Let's just look to the Lord in prayer
before we begin.
Our Heavenly Father, every good and perfect gift
comes from You.
And there is nothing we can produce that
will ever be good or perfect.
We pray that Your presence by Your Spirit
will be here.
You will speak to us according to our
need this evening.
There are needs here which are known and
unknown.
We pray You will speak to all of
our hearts.
In Jesus name, Amen.
I want to show you something very interesting
in the very first page of the Bible.
Now if you are a Christian, I am
sure you would have read the first chapter
of the Bible.
Even if you didn't go very far in
the Bible, you would have read the first
chapter about how God made the heavens and
earth.
He created the heavens and earth and then
over a period of six days He remade
it when it was spoiled.
And the thing we notice here is, God
is Almighty and of course He could have
with a snap of His fingers done everything
in a moment.
But He is a God of order and
there was a reason why He did that
making of the earth and heaven in over
a period of six days.
It is from that creation and the seventh
day of rest that we have our week.
Where we have one day of rest in
seven.
But what I want to point out to
you is, every day God made something and
then He examined it.
The first day it says He made light
and He said it was good.
And then the next day He made something
else and the next day He made something
else.
And He kept on saying, that's good, it's
good, it's good, it's good, it's good.
All the way up to the fifth day.
And then on the sixth day, God suddenly
says, not good.
Have you noticed that?
Five days He says good, good, good, good,
good.
And then suddenly He says, not good.
What was that?
That was when a man was single and
Adam was all alone.
He first made Adam and then He said,
it's not good for man to be alone.
That was on the sixth day.
You read a bit in Genesis 2.18.
He said, it's not good.
So it's something like a teacher correcting an
answer paper and saying, tick, tick, tick, tick
and then a cross.
It's wrong.
Something is missing here.
Then we read that God made a wife
for Adam and brought her to Adam and
united them.
And then He said, very good.
It was not just good.
So you got to see the progression there
in Genesis chapter 1.
It's very interesting to see it.
Good, good, good, good, good, not good and
then very good.
What was it which was not good?
When a man didn't have a wife.
And what was it that solved that problem
and made it very good?
When he got a wife.
Do you feel like that?
About the wife you have?
Anyway, even if you don't, I want to
say that's what God wants it to be
like.
And that's what we see in the first
chapter of the Bible.
He wants your marriage not just to be
good.
When all the rest of the world is
good, He wants your marriage to be very
good.
Then how is it that when you look
at a lot of marriages today and even
a lot of so-called Christian marriages, we
have to say, not good.
Not at all good.
It's in a pretty pathetic situation.
I mean, I've been in Christian work for
nearly 40 years and I've had the occasion
to counsel and talk to a lot of
Christian families and I tell you some terrible
things that go on in so-called Christian
homes.
You don't hear much of it outside because
everybody is very pleasant and they go to
church, they look so holy.
But if you only could see what goes
on in their home, it's not good.
And what I want to say is, you
got to believe that that is not God's
will.
You know, once you accept that, oh well,
that's normal.
That's how everybody else is.
Well then, it's never going to change.
Once you accept that state of affairs as
normal, it'll never change.
But if you can come to the first
chapter of the Bible and say, well that's
not supposed to be how my married life
should be.
That's not the way God intended it.
You know, just like if you buy an
expensive product and the instruction book says it's
supposed to work like this.
You have that problem sometimes with computers.
You get a computer with a very fast
processor and then it's working so slowly.
It takes such a long time to load
a program.
And you say, hey, something's wrong.
That's not the way such an Intel Pentium
4 is supposed to work.
And you call the person who fixed it
and say, there's something wrong here because it's
slow, it's crashing so often and something's wrong.
I mean, if you're a person who is
using your computer every day, you'd want it
fixed immediately.
Why aren't you so eager to fix your
marriage, which is so sluggish, crashes so often,
just like the computer.
There's something better than an Intel 4 processor
you have, that God gave you.
Something which God himself, the original model, He
said, very good.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
And the man who fixes the computer comes
along and says, hey, you went and did
something wrong here, that's why you messed it
all up.
But never mind, we can fix it.
There's a guarantee on it.
And the wonderful thing about marriage is, God
gives you not a one year guarantee, a
lifelong guarantee.
He says, come back to me, I'll fix
it up anytime.
That's not the way it's supposed to work.
Your computer is not supposed to crash every
so often.
No!
What do you think of a man who
accepts his marriage crashing every day with explosions
and all types of things?
No.
There's a virus.
