Thank you for the lovely songs that we
sang, the hymns of our faith, and the
very lovely way you sing it.
Thank you for not singing like the world,
for singing the old hymns of our faith.
I do thank you from my heart for
the joy it is to sit in such
an atmosphere.
Thank you also for the very precious word
our brother said with us this morning.
Thank you for sharing there, and with your
family, singing too those lovely, lovely hymns.
And it is so sweet to trust in
Jesus.
Thank you for sharing those precious passages, brother.
I can't see you in my old age,
so I'm looking at everyone and saying, thank
you, brother.
Where are you, brother?
Where did you go?
I hope he hasn't left.
There you are, in the back.
Okay, thank you, brother, for sharing those lovely
passages.
2 Corinthians 12, verse 7.
Oh my, what words pour out of there.
Titus 2, 11, staggering words of grace, what
grace really calls us to.
We do bless God, brother, for you sharing
those things to us this morning, in the
light of Asa and his downfall.
Well, we do bless you for waiting on
God and bringing that which God gave you,
from your heart and your soul to us,
brother.
And may God anoint you and use you
as you share and fuse to the things
of God, that God burns in your heart,
the scriptures God burns in your heart.
Bless you.
Now it's my joy to be in your
country, and especially, very especially to be here.
I didn't know there was two churches.
It used to be one, and I'm getting
used to it.
But I'm glad to be in the new
church.
I think you call yourself the new church?
Well, the new group.
Let me think, and the little bits I've
picked up here and there, most of you,
the Hutterites.
I'm getting that word right.
So you all like to be together.
Who isn't a Hutterite here?
Could you put your hand up?
So you're not all Hutterites.
Wonderful.
I'm getting all confused as to who.
But I believe you're going to have a
lovely new building, and I'm looking forward, if
God spares me, to coming and seeing what
God gives you in a convention center, and
a place to be able to practically work
all the things, the remnant and the tape
ministry.
Bless the Lord for what God has in
your heart, and may he honor you.
The first time I ever came here, I
thought to myself, these people need a big
conference.
I'm glad God's given it to you, because
you're aiming in it right now.
Who has, who is belonging to this church
alone?
Could you put up your hands?
I'd like just to see something.
Okay.
And who has been coming along to the
meetings?
The other side.
Okay.
And the rest of you?
Naughty.
That's what I say to my children, you
know, when I really scold them.
Naughty.
But, um, now you've come tonight.
Otherwise, next time I'm here, I'll say naughty
again, you see.
That's a thrashing.
You pray for me, and you please come
tonight.
I'll be very grateful.
And do pray for me as I go
around your country.
I've come to love America very deeply, and
I don't know why God took the basest,
and the weakest, and the most unworthy of
priestess from the other side of the world.
But I think what caliber of men are
over there in my country, and across Africa,
how God could take this weak man, and
give me the privilege of coming to other
countries, and to your country like this.
I marvel at God's grace, and mercy.
But he chooses the base things of the
world, and the weak things of the world,
to despise.
There's no flesher glory in his presence.
Isn't that lovely?
God takes up the weakest of us, brother,
because he knows he won't glory.
Because if we do, he hasn't here, his
presence won't be felt.
So he has to bypass the strong.
Now, our wonderful Lord, thank thee for this
lovely day.
Thank thee that we, as thy people, can
be together, and sing the hymns of our
faith to our God.
And thank thee for fellowship, that is so
sweet.
And thank thee, God, for the holy word,
that we have come to love, for thou
dost speak to us through it.
And is there anything so sweet to us
as thy voice, Lord, when we know it's
not just words written, it's God speaking to
me.
God speaking to me, words so clear, as
though he was sitting opposite me in a
chair, looking at me in the eyes, and
speaking.
And we have no doubt how thy word
is like that to us, Lord, sometimes from
the pulpit, sometimes in our quiet times.
But there it is, Lord, the word of
God to our hearts, to quicken us, to
show us the way, to caution us, to
encourage us, to comfort us, to heal us.
So long as this book is open, Lord,
we will not be offended in thee, blessed
is the man whose delight is in the
law of the Lord, and nothing shall offend
him.
O God, when our one delight, our great
delight, is thy law, thy word, nothing shall
offend us.
How we love thee.
How we bless thee for giving us the
Bible, to be a lamp unto our feet,
to light unto our path.
How we bless thee for giving us the
Bible, for we've learned man shall not and
cannot live by bread alone, but by every
word that proceeds out of the mouth of
God.
How we bless thee for this word.
How we bless thee, God, and are able
to come to thee with the things God
has held out to us, that our faith
has been served.
Remember the word, Lord, unto thy servant upon
which thou hast caused me to hope.
Thank thee for every promise in the book
that thou has given me, God, to keep
me from faltering, to keep me from taking
my eyes of God, to keep me from
losing hope, to fill me with hope where
there is no hope.
The staggering work of God in the heart
through the Bible, we do bless thee for
it.
Keep this open before all of us through
our lives, Lord.
Now in mercy wash me in the blood,
fill me with the Holy Spirit, keep us
under the blood.
Open our eyes and our hearts in grace
and mercy on us, and speak to every
heart in the most profound and precious way.
We ask these things in the name that
we love and that we live for, in
the name we would gladly die for.
We ask these things in the name of
Jesus the Christ.
Amen.
A good number of years ago I was
led by God, I believe in my heart,
in my understanding, to preach a message on
marriage.
And I took scriptures and illustrations of the
things that have happened in the dealings with
people in the early years of my ministry,
and I put together as I trusted God
for guidance, a message concerning how a Christian
marriage should be, and what God requires of
us in our home and in our marriage.
I had no idea how many multitudes and
multitudes of people across this world, how many
would seek God through that message.
Had I known as I put it together,
I would have even been more careful and
more diligent.
I have been thrilled and blessed and encouraged
to see how that tape of that message
spread across my land, into homes and homes
and homes, and how people would walk up
in the streets, in the malls, how people
would write letters and phone and say, sir,
my marriage with hell on earth.
Terrible words, isn't it?
Until I heard that message, I was as
good as living separate, though we lived on
the same roof.
We were as good as divorced.
For years there was no love.
I had no love, no respect, no ability
to forgive, bitterness.
