place in
the bible where you find it.
There are lots of promises which say if
you ask anything in my name it will
be done.
If you ask anything in my name it
will be done.
But there is one place where it says
if two of you agree concerning anything and
ask the father it will be done.
This is something that my wife and I
have frequently claimed and practiced through the years.
As children grow up they face various problems
physical sicknesses satanic attacks particularly if you are
in leadership in Christian work your family becomes
the target of satan's attacks in one way
or the other.
Don't easily criticize the families of Christian leaders
they are facing attacks which your children may
never face if you are not in Christian
leadership.
They face attacks from satan and the only
way to keep satan away is by husband
and wife united kneeling down praying binding those
satanic powers in the name of Jesus and
releasing our children from the bondage of satan.
For that two are to be united and
it is in this context that it says
in the next verse where two are gathered
together in my name there I am in
the midst so that you can exercise my
authority and bind that satanic force.
So how does the devil get into a
home then?
The devil gets into a home by separating
this unity between husband and wife.
If he can make this husband and wife
who are so wonderfully one have a little
tension or little unforgiving attitude towards each other
some misunderstanding he whispers something in his ear
and goes and whispers something in her ear
there are demons all around whispering things some
of those things those voices you hear by
the way are from demons especially if they
are trying to sow misunderstanding between you and
another brother or between you and your wife
or you and your husband the suspicion the
purpose of the devil the devil is to
separate you so that there is a gap
and when there is a gap he can
walk through and you know who he is
going to attack?
Your children.
Many children in Christian homes have been exposed
to the attacks of the devil please listen
carefully because husband and wife have a misunderstanding
husband and wife will not quickly resolve a
dispute each is standing on their own ground
refusing to as they say, compromise and as
long as they stay like that the gap
is wide open and the devil says well,
the longer that gap is open the better
for me and those poor children the number
of children that have suffered because of the
disunity of husband and wife arguing over some
silly trivial usually some earthly thing which has
no value in eternity and ultimately some of
them even lose their children permanently to the
world and the devil how can such a
man build the third floor the house of
God not possible because in the house of
God he is going to deal with many
more children here he is dealing with only
one or two in his home now he
is going to deal with a hundred unless
he is a professional preacher who is not
bothered about the church as a family and
unfortunately that's how it is with a lot
of people then of course he is not
bothered but the church is meant to be
a family I remember once when some of
the young teenage girls in our church were
doing not evil things but some things which
were not wise among each other passing notes
and things like that I felt the need
one day to get up and correct them
publicly and I was planning to come down
very hard on them in the desire to
preserve the church of God in purity and
as I was about to get up to
speak the Lord said to me one word
he said remember they are your daughters in
my own home I don't have any daughters
I've only got four sons he said they
are your daughters and all of a sudden
I realized I was a father in the
church just like I was at home and
these were not some strangers these were my
own daughters who were misbehaving and that made
me speak in an altogether different tone true
eldership is where you recognize everybody in the
church as your son and daughter it's not
somebody else's son or somebody else's daughter it's
yours but the training for that comes in
your own home training to work together with
another elder in a local church comes through
your learning to work together with your wife
at home of course if she is not
cooperative you can't do much about it but
from your side you must be willing see
God has put two people together so that
the rough edges in each can be smoothened
out through friction through we may disagree you
know that verse I'm not even sure if
I'll be able to find it in Proverbs
there is a verse in chapter 27 which
says iron sharpens iron yeah 27.17 iron
sharpens iron so one man sharpens another so
it's good for a man with strong convictions
to marry a woman with strong convictions if
they can work together they will sharpen one
another one is iron and the other is
iron but if you are like a dictator
like some husbands are like dictators they have
reduced their wife to clay and here is
the strong impression made upon the clay no
resistance it's not unity it's dictatorship it's one
man's opinion being imposed on the other and
there is no sharpening clay cannot sharpen iron
and the man is lost out whereas if
you could retain the headship of your home
without destroying the individuality of your wife you
are really a wise husband retain the headship
of your home without destroying the individuality and
personality of your wife you are really a
wise husband God has made her to be
herself she can sharpen you if you reduce
her to a lump of clay you are
going to be the loser it means learning
how to give and take it means learning
how to stay within your circle these are
important lessons we got to learn at home
before we can build the third floor the
whole third floor is to rest on the
second floor don't forget that how many of
you know the verse which says wives be
subject to your own husbands as unto the
Lord I am sure every husband knows that
verse I want to ask you husbands who
know that verse do you know the verse
that comes before that do you know the
verse that comes before that it's in Ephesians
5 verse 21 verse 22 is wives be
subject to your own husbands as to the
Lord what is verse 21 I have many
answers I don't know if anyone said the
right one but do you know what the
verse before that is husbands and wives be
subject to one another so before it tells
the wives to be subject to the husbands
it tells the husband to be subject to
the wife did you know that aren't you
all excited that there is a verse that
balances it out scripture is full of balanced
teaching there is no imbalanced teaching in scripture
now what does it mean when it says
be subject to one another in the fear
of Christ see God has drawn a circle,
a boundary around all of us a wife
has got her personality her individuality her sphere
of influence in a home you know particularly
in the kitchen and home matters and the
husband has got his circle in relation to
his work and business and handling of finances
and things like that and what to be
subject to one another is the Lord saying
don't go treading into her circle and trying
to impose your laws over there I mean
be the head of your home but recognize
that there is a circle around her too
I remember a story, I heard a true
story of a godly man which illustrates this
he had a very orderly mind he was,
everything was neat and tidy you know the
orderly mind the perfectionist, everything must be done
in a bookshelf, the books must all be
kept in descending order of size you know
this is, it's good it looks neat and
all that type of stuff that was his
way of thinking and he had a wife
who was absolutely the opposite obviously united by
God for each other's sanctification as iron sharpens
iron but completely slipshod who couldn't bother to
waste time over all these things ok now
it was alright, he was keeping his books
in that order but when he went into
the kitchen he'd go into the kitchen to
help wash up you know very good thing
to do help his wife washing up the
dishes and now it came to putting away
the dishes his wife would just keep it
here and there no question of order or
any such thing spoons and forks and everything
here and there and he would sometimes wash
up there alone and now he would think
his tendency was to keep it all in
order but here's the wisdom of that man
he kept it in disorder you know why?
