Hello, this is Brother Denny.
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All right, this evening we're in the last
two sessions, the ones last evening.
We have been laying the foundation for the
sessions this evening and for tomorrow evening.
That is the use of the rod.
We want to talk about spanking your children
this evening.
One of the families that I met just
before the meeting, they said their son was
really excited about the message last night.
And the dad said, well, what were you
excited about, my boy?
And the son said, well, the part where
Brother Denny said not to spank us.
And I thought, oh, my boy, you're in
for it tonight.
We are dealing with two balancing principles here.
Last evening, the heart issue of love, relationship,
an overwhelming blessing upon the children that they
have no question about, that their father and
their mother loves them.
And on the other side, this matter of
disciplining the children when they need to be
disciplined.
It's very important.
The title this evening of this first session
is The Rod is Love.
The Rod is Love.
When we take these two principles and we
balance them together so beautifully, it has a
powerful effect upon our children when we bring
them together.
But they are devastating to our children if
they stand alone, either one of them.
If love and relationship and no discipline prevails
in your home, your children will be silly
and uncontrolled and bring you to shame.
That's what the Bible says.
On the other hand, if you allow discipline
to prevail in your home and there's no
love, you will raise children who will despise
you, obey you out of fear and be
like robots.
The hidden dynamics of God and his love
is this outflowing of blessings upon us.
Think about it.
That is what God uses to draw us
to himself.
A people who will willingly serve him out
of love instead of fear like a robot.
Remember the Garden of Eden?
When God made man in his own image,
God made man with a free will.
But while God gave man a free will,
he did that because he wanted man to
serve him with a willing heart.
He also poured out his love upon man,
which drew man to want to serve God
with his whole heart.
Oh, dear parents, that works the same.
That very same dynamic works in every one
of our homes.
When we bring the two of these together,
it works so beautifully.
May God help us to understand.
God does not want us to have robots
in our households.
And if you think about it, you really
don't want that either, do you?
Just children that will perform because they're afraid
that you're going to spank them if they
don't or that you're going to scold them
if they don't.
Is that the kind of children you want?
Wouldn't you rather have children who love you,
who serve you, who do what you want
them to do because they love you, because
you love them, and they desire to please
you with all their heart?
Surely that's the kind of children we would
like to have in our homes.
My goal for this session is to convince
you that using the rod is one of
the most loving things that you can do
for your children.
This holy exercise fits into the category of
one of the most loving activities that you
can do for your child.
I don't know if you believe that, but
it's true.
It fits into the categories like taking a
fun trip to McDonald's with the family or
having a special time of loving affirmation with
the children or giving them some sweet discipline
when they need it.
Those are all in the same category.
May God help us to understand that.
I would also like to convince you that
it is a sin if you won't use
the rod in the rearing of your children.
Can I be that strong?
A sin of omission with serious consequences.
Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 8 says, If
ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers,
or all children are partakers, then are ye
bastards and not sons.
There are serious consequences involved if a parent
decides for whatever reactionary reason, I'm not going
to spank my children.
Many years ago, we had a family visiting
in our home who did not believe in
spanking their children.
They said quite boldly to us in the
beginning of the evening, There are other ways
to motivate the children to be good.
And I say amen to that.
There are other ways to motivate the children
to be good, and we'll be looking at
many of those in later sessions.
However, when we say, I'll find another way
and I don't need to spank my children,
I think we are in for trouble.
Now, I was intrigued by watching this family
all evening long.
Those children were all over the place.
Those children were into this and into that.
The mom and dad, they tried to convince
them to sit down.
They said nice words to them.
Would they please sit down?
Would you pretty please quit getting into all
the things?
I mean, they tried everything that they knew
of in the book to try to convince
those children to be good.
But guess what?
The children were in charge all evening long.
And I felt for those parents.
I knew they made that statement in ignorance.
I knew they didn't understand some of the
inner dynamics of what makes a child a
happy, obedient, free, peaceful child.
They did not understand those dynamics.
All evening long they pleaded with those children.
All evening long.
I prayed for the parents.
They had no rest to visit whatsoever in
our whole evening of sharing.
They were constantly up and back and this
way and that way.
Now, since then, they've changed their minds.