And by the end of that message, God
worked in my heart love for my wife
that I've never known before, a healing in
one moment of grace and divine work by
the blood of Christ.
And I love my wife now, and I
love my husband now, sir, and our marriage
is healed.
Oh, how many homes have contacted me and
said these precious words again and again, and
that has so encouraged me.
And then that message I preached once here
in America, and it spread, and I do
bless God for the fruit here in your
land through that one message.
But then the Americans did something strange, you
know, they heard I'd be here in February
in New York this year, and so people
up in Ohio phoned me and said, we
have a meeting annually in a big restaurant
called the Amis Inn.
I don't know if you've seen it, it's
a big, big, big restaurant in some form
of hotel, I think.
And this dear lady said, we have once
a year a couples evening where people come
and we speak about marriage, we get the
priest to preach about marriage.
Now she said, we've all heard your first
message on marriage, we'd like you to preach
something different.
So she didn't leave me with much time,
because I was just adding this little meeting
now onto this program in New York.
So I tried to, but there was no
time.
When I got into the airplane to come
across the world, I took papers and instead
of sleeping most of the way and praying,
I just prepared a message, this trip right
across the world in the airplane.
And this is the message I preached that
night, in that couples evening, where many, many,
many, many people from all over Ohio and
other states came, and this massive big complex
to seek God, about this topic called marriage,
the Christian home, the Christian marriage.
There's a verse in the Bible that I
would like us to consider before we take
any further step into this subject of marriage.
And I think it's a verse that if
they just read it from the pulpit of
every church in the world, it would have
staggering consequences in this day and age.
I doubt that many churches would be willing
to read this verse, because they would lose
most of their congregations in one moment, just
reading it, let alone preaching on it.
Hebrews 13 verse 4 says these words, marriage
is honorable.
Oh, I love that.
God says that.
Young people, they might be living together out
there outside of marriage in their multitude, but
don't forget, God says marriage is honorable in
all.
I love that he added those words, in
all, in God's eyes.
When you're married, there's something about a sanctity,
about all.
Marriage is honorable in all.
And the bed, the bed, the bed, undefiled.
Now the irreligious, the godless, laugh, they joke,
they snigger, they sneer when you talk about
the bed.
It's just something evil, something filthy, something indecent,
but to God and God's people and to
the God's Holy One, there's no smile on
the face, there's no sniggering, there's no seer,
there's something holy when God talks of that.
It's sacred.
There's nothing, nothing, nothing of shame, for there's
nothing indecent or sinful, there's nothing impure.
God says marriage is honorable in all, and
the bed, undefiled, God says.
In marriage, it's undefiled, it's sacred.
You could say that word comes close to
meaning in God's eyes, isn't that precious?
Undefiled, marriage is honorable in all, and the
bed, undefiled, but, but, whoremonger and
a doubterer, God will judge.
God will judge.
Don't doubt it now.
Somehow, the great tragedy of this generation that
you and I live in is that the
church marriages crumble from the pulpit down across
all evangelical churches.
The staggering thing is that the salt of
the earth is no longer the salt of
the earth.
The light of the world no longer can
show the world the way God wanted, for
they crumble and marriages everywhere, everywhere, in their
masses.
Christian homes are breaking down in these last
moments of this earth's tragedy, as defilement and
moral decadence, and giving over in marriage is
just the order of the day, presented through
the media as the way of life, as
the norm, to be unfaithful, as heroic.
There's nothing defiled, it's regarded as the norm.
And so the fruit of what you sow,
America, through Hollywood, you're now reaping.
You sow moral decadence, you reap morally decadent
people.
You pay for what you sow, Hollywood.
You pay for what you allow, Hollywood, to
sow, America.
Suddenly the fruit is there, isn't it?
Unfaithfulness, defiling, looseness, moral decadence, and the despising
of marriage, because that's what you put over.
But the church, the church, where is our
stand?
When our marriages start crumbling, I think it's
time for us as the people of God
to get back to the Word of God
and see what have we done wrong?
What have we done wrong?
Because if it doesn't work in the home,
it doesn't work anywhere, brother.
There's one stepping stone in this book I'd
like to take.
It's a chapter you all know, you need
not look it up.
I'm sure every woman here knows Word Perfect,
and every man knows Word Perfect, the words
of Peter that he says concerning marriage.
In 1 Peter 3, likewise, ye wives, be
in subjection.
You want to know what to do?
Get back to God's Word, then open your
heart, even though you don't like the Word,
world.
Likewise, ye wives, God says, be in subjection,
be in subjection, be in subjection to your
own husbands, that if any obey not the
Word, they also may without the Word be
won by the conversation of the wives, by
the life of the wives, while they behold
your chaste conversation coupled with fierce.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection unto your
own husbands.
When you see the word likewise, you must
always say, like what?
That word just doesn't start in a sentence,
it's normally because of something before.
Likewise, like what?
Like who?
Must I be in subjection, like what?
What, what example does God give that he's
saying, like this, I want you to subject
yourself to your husband, in this particular passage,
unsaved, a husband that's not righteous, a husband
that's not good, a husband that treats you
wrong in its context.
Don't leave him, win him, God says.
But this is the way now, be in
subjection.
Likewise, like who?
Let's look at the pre, the words that
precede this chapter, let's look at the words
of chapter two, and you find the word
subjection again and again and again and again,
and you find that he's pointing you to
Jesus, like Jesus.
Oh, I love that.
I thank God we can point women to
Jesus.
If you are not pointed to Christ as
a standard, you're probably being pointed to heresy.
He's our standard.
Beloved, holiness is Christ.
If you present any other standard as what
holiness means, you're heretical.
Oh, the highest standard outwardly is precious, but
if you're not Christ-like, that high standard
is ugly, it's judgmental, separationist.
Law is legalism.
You can have the highest standard attainable, but
unless Christ is the standard, your standard isn't
scriptural.
The standard of this New Testament is Christ's.
Take that away and you have heresy.
Put other standards and leave that out and
you have something ugly, and people won't want
God, beginning with your children.
The fruit of the Spirit is Christ.
The standard of the scriptures is Christ.
Holiness is Christ.
If it isn't, it's heresy.
If anyone points you to anything but Christ,
you're in trouble.
Run!