You've got to get rid of it.
That's the only way.
And that's the solution the Bible gives.
You can have a marriage, which when it's
examined down to the deepest detail, inside your
home, the way it works in your home,
that almighty God himself can certify it's very
good.
See, man certifying that your marriage is good
means nothing, because they don't know your marriage.
I mean, think of the people who know
you best.
How much do they know of your marriage?
I mean, whenever they come to visit you
in your home, you're always on your best
behavior.
They don't know what really happens there when
they're not there.
But almighty God, think if he can certify,
very good, one who examines every area of
married life, think what a wonderful marriage that
is.
So the very first thing which I wanted
to establish in your mind is, this computer
is not supposed to work so slow.
It's not supposed to crash.
The original model which God made, when God
certified it's very good, it's certified, examined, it's
supposed to work much better.
So what am I saying?
Therefore, don't accept that substandard marriage that you
have right now.
Don't accept it.
Right from the beginning of your married life,
God wants your marriage to be very good.
He doesn't want it to be not good.
He wants it to be very good.
So, I wish I could convince you about
that.
Because once you're convinced about that, then you'll
really seek for it.
Otherwise, you know, think of a fellow who's
ignorant of computers, who's already seen as the
old, what they used to call PCs, which
work so slow, and then he expects the
same speed here on this Intel Pentium 4.
And somebody says, Hey listen, this is not
supposed to work like those old models.
This is supposed to be very fast.
It's supposed to be very good.
That's what I want to say about your
marriage.
It's not supposed to be like all those
marriages that you see in the world around
you.
It's supposed to be very good.
If you can be established in this one
truth, that God designed married life to be
excellent.
To be very happy.
God is the designer and producer of happiness.
Everything he does is to make us happier
and better people.
The Bible says that God sends only good
and perfect gifts.
Marriage is a gift from God.
And God wants our marriage to be supremely
happy.
When Jesus spoke about marriage once, he was
talking to some people who asked him about
divorce.
You know, I mean in western countries, you
know divorce is very common.
They say it's almost 50% of marriages
end in divorce.
And the sad thing is, even in Christian
churches, the average is the same.
50%.
Which proves that these fellows haven't got real
Christianity.
How can real Christianity make our marriages as
hopeless as the marriages in the world.
There is something wrong there.
Something fundamentally wrong.
So, in Matthew 19 we read that Pharisees
came to Jesus and asked him, is it
right to divorce your wife?
And Jesus said, no, not at all.
I mean, he said in the Old Testament,
Moses permitted it because you fellows, your hearts
were so hard, if you didn't divorce your
wife, you would have hammered her and killed
her.
So God said, okay, please divorce her.
But that's not God's original plan, Jesus said.
If you go back to the beginning, which
is Genesis 1 and 2, that's what Jesus
said there.
In the beginning, that was not God's will.
You read that in the first few verses
of Matthew 19.
He said, in the beginning, God made them
male and female, and he wanted them to
be one.
And there is a beautiful expression, he uses
here in verse 5.
The two shall become one.
If you want a description of marriage, here
is it, in the words of Jesus himself.
Two shall become one.
Now that's God's standard.
You know, recently they were celebrating the 50th
anniversary of climbing Mount Everest.
I was a young boy in Delhi, in
school, when I read one day in the
papers that these fellows, Hillary and Tenzing had
climbed Mount Everest.
It's 1953.
I was just about 13 years old and
you know, that was a mountain that had
challenged so many people, so many people had
tried and died and people had tried to
go up and never reached the top and
came back.
And one day, they succeeded.
And once they succeeded, I mean in the
last 50 years, so many people, there are
people who are paraplegics, who can't walk, got
artificial limbs to climb Mount Everest.
It's amazing.
From all types of angles, from difficult angles
and all they climbed it.
Because there was a tremendous passion in man
to conquer this mountain.
That's what drove them, even though so many
people tried, didn't succeed.
It was the same with the conquest of
space.
You know, I mean, people thought it was
all science fiction in our school days, when
people talked about going to the moon.
But I remember the day my first son
was born.
We read in the papers, man had landed
on the moon, we'll never forget that day.
And it's an amazing thing, that which looked
like science fiction, which, you've gone back to
people in 1960.
Even in 1960, 9 years before they landed
on the moon, it was difficult.
But they did it.
You know, man's drive took him to the
moon.
It's been like that.
They tried, they failed, they tried, they failed,
they got, finally they landed on the moon.
It's been the same in many areas.
