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It's better to be safe than sorry.

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Never ever rush into your marital relationship.

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It's a commitment.

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And it requires mature people to commit to

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it.

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I remember one day, may God bless her

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soul, wherever she is, this gorgeous young girl

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came running to me, father, crying, she broke

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my heart.

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She was 16 at the time, crying.

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Father, my boyfriend just left me.

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I said, oops, oh, I'm so sorry, Habibi.

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Why, what happened?

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I don't know, father, he woke up one

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day, he just sent me a message, he

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said, that's it, it's finished between us.

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I said, how old are you?

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Father, I'm 16.

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I said, ow, not wow.

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I said, ow.

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I said, how long have you known each

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other?

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She said, father, four years.

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I'm not good at mathematics.

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I started deducting.

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Four minus, 16 minus four.

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15, 14, 13.

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So you were little baby when you got

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to know him.

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You were not dummy with milk.

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Four years, he broke your heart.

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He is now father, mature, 16.

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I said, Habibi, that's what happens.

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When you choose someone like that so early,

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so prematurely, you'll definitely hurt yourself.

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There is no two ways about it.

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So many people have gone into this kind

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of relationships, and they came out of it

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broken, hearted and shattered.

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The Lord Jesus came to be the groom.

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And he said, you know what, I came

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to choose my bride.

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And he called the bride his church.

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My church is my bride.

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And it's an enormous commitment.

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And it cost him his life.

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Like someone said, it is more difficult.

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Now listen to this, I like this statement.

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Because marriage is dying all your life.

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It's not just one moment.

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It's every moment, all moments of your life.

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You must die to make it happen.

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What is death?

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No longer in existence.

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When somebody dies, passes away, biological death, when

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the spirit leaves the body, that person, I

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can't see them anymore physically.

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They don't exist anymore.

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So what is death?

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I don't exist anymore.

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Biblically speaking, self-denial.

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What is death?

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Self-denial.

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When Jesus died on the cross, he denied

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himself so that his bride can be glorified.

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So that his bride can be glorified.

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There is a verse in the book of

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Proverbs.

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Now the book of Proverbs is referred to

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King Solomon.

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It is a book of wisdom.

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It teaches you on how to live wise

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on earth.

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It is the last chapter.

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Chapter 31 and verse 10.

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Proverbs 31.10 King Solomon says, A virtuous

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woman, who can find?

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A virtuous woman, who can find?

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He's asking.

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For her price exceeds the precious pearls.

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For her price exceeds the precious pearls.

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This verse 10, we can divide into two

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parts.

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The first part is for the man, and

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the second part is for the woman.

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King Solomon, through his wisdom, is giving you

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an advice on marital relationships.

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He is saying to the guy, My man,

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when you are looking for a girl to

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marry, look for a girl that is virtuous.

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Search for a girl that is virtuous.

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A virtuous woman, who can find?

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Now the word virtuous, take it out and

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put the word fear in the Lord.

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A girl that is fearing the Lord, her

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price exceeds the precious pearls.

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Guys, if you are serious, because what you

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are about to enter, so called marriage, what

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you are about to enter in, is not

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a joke, is not a holiday, is not

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fun, it is a serious matter.

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So you better be serious about it, otherwise

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you will get the shock of your life

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forever.

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So he is saying, when you are looking

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for a girl to marry, look for the

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girl that loves Jesus Christ.

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Fearing the Lord, meaning loving the Lord.

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He said, because if you can find a

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girl that loves Jesus, do not be afraid

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of her.

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Because the girl that loves Jesus can never

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hurt you.

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Because the Jesus that is in her heart,

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will make sure she is always loyal and

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nice to you.

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So don't look for a girl that is

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blonde, six foot, Mariah Carey type of figure,

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you know Celine Dion, blue eyes, I don't

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know what, the best looking, she had just

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ironed her face, plastic surgery.

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Don't look for that.

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If you are looking for an external beauty,

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well guess what, after marriage and after having

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kids, Ouch!

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That external beauty is temporal.

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But look for the inner beauty.

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Look at her heart.

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Who is dwelling in that heart?

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That's what matters.

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That's what gonna last.

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I'm not saying that beauty externally is not

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important.

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No, I don't want you to marry someone

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that every time you wake up you are

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startled.

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I don't want you to have a heart

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attack.

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But at the same time, don't make it

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your priority for that external beauty to be

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a must.

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No.