He points us to Jesus.
Oh, your standard is beautiful, you people.
Don't think I stand here looking at the
modesty of your dress, condemning you.
It's precious, but let me tell you, I
have been with people so modestly dressed, your
heart wants to crumble, but watch them react
in one minute.
Watch them speak words of scathingness in one
minute.
You want to run!
It's so ugly.
It must be Christ, or it's not worth
anything preaching about, or giving, or following.
He points us to Jesus.
Likewise, likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to
your own husbands, that if any obey not
the word, they may also without the word
be won by the conversation, by the life
of the wife, while they behold your taste,
conversation coupled with fear.
What about Jesus?
He's an example of what I must be
when God says, likewise, ye wives, be in
subjection.
What like Jesus?
Let's look at Jesus then.
Let's look at the words, chapter 2, verse
19.
For this is thankworthy, this is thankworthy, if
a man for conscience toward God endure grief,
suffering wrongfully.
For what glory is it when you be
buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it
patiently.
But if when you do well and suffer
for it, ye take it patiently, this is
acceptable with God.
For even here unto where ye call, because
Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an
example that ye should follow his steps, who
did no sin, neither was guile found in
his mouth, who when he was reviled, reviled
not again.
When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed
himself to him that judges righteously.
Now in the light of this whole chapter,
we come to these words, likewise, like Jesus,
who left us an example that ye should
follow his steps, who did no sin, when
you don't do any sin, neither was guile
found in your mouth, when you don't say
anything wrong and people revile you, you don't
revile back.
When you suffer, you don't threaten, you just
commit yourself to him that judges righteously.
Likewise, ye wives, like Jesus, be in subjection
to those who are not righteous toward you,
to those who treat you wrongly, to things
you don't deserve, so that you can win
him.
It's precious that God turns to the wife
you know and says, I want you to
be the one in subjection.
That doesn't belittle you, that honors you.
God can't turn to a man.
He made you in a way that he
can honor you because you can do it.
You can do something to heal the home.
I often wonder why it seems most women
come to God across the world before men,
because somehow God can reach the hardened man
to a woman's life, because you have a
grace men don't have.
You can be in subjection.
You have something so great in you that
God has given you an ability that a
man can't have, and so God has to
bypass the strong, proud man.
Don't think it's a belittling aspect that God
holds you.
You are honored that God turns to you
where there's problems in the home, and he
says, I want you to be the one.
He starts with the woman.
By honoring you, you have the ability, you
have a greatness to be like Christ when
there's troubles in the home.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your
own husbands, that if any obey not the
word.
They also may without the word be won
by the conversation of the wives.
You're not going to win him when he
gets under a great preacher, but you will
win him if you obey me, God says.
Without the word you can win him.
You can win him while they behold your
chaste conversation coupled with fear, whose adorning, let
it not be that outward adorning of plating
the hair and of wearing of gold, or
of putting on of apparel, but let it
be the hidden man of the heart in
that which is not corruptible, even the ornament
of a meek and quiet spirit, which is
in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time,
the holy woman also who trusted in God
adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own
husbands, even as Sarah, even as Sarah obeyed
Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are,
as long as ye do well and not
afraid with any amazement.
Likewise ye husbands, oh my, so it's not
only the wives that have to be like
Jesus.
All right now you can sit back and
it's the husband's turn.
Likewise ye husbands, you mean I've got to
be like Jesus when my wife isn't perfect,
when she fails, that I'm not allowed to
become bitter against my wife, but to love
and be not bitter no matter how weak
she is in her weakness, at those times
she fails under the strain and pressure of
life that I mainly put upon her anyway.
Likewise ye husbands, oh remember like who?
Likewise ye husbands, ye husbands, dwell with them
according to knowledge.
You know with that word dwell with us,
actually it means remain faithful to them, not
just live under the same roof, separated, remain
faithful, don't leave them now, they're the weaker
vessel, they might not be perfect, but dwell
with them.
Likewise ye husbands, forgive like Christ, sometimes learn
to keep Christ like Christ, when it's best
to keep Christ.
Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge.
What does that mean?
Well literally it means this, using your common
sense, keep the home, the testimony of the
home, by using your common sense that God's
given you and in its context, dwell with
them according to knowledge, remain faithful to them,
don't leave them no matter how they fail,
no matter how many times you're tempted to
be bitter, don't, dwell with them according to
knowledge, using your common sense, quickened by the
Holy Ghost, you have the Holy Spirit in
you, he will quicken your conscience, you're a
hundred miles stark of the unsaved man, to
know how to react, because the Holy Spirit
will quicken your common sense, dwell with them
ye husbands, according to knowledge, giving honor unto
the wife.
Oh I love that, do you?
You say you obey God sir, your children
honestly know you do, do you honor your
wife?
How?
Do you respect her opinion?
Do you stand when she walks in the
room when guests are there?
Do you open the car door?
Do you show her any...
how if these things don't mean anything?
How do you honor?
How do you...
oh you say you don't break the laws
of God, you don't break the word of
God, you keep it with all your heart,
tell God right now how your children will
remember you obeyed God, you gave honor, you
giving honor, giving honor, giving honor, giving honor,
not just a moment, right through the day,
right through life, it's not one moment, and
then bury her insane, it's everything the way
you speak to her, do you honor this
that God gave you, as God wanted you
to?
Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to
knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto
the weaker vessels, and as being heirs together
of the grace of life, that your prayers
be not hindered, that your prayers be not
hindered, that your prayers be not hindered.
Now that little phrase is staggering, I
wonder if the prayers of the American church
for America right now are not helping America
just simply because of the state of the
homes, of the marriages of those in the
church, that your prayers be not hindered, that
little statement in its context, it basically means,
it basically means if you live right before
God in your marriage, as God wants you
to, he'll answer your prayer, if you live
right before God generally in life, he will
answer your prayers, listen to this, 1 John
3 verse 20, For if our heart condemn
us, God is greater than our heart, and
knoweth all things.
Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then
have we confidence toward God, and whatsoever we
ask, we receive of him, because we keep
his commandments, and do those things that are
pleasing in his sight.
Oh, that your prayers be not hindered, that
little term basically means, if you live right
before God in life, in your marriage, especially
in this context, God will answer your prayers,
whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because
we keep his commandments, and do those things
that are pleasing in his sight.