You see, when they were in our home,
they had a couple of girls.
God gave them a boy a couple of
years after that.
And things changed quite a bit.
And all of a sudden the father decided
he would take a look at this spanking
aspect a bit more closely.
And sometimes it's that way.
With boys more than girls.
Not always, but sometimes it is that way.
Well, I get many different responses when I
speak on using the rod.
It has shocked me at times to see
the different responses that I have received.
I remember speaking to a group of people
about this size.
Sharing with them how I spanked my children.
And I saw a dozen adults sit there
in that meeting and weep as they listened
to how I spanked my children.
The reason why they were weeping is because
they were remembering how they were spanked when
they were children.
And it wasn't very pleasant the way that
they were spanked.
So I get many different responses.
Some people react.
Some people get uneasy.
Some people get afraid.
And you can be sure the children always
sit up on the edge of their seat
when it's time to talk about spanking the
children.
They're very interested in what the preacher is
going to tell their mom and dad on
this subject.
And I don't blame them.
Many people have had bad experiences in their
childhood.
And this makes it difficult.
You may be one of those.
You may be one of those who had
one of those bad experiences.
And because of that, whether you did it
willingly or whether it just happened a little
at a time, you have closed your heart
to the whole aspect of spanking a child.
Some time ago, I was in a distant
state sharing on several different subjects.
And I think I preached on the home
once that weekend that I was there.
And a mother came up to me and
shared with me a testimony that I got
a kick out of it.
I think you will, too.
So I'll share it with you.
She said, Brother Denny, we received your tapes,
oh, about three years ago.
And we opened them up and we started
listening to them.
And God just began to change our whole
view of what it means to raise children.
And, of course, somewhere there in the middle
of those tapes is a message on spanking
your children.
Well, the little boy in the house, he
was about three, maybe four years old.
He wasn't real excited about these tapes that
came into the house and he wasn't sure
about all these things.
He noticed that his mom and dad were
getting more enthused every tape they listened to.
And he wasn't sure about it.
And the parents decided spanking is the right
thing and we're going to do it.
And sure enough, the day of this little
boy's fate came and it was time for
him to get a spanking.
And the mother shared with me that she
went through all the things that I told
her to do there.
You know, you talk to the child and
all that.
And I'll share it a little bit later
on in this meeting.
And she said she got to the place
where the little fellow was over her knee
and it's time to give him a spanking.
And she's just about ready to raise up
whatever she was going to use to spank
the little fellow.
And he said, wait, mom, wait.
And, of course, she stopped, you know, and
he looked up at her and said, Mom,
I'm not sure about this brother Denny.
I think he might be a false prophet.
I thought you smart little fella.
Boy, if he didn't know what he was
doing, let's check him out a little more
before I get this spank and make sure
he's sound.
Now, that's natural humor.
And isn't it beautiful?
And, you know, God fills every one of
our homes with things like that all the
time, doesn't he?
Hallelujah.
That's what a little child would do.
Now, she went ahead.
He didn't get out.
He still got his spanking.
But I'll tell you what, that mom and
dad, they chuckled over that one a few
times to see the ingenuity of that little
mind.
Let's see.
How can I undo this guy?
Praise the Lord.
Well, you check it out in the Bible.
What I'm going to say, you check it
out for yourself and see if it isn't
true.
I just want to remind you this evening,
as we move into this sensitive subject by
some, let's not react because of a bad
experience that we have had in our past.
We must be open to the truth of
the Word of God.
I want God to show you that it
is not some mean thing to give your
child a spanking, but rather a tender expression
of love and care for your child.
But for you to be able to understand
that and receive it, you must open your
heart.
Just like in any other truth, you must
say, OK, Lord, I open my heart.
You teach me what I need to learn.
We use the rod in our house and
the children love and honor us.
There are times when I often feel they
honor us way more than what we deserve.
I truly believe one of the reasons why
they honor us is because we spank them
in a right way, in a biblical way,
in a loving way when they needed it.
I believe that.
It may surprise you, but sometimes they even
come and say thank you after they get
a spanking.
You'll see later that's biblical to do that.
So, that's a good goal to have.
We never set out to make that happen,
but it happens pretty often.