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Look for the inner beauty more than the

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external.

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Because what's inside is forever.

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What's outside is only for a short time.

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And if you loved her, or if your

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love for her was based on her outer

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looks, once she loses that, you will lose

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your love for her.

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Love her for her heart.

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For Jesus is in it.

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And he's saying to the girl, Girl, when

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you're looking for a guy, don't look for

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a guy that drives a Mercedes Benz and

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has nothing upstairs.

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Don't look for the guy that is rich.

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Don't look for the guy that is handsome,

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muscly, tattoos.

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Ouch!

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Don't look for outer looks.

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Look for a guy that sees you in

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his eyes more precious than the pearl.

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Look for the guy that sees you in

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his eyes more precious than a pearl.

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Now, this was in the Old Testament.

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Now, when we come to the New Testament,

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we find the answer to the Old Testament.

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Saint Paul gives an answer to King Solomon.

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He said, What is more precious than the

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pearl?

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He said, One thing only.

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And Saint Paul talked about Jesus.

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He said, He, meaning Jesus, He who has

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purchased us, not with silver, not with gold,

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not with precious pearls, but with His own

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blood.

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So, what is more expensive than pearl?

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Blood.

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What is blood?

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Your life.

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He says, Look for a guy that is

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willing to put his life on the line

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for you.

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And look for a girl that loves Jesus.

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And look for a guy that is willing

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to die for you.

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Sacrifice for you.

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That's a solid foundation to a successful marriage.

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It is more difficult to live a life

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of death than to die in one moment.

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Oh, by the way, marriage is very well

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known to make things worse, not better.

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If you think that you are having difficulty

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changing your man prior to marriage, don't even

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dream about changing him after marriage.

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Forget about Khabibi.

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If you cannot change the girl prior to

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marriage, forget about changing her after marriage.

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Because marriage is very well known to make

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things worse, not better.

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To make things more complex, not simple.

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See, before, I was out with my fiance,

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my man, and I was with my friends

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and we were having a nice social, you

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know, time together at this beautiful cafe overlooking

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the Darling Hub.

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And then, my man decided to say a

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joke.

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And when he said the joke, all those

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hundred people that were sitting there, and nobody

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laughed except me.

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His Juliet.

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And I said, look at my Romeo, so

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sweet, he is so beautiful, look at him.

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He is like honey.

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This joke is so funny.

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Nobody laughed.

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After marriage, the same man, Romeo, tells you

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the joke at home.

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And then Juliet says, next time you say

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this joke, I will nail you on the

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wall.

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Marriage changes things.

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Prior to marriage, when I used to go

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and get my girl from her parents' house,

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I'm all dressed up nicely and a nice

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rose here.

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And I go with a beautiful bunch of

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roses in my hand and a beautiful knock

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at the door and then the father opens

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the door.

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He says, yes, my son, what do you

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want?

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I say, sorry, father, I came just to

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take your daughter, my sweetheart, for a nice

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drive.

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So she will come out and I'm flying

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and I'm shaking and I'm all over the

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place, I'm lost, confused.

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And then I'll go and open the door

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for my sweetheart.

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Please come on in.

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And I slam it like a Rolls Royce,

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automatic slamming door.

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00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:37,420
And then I go on the other side,

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before putting the seatbelt on, I say, how

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is my love this evening?

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Where are we going, honey?

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It's a surprise, my love.

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I want to surprise you.

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So they drive.

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After marriage.

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Come on, woman, hurry up.

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You're always late, as usual.

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I've been finished for an hour.

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How many hours are you going to look

258
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:00,740
into that mirror?

259
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Aren't you sick and tired of your face?

260
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And then they come out.

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No red carpet.

262
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No roses.

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No Mercedes Benz.

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Nothing.

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He takes off.

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After five minutes, his phone rings while he's

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driving.

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It's his wife on the line.

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Honey, you drove without me.

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I'm too far now.

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I can't come back.

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Maybe next time we go out together.

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Marriage is known to make things worse.

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It's a commitment.

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If there is no self-sacrifice, if there

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is no dying to oneself every single day,

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marriage cannot continue.

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You will encounter problems, obstacles, no matter what

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you do or what you say.

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Because marriage is the thing in life that

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you can never master fully.

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A time will come, whether you like it

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or not, whether you are the husband or

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the wife.

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This is for both of you.

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A time will come, you must say, Okay,

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honey, I'm sorry.

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You have to.