There's always a condition to prayers being answered,
but that little phrase, that your prayers be
not hindered, in its context and in the
light of all other scriptures about what God
is speaking about here, it means so much
more than that.
You see, a husband and a wife spend
more time praying together in their lifetime for
their children than anything else.
I want to repeat that.
A husband and wife spend more time in
their lifetime praying together for their children than
anything else.
I want you to listen to these words,
and I want you to listen carefully.
Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when
one day we are forced to pray for
our children to be right with God, if
we were not holy in our marriage.
I want to repeat that.
Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when
we are forced to pray for our children
to be right with God, if we were
not holy in our marriage.
When we pray for our children, how much
of it is for God to undo the
damage we've done through our influences upon their
lives.
I want to repeat that.
When we pray for our children, how much
of it is for God to undo the
damage we've done through our influences upon their
lives from our own failures and our sins
in our marriage that they have witnessed.
How can you expect God to answer your
prayers for your children to be holy and
Christ-like in their marriage, if you didn't
show them it's possible through the example of
your life, especially in your marriage.
You see, if Christianity doesn't work in the
home, can it work anywhere in truth, your
children will reason like that.
Let your prayers be not hindered.
Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when
we're forced to pray for our children to
get right with God, if we were not
holy in our marriage.
It will be the reason that our prayers
will be hindered.
I was preaching a while back in my
country, and a very dignified, deeply religious lady
wanted to see me desperately as the meetings
were going on, and people were seeking God.
And so they arranged for me to see
this lady.
I would never sit alone with a woman.
The minister of the church that had invited
me said to me, oh well, now you
sit in the lounge with her, and my
wife and I, we'll sit in the dining
room next to the lounge so that we're
right in the home.
She wants to speak private things, but you
will be there, but we'll be right beside
you in this house.
So this lady sat.
She wanted time.
She wanted to be out of sight of
others as she spoke to me.
And there she sat, a very dignified, gracious
-looking lady, tears in her eyes.
She said, sir, our home is broken right
now because my son-in-law wants to
divorce our daughter.
My son-in-law wants to divorce my
daughter.
It is so broken, our home.
I said to her, is he saved?
She looked at me and she said, he
said he was saved.
And we trusted him, but he hasn't treated
my daughter rightly.
He hasn't been right to my daughter.
He's treated her wrongly.
Now he doesn't want her.
Now he wants to divorce her.
What are we going to do?
I looked at this broken lady and her
fear and the hurting going on in her
heart as a Christian mother.
And after a while I said, lady, can
I ask you a question?
She said, yes.
I said, is it possible, forgive me for
saying this, is it possible that there's two
sides to the story, that it isn't only
his fault that this marriage has crumbled, that
your daughter's to blame also?
Is it possible, lady, that your daughter had
something to do with the breakdown of this
marriage?
Is it possible, lady, that your daughter gave
him reason to stop loving her, to not
want her anymore?
Is it possible?
This lady's mouth fell open in shock and
her eyes went wide.
She sat back and after about a minute
she just bowed and began to sob.
After a while she composed herself.
She said to me, oh sir, God sent
me here.
I have not wanted to admit this to
myself.
I've been fighting it out of my mind.
But it's true.
It's her fault.
And she sobbed again.
But then she said these words, but there's
something even more terrible than that, sir.
It's because of me.
You see, she treats her husband exactly like
I treated mine.
When I look at the way she speaks,
when I look at the way she treats
her life, my heart sinks.
I can't challenge her because that's how I
treated mine.
I did not give her the example.
I did not live out an example to
my children in my home of what a
husband.
I only realize now how unhappy my husband
must have been through the years.
But I marvel, now I marvel at his
grace.
He didn't leave me.
He endured me.
Let your prayers be not hindered.
It's a terrible statement, sir, lady.
It's a fearful statement.
If you're not going to live it, wait
for the fruit of it, of not living
it, when you have to start praying, because
of the fruit of what you were in
that home.
I was once in a town when I
was a young preacher about 30 years ago,
and I stayed in the home of a
very godly woman.
She had little children, but something about this
woman shook my heart.
She was incapable of being unkind.
She was incapable of saying an unkind word
about anyone, no matter how guilty a person
was.
She just waited to try and defend.
Otherwise she kept quite agonizing if something ugly
was being said about anybody.
Even if it was true, she went through
torment that something was being said, but she
just seemed to live and wait for the
moment she could protect, or somehow defend, or
say something kind.
But it's like incapable of saying anything unkind
about even people who deserved unkind words said
about them.
And I saw the Christ-like youth of
this woman, and it staggered my heart, as
other Christians fail without hesitating, condemning people.
Well years went by before I went back
to that town.
It shook me when they invited me, and
people arranged meetings there, and I got back
in that home.
Now those little girls had grown up.
They were women with married, they were married
with children of their own that were grown
up.
That's how many years went by.
Here were the daughters now, and I was
in the home of the daughter.
They brought their godly old mother, now aged,
down to have a meal on a Sunday
in the home, in the farmhouse.
I preached that morning, I was going to
preach the night, but there they brought her
to see me after all these years and
her frailty.
And you know, after all those years, that
woman was so Christ-like, so much more
Christ-like, that she was like a God's
presence in that home.
You weigh your words in such a person's
company.
When she left, I looked at the daughter
and I said, oh your mother was a
blessing to me when I was a young
priester, but she's just equally now.
I'm just so blessed all over again that
the woman can be so Christ-like as
this woman, that it seems incapable of any
unkindness, no matter how unkind the world is.
She's just kindness, incapable of anything of anger
or malice or judgment.
And this lady looked at me and said,
Keith, you don't know the half about my
mother.
My father was a monster, Keith.
He wasn't just a bad man, he was
a monster in our home.
He was so bad that one day when
my father walked out the door, my sister
and I grabbed my mother and we screamed,
let's run before he comes back.
God doesn't want this of you, mommy.
God doesn't expect this of you, mommy.
Let's get away from him.
And our mother looked at us in shock
and said, no, no, I'm not leaving your
father.
When I said to death, I meant it.
Listen to me, my girls.
If your father was a psychopath, if your
lives was in danger, I would run now
with you.
