Let's just look to the Lord in prayer
before we begin.
Our Heavenly Father, every good and perfect gift
comes from You.
And there is nothing we can produce that
will ever be good or perfect.
We pray that Your presence by Your Spirit
will be here.
You will speak to us according to our
need this evening.
There are needs here which are known and
unknown.
We pray You will speak to all of
our hearts.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
I want to show you something very interesting
in the very first page of the Bible.
Now, if you are a Christian, I am
sure you would have read the first chapter
of the Bible.
Even if you didn't go very far in
the Bible, you would have read the first
chapter about how God made the heavens and
earth.
He created the heavens and earth and then
over a period of six days He remade
it when it was spoiled.
And the thing we notice here is, God
is Almighty and of course He could have
with a snap of His fingers done everything
in a moment.
But He is a God of order and
there was a reason why He did that
making of the earth and heaven in over
a period of six days.
It is from that creation and the seventh
day of rest that we have our week
where we have one day of rest in
seven.
But what I want to point out to
you is, every day God made something and
then He examined it.
The first day it says He made light
and He said it was good.
And then the next day He made something
else and the next day He made something
else.
And He kept on saying it's good, it's
good, it's good, it's good, it's good all
the way up to the fifth day.
And then on the sixth day God suddenly
says not good.
Have you noticed that?
Five days He says good, good, good, good,
good and then suddenly He says not good.
What was that?
That was when a man was single and
Adam was all alone.
He first made Adam and then He said
it's not good for man to be alone.
That was on the sixth day.
You read of it in Genesis 2.18.
He said it's not good.
So it's something like a teacher correcting an
answer paper and saying tick, tick, tick, tick
and then a cross.
It's wrong.
Something is missing here.
Then we read that God made a wife
for Adam and brought her to Adam and
united them.
And then He said very good.
It's not just good.
So you got to see the progression there
in Genesis chapter 1.
It's very interesting to see it.
Good, good, good, good, good, not good and
then very good.
What was it that was not good when
a man didn't have a wife?
And what was it that solved that problem
and made it very good when he got
a wife?
Do you feel like that about the wife
you have?
Anyway, even if you don't, I want to
say that's what God wants it to be
like.
And that's what we see in the first
chapter of the Bible.
He wants your marriage not just to be
good when all the rest of the world
is good.
He wants your marriage to be very good.
Then how is it that when you look
at a lot of marriages today, and even
a lot of so-called Christian marriages, we
have to say, not good, not at all
good.
It's a pretty pathetic situation.
I mean, I've been in Christian work for
nearly 40 years and I've had the occasion
to counsel and talk to a lot of
Christian families.
And I tell you some terrible things that
go on in so-called Christian homes.
You don't hear much of it outside because
everybody is very pleasant.
When I go to church, they look so
holy.
But if you only could see what goes
on in their home, it's not good.
And what I want to say is, you've
got to believe that that is not God's
will.
You know, once you accept that, oh well,
that's normal.
That's how everybody else is.
Well then, it's never going to change.
Once you accept that state of affairs as
normal, it'll never change.
But if you can come to the first
chapter of the Bible and say, well, that's
not supposed to be how my married life
should be.
That's not the way God intended it.
You know, just like if you buy an
expensive product and the instruction book says it's
supposed to work like this.
You have that problem sometimes with computers.
You get a computer with a very fast
processor and then it's working so slowly.
It takes such a long time to load
a program.
And you say, hey, something's wrong.
That's not the way such an Intel Pentium
4 is supposed to work.
And you call the person who fixed it
and say, there's something wrong here because it's
slow, it's crashing so often, and something's wrong.
You wouldn't, I mean, if you're a person
who is using your computer everyday, you'd want
it fixed immediately.
Why aren't you so eager to fix your
marriage, which is so sluggish, crashes so often,
just like the computer?
And something better than an Intel 4 processor
you have, that God gave you, something which
God himself, in the original model, he said,
very good.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
And the man who fixes the computer comes
along and says, hey, you went and did
something wrong here, that's why you messed it
all up.
But never mind, we can fix it.
There's a guarantee on it.
And the wonderful thing about marriage is, God
gives you not a one year guarantee, a
lifelong guarantee.
He said, come back to me, I'll fix
it up anytime.
That's not the way it's supposed to work.
Your computer is not supposed to crash every
so often.
No!
What do you think of a man who
accepts his marriage crashing everyday with explosions and
all types of things?
No.
There's a virus.
You gotta get rid of it.
That's the only way.
And that's the solution the Bible gives.
You can have a marriage, which, when it's
examined down to the deepest detail, inside your
home, the way it works in your home,
that Almighty God Himself can certify it's very
good.
See, man certifying that your marriage is good
means nothing, because they don't know your marriage.
I mean, think of the people who know
you best.
How much do they know of your marriage?
I mean, whenever they come to visit you
in your home, you're always on your best
behavior.
They don't know what really happens there when
they're not there.
But Almighty God, think if He can certify,
very good, one who examines every area of
a married life, think what a wonderful marriage
that is.