And you will see it is biblical for
your child, if you're doing it right and
they're getting the results that God wants them
to get out of it, that they will
come back and kiss your hand.
You will see.
I remember when Samuel was just a little
tyke and he would get a spanking.
He would say these words.
He would come back to me later and
he would say, Papa, I don't enjoy the
spanking.
It hurts, but I sure like the clear
feeling that it makes inside of my heart.
Thank you for spanking me.
Smart boy.
Many have believed the devil's lie on this
subject.
We think that spanking is a negative form
of discipline.
It is not a negative form of discipline,
but one to be looked up to.
Many people look down on it and say,
oh, well, they spank their children.
They think it's a negative form when it
is a powerful, positive, love-building method by
which God gives us to train our children.
Lord, open our eyes.
Open our eyes.
If you feel yourself reacting, even now as
you sit here, pray to God, Oh, Lord,
help me to see this whole thing right.
Many times when I share on this subject,
people will come to me afterwards and say,
I just turned you off as soon as
you started.
Don't do that tonight.
Keep your heart open.
Allow God by his spirit through his word
to enlighten the eyes of your heart concerning
the subject.
It's very important.
The devil is working hard to make it
illegal in this land of ours to spank
our children.
There are other places where it is already
illegal.
We have a brother here in this meeting
from Holland.
It is against the law to spank your
children there.
The devil does not want us to spank
our children.
You need to remember that as you react
to teaching.
The world says it's cruel.
It is oppressive.
And if you spank your children, your child
will hate you.
Many of God's people are flirting with these
notions these days.
In fact, I am shocked at times to
hear who is flirting with thoughts like this.
They are reacting from maybe their own parents'
failures.
We cannot do that.
That is a mistake.
Whenever someone fails and distorts the truth of
the word of God, we make a mistake
if we react to that and let the
pendulum swing way over to the other side.
Your children will suffer for it.
Spanking with a flow of love, like I
spoke about last evening, makes bright, happy children
who love and respect their parents.
Let's talk a little bit about natural love
and spiritual love.
Natural love says, I couldn't spank my child.
I wouldn't want to hurt him.
This is a normal, natural response.
When you look at the whole subject of
spanking, I mean, it's painful.
The child cries.
You don't feel good while you're doing it.
This is a normal, natural response to spanking
a child.
But with Christians, we are supposed to be
spiritual.
And Christians not only have natural love that
feels compassion at a time like that, but
a Christian is supposed to have spiritual love,
which is agape love at the same time.
This love rises above the natural love and
does what is right according to the word
of God for the good of the child.
That's spiritual love.
If our natural love is stopping us from
spanking our children, then that natural love must
be crucified.
That spiritual love, which is agape love, can
rise up and help the child.
That's true love, isn't it?
Spiritual love is love that loves by godly
principles, not by emotional feelings.
The Holy Spirit has inspired powerful words in
this book.
We cannot question that.
We cannot doubt that.
What God has revealed in this book called
the Bible concerning the subject of spanking our
children.
The question is, what do you want for
your children?
This is the question.
The Bible says, if you will lovingly spank
your children, here are some of the benefits.
It will give them wisdom.
The rod will cleanse away evil from their
hearts.
It will express love to them.
It will produce a clear conscience.
It will keep your child from going to
hell.
It will bring calm, quiet order to your
home and to your child.
And it will drive foolishness away from the
heart of your child.
These are some of the beautiful benefits that
God gives to us as He reveals these
scriptures on spanking our children.
Proverbs 13 and 24 says, According
to this verse, Either the message, I
love you, or the message, I hate you.
Let's look at this verse a little more
in detail.
Four words we'd like to look at.
First, let's give a definition of them.
The word, spareth, it means to hold back
or use sparingly.
The word, hateth, it means to stand and
face your enemy.
That's what the word, hate, means.
The word, loveth, here's the picture here.
It means to stand with outreached arms to
receive.
So here it is.
Hateth, you're standing there with your weapon, ready
to face your enemy.
Loveth, you're standing there with your arms open
wide, ready to receive.
Those are the two messages that are given,
depending on whether you choose to spank your
children in a loving way, or whether you
choose to give in to your natural feelings
and say, I just can't spank my child.