I would run.
I would know God wouldn't want me to
stay with a man who could murder you
or kill you.
But your father's not a psychopath.
He's just unsaved, very unsaved.
But when I married him, I wasn't saved.
I've come to Christ, but getting saved doesn't
mean I leave him because he's not good.
I have to win him, girls.
I have to win him and I'm going
to.
I'm not leaving him.
Don't you ever tell me to do that
again.
I have to win him.
I'm going to.
But listen to me, girls.
I will never have to give account to
God for anything your father does to me.
Your father will have to give account to
God one day.
I will never have to give account to
God for anything he's done or said.
But I will have to give account to
God for how I react to your father.
No matter how wrong your father is, I
will have to give account to God for
every word I utter it, for every reaction
I react, no matter how unreasonable he is.
And I don't want to have to give
account to God for anything I've said or
done, nothing.
Then she said these words, Keith, my father
did come to Jesus.
He got gloriously saved as he agonized in
the end over the life of my mother.
She brought him to Christ, that eternal life,
because she wouldn't leave him.
She won him.
But we never saw my mother fail God
once, Keith.
We've spoken about it again and again, my
sister and I.
We never saw our mother once fail God.
She was Christ-like, no matter what our
father did to her.
And now we're married, and we have husbands,
and they're saved, but they're not perfect.
They're not angels.
And when our husbands fail, we're so careful,
Keith, how we react to their failures.
Do you know why?
Because our mother left us an example that
no matter how horrible things are, God gives
you grace if you want it to be
utterly Christ-like, no matter what your husband's
failures are.
If you want to be victorious, you haven't
got him to blame for failure.
The grace is there, and before we react
to our husband's failures, and they fail, though
they're saved, we always remember our mother's life,
the example that she gave to us to
prove to us, you can be Christ-like
if you want to, no matter how much
they fail.
We're so careful before we react to our
husband's failures, because of our mother's example and
life that sold us, you can be victorious.
Is that good to you, ladies, that your
daughters one day will be following your example,
what you were in the home, the way
you reacted when your husband failed, that you
showed her how to be, and that it's
possible by God's grace, that her conscience won't
let her destroy the marriage, but win him,
because you showed him, you showed her.
Is that acceptable to you, mothers?
Is that acceptable to you, fathers, that your
boys are going to treat their wives like
you treated yours?
You showed the way, didn't you, what a
godly man is.
So as happy as your wife is to
you, so happy will be your children's wife,
if that's what's going to happen, if the
example was what they're going to follow, and
say, well, that's Christianity, that's as far as
you can go in victory, that's as much
as God requires of me, what I saw
in Daddy.
You know, when I wanted to court Jenny,
I can't tell you what happened to my
heart when I saw my wife, you know.
I was ruined forever.
It was the end of my, I don't
know, I just, when I saw Jenny, I
never knew there was such a beautiful thing
on earth, you know.
It hadn't occurred to me there was such
beauty.
I was just smitten.
But then now, I wanted to court Jenny,
and my father-in-law, they call him
Um Yanni Laru, he's an Afrikaner in our
country, he's a buur, that means farmer, but
he's also a preacher, he's more known across
our land as a preacher than a farmer.
I mean, the people who've been through theological
seminaries with degrees behind their name, as many
as they flock everywhere to hear Um Yanni
Laru, the farmer, when he preaches in the
large, great conventions of South Africa, everyone flocks
to hear this farmer.
He's never been through theological seminar, he sits
on his tractor.
You think he's working in the farm?
No, he's working out a message to priests.
And oh, the school of God on the
farm, oh, that's where it works or doesn't
work, you know.
Farming's not easy.
Oh, how he's loved in our country, and
how many multitudes and multitudes of thousands of
people walk with God through his life and
ministry, from people in the Pupa down.
They love this down-to-earth preaching of
a man who knows how to live it,
not just has theology.
Well, he's a priest, not just a farmer.
Now, when I wanted to court Jenny, when
he saw me looking at his daughter, you
know, and he saw me, oh my, he
started preaching at me.
I just noticed that, shoo, this is a
sermon, and this man's worked it out for
me.
He started preaching.
The moment he saw me looking at Jenny,
he started preaching.
He's still preaching to this day, you know.
When I see my father-in-law come,
I just look at him and I say,
preach.
He's determined that my marriage isn't going to
go wrong.
He's determined that it's his daughter, his darling,
yes, Jenny is his darling, you know, that
nothing's going to go wrong.
Yes, so he's got sermons written for me
about Abraham and Sarah and Isaac, Rebecca.
I just thought, you know, this is strange.
This is for me.
He's got these whole sermons.
He just didn't make an appeal.
Otherwise, I would have been smitten every time.
Oh, he just made sure nothing would go
wrong.
But he saw me looking at Jenny, he
started to preach.
Nonetheless, the day came that I wanted to
ask him if I could court Jenny.
So I went and I sat there, you
know, and I looked at this godly man.
I mean, he's tall and he's big and
he's a man's man.
Everybody respects him, you know, the strength, the
solidness, the Christ-likeness, the wisdom.
Yes, but you don't play the fool with
him.
He's a man.
And I asked him if I could court
Jenny.
And a smile went off his face.
Oh, and I began to tremble.
And he sat back and looked at me,
you know, and he said, Keith, I want
you to do me a favor, boy.
I want you to look at my wife.
I want you to take a careful, careful
look at Jenny's mommy.
Keith, I want you to look at the
way she speaks, the way she speaks to
me and the children, the way she is
in the home.
I want you to look at everything about
her, her priorities.
I want you to take a sober look
at my wife, Keith, because what you see
in Jenny's mommy is what you will see
in Jenny 20 years from now.
I guarantee you that, my boy.
Is that what you want, Keith, in life?
Is that what you want, Keith?
Think.
Don't you answer me.
Think before you answer.
So I thought, and after a while I
said, well, I think your wife is wonderful.
I think she's lovely.
And you look very happily married to her.
So he laughed.
He sat back and he laughed.
And he gave me permission to call Jenny.
Well, 20 years later, over 20 years now,
was he right?
Oh yes.
So right that there's days I am stunned
to silence as I look at my wife
and see her mother in her reactions, in
the way she speaks to me.