So the very first thing which I wanted
to establish in your mind is, this computer
is not supposed to work so slow.
It's not supposed to crash.
The original model which God made, was God
certified it's very good.
It's certified, examined, it's supposed to be, work
much better.
So what am I saying?
Therefore, don't accept that substandard marriage that you
have right now.
Don't accept it.
Right from the beginning of your married life,
God wants your marriage to be very good.
He doesn't want it to be not good.
He wants it to be very good.
So, I wish I could convince you about
that, because once you're convinced about that, then
you really seek for it.
Otherwise, you know, think of a fellow who's
ignorant of computers, who's already seen as the
old, what they used to call PCs, which
works so slow, and then he expects the
same speed, here on this Intel Pentium 4.
And somebody says, Hey listen, this is not
supposed to work like those old models.
This is supposed to be very fast.
It's supposed to be very good.
That's what I want to say about your
marriage.
It's not supposed to be like all those
marriages that you see in the world around
you.
It's supposed to be very good.
If you can be established in this one
truth, that God designed married life to be
excellent, to be very happy.
God is the designer and producer of happiness.
Everything he does is to make us happier
and better people.
The Bible says that God sends only good
and perfect gifts.
Marriage is a gift from God.
And God wants our marriage to be supremely
happy.
When Jesus spoke about marriage once, he was
talking to some people who asked him about
divorce.
You know, I mean in western countries, you
know divorce is very common.
They say it's almost 50% of marriages
end in divorce.
And the sad thing is, even in Christian
churches, the average is the same.
50%.
Which proves that these fellows haven't got real
Christianity.
How can real Christianity make our marriages as
hopeless as the marriages in the world?
There is something wrong there.
Something fundamentally wrong.
So, in Matthew 19 we read that Pharisees
came to Jesus and asked him, is it
right to divorce your wife?
And Jesus said, no, not at all.
I mean, he said in the Old Testament,
Moses permitted it, because you fellows, your hearts
were so hard, if you didn't divorce your
wife, you would have hammered her and killed
her.
So God said, okay, please divorce her.
But that's not God's original plan, Jesus said.
If you go back to the beginning, which
is Genesis 1 and 2, that's what Jesus
said there.
In the beginning, that was not God's will.
You read that in the first few verses
of Matthew 19.
He said, in the beginning, God made them
male and female, and he wanted them to
be one.
And there is a beautiful expression, he uses
here in verse 5, that two shall become
one.
If you want a description of marriage, here
is it, in the words of Jesus himself.
Two shall become one.
Now that's God's standard.
You know, I have, recently they were celebrating
the 50th anniversary of climbing Mount Everest.
I was a young boy in Delhi, in
school, when I read one day in the
papers that these fellows, Hillary and Tenzing, had
climbed Mount Everest.
It was 1953.
I was just about 13 years old.
You know, that was a mountain that had
challenged so many people.
So many people had tried and died, and
people had tried to go up, and they
never reached the top and came back.
And one day, they succeeded.
And once they succeeded, I mean, in the
last 50 years, so many people, there are
people who are paraplegics, who can't walk, got
artificial limbs to climb Mount Everest.
It's amazing.
From all types of angles, from difficult angles
and all, they climbed it.
Because there was a tremendous passion in man
to conquer this mountain.
That's what drove them, even though so many
people tried, didn't succeed.
It was the same with the conquest of
space.
You know, I mean, people thought it was
all science fiction.
In our school days, when people talked about
going to the moon.
But I remember the day my first son
was born.
We read in the papers, man had landed
on the moon, we'll never forget that day.
And it was an amazing thing, that which
looked like science fiction, which you've gone back
to people in 1960.
Even in 1960, nine years before they landed
on the moon, it was difficult.
But they did it.
You know, man's drive took him to the
moon.
It's been like that.
They tried, they failed, they tried, they failed,
they got finally to land on the moon.
It's been the same in many areas.
And I want to say to you, they
did all of that without, they didn't pray
to God, or ask God's help, or any
such thing.
It was just human intelligence, and science and
technology, we did all that.
Now here, we're trying to climb another mountain.
That's a marriage, where two have to become
one.
Think of that as a Mount Everest.
Think of that as a space challenge.
And here's something where God has promised, you
can do it.
And here's something where God says, I'll help
you.
How many of you really want to climb
this mountain?
How many of you really want to reach
the top, even if it takes time to
get there?
Say, Lord, our marriage has been pretty unhappy
till now.
It's not been what it should be.
You know, I find that the first step
in any of our dealings with God, whether
it relates to our personal life, or to
our married life, the first step is to
acknowledge our failure.
If you can acknowledge failure, that's a very,
very big step.
And those of you who are married sitting
here, you know, that that is one of
the most difficult things for a man or
a woman to do.
To say, that was my mistake.
I'm sorry.
Do you know those six words, that was
my mistake, I'm sorry, are some of the
most difficult words to produce from our mouth.
You try it, if you don't believe me.
Some of the most difficult words for us
to say are these words, that was my
mistake.