And I want to say to you, they
did all of that without, they didn't pray
to God or ask God's help or any
such thing, it was just human intelligence and
science and technology, we did all that.
Now here, we're trying to climb another mountain.
That's a marriage where two have to become
one.
Think of that as a Mount Everest.
Think of that as a space challenge.
And here's something where God has promised, you
can do it.
And here's something where God says, I'll help
you.
How many of you really want to climb
this mountain?
How many of you really want to reach
the top, even if it takes time to
get there?
Say, Lord, our marriage has been pretty unhappy
till now.
It's not been what it should be.
You know, I find that the first step
in any of our dealings with God, whether
it relates to our personal life or to
our married life, the first step is to
acknowledge our failure.
If you can acknowledge failure, that's a very,
very big step.
And those of you who are married sitting
here, you know that that is one of
the most difficult things for a man or
a woman to do.
To say, that was my mistake.
I'm sorry.
Do you know those six words?
That was my mistake.
I'm sorry.
Are some of the most difficult words to
produce from our mouth.
You try it.
If you don't believe me.
Some of the most difficult words for us
to say are these words.
That was my mistake.
You know like we teach children, Baba black
sheep.
We got to teach parents.
Say it with me.
That was my mistake.
I'm sorry.
You'll forget it.
By tomorrow you'll forget it.
It's very difficult rhyme to learn.
But it can change your life.
To acknowledge that was my mistake.
I'm sorry.
You who are married for some years, you
know how difficult it is.
Something has happened and you always think it's
the other person.
But that didn't begin with you.
It began with Adam and Eve.
It's very interesting.
That this wonderful marriage over which God certified
very good.
Couple of days later it was a different
story.
It was not good.
At all.
It was very bad.
Very good.
Two days later, very bad.
On the sixth day, very good.
Two days later on the eighth day, very
bad.
How did it happen?
Because they disobeyed the maker's instructions.
Just like we have all disobeyed the maker's
instructions in our married life.
The end result is where we are today.
And then what I was coming to was
that when God came to Adam and asked
him if I would paraphrase his words did
you disobey my instructions?
And you know it's like you call the
computer chap and he says listen did you
follow the instructions booklet?
You say well no, my wife came and
did something here and I don't know what
happened.
That's exactly what Adam said.
My wife, she doesn't know anything.
She just came and messed up this whole
thing and that's why we are in the
mess today.
Adam said that actually to God as if
he could fool God.
As if he could fool God.
He said my wife.
So this business of putting the blame on
others started way back with our first parents.
And that's one of the first lessons we
want to learn in marriage.
To finish with that old filthy habit which
we have all acquired from Adam of putting
the blame on the other person.
That's why I said like Baba Blacksheep we
got to learn that was...
You remember the rhyme?
That was my mistake.
I am sorry.
Learn it.
Repeat it again.
That was my mistake.
I am sorry.
Even single people, you try saying it.
It's pretty tough.
It's tough for single people as well.
But you learn it when you are single
it will be much easier to sing it
when you are married.
I tell you.
It's a good rhyme.
It's changed your life.
Very important to learn these six words.
Some of the toughest words to learn.
But you learn it.
Say it from your heart.
It will change your life.
Adam couldn't say it.
All he had to say was when God
said to him, he said that was my
mistake.
I am sorry.
He didn't say it.
And think of the number of times.
Can you think of some of you who
are married for so many years when something
went wrong in your relationship.
How many of you said that?
You know why I say it's a difficult
rhyme to learn?
Immediately we begin to justify ourselves.
And even if 90% of the fault
is with us we pick on that 10
% which the other person did and say,
but you did this.
And you know in the depth of your
heart that was only 10%.
But you pick on that.
Because you don't want to take the blame.
I want to say to you my dear
friends, brothers and sisters that if you are
unwilling to get rid of that habit I
can't predict that you are going to have
a happy marriage.
And I want to say it's not such
a humiliating thing to say that was my
mistake.
I am sorry.
Because I want to tell you something.
There is only one person not on earth
but in the universe who never makes a
mistake.
You know who that is?
That's God.
So if you are in the same category
well, you know what you think you are.
I have no problem saying that was my
mistake because when I say that all I
am saying is fellas, I am not God.
Got it?
That's all I am saying.
Is that a very humiliating thing?
Supposing I put that same rhyme in other
words easier words let's start with easier words
Can you say I am not God.
That's easy, isn't it?
Very easy.
That's an easy rhyme to pick up.
I am not God.
But this is the same thing.
Second verse.
First verse is I am not God.