So much so that I'm staggered.
He was right.
The way she speaks to the children, her
values, her priorities, her reactions to things.
It's like just knowing what's coming because I've
seen her mother react in those circumstances over
the years.
I do not say that if a woman
is deranged and evil.
I do not say that if a woman
is deranged and evil at her children, her
daughters have to be like her.
No.
But I will say this from my heart.
99% of the daughters you're looking at
now, unless they have a vital encounter with
God that is so real that it will
change their whole character and refine their whole
personality, unless they have such an encounter with
God Himself that so refines and purifies their
whole character and personality, 99% of the
children sitting here in 20 years time will
be their mother, of what they see in
their mother.
I guarantee you.
Can I ask all you mothers here today,
are you happy about that?
If that is true, are you happy that
your daughter will be like you in her
marriage?
Are you happy that your daughter will take
you as an example subconsciously for the rest
of her life?
Listen to these words, Proverbs 30 verse 21.
Four things the earth cannot bear.
One of them, God says in verse 23,
is an odious woman when she is married.
Not before she's married.
What does odious woman mean?
Listen to what it means.
Aggressive, unsubmissive, difficult, argumentative, strong-willed,
ungodly.
John Wesley was a little man like this,
you know, about so high, let's see, yeah,
that's short for a man.
Thank goodness I'm not so short.
But he turned the world upside down.
He brought England back to God when a
bloodbath was flowing from the poor, just wiping
out the guillotined, the upper crusty writs.
The blood was about to start flowing in
England, and one man stopped it.
God raised up Wesley.
Through Whitefield, yes, but Wesley was the one.
And England found healing where the writs started
loving the poor and caring as never before,
and goodness and things being set up to.
And the poor forgave the writs because God
forgives through them.
And God made a great nation through Wesley,
through the mighty moving of God.
But Wesley, in the beginning, was so persecuted
it was unbelievable.
But they say nothing discouraged him.
Nothing could get that man down.
I wish I could say that about me.
They say that Wesley would go into a
town, they'd come out a few hundred men
with stones, you know, throwing them at him.
I believe one occasion there was just a
pile of rocks all over him.
They left him for dead.
You know what he did?
Nothing could stop Wesley, you know, blood all
over him.
He got out, messed up, and he marched
into the town in the state with blood.
And he led every single one of those
men to God.
That's courage, brother.
Nothing could make him give up.
You know what they did once?
They ran out, they took him, they threw
him to the end of a cliff, the
terrible cliff outside.
They threw him flying through the air.
Wesley just, can you believe they do that
to a preacher?
They looked down, he's dead.
They walked away.
You know what Wesley did?
He wasn't dead, thank God.
He got up in a terrible state, but
he climbed up, he walked into the town,
oh, in a terrible state, but with joy
in his face.
And he brought the whole town to Christ.
Nothing stopped, and he was this incorrigible.
Bless the Lord for that.
You know what the King of England said?
The King of England said, this has to
stop.
By law of the King, no more persecution
on Wesley or his followers.
This land's history is being changed.
Look at the bloodbath over there in Europe,
on the other side of the Channel.
It's this man that stops it.
We have to stop, by order of the
King, no more.
And so persecution had to stop.
When the King said stop, it meant stop.
But thank God he had this ability to
get up, no matter what terrible things happened
to him.
But you know they say, one thing discouraged
Wesley.
Only one thing that men can remember of
his lifetime, since he got mightily saved by
God and sanctified.
One thing drove him to despair, and it
was his wife.
No one judged Wesley, you know.
Even the unsaved, no one dared ever bring
it up publicly.
No one judged him, though everyone knew.
Because it wasn't his choice for a wife.
The choice he had was buried by his
brother, Charles.
Charles made a mistake.
And those days when the father died, the
elder brother had a terrible reverence shown to
them, and respect you submitted yourself.
And he had this awe of Charles, and
Charles forced this whole situation of another woman.
And it was the wrong choice.
The devil stepped in there, and John Wesley
had married an odious woman that the world,
the earth, cannot bear.
She was like a tyrant.
She was so shameful what she did publicly
to him.
Everybody just hung their heads, even the unsaved,
praying.
That such a woman lives, though he was
so godly.
Oh, can I ask you all something?
Are you like Sarah in her marriage?
She was the one God always uses the
example of what a godly woman should be
toward her husband for some reason.
Are you a Sarah?
Or are you like that woman that God
says the earth cannot bear when she is
married?
David's wife despised him, you know.
That's terrible to think of the grief that
must have been to God.
You know why David's wife despised him?
Because of their father.
Not everybody has got to bear a cross
like David.
Not everybody has a father in law like
David had.
I mean Saul lived to kill him.
He just lived to kill him, to destroy
him.
Can I just ask in passing, how is
it with your David, mothers and fathers here?
How is it with your son-in-law?
Maybe you don't take a javelin to kill
him openly, but tell me, are you the
reason your daughter despises her husband?
Are you the reason because you despise him?
Because of the failures, not being perfect, even
to you.
Tell me, are you the reason the marriage
lies in ruins, that your daughter despises?
Do you know the influence after marriage?
I can take you to marriages here in
America.
Because the in-laws influence.
Woman left her husband.
So the husband wanted to go through with
God.
She despised her husband because of her father
and mother.
Do you know what influence you are by
your reactions, your little words?
Are you undermining?
Are you living to undermine, to destroy his
ability of ever making a happy marriage?
He hasn't got a chance with you being
the in-laws.
Just in passing, how is it with your
David?
Saul, your daughter has to despise him because
you do.
Who is to blame for failure in marriage?
That's quite a question.
Who would you blame, lady?
Who would you blame, sir?
Who is to blame for failure in marriage?
Adam.
Adam blamed Eve, you know, for his sin.
Isn't that terrible?
Adam, the first marriage, blamed Eve for his
sin.
Tragically, it seems most husbands from that day
to this believe that the sole purpose they
were given a wife was to have someone
to blame for their failures in Christianity.
I'd like to repeat that.
Adam.
Adam blamed Eve for his sin.
And tragically, it seems to me that most
husbands believe that the only reason, the sole
purpose they were ever given a wife is
to have someone to blame for all their
failures in Christianity.
Why does love leave a marriage?