You know, like we teach children, Baba black
sheep, we got to teach parents, say it
with me, that was my mistake, I'm sorry.
You'll forget it, by tomorrow you'll forget it.
Very difficult rhyme to learn.
But it can change your life.
To acknowledge, that was my mistake, I'm sorry.
You who are married for some years, you
know how difficult it is.
Something has happened, and you always think it's
the other person.
But that didn't begin with you.
It began with Adam and Eve.
It's very interesting, that this wonderful marriage, over
which God certified very good, couple of days
later, it was a different story, it was
not good, at all, it was very bad.
Very good, two days later, very bad.
On the sixth day, very good.
Two days later, on the eighth day, very
bad.
How did it happen?
Because they disobeyed the maker's instructions.
Just like, we have all disobeyed the maker's
instructions, in our married life.
The end result is, where we are today.
And then, what I was coming to was,
that when God came to Adam, and asked
him, if I were to paraphrase his words,
did you disobey my instructions?
And, you know, it's like you call the
computer chap, and he says, listen, did you
follow the instructions booklet?
You say, well, no, my wife came and
did something here, and I don't know what
happened.
That's exactly what Adam said.
My wife, she doesn't know anything, she just
came and messed up this whole thing, and
that's why we are in the mess today.
Adam said that actually to God, as if
he could fool God.
As if he could fool God.
He said, my wife.
So this business of putting the blame, on
others, started way back with our first parents.
And that's one of the first lessons we
want to learn, in marriage.
To finish with that old, filthy habit, which
we have all acquired from Adam, of putting
the blame on the other person.
That's why I said like Baba Blacksheep, we
got to learn, that was, you remember the
rhyme?
That was, my mistake, I am sorry.
Learn it.
Repeat it again, that was my mistake, I
am sorry.
Even single people, you try saying it, it's
pretty tough.
It's tough for single people as well.
But you learn it when you are single,
it will be much easier to sing it
when you are married.
I tell you, it's a good rhyme.
It's changed your life.
Very important to learn these six words.
Some of the toughest words to learn.
But if you learn it, say it from
your heart, it can change your life.
Adam couldn't say it.
All he had to say was, God, when
God said to him, he said, that was
my mistake, I am sorry.
He didn't say it.
And think of the number of times, can
you think of some of you who are
married for so many years, when something went
wrong in your relationship, how many of you
said that?
You know why I say, it's a difficult
rhyme to learn.
Immediately, we begin to justify ourselves.
And, even if 90% of the fault
is with us, we pick on that 10%,
which the other person did, and say, but,
you did this.
And you know in the depth of your
heart, that was only 10%, but you pick
on that.
Because, you don't want to take the blame.
I want to say to you, my dear
friends, brothers and sisters, that, if you are
unwilling to get rid of that habit, I
can't predict, that you are going to have
a happy marriage.
And I want to say, it's not such
a humiliating thing, to say that was my
mistake.
I am sorry.
Because, I want to tell you something.
There is only one person, not on earth,
but in the universe, who never makes a
mistake.
You know who that is?
That's God.
So if you are in the same category,
well, you know what you think you are.
I have no problem saying that was my
mistake, because when I say that, all I
am saying is, fellas, I am not God.
Got it?
That's all I am saying.
Is that a very humiliating thing?
Supposing I put that same rhyme in other
words, easier words, let's start with easier words.
Can you say, I am not God.
That's easy, isn't it?
Very easy.
That's an easy rhyme to pick up.
I am not God.
But this is the same thing.
Second verse.
First verse is, I am not God.
Second verse, that was my mistake, I am
sorry.
It's the same thing.
Why can't you sing the second verse?
Because all you are saying, when you say
that is, I am not God.
God is the only one who doesn't make
mistakes.
Yeah, I know I have been married 30
years, but I made a mistake, I am
sorry.
I mean, don't say it in that tone.
Say it now.
Tone is very important.
You can say, I made a mistake, I
am sorry.
Nobody will believe you if you say it
now.
Say it like you sing the hymns, I
made a mistake, I am sorry.
And you mean it.
But that's so important, to acknowledge failure.
Do you know that Jesus first did a
miracle at a wedding?
Isn't that wonderful to read that in the
Bible?
That the first thing you read in the
Bible in Genesis 1 is a wedding.
And then you come to the New Testament
and the first miracle that Jesus does is
at a wedding.
That's pretty good.
That means God must be very very interested
in marriages.
That the Old Testament and the New Testament
begin with a wedding.
And the first miracle that Jesus did was
in a wedding ceremony where they ran out
of wine.
That was in those days.
I mean today, the equivalent of your chicken
biryani in today's wedding is the wine there,
in those days.
Imagine if your chicken biryani ran short and
all the fellows are standing in the queue
and nothing left.
Can you imagine how embarrassed you will feel?
That's exactly how they felt.
They ran out of wine.
Thank God Jesus was there.
See that wine in the New Testament is
a picture of a very happy life.
In the Old Testament, there is a verse
which says wine to make the heart of
man glad.
So fullness of wine is a picture of
a very happy marriage.