And the last word in the verse that
we want to look at is the word,
betimes.
It means early in life.
Some say it means early and again and
again.
Let's look at the word, spareth, first.
If we hold back, according to this verse,
we hate.
Now, I want you to notice, brothers and
sisters, it's not saying he who doesn't spank
his child hates.
It says he who holds back hates.
If holding back is hate, how much more
then is no spanking at all hate?
Because the scripture says holds back.
In other words, you should have spanked the
child there.
But I just couldn't do it.
You should have spanked the child there.
But I was just too busy.
That's holding back.
The Bible says you hate your child if
you hold back the rod from the child.
God who made us knows our weakness.
Therefore, he warns us not to hold back
because he knows.
You know, you don't want to do it.
It's not pleasant.
It's not joyful.
Nobody likes to see their child hurt.
So God, knowing our hearts, knowing that we
have this natural love, he warns us in
the word and says, if you spare the
rod, you are hating your child.
There are many reasons why we spare the
rod.
Some are too busy to do it.
Some don't want to be bothered with it.
Some hold back in ignorance.
Some draw back from the difficult task of
it.
Some feel guilty for their own sins and
don't do it.
You must be spiritual to spank your children
properly.
We will see that later.
So here we have this word spirit, which
means to hold back and not spank when
we should.
The next word is hated.
In the Hebrew language, it is often defined
in word pictures.
We get into the Greek, it's defined in
words, literal word understandings and definitions.
But the Hebrew, it's often in a word
picture.
And the word picture here is a man
standing before his enemy.
What kind of a look do you think
is on the face of a man who's
standing before his enemy?
There is a spirit of hate coming out
of him.
There is a spirit of fighting coming out
of him.
He hasn't lifted up his sword yet.
He hasn't reached out to try to hurt
his enemy.
He's just standing there before his enemy.
And the enemy gets the silent message.
Get your sword out.
This guy's going to fight.
That's the picture that God uses.
There is a silent message that goes forth.
When we do not spank our children when
they need it, the spirit of hatred is
manifested.
When we hold back, we silently say, I
don't care.
You know, when I used to work with
the bus children in Chicago, we saw them
a little bit on Saturdays.
And then we spent a lot of time
with them on Sunday.
You know, some of those little fellas would
come to me on Sunday with a sincere
heart and look up at me and say,
Brother Denny, would you give me a spanking?
I need one.
My dad never gives me a spanking.
Would you give me a spanking?
I need one.
You know what?
That little fella knew that I loved him.
He knew it.
And I gave a few a spanking, by
the way.
Now, there was a few homes that I
went to and I walked in the door.
There was no dad around.
The mom said, Johnny needs a spanking.
He's hiding under the bed.
You know what?
He got a loving spanking from Mr. Denny.
That's what they called me then.
There is a practical hatred.
When we neglect correction, we tend to get
frustrated with our children.
So it's not just a silent hatred.
It is a practical hatred.
When you put it off and you put
it off and you put it off, what
happens?
The child gets a little more out of
order.
You start speaking to him and you start
nagging.
You raise your voice a little bit more.
Finally, you say, that's enough.
Yeah, well, you just put a wall up
between you and your child.
So there is a practical side to that
also.
It's not just a silent message that says,
I really don't care.
But there is also a practical, real message.
Now, the next word is the word, love
it.
The spirit of love is manifested when a
parent gives proper correction and clearing to the
child.
The Hebrew word picture is very clear.
A person standing with outstretched arms.
When little Hannah and Esther were little girls,
if I would be away on a weekend
preaching trip, coming home on Monday afternoon, those
two little girls would run to meet me
when I came home.
I would always get down on my knee
like this and hold out my hand just
like this, and they would run into my
arms.
That's the picture of the word, loveth, in
the Scripture.
There is a spirit of love in that
picture, isn't there?
And there's no question about it.
It's there.
And that silent message said to those two
little girls, Come give me a hug!
And they felt free to run right into
it.
My dear brothers and sisters, that is also
the message that comes across to your children
when you choose to spank them in a
loving manner as we described last evening.
There is a silent message.
It's very clear in the Bible.
In this verse, spanking is an expression of
love.