Who is to blame when love leaves in
parts from a man and woman?
Who is to blame for failures in the
marriage?
I was once preaching in a convention.
After I'd preached, there was, I think, lunch
was being served, but I was standing there
and there was fellowship going on, and in
the meeting was a young man and lady
who I'd known for years, who had served
God faithfully.
They were known to stand for God in
their town, in their community.
They were faithful in the church.
And as I stood there speaking to these,
this man and woman, having not seen them
for a while and fellowshipping, suddenly while I
was speaking after the service, a little girl
runs.
Mommy, daddy.
So I said, is this your daughter?
And they said, yes.
Oh, she was beautiful.
Long hair, beautiful.
So her mother said, this is the priest,
sir.
This is the man that stood up in
the front that you were looking at.
He was the one telling us how to
live with God, what God wants us to
do, what God, how God wants us to
live.
He was the one sharing from the Word
of God when you were sitting in the
meeting just now.
This is the priest, sir.
And this little girl looked up at me
for a while, and we all looked at
her smiling, and suddenly a tear came down
her face.
And she said, priest, sir, my mommy and
daddy are very unhappy.
They fight all the time, priest, sir.
My mommy cries herself every night to sleep.
Every day she cries, and she cries all
the time, she cries.
They fight all the time, priest, sir.
Tell them that this is not what God
wants.
Tell them God wants them to be happy.
Tell them this is not what God wants.
Help them.
My heart just sunk as I looked at
this beautiful little girl with tears coming to
her eyes, pleading with me.
I didn't look at the father and mother
then.
I dared not.
You see, I knew then I was in
a trial.
When you suddenly found out about somebody else's
failures, brother, sister, be careful what you say.
You're in testing ground.
You're the one putting the exam right then,
not them.
You're more than them.
I could have turned and rebuked them and
shamed them, but let me tell you what
I've learned about Christianity.
What you do and say when others fail
and you find out about their failures will
come upon you.
Be careful how you react when you're suddenly
conscious of other people's failures.
It'll come back at you if you ever
fail with a vengeance.
I guarantee you.
Be careful.
I wasn't testing ground.
I knew that.
I didn't look at them and devour them
to their failures from the lips of their
child, but I did say this.
I said, little girl, you are very beautiful,
and I know your mother and father must
love you very dearly, and I know God
must love you very dearly, and I know
that God loves your father and mother very,
very much, and I know they love God.
I know that, and I know that they
are going to seek God to heal the
problems in your home.
They're going to seek God with all their
hearts to heal their unhappiness so that they
can be happy again for you, for you,
and I turned and I walked away.
I never looked at the mother and father's
face.
I didn't want to see what was in
their eyes.
I didn't want to see the shame.
Who is to blame?
Who is to blame when love goes out
of a marriage, when the sweetness turns sour,
the tenderness becomes bitterness, love turns to hate?
Who is to blame?
It's quite a staggering question, isn't it?
When I was a boy, my father and
mother were very unsaved, very, very, very much
in the world.
Oh, the dancing, and just, when I was
a boy, there was an unsaved, godless father
and mother, good father and mother, but all
the world was in their hearts.
They didn't only go to the dance.
Daddy had dances in our home.
He had money.
We had socializing.
We had dances in our homes.
We as children even had a whole hall
downstairs for dancing.
It was just the world.
That's how I grew up.
Daddy and mommy met another lady and man,
another married couple, and they befriended them when
I was a little boy.
And these people loved dancing also.
Daddy loved to dance, you know.
They loved to dance, so they were always
going to the dances together, always in our
home.
We had a speedboat on the bay, and
we skied, you know.
One big vanity of life.
So this couple came into our home, and
for years they were the closest friends mommy
and daddy had.
But when they came into our lives, I
remember they were very different from anyone else
we had known.
You know why?
The way they spoke to each other, this
unsaved man and woman.
They used to call each other by names
that, you know, you can say a nice
little pet name, but they had names.
Oh, Zuzop, you know.
Zuzop.
Yes, honey pie.
Sunshine.
Yes, rainbow.
What else did they say?
Oh, it was terrible, you know.
I mean, you just don't have this normally
amongst unsaved.
One little word where nobody's listening, but all
the time, every conversation, Zuzop.
Rainbow.
Oh, my.
It really shook us.
We got home that night, and I'll never
forget daddy turning to mommy and saying, Zuzop.
And my mommy looked and said, don't you
start.
She'd had enough by then.
But the years went by.
Oh, they were friends.
They enjoyed.
The laughter was there, you know, even when
the heart is sorrowful to the unsaved.
But then one day daddy came home, and
he didn't know I was listening, and he
spoke about them, and he said, mommy.
He says, something's going wrong.
I'm worried.
I'm worried about their marriage.
Things are really going, I've seen it coming,
but now I've really seen that things are
bad, mommy.
The strange thing is they're still using the
same words, but the tone has changed.
He said, it's no longer Zuzop, you know,
Zuzop.
Sunshine, you know, honeypot.
Oh, words are meaningless if the tone changes.
How cellar words are, you know, just the
tone.
I want to ask every single person sitting
here today, has the tone changed in the
way you speak to your husband?
The way you speak to your wife?
Has the tenderness gone, sir?
Answer God, every one of you.
Every one of you, answer God.
Has the tenderness gone?
I was in a German home once when
I was a young priest there.
Germans are very different.
I'm sure there are German backgrounds.
Yes, I better be careful.
But let me tell you, Germans are very,
very different.
Get them saved, it's wonderful.
They turn the world upside down.
They're like a Jew when you get a
Jew saved.
It's just too precious.
But a German is a strange thing, you
know.
Forgive me, you Germans.
Oh my, the man must be the man,
you know.
Well, I was in this German home of
this old German man.
And he knew our work and our workers
and our missionaries through the years.
And he said, oh, before you were born,
we had your workers from the mission in
our home.
And I was young and we'd take them
out.
And we won souls.
And he told of all the things.
And he named the names of the different
people through the years that were now old,
many of them dead, from my mission, the
mission I now work in, in Africa.
And after a long time of telling me
all the things and the people he knew,
that I knew as names, or knew as
old people in my mission, who taught me,
that he had known when they were young,
before they were married, in his home over
the years.