And when the wine runs out, it's a
picture of a marriage where all the joy
has gone.
The marriage is still there.
We don't divorce in India because not because
we are happier but because society frowns on
it and it's difficult for a woman to
go and find a job on her own
and find a house on her own and
if she goes back to her parents, in
many cases the parents say hey we can't
feed another mouth, go back to your husband,
adjust and get along.
So just because there are no divorces here
doesn't mean our marriages are any happier than
in the western countries.
No.
The joy has gone out of the marriage.
And what I wanted to point out is
that when that happened, you know how the
problem was solved?
We said Jesus solved the problem.
But when did he do it?
He did it when somebody came to him
and said they have no wine.
The wine has run out.
You see the same principle?
We have failed.
The joy has gone out of our married
life.
It was the acknowledgement of failure instead of
pretending oh yeah, yeah, there is plenty of
biryani, it's just around the corner, it's coming,
just hang on.
It's not there, it's all finished.
To acknowledge failure.
You know, as human beings, we are all
basically good actors.
We are very good actors.
We want to act happy, come to church,
we act holy.
And a lot of people when they become
Christians, they become better actors than they were
before.
Because now they got to act super holy
and better than everybody else and they become
top class hypocrites.
It was like that in Jesus' time too.
You know the worst people in Jesus' time
were the people who went to church every
Saturday those days, the synagogue.
They were the worst people of all.
Jesus was in a running battle with them
all the time because they were the biggest
humbugs and hypocrites and what was their problem
with them?
They were unwilling to acknowledge their failure, that's
all.
And there were other terrible people in those
days in Jesus' time.
There was a woman caught in adultery.
Jesus said, Oh, I forgive you because what
did she have?
She acknowledged her need.
Lord, I have no mind.
I'm an adulterous woman.
Oh, you acknowledge your need?
Okay, you're forgiven.
And the other side, standing on the other
side were all these holy, so-called holy
people who would not acknowledge their need.
And Jesus was always finding these two groups
of people.
A group of religious hypocrites who would not
acknowledge their failures and their need, who would
not say, that was my mistake, I'm sorry.
And then on the other side, there were
these people whom the religious people looked down
upon.
In fact, there was a prostitute among that
crowd.
Her name was Mary Magdalene.
I think she was a prostitute.
Anyway, she had seven demons.
She was a terrible woman.
And Jesus cast out the demons, forgave her
sin.
And she became a great saint.
Saint Mary Magdalene.
Imagine what God, what Jesus can do with
people.
How did she manage that?
Because she did not pretend to be a
holy person.
She said, well Lord, I'm just a sinful
woman.
That's all I am.
I'm demon possessed too.
If you can help me, help me.
That's what they did in that first marriage.
They came and said, we have no wine.
No problem.
He solved it.
So I want to say to you, my
dear brothers and sisters.
When you fail, acknowledge it.
And the Lord will solve your problem.
God can solve every problem.
I'm telling you the truth.
I've been a Christian for 44 years.
And I've experienced the truth of this verse.
Of this fact.
That God can solve every problem.
I'm not putting a sales pitch here.
For something I'm trying to sell.
I'm telling you the truth.
It's absolutely true.
There are going to be problems.
But God can solve them.
In fact, all the miracles that Jesus did
was just to highlight this fact.
That God can solve every problem.
You know, when they were going in a
boat.
And the waves, and the storm came.
And the waves came into their boat.
And Jesus stilled that storm.
They said, don't you care that we're going
to perish?
He said, of course I care.
You're not going to perish.
Don't worry.
Every miracle He did.
You know, we think nowadays of the difficulty
of trying to make both ends meet.
Whether our income can meet our needs.
They came across such situation in Jesus' time
too.
They had 5 loaves and 2 fish, one
boy.
And they had 10,000 people out there.
5,000 men plus a number of women
and children.
How can you feed 10,000 people with
5 loaves and 2 fish?
Jesus said, give it to me.
He could solve that problem too.
Can Jesus help us to make ends meet
with our limited income?
Yes.
That's the message in that parable.
You don't have to get into debt.
He didn't send His disciples, say, go and
find some businessmen who can lend you some
money.
And go and find some shops that are
open.
And borrow, borrow, and then spend the next
50 years repaying your debt.
He didn't tell them all that.
He said, I can help you meet your
need without your getting into debt ever.
But you've got to acknowledge your need first.
There's no food Lord.
We've just got this much.
My income is this much.
5 loaves and 2 fish.
My needs are 10,000 people.
You say, impossible.
Not with God.
That's the message of all the Gospels.
When you read the Gospels, read it like
that.
That's the message God has for your marriage.
But always the first step.
You know, I like those instances where a
blind man would come to Jesus.
And Jesus says, what do you want me
to do for you?
Even a stupid fellow like me knows what
he wants.
Why does Jesus have to ask him?
If I were there, I would say, Lord,
I can tell you he wants his eyes
open.
Why in the world does Jesus have to
ask that question?
You know why?
Because he even wanted that blind guy to
acknowledge his need.
That's the reason.
It's not because Jesus didn't know.