A beautiful expression of love.
It says to the child, I care about
you.
What security this breeds in the life and
the heart of a child.
And the last word here we have is
the word betimes.
And it seems to me that it means
early in life.
Don't wait too long, God says.
And some say it means again and again,
because betimes is plural, not betime, but betimes.
So maybe it means early again and again.
Either way, it's good sound interpretation.
But many people ask me this question.
Brother Denny, when do you start spanking a
child?
How old should a child be when you
spank them?
This is a good question.
You spank them when they need it.
But may I quickly say, if you do
your homework in directing that little child, they
may not need a spanking as soon as
they would if you neglect them and let
them go their own way.
You spank them when they need it.
When you see that your guiding words are
not being heeded, but don't make the mistake
of neglecting to train the little ones and
then spanking them when they don't comply.
This is not right.
I have heard of parents spanking a one
-year-old child over and over and over
again, because they won't be quiet in church.
I don't think that's right.
I think you're not doing your homework.
If you spank your child five times on
a Sunday morning service, you're not doing your
homework at home.
The need is not more pain.
The need is some time and some attention
and some direction and some teaching.
By the way, we taught most of our
children to sit quietly at home.
Then when they came to church, it was
no big deal.
Do it at home.
You know, you won't be so embarrassed at
home.
You know how it is?
The child's screaming and Brother Denny's preaching.
You won't be so embarrassed.
Work with the child at home.
Let me give you a paraphrase of this
verse then.
He who holds back the use of the
rod manifests a spirit of hatred.
But he who wants to manifest a spirit
of love will use the rod early in
life again and again.
In the New Covenant, God promises to be
our Father.
Amen?
One of the most beautiful parts of God
promising to be our Father is that He
overshadows us with His love.
In fact, most of the promises of the
New Covenant fall underneath the major promise where
God says, I promise to be a Father
unto you and ye shall be my sons
and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
So, that covers so many other promises.
But in that promise, we also have to
remember that being a Father, sometimes God must
chastise us.
Amen?
God spanks His children.
And for that reason, if no other reason,
we should open our heart to the teaching
about spanking our children simply because we're supposed
to be like God and God is a
Father and He spanks us.
If God loves us so much that He
would spank us, we ought also to love
our children so much that we would give
them the care that they need.
Hebrews 12, verses 5-13 is very clear.
Spanking is an unquestionable expression of God the
Father's love.
And the fruit that comes out of it
is proof of His love.
You remember what He says?
It brings forth the peaceable fruit of righteousness
unto those that are exercised thereby.
And I tell you, dear parents, spanking your
children, if you do it right, it will
also bring forth peaceable fruit in the children's
lives.
I'm telling you, it will happen just like
that.
If we do not spank our children, our
children are children without a father, according to
Hebrews 12.
If you be without chastisement, ye are bastards
or children who do not have a father.
And this is a grave mistake for a
father to make.
And many children grow up mixed up and
confused about God because of it.
I wonder this evening, what kind of picture
of God are we giving to our children?
What is their perception of God like as
they watch us in this area of spanking?
How do we spank our children?
If we spank them in a tender and
a loving way, they will learn that God
loves them enough to correct them.
And they will respond right when He does.
Because, let's face it, God warns us there
in Hebrews 12, you must respond properly to
the spankings that I give you.
We are the ones who teach our children
how to respond to the spankings that God
is going to give.
By teaching them how to respond to the
ones that we give them.
And by giving them the way God gives
them.
There are many paradoxes in the Bible, and
this whole matter of spanking is one of
those paradoxes.
You know, like the way up is down,
and give, and it will come back to
you again.
These things, they don't make sense in our
mind.
Well, this is the way it is with
spanking.
We would look at that naturally and say,
how in the world you say my children
are going to love me if I spank
them?
Spanking is painful.
Spanking doesn't feel good.
Spanking feels bad in the heart when it's
happening.
How can that make my child love me?
That's what a paradox is.
It doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense that the way up
is down, but the way up is down.
Amen?
And so also this may not make sense,
but that doesn't matter to us.
God's ways are not our ways.
They're very different than our ways.
Proverbs 19 and verse 18 says, Chasten thy
son while there is hope, and let not
thy soul spare for its crying.