And what God did.
He was going on and on.
And then his dear little wife, you know,
I'll never forget her.
She sat there at the table listening for
a long time, and then she dared to
speak.
She said something, you know, just nothing harmful,
just about what he was speaking about, just
added a little.
But I'll never forget the way he looked
at her.
He was just shocked that she opened her
mouth, you know.
Marta!
No!
No, Marta!
Not like that, you know.
So I said, oh my, she didn't do
anything wrong.
She just spoke.
So he went on and on again, you
know, just dominating the conversation.
Then she spoke again in my heart.
And still, oh, you spoke.
This time it wasn't so gracious.
He stood, you know, but his eyes, and
he was, Marta!
Marta!
He was really, you know, have you ever
seen a man like that?
Your wife can't speak, and you're threatened.
By the time she opened her mouth a
third time, I wish I wasn't in that
home.
It was terrifying.
I was living in fear of her opening
her mouth.
He couldn't tolerate it.
But you know, there must have been a
time that that woman once spoke tenderly, that
man once spoke tenderly to that woman.
There must have been a time he respected
her.
He would never have come near the man
had he not once spoken with tenderness.
Paul said these words.
Now, they're staggering words.
I suffer not a woman to speak in
the church.
It's a shame for a woman to speak
in a church.
Let a woman be silent in the church.
Now, those words, you need a whole sermon
in the light of other scriptures to understand
what God is saying.
I'm not going to preach that now, but
I've got a fear that many men interpret
Paul's statements about a woman keeping silent in
the church, and it's a shame for a
woman to speak in the church.
I've got an idea that many men interpreted
that it's a shame for a woman to
open her mouth at home.
It's a shame for a woman to speak,
full stop.
I suffer not a woman to speak.
I've got an idea many men interpret it
like that.
They're so threatened when their wife starts speaking,
you know, they're dominating the whole room.
Suddenly she dares to say something, and you're
so threatened you can't let her have everybody,
so you start some conversation with somebody else.
The moment your wife decides to say something,
so long as she doesn't do what you
do and have everybody, you're threatened by her
opening her mouth.
Does your wife have any chance of survival
as a person with you as her husband?
Do you allow her the right to be
any one of significance, husband?
Do you honor her, or do you defy
God and grieve God and break your children's
hope of even eternal life sometimes?
You're so unchristlike toward her.
Though you say you're saved, I once was
with a very famous preacher, I won't give
you his name, I've stood with many very
famous preachers, and I've been privileged in that
way.
Many whose books you have, and one stood
with me years ago when I was to
be married to Jenny, and he said, so
you're going to marry this girl.
I said, yes, and this very famous preacher
looked at me, would you let me give
you some advice, Keith, about marriage?
I said, yes, sir.
Don't allow yourself to say unkind words, Keith.
You don't have to, boy.
It's the beginning of the end of love
if you allow unkind words into your marriage.
Keep your mouth closed and go from the
room, go for a walk around the whole
block if need be, but talk to God
when there's tension, when there's stress, when there's
the temptation to be unkind through anything she
does wrong that's unreasonable in your eyes.
Don't allow yourself to say unkind words, Keith.
It's the beginning of the end.
You know, as that famous preacher stood and
said those words to me, tears started rolling
down his face, and he put his head
down, and he began to sob, and I
looked trembling at this man, and I wondered,
I wondered about his marriage.
I have an Uncle Roy, he's dead now,
we've named our middle boy Roy after Uncle
Roy.
He was a godly man.
When I was married to Jenny at first,
I was full of jokes, you know.
God had to take the joke out of
me.
God knew how to do that.
He just wiped me down into the dust
so much.
He knows how to take the joke out
of a man.
Oh, brother, joking is not joy.
I hear preachers all over your country.
I hear preachers all over the world today.
They seem to think to stand in the
pulpit is the right place to joke, to
say we got joy.
Brother, joking is not joy.
Stories that are humorous, that are real, that's
not joking, but jokes for the sakes of
jokes.
That's not joy.
You haven't got joy.
Joy is the result of a relationship with
Jesus, brother or sister, not jokes.
God had to take the joke out of
me, but I used to joke as a
boy, just joke upon joke.
Even when I first said, I used to
joke, you know, like the dumb thing.
I must have been such a grief to
God, and I joked one day in front
of Uncle Roy when I joked in the
house towards Jenny, and he stood up and
tears came down his eyes, my godly Uncle
Roy, and he said, stop.
Don't you speak to Jenny like that again
in your life.
I stood up and tears came down my
eyes.
I was so shaken.
I said, but Uncle Roy, I'm joking.
Jenny knows that.
Everyone in this room knows it, Uncle Roy.
I'm joking.
I wouldn't mean it.
This is a joke.
He said, Keith, don't you joke with your
wife like that.
You and Jenny have something very special, my
boy, and I will not let you destroy
it.
Don't even in a joke speak with disrespect
like that.
I said, Uncle Roy, I accept it from
God, and I never did that again.
I led some people to Christ, who later
on went out and gave up their work
and went to work full time with a
very great preacher, a very, very famous preacher,
and one day the years went by, they
came, we went for tea and fell asleep,
and I said, how are things going?
It must be a great joy and privilege
to work with such a man that has
been so used by God.
There was dead silence.
The wife looked down and tears filled his
eyes.
He said, oh Keith, I've never said this,
but I'm going to say it to you.
It is not a privilege to work with
this great preacher.
Do you know why, Keith?
No one that works under him and for
his movement wants to listen to him preach
again.
No one wants to hear his preaching or
let God bless their hearts through his preaching.
Do you know why, Keith?
The way he speaks to his wife, the
way he speaks to his wife, you cannot
accept anything he says from the pulpit.
It becomes obnoxious.
Let me tell you something.
I wonder how many preachers would be forbidden
to ever get back in the pulpit again
once in their life, if one conversation of
the whole was made public in the pulpit,
just once.
I wonder how many preachers would be forbidden
to hold the word of God to man
again in their life, if one conversation ever
was made public of what happened in the
home, sometimes minutes before they preached.
I can tell you how holy a man
is by the way he speaks to his
wife, brethren.
I can tell you how holy a man
is by the way he speaks to his
wife, and let me shock you, so can
your children.