Of course he knew.
The Bible says Jesus even knew what was
going on in people's hearts.
When they were thinking, he knew.
Leave alone, when you see a blind man
coming to you, everybody knows what he has
come for.
But why did he ask him, what do
you want me to do for you?
And the fellow had to open his mouth
and say, I'm blind.
I want my eyes open.
And the Lord comes to you today and
say, what do you want me to do
for you?
And you say, Lord, the wine has run
out.
It's a storm here in my home.
Can you still it?
I say, sure.
Acknowledge your need and believe that he is
almighty.
You know, that's why I started with Genesis
1.
God's standard.
This is the way your computer is supposed
to run.
But it's running at such a slow speed.
Something is wrong.
It's not the way it's supposed to run.
It's not the way your marriage should be.
Have faith that God will help you to
come to the top of that Mount Everest.
Come help you to reach that standard.
Which standard?
Not the standard of a good Christian home.
Sometimes, you know, you see a very happy
couple.
And you begin to think, Oh, I wish
our marriage could be like that.
Don't aim for these little hills.
Okay?
Aim for Mount Everest.
That little happy marriage that you see is
a little hill.
You can go higher than that.
But you must have faith.
Imagine these fellows went to the moon.
Believed that they could do it.
You think any guy would get into that
space rocket if he had some doubt whether
this is going to reach the moon or
not.
He was absolutely sure.
We are going to go to the moon.
And not only that, he told his family,
we are going to come back.
Otherwise, I doubt any of them.
You think anybody would take a one-way
trip to the moon?
However exciting it may be and however much
your photos may be flashed on the earth.
I'm sure nobody wants a one-way trip
to the moon.
They were absolutely sure they'd come back.
They had faith and they got in.
Can't you believe that Almighty God and all
that He said in His word can change
your marriage however much it may be on
the rocks to like a ship that's hit
the rocks and broken that He can fix
it all up and get you sailing on
the sea of life once again.
It's not a ship really, it's a small
boat actually.
You know the old fishermen in Europe had
a little prayer that they used to pray
when they used to go out in their
little boats in the early days when they
didn't have outboard motors and dissolve sails and
oars years ago.
Their prayer was, Oh God, the sea is
so great, our boats are so small, please
help us.
That is the prayer of those fishermen.
Oh God, the sea is so great, our
boats are so small, please help us.
You know the world is something like that.
Such a huge world with so many problems.
It's like a vast ocean with a future
that's unknown.
It's a vast ocean and you and your
wife and your children are in a small
little boat trying to go in this ocean.
You don't know where the storm is going
to come from.
Your only help is God.
I thought of that in relation to the
world in which we live.
There is a song we sing, Because he
lives, I can face tomorrow.
One verse of that song says, How good
to hold a little baby in your hand,
to see the joy it brings into your
heart and then to think, I'm expanding on
the words of that song, that this baby
has to grow up in a world full
of bombs and missiles and terrorists and traffic
accidents and evil.
You'll be dead and gone and your child
is growing up in this world.
It goes on to say, How good to
know that you can commit your child to
Jesus and because he lives, we can face
tomorrow and because he lives, my child can
face tomorrow even after I'm dead and gone.
You see, it's wonderful.
That's the hope we have.
God can solve every problem.
But you've got to have faith because he
lives, because Jesus Christ has conquered death.
Because I see in God's word that God's
plan for me is to have a happy
marriage.
He can do it for me.
So we've seen acknowledging our need is number
one.
And then we saw faith.
Faith means you've got to believe.
Like these fellows believed they could conquer Mount
Everest.
And these folks believed that they could go
to the moon and come back.
Now, we have a much stronger faith than
that.
Because you know that some of those folks
who went up to space even recently, never
came back.
There was that Indian lady among them.
Never came back.
They thought they'd come back.
But technology failed.
And that happened even once before.
When the challenge of spacecraft went up some
years ago.
Never came back.
They hardly took off before they all got
burnt up.
But here, we have a promise in scripture.
Where almighty God himself has promised to support
us.
Acknowledge your need.
Believe that it is God's will to make
your life extremely happy.
And I want to show you a verse
in 1 Peter which speaks about married couples.
And there's a phrase there which I want
to take out from there.
In the first letter of Peter chapter 3
in verse 7.
It's addressed to husbands but you can also
apply it to wives.
The phrase in verse 7 is in the
middle of that verse Live in an understanding
way with your partner.
Live in an understanding way with your partner.
Husbands with your wives, that's what's mentioned here.
But we could reverse that.
Wives, live in an understanding way with your
husbands.
Take that as a little motto when you
go away from here.
Live in an understanding way.
And you know that understanding about any subject
takes time.
You can teach yourself.
I taught myself to use computers.
But it took time to understand.
You know, children go to school and they
take years to understand chemistry or physics or
biology.
I mean, child takes a long time to
learn long division.
I mean, you folks can do division easily
now.
You know your multiplication table.
But think of your children how they are
struggling with something that you already know.
They have to understand it.
And it's the same way in married life.