Now the first thing we want to look
at in this verse is this.
God gives us a clear command.
Chasten thy son.
That's what God says.
And I think we all obey the Bible.
What do you think?
David said, I will run the way of
your commandments, God.
David said, Thy commandments are my delight.
That was David's heart.
And this is one of the commandments, brothers
and sisters.
Chasten thy sons and thy daughters.
The next little portion we want to look
at here is where it says while there
is hope.
Now, while there is hope means that there
will be a time when there is not
hope.
And that's why God even said it.
God wouldn't need to say it if that
time would never come.
But that time will come when there will
be no hope.
So God says, Chasten your child while there
is hope.
God is encouraging us to seize the day.
While they are pliable, chasten your children.
While the clay is soft, use the rod
at the time that it is needed.
While the concrete is soft, before it sets
up and is hard, do what you need
to do.
While the tree is young and bends easily,
bend the tree.
There will be a day when the concrete
gets hard.
There will be a day when the clay
gets hard.
There will be a day when that little
sprig will be a big, fat tree and
you won't be able to do much with
it.
You know, we have a couple of trees
on our property.
Our little piece of land is kind of
on a hill.
And you plant a tree on the side
of a hill.
It's not a real steep hill, but it's
enough of a hill.
If you plant that tree on the side
of the hill and you don't train that
little fella, when it's small, guess what?
In about five years, you'll have a tree
standing like this.
And we have a couple of them on
our property to prove it.
But what you're supposed to do when that
tree is little, you can just take a
little piece of string and tie it around
that little sprig and put it in the
ground, pulling it this way a bit, and
that tree will be standing nice and tall
in five years.
But if you wait five years and say,
okay, we're going to straighten this tree out,
you better get yourself a chain and a
bulldozer.
You can straighten it out.
You can, with a chain and a bulldozer.
Which way would you rather do it with
your children?
With a string and a little stake?
Or a chain and a bulldozer?
Chasten thy son while there is hope.
The day is coming when there will be
no hope.
And then God goes on to say, And
let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Spare not for crying, God says.
God put this in here again because He
knows our natural tendency.
You know, the child is crying?
How many times our child begins to cry
when it's time to get a spanking and
we come up with another way to give
the correction, huh?
How many of you ever did that?
Let me see your hands.
Yeah.
Here comes the child crying and oh, well,
maybe we can, well, I'll give you one
more chance and you know, we come up
with a way to get out of it.
It's because the crying affects the heart.
That's why God put it in there, so
that we wouldn't yield to that.
Well, some parents spank softly when they hear
their child crying.
Some parents just give a couple of swats
when they hear their child crying.
But God says, Spare not for their crying.
Don't hold back when you hear them cry.
And this is very interesting.
You know, whenever I preach on the home,
I will ask the children in the meeting,
How many of you have cried extra hard
hoping that you could get Mom not to
spank you so hard?
Let me see your hands.
I wonder how many of you children would
be honest enough to say that you cried
extra hard hoping that Mom wouldn't spank you
so much.
Let me see your hands.
You children.
Let me see.
Come on, be honest.
Look at all those hands.
See?
They got you.
Mom, Dad, they got you.
They're no dummies.
They know your heart goes pitter-patter when
they hear you cry.
And some of those children, they can cry
and make it sound like they're dying.
They're not dying.
And we're talking about doing this right.
We're not talking about being mean and beating
a child.
But look.
God knew.
God put that in there because He knows
a parent's heart.
And He also put it in there because
He knows a child's heart.
You little ones.
He knows your heart.
He knows what you're going to pull on
Mom and Dad.
God says, let not your heart spare for
the crying.
Adam Clarke says this, and we'll close.
It is better that the child be made
to cry when the correction may be helpful
than that the parents should cry afterward when
the child is grown, the habits are formed,
and it is too late.
Let us pray.
God, our Father, we thank You that You're
a loving God.
You're a loving Father.
And Father, we do, even tonight, we thank
You for the times that You have spanked
us.
And Lord, we know You did it so
beautifully that we did thank You when You
were done.
O God, I pray, teach us, Lord, how
to do it so right that the children
will kiss our hand in Jesus' name, Amen.