It's better to be safe than sorry.
Never ever rush into your marital relationship.
It's a commitment.
And it requires mature people to commit to
it.
I remember one day, may God bless her
soul, wherever she is, this gorgeous young girl
came running to me, father, crying, she broke
my heart.
She was 16 at the time, crying.
Father, my boyfriend just left me.
I said, oops, oh, I'm so sorry, Habibi.
Why, what happened?
I don't know, father, he woke up one
day, he just sent me a message, he
said, that's it, it's finished between us.
I said, how old are you?
Father, I'm 16.
I said, ow, not wow.
I said, ow.
I said, how long have you known each
other?
She said, father, four years.
I'm not good at mathematics.
I started deducting.
Four minus, 16 minus four.
15, 14, 13.
So you were little baby when you got
to know him.
You were not dummy with milk.
Four years, he broke your heart.
He is now father, mature, 16.
I said, Habibi, that's what happens.
When you choose someone like that so early,
so prematurely, you'll definitely hurt yourself.
There is no two ways about it.
So many people have gone into this kind
of relationships, and they came out of it
broken, hearted and shattered.
The Lord Jesus came to be the groom.
And he said, you know what, I came
to choose my bride.
And he called the bride his church.
My church is my bride.
And it's an enormous commitment.
And it cost him his life.
Like someone said, it is more difficult.
Now listen to this, I like this statement.
Because marriage is dying all your life.
It's not just one moment.
It's every moment, all moments of your life.
You must die to make it happen.
What is death?
No longer in existence.
When somebody dies, passes away, biological death, when
the spirit leaves the body, that person, I
can't see them anymore physically.
They don't exist anymore.
So what is death?
I don't exist anymore.
Biblically speaking, self-denial.
What is death?
Self-denial.
When Jesus died on the cross, he denied
himself so that his bride can be glorified.
So that his bride can be glorified.
There is a verse in the book of
Proverbs.
Now the book of Proverbs is referred to
King Solomon.
It is a book of wisdom.
It teaches you on how to live wise
on earth.
It is the last chapter.
Chapter 31 and verse 10.
Proverbs 31.10 King Solomon says, A virtuous
woman, who can find?
A virtuous woman, who can find?
He's asking.
For her price exceeds the precious pearls.
This verse 10, we can divide into two
parts.
The first part is for the man, and
the second part is for the woman.
King Solomon, through his wisdom, is giving you
an advice on marital relationships.
He is saying to the guy, My man,
when you are looking for a girl to
marry, look for a girl that is virtuous.
Search for a girl that is virtuous.
A virtuous woman, who can find?
Now the word virtuous, take it out and
put the word fear in the Lord.
A girl that is fearing the Lord, her
price exceeds the precious pearls.
Guys, if you are serious, because what you
are about to enter, so called marriage, what
you are about to enter in, is not
a joke, is not a holiday, is not
fun, it is a serious matter.
So you better be serious about it, otherwise
you will get the shock of your life
forever.
So he is saying, when you are looking
for a girl to marry, look for the
girl that loves Jesus Christ.
Fearing the Lord, meaning loving the Lord.
He said, because if you can find a
girl that loves Jesus, do not be afraid
of her.
Because the girl that loves Jesus can never
hurt you.
Because the Jesus that is in her heart,
will make sure she is always loyal and
nice to you.
So don't look for a girl that is
blonde, six foot, Mariah Carey type of figure,
you know Celine Dion, blue eyes, I don't
know what, the best looking, she had just
ironed her face, plastic surgery.
Don't look for that.
If you are looking for an external beauty,
well guess what, after marriage and after having
kids, Ouch!
That external beauty is temporal.
But look for the inner beauty.
Look at her heart.
Who is dwelling in that heart?
That's what matters.
That's what gonna last.
I'm not saying that beauty externally is not
important.
No, I don't want you to marry someone
that every time you wake up you are
startled.
I don't want you to have a heart
attack.
But at the same time, don't make it
your priority for that external beauty to be
a must.
No.