Now think if your child never goes to
school.
There's no interest in understanding multiplication and division.
You think it will ever understand multiplication and
division?
No, not at all.
You got to make an effort.
There's absolutely nothing in life that you can
learn without making an effort.
If some of you are doing well in
your professions today.
Many of you are college graduates.
Did you get your degree without any effort?
And after you got your degree what about
your profession what you are engaged in now?
Did you learn that without any effort?
You got a new job and you tried
your best to learn your profession.
Even if you are in business you have
to learn the secrets of business.
So in everything there's understanding but when it
comes to marriage I find that very few
husbands seeks to understand their wives.
They say, hey we got married, that's it.
Oh, very few wives seek to understand their
husbands.
And no wonder there are problems.
Think if your child said Oh, I got
admission into school, that's it.
Now I know addition, subtraction, division.
You don't know anything, my little boy.
You just got admission in school, you don't
know a thing.
You got to work hard if you want
to learn addition, subtraction, multiplication, division square root,
calculus, all the way.
You got to learn.
You got to apply your mind.
Why is it in every area we are
willing to understand we know it takes time
to understand we make an effort to understand
Why is it many of you in your
jobs have worked so hard to understand your
profession and that's why you are doing so
well.
And that's why you are making money.
Think if you didn't care to understand your
profession where would you be today?
You'd be a failure in life.
Now do you understand the reason for failure
in marriage?
Live in an understanding way.
Seek to understand.
The Bible says, seek to understand.
Say, Lord, please help me to understand my
wife.
And your wives say, please Lord, please help
me to understand my husband.
Please help me to understand the laws of
marriage.
You didn't need to, you couldn't learn that
when you were single.
I mean, single is all theory.
See, basically you need to understand that from
the time Adam and Eve sinned and the
very first thing Adam did was blame his
wife.
Why was it the very first thing he
did?
I mean, who gave him this bright idea
to blame his wife?
I'm sure it was the devil.
When God came to him and said, did
you do it as Satan whispered in his
ear?
Hey, put the blame on your wife.
He did it.
And the wife put the blame on the
serpent.
So, from that day, a poison has entered
into our system which is the cause of
all the problems in our married life.
This poison.
And Jesus came to remove that poison.
He came to deliver us from it.
Not only to forgive our past failure, I
want to tell you the good news is
that even if you made a mess of
your married life, you need two things.
One, you need forgiveness from God for all
the wrong things you did in your past
and you need to forgive one another also,
husband and wife.
The second thing is, I mean, forgiveness alone
doesn't solve the problem.
It's like your child, putting a child wets
the bed.
All children do when they are born.
But, don't you hope that one day your
child will stop wetting the bed and dirtying
the diapers, napkins.
Sure, every parent is looking forward to the
day when you can remove the diapers.
I want to tell you, God is also
looking forward to the day when he can
remove the diapers from his children who are
always dirtying it every day.
Good thing.
When are we going to grow up?
Of course, when the child wets the bed,
you can change the sheets.
Wets it again, you can change the sheets.
It's now 15 years old, still wetting the
bed, you change the sheets.
When is it going to grow up?
You've been married 15 years and you yell
at each other and dirty your napkins.
Okay, change it.
When are you going to grow up?
It's the same question.
God can help you.
In the early years of married life, the
fact that we have disagreements, rubs and explosions
is probably as normal as a child wetting
a bed.
But I want to tell you that just
like you don't expect your child to keep
on wetting that bed forever, your marriage is
not supposed to continue like that forever.
You got to learn to stop wetting your
bed, wetting your marriage bed with fights and
quarrels and God can help you.
But we got to recognize this poison inside
which makes us selfish.
The biggest, the root cause of all sin
is selfishness.
Let me paint a picture here of a
tree.
Get the picture of this tree.
This tree is called sin.
Okay.
And the roots, you dig up and examine
the roots.
The roots are selfishness.
From those roots come this massive tree that
through the years becomes a solid tree full
of sin with all the bad fruit it
brings out of bad words and bad actions
and bad thoughts and bad attitudes and all
types of things.
Now how do you get rid of it?
I told you first you got to say,
I'm sorry I made a mistake.
But that doesn't solve the problem.
Because that only deals with what has already
been done.
But are you going to keep on doing
it forever?
See we have two problems.
One is the past and one is the
future.
In the past we've already made so many
mistakes and we need forgiveness.
But we also need help for the future
that we're not going to wet the bed
again.
We're not going to keep on doing this
thing forever and ever.
And for that the Bible says Jesus came
to lay the axe to the root.
You read that in Matthew chapter 3.
Jesus came to lay the axe to the
root.
In the Old Testament Moses came with a
pair of scissors and just cut off all
the bad fruit.
Looks a nice tree now without all the
bad fruit.
That's what the law did.
Okay, don't commit murder.
Don't commit adultery and don't steal.
Don't bear false witness and cut off all
the fruit.
But the root is still there and again
it comes out.
You've got to keep going around with your
scissors all the time.
And they went around with those scissors called
the law for 1500 years and it never
solved the problem.