Second verse that was my mistake.
I am sorry.
It's the same thing.
Why can't you sing the second verse?
Because all you are saying when you say
that is I am not God.
God is the only one who doesn't make
mistakes.
Yeah, I know I have been married 30
years but I made a mistake.
I am sorry.
I mean, don't say it in that tone.
Say it now.
Tone is very important.
You can say Yeah, I made a mistake.
I am sorry.
Nobody will believe you if you say it
now.
Say it like you sing the hymns.
I made a mistake.
I am sorry.
And you mean it.
But that's so important to acknowledge failure.
Do you know that Jesus first did a
miracle at a wedding?
Isn't that wonderful to read that in the
Bible that the first thing you read in
the Bible in Genesis 1 is a wedding.
And then you come to the New Testament
and the first miracle that Jesus does is
at a wedding.
That's pretty good.
That means God must be very very interested
in marriages.
That the Old Testament and the New Testament
begin with a wedding.
And the first miracle that Jesus did was
in a wedding ceremony where they ran out
of wine.
That was in those days.
I mean today the equivalent of your chicken
biryani in today's wedding is the wine there
in those days.
Imagine if your chicken biryani ran short and
all the fellows are standing in the queue
and nothing left.
Can you imagine how embarrassed you will feel?
That's exactly how they felt.
They ran out of wine.
Thank God Jesus was there.
See that wine in the New Testament is
a picture of a very happy life.
In the Old Testament there is a verse
which says wine to make the heart of
man glad.
So fullness of wine is a picture of
a very happy marriage.
And when the wine runs out it's a
picture of a marriage where all the joy
has gone.
The marriage is still there.
We don't divorce in India because, not because
we are happier but because society frowns on
it and it's difficult for a woman to
go and find a job on her own
and find a house on her own and
if she goes back to her parents in
many cases the parents say, hey we can't
feed another mouth go back to your husband
adjust and get along.
So just because there are no divorces here
doesn't mean our marriages are any happier than
in the western countries.
No.
The joy has gone out of the marriage
and what I wanted to point out is
that when that happened you know how the
problem was solved?
We said Jesus solved the problem but when
did he do it?
He did it when somebody came to him
and said they have no wine.
The wine has run out.
You see the same principle?
We have failed.
The joy has gone out of our married
life.
It was the acknowledgement of failure instead of
pretending oh ya ya there is plenty of
biryani it's just around the corner, it's coming,
just hang on it's not there, it's all
finished.
To acknowledge failure you know as human beings
we are all basically good actors we are
very good actors we want to act happy
come to church we act holy and a
lot of people when they become Christians they
become better actors than they were before because
now they've got to act super holy and
better than everybody else they become top class
hypocrites it was like that in Jesus time
too you know the worst people in Jesus
time were the people who went to church
every Saturday those days, the synagogue they were
the worst people of all Jesus was in
a running battle with them all the time
because they were the biggest humbugs and hypocrites
and what was their problem with them they
were unwilling to acknowledge their failure, that's all
and there were other terrible people in those
days in Jesus time, there was a woman
caught in adultery and she said oh I
forgive you because what did she have she
acknowledged her need Lord I have no wine
I am an adulterous woman oh you acknowledge
your need, ok you are forgiven and the
other side standing on the other side were
all these holy, so called holy people who
would not acknowledge their need and Jesus always
finding these two groups of people a group
of religious hypocrites who would not acknowledge their
failures and their need, who would not say
that was my mistake, I am sorry and
then on the other side there were these
people whom the religious people looked down upon
in fact there was a prostitute among that
crowd, her name was Mary Magdalene I think
she was a prostitute anyway she had seven
demons she was a terrible woman and Jesus
cast out the demons, forgave her sin and
she became a great saint, Saint Mary Magdalene
imagine what God, what Jesus can do with
people how did she manage that because she
did not pretend to be a holy person
she said well Lord I am just a
sinful woman, that's all I am I am
demon possessed too if you can help me,
help me that's what they did in that
first marriage they came and said we have
no wine no problem, he solved it so
I want to say to you my dear
brothers and sisters when you fail acknowledge it
and the Lord will solve your problem God
can solve every problem I am telling you
the truth I have been a Christian for
44 years and I have experienced the truth
of this verse of this fact that God
can solve every problem I am not putting
a sales pitch here for something I am
trying to sell I am telling you the
truth it's absolutely true there are going to
be problems but God can solve them, in
fact all the miracles that Jesus did was
just to highlight this fact that God can
solve every problem you know when they were
going in a boat and the waves and
the storm came and the waves came into
their boat and Jesus stilled that storm they