Look for the inner beauty more than the
external.
Because what's inside is forever.
What's outside is only for a short time.
And if you loved her, or if your
love for her was based on her outer
looks, once she loses that, you will lose
your love for her.
Love her for her heart.
For Jesus is in it.
And he's saying to the girl, Girl, when
you're looking for a guy, don't look for
a guy that drives a Mercedes Benz and
has nothing upstairs.
Don't look for the guy that is rich.
Don't look for the guy that is handsome,
muscly, tattoos.
Ouch!
Don't look for outer looks.
Look for a guy that sees you in
his eyes more precious than the pearl.
Look for the guy that sees you in
his eyes more precious than a pearl.
Now, this was in the Old Testament.
Now, when we come to the New Testament,
we find the answer to the Old Testament.
Saint Paul gives an answer to King Solomon.
He said, What is more precious than the
pearl?
He said, One thing only.
And Saint Paul talked about Jesus.
He said, He, meaning Jesus, He who has
purchased us, not with silver, not with gold,
not with precious pearls, but with His own
blood.
So, what is more expensive than pearl?
Blood.
What is blood?
Your life.
He says, Look for a guy that is
willing to put his life on the line
for you.
And look for a girl that loves Jesus.
And look for a guy that is willing
to die for you.
Sacrifice for you.
That's a solid foundation to a successful marriage.
It is more difficult to live a life
of death than to die in one moment.
Oh, by the way, marriage is very well
known to make things worse, not better.
If you think that you are having difficulty
changing your man prior to marriage, don't even
dream about changing him after marriage.
Forget about Khabibi.
If you cannot change the girl prior to
marriage, forget about changing her after marriage.
Because marriage is very well known to make
things worse, not better.
To make things more complex, not simple.
See, before, I was out with my fiance,
my man, and I was with my friends
and we were having a nice social, you
know, time together at this beautiful cafe overlooking
the Darling Hub.
And then, my man decided to say a
joke.
And when he said the joke, all those
hundred people that were sitting there, and nobody
laughed except me.
His Juliet.
And I said, look at my Romeo, so
sweet, he is so beautiful, look at him.
He is like honey.
This joke is so funny.
Nobody laughed.
After marriage, the same man, Romeo, tells you
the joke at home.
And then Juliet says, next time you say
this joke, I will nail you on the
wall.
Marriage changes things.
Prior to marriage, when I used to go
and get my girl from her parents' house,
I'm all dressed up nicely and a nice
rose here.
And I go with a beautiful bunch of
roses in my hand and a beautiful knock
at the door and then the father opens
the door.
He says, yes, my son, what do you
want?
I say, sorry, father, I came just to
take your daughter, my sweetheart, for a nice
drive.
So she will come out and I'm flying
and I'm shaking and I'm all over the
place, I'm lost, confused.
And then I'll go and open the door
for my sweetheart.
Please come on in.
And I slam it like a Rolls Royce,
automatic slamming door.
And then I go on the other side,
before putting the seatbelt on, I say, how
is my love this evening?
Where are we going, honey?
It's a surprise, my love.
I want to surprise you.
So they drive.
After marriage.
Come on, woman, hurry up.
You're always late, as usual.
I've been finished for an hour.
How many hours are you going to look
into that mirror?
Aren't you sick and tired of your face?
And then they come out.
No red carpet.
No roses.
No Mercedes Benz.
Nothing.
He takes off.
After five minutes, his phone rings while he's
driving.
It's his wife on the line.
Honey, you drove without me.
I'm too far now.
I can't come back.
Maybe next time we go out together.
Marriage is known to make things worse.
It's a commitment.
If there is no self-sacrifice, if there
is no dying to oneself every single day,
marriage cannot continue.
You will encounter problems, obstacles, no matter what
you do or what you say.
Because marriage is the thing in life that
you can never master fully.
A time will come, whether you like it
or not, whether you are the husband or
the wife.
This is for both of you.
A time will come, you must say, Okay,
honey, I'm sorry.
You have to.