Because the root was still there.
And then John the Baptist came in Matthew
chapter 3 and he said now Jesus has
come with not a scissors he's come with
an axe.
And he's going to lay the axe to
the root of self-centered selfishness in your
life and then you'll find this problem of
bad fruit is solved.
Do you know that that's what Jesus has
come to do?
He's come to deal with this self-centered
selfish life.
Now when you were single you could handle
this self-centered life because I mean you
know how it is when you're a single
person.
Supposing you're working, you're fellowshipping with somebody and
that fellow is a problem.
You can leave him and go and find
somebody else.
And then if everybody, you had a tough
day in the world and everybody is causing
problem for you, you can go back to
your room at night and at last you're
alone.
But now you're married and when you go
back to your room at night there's somebody
else there whom you can't escape from.
And she's also a selfish person just like
you.
And here are two selfish people now trying
to live together in the same home.
And can you imagine the problems unless the
Lord comes and does something about this.
And if you can acknowledge this and say,
Lord all the problems have come out of
my selfish thinking only about my convenience, my
feelings, the way I was brought up in
my home, the way we've always done it
in our home is like this.
And I don't want to yield to another
person who's always done it another way and
who's always brought up in their home another
way.
Then comes the conflicts.
And spending money, how we spend our time,
so many things.
I want to say to you my dear
brothers and sisters, married couples, the most important
thing in your home, please remember this, is
that both of you are happy and glad
in Jesus Christ.
The most important thing in your home is
not to give other people an impression, but
that it must be real.
The most important thing is not just every
room in your house must be neat and
you can have good food.
Those are not the most important things.
The most important thing is happiness between husband
and wife.
I remember a story that I've often quoted
of a very God-fearing couple that I
knew, dead and gone now, very elderly couple,
where the husband was a very orderly type
of man.
You know how some people are, everything is
orderly, everything is arranged neatly and the tables
are always neat and they always put their
shoes in the proper place and they hang
their clothes in the proper place.
There are a few people in the world
like that, believe it or not.
There are a few people like that who
are like that.
And then the wife was exactly the opposite.
Here and there and it's really exciting when
two such people get married, you know.
A lot of opportunity for taking up the
cross and denying oneself.
So this brother, it's one particular thing I
remember, I heard, he would go to the
kitchen to help his wife wash up, you
know one of those things which we Indian
husbands don't do, but they do that in
the West.
They help their wives to wash up in
the kitchen and put the plates and spoons
and all in the right place.
And being this disorderly type of wife, her
kitchen was a mess.
Plates, spoons, forks, all sort of haphazard.
And here's this orderly husband doing the washing
up one day when his wife was not
well.
And he sees all this and look at
the wisdom of this man.
That's what I want you to see, the
wisdom of this man.
He cleans up all the plates and forks
and knives and all and puts it in
the same disorderly way that it was there.
The chaotic, completely contrary to his nature, chaotic.
You know why?
I'll tell you the reason and you'll see
the wisdom of this man.
He said, if I arrange this kitchen and
make it perfect, my wife will come and
say, boy, I can never do it like
this, like my husband does and she'll get
more discouraged.
I don't want my wife to be discouraged.
I don't care if the kitchen is chaos,
I want a happy marriage.
He was a wise man.
What does it matter if in your kitchen
the plates are here and the forks are
there and all is a big mess, if
you have a happy marriage.
Far better than somebody who's got everything lined
up neatly and they are fighting with each
other.
That was wisdom.
That he didn't want to do something that
would make his wife feel small compared to
him.
That is living in an understanding way.
To think, how will she feel if I
do it like this.
As I said, we don't start like that.
We usually start with expressing our opinion pretty
openly and giving people not just a piece
of our mind but whole mind.
We give to people and she gives her
whole mind to us.
That's how we start.
Then as we grow the pieces become smaller
and smaller.
And the day will come when we begin
to think a little more of what the
other person is thinking and okay, I want
a happy marriage.
I don't want a neat and tidy home.
If you can have a happy marriage and
a neat and tidy home, praise the Lord,
have it.
But if you have a choice between the
two, my dear brothers and sisters, don't be
fools.
Choose a happy marriage.
What's a neat and tidy home for?
To show other people.
What's a happy marriage for?
It's the best thing in the world.
The computer is working perfectly now.
It's working faster than what even the company
said it would work.
Think of that.
Think that you can have a marriage like
that.
If you are willing to just say, Lord,
like my child studies chemistry, physics, biology, help
me also to understand this thing called marriage.
To let Jesus be Lord of my life.
See, that's why it's very important.
Let me conclude with this.
You know, this book, as I told you,
the first Old Testament begins with the marriage,
New Testament begins with the marriage.
There is no book in the world, if
you want a marriage guidance book, here it
is.
You follow the rules in this book, you'll
have a perfect marriage.
You'll reach the top of Mount Everest, you'll
reach the moon, you'll reach heaven!
Not only the moon.
And not only that, heaven will come down
into your home.
You'll have two heavens.
One here on earth and one after you
die.