because he felt if I keep it in
such perfect order my wife will come here
and be so discouraged that she can't do
it like that that'll make her miserable so
in order to make her happy he kept
it in this confused state even though his
mind didn't agree with that that is wisdom
that is recognizing her circle this is not
sin there's no law in the bible which
says the big plates must be on the
left and the small plates must be on
the right who said that?
fellowship is more important than where the plates
are to have confusion at home and fight
at home just over where you put the
shoes and where you put the plates is
foolish fellowship is far more important than even
neatness and tidiness in your house let me
tell you that don't forget that fellowship between
husband and wife because if you don't learn
to build fellowship there with someone who's different
from you you will not be able to
build the third floor because the most important
thing in the church is fellowship and if
you're not able to build it down with
your own wife how in the world are
you going to build it up there in
the church?
you'll never be able to do it so
that's why it's so important and one word
about bringing up children God is kind and
strict the bible says in Romans 11.22
behold the kindness and the severity of God
our children must see our kindness and our
severity and there also we are trained to
be kind and strict in the church as
elders and the training ground is the home
where our children must see our kindness and
our severity when they are young there's no
law on this but the bible says don't
spare the rod it says use the rod
on your children there are a number of
verses in Proverbs 22 and others which speaks
about using the rod and not to spare
him for his crying because God uses the
rod on us let me show you Hebrews
chapter 12 Hebrews chapter 12 is a New
Testament verse it says here
verse 6 those whom the Lord loves he
disciplines he scourges every son whom he receives
and if you get disciplined then God is
dealing with you as with sons verse 7
what son is there whom his father does
not discipline it says in verse 6 the
Lord scourges scourges the use of a leather
whip it says the Lord uses a leather
whip like a belt on his children disciplining
them it's a New Testament verse and it
says which father is there who doesn't do
that for his own children unfortunately there are
fathers today who follow the principles of modern
psychology then the word of God and they
suffer the consequences of that in their own
home and it says here about our fathers
disciplining us in verse 10 as seemed best
to them and such discipline is sorrowful and
it says there is an example of how
we must submit to the fathers our heavenly
fathers discipline so a loving father will discipline
his children but not discouraging them not provoking
them to anger by being unreasonable and that's
where we learn the balance of kindness and
strictness our children must grow up recognizing in
us what God is like that God is
infinitely kind and at the same time strict
concerning standards and if our children can see
that we have reflected God aright to our
children and that's a very very important thing
and as they grow up into their teenage
years it becomes too late to discipline them
physically after that then we must win their
hearts it's very important that as our children
grow up that parents, fathers have fellowship with
their sons and daughters not that they are
distant a lot of parents are distant from
their children how can such a man build
the house of God so we could take
many examples like this where the training at
home is the preparation for building God's house
so what I want to say is God
has a responsibility for all of us in
His house even if we are not elders
we have to be examples everybody has to
be an example even if he is not
an elder and the training for that begins
in our home the way you bring up
your family is a pretty good test of
your genuineness as a Christian how do I
know that Noah was an upright man a
genuine man who was concerned about God's work
because his children followed him joined him in
the work of the ark how do I
know that Abraham was a godly man his
son Isaac submitted you know it says they
went up Mount Moriah Isaac carried the wood
he must have been a strapping 25 year
old young man and his father was a
125 year old man and his father said
Isaac lie down on that altar I'm going
to kill you now he lies down can
you imagine how Abraham brought up his son
Isaac which 25 year old would do that
there you see why God was so happy
with Abraham he brought up his son to
obey God to honor God and in contrast
to that you see men like Eli claiming
to be great leaders whose children were wayward
and God says I remove the responsibility from
you Eli because you did not bring up
your children right so it's there in the
Old Testament and it's there in the New
Testament and we see plenty of examples of
that today if a man does not have
a good family relationship if he's not the
husband of one wife if he's not brought
up his children properly he cannot build the
house of God our subject is building the
dwelling place of God we've got to do
it in our heart first and then in
our home let's pray Heavenly Father we pray
that you will apply the truths of what
we've heard to our lives that we can
walk in the light of it and do
your work on earth in the short time
that's left before Jesus comes again we pray
in Jesus name Amen