That's the message of the gospel, that if
you obey these words, your home can be
like a little foretaste of heaven.
And if you don't obey it, it'll be
a foretaste of hell.
Then you have two hells.
One now and one later on.
So you can have a choice.
I think a lot of people have two
hells or two heavens.
Very few people have two heavens, but you
can have it.
If you follow the rules and say, Lord,
I want to...
I mean, will some of you follow some
of these two, three simple principles I said?
First of all, acknowledge your need, learn that
rhyme.
Remember it or you've forgotten it already?
It was my mistake, I'm sorry.
And believe.
Faith, very important.
You know, in the New Testament, Jesus said,
Believe that God wants you to have a
very good married life.
To work at it, like these fellas climb
Mount Everest, like the fellas reach the moon.
You're gonna reach the top of this wonderful
life where God can look at your marriage
and say, Very good!
And then, this last thing I said, in
order to help you reach there, say, Lord,
help me to understand.
Help me to understand my wife.
Help me to understand my husband.
Please give me the power of your Holy
Spirit.
Please forgive my sins.
Let Jesus come and be Lord not only
of your life, but of your home.
You know, let this book, let the word
of God guide you and your wife, you
and your husband in the way you run
your home.
And if some of you, maybe your husbands
are not interested in it, or your wives
are not interested, never mind.
You work at it.
And show that it works.
You know, there's nothing like demonstration.
We don't want to be preachers.
I say, if it doesn't work, don't preach
it.
The trouble with a lot of Christianity is
a lot of people are preaching something and
people are turned off from it because they
say, I mean, look at these fellas' lives,
it doesn't work.
I mean, supposing I were selling, this oil
is guaranteed to restore hair on your head.
Guaranteed.
How many of you will buy it?
Tell me.
I say, guaranteed.
Even if I say money back and everything
else, you will not.
You say, Brozek, I don't really feel happy.
You say something nice to me.
You won't tell me the real reason.
But you know the real reason.
This thing hasn't worked in this fella's life.
He doesn't have it on his own head.
Obviously it doesn't work.
You know, that's how a lot of people
are preaching the gospel today.
Oh, this gospel, take it.
Oh, it will change you.
Heaven will come down and glory will fill
your life and all these fantastic things and
they come and see how you live at
home and Thank you.
We're not really excited about this.
Thank you.
They say something nice and go away.
You know, we need to be ashamed of
ourselves.
If you're a Christian.
I say, Lord, I don't want to proclaim
something.
I don't want to put a sales pitch
to something that doesn't work.
I want to say to you, my brother,
sister, I've been married 35 years.
It works.
I'm not selling some hair restoring oil.
I'm telling you something that really works.
You can have a happy marriage.
You can have a marriage where you never
raise your voice at your wife even once
in 365 days and 366 days in a
leap year.
Just by the way.
Sure.
That's a guarantee.
It's because God's word says that.
But you've got to work at it.
And when you fail, you've got to say,
Lord, it was my fault.
I'm sorry.
And tell your wife.
That's my fault.
I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
Do it, my brothers and sisters.
And let's demonstrate to this country that Jesus
Christ is all powerful.
He can give us happy marriages, make Him
Lord of your life.
How will you know what this book says?
Manufacturer's instructions.
You've read your computer instructions, your washing machine
instructions more than you've read the most important
instructions.
Do you value your washing machine more than
your marriage?
Do you value some wretched computer more than
your marriage?
Let's be wise from today and say, Lord
Jesus, help me.
He can solve every problem.
Acknowledge your need.
Come to Him in faith.
Let's bow our heads in prayer.
While our heads are bowed in prayer, remember
the first step is to acknowledge your need
to God first.
Tell Him you have no wine.
Tell Him the wine has run out.
Maybe you never had wine right from day
one of your marriage.
Tell Him.
He understands.
Say, Lord, I want to work on my
marriage.
I want you, Lord Jesus, to come into
our home and be Lord of our home
and of our life.
I'm sorry for having brought a bad name
to Jesus Christ through my past years.
It's going to be different from today.
Forgive me my sins.
Cleanse me in your blood.
And Lord, give me the power of your
Holy Spirit in my life so that I
can be free from this selfishness that has
destroyed my marriage.
Help me to see the way you walked
of denying yourself and your life was so
happy.
Help me to walk that way, to choose
that way.
To find happiness in my life and peace
in my home.
And to bring up my children in an
atmosphere of peace.
Lord, please help me.
And Lord, help me to I believe that
you'll help me.
I believe that we can reach the top
of this mountain.
And you'll give me grace for it.
And help me to understand my partner better.
To take time to study, to understand how
she's different from me or he's different from
me.
And to bear with her.
To bear with him.
And to accept my partner.
The way you made her, made him.
That together we can manifest a beautiful married
life for your glory.
So we can bless other people.
I believe that many of you if not
all of you are praying that prayer sincerely
right now.
I want to say to you that Jesus
hears you.
And he'll help you.
He will.
Believe that.
Believe that that little prayer you prayed in
your heart to God now, he's heard you.
Heavenly Father, help.
That is