said don't you care that we are going
to perish he said of course I care
you are not going to perish, don't worry
every miracle he did you know we think
nowadays of the difficulty of trying to make
both ends meet whether our income can meet
our needs they came across that situation in
Jesus time too they had five loaves and
two fish, one boy and they had 10
,000 people out there 5,000 men plus
a number of women and children how can
you feed 10,000 people with five loaves
and two fish Jesus said give it to
me he could solve that problem too, can
Jesus help us to make ends meet with
our limited income yes, that's the message in
that parable you don't have to get into
debt, he didn't send his disciples say go
and find some businessmen who can lend you
some money and go and find some shops
that are open and borrow borrow and then
spend the next 50 years repaying your debt
he didn't tell them all that he said
I can help you meet your need without
your getting into debt ever but you got
to acknowledge your need first there is no
food lord, we just got this much my
income is this much five loaves and two
fish my needs are 10,000 people you
say impossible, not with God that's the message
of all the Gospels, when you read the
Gospels read it like that that's the message
God has for your marriage, but always the
first step, you know I like those instances
where a blind man would come to Jesus
and Jesus would say what do you want
me to do for you even a stupid
fellow like me knows what he wants, why
does he have to ask him if I
were there I would say Lord I can
tell you, he wants his eyes open why
in the world does Jesus have to ask
that question you know why because he even
wanted that blind guy to acknowledge his need
that's the reason, it's not because Jesus didn't
know, of course he knew the Bible says
Jesus even knew what was going on in
people's hearts, when they were thinking he knew
leave alone when you see a blind man
coming to you, everybody knows what he has
come for but why did he ask him
what do you want me to do for
you and the fellow had to open his
mouth and say I'm blind, I want my
eyes open, and the Lord comes to you
today and say what do you want me
to do for you, and you say Lord
the wine has run out it's a storm
here in my home can you still it
I'm not so sure acknowledge your need and
believe that he is almighty you know that's
why I started with Genesis 1 God's standard,
this is the way your computer is supposed
to run but it's running at such a
slow speed, something is wrong, it's not the
way it's supposed to run, it's not the
way your marriage should be have faith that
God will help you to come to the
top of that Mount Everest will come help
you to reach that standard which standard, not
the standard of a good Christian home, sometimes
you know you see a very happy couple
and you begin to think I wish our
marriage could be like that don't aim for
these little hills ok aim for Mount Everest
that little happy marriage that you see is
a little hill you can go higher than
that but you must have faith imagine these
fellows went to the moon, believed that they
could do it, you think any guy would
get into that space rocket if he had
some doubt whether this is going to reach
the moon or not he was absolutely sure,
we're going to go to the moon and
not only that, he told his family we're
going to come back otherwise, I doubt any
of them you think anybody would take a
one way trip to the moon however exciting
it may be and however much your photos
may be flashed on the earth I'm sure
nobody wants a one way trip to the
moon, they were absolutely sure they'd come back,
they had faith and they got in can't
you believe that almighty God and all that
he said in his word can change your
marriage however much it may be on the
rocks to like a ship that's hit the
rocks and broken that he can fix it
all up and get you sailing on the
sea of life once again, it's not a
ship really, it's a small boat actually you
know the old fishermen in Europe had a
little prayer that they used to pray when
they used to go out in their little
boats in the early days when they didn't
have outboard motors and sails and oars years
ago their prayer was oh God the sea
is so great our boats are so small
please help us that is the prayer of
those fishermen oh God the sea is so
great our boats are so small please help
us you know the world is something like
that such a huge world with so many
problems it's like a vast ocean with a
future that's unknown it's a vast ocean and
you and your wife and your children are
in a small little boat trying to go
in this ocean, you don't know where the
storm is going to come from your only
help is God I thought of that in
relation to the world in which we live
there is a song we sing because he
lives I can face tomorrow one verse of
that song says how good to hold a
little baby in your hand to see the
joy it brings into your heart and then
to think I'm expanding on the words of
that song that this baby has to grow
up in a world full of bombs and
missiles and terrorists and traffic accidents and evil
and you'll be dead and gone and your
child is growing up in this world and
it goes on to say how good to
know that you can commit your child to
Jesus and because he lives we can face
tomorrow and because he lives my child can
face tomorrow even after I'm dead and gone
you see it's wonderful that's the hope we
have God can solve every problem but you
got to have faith because he lives because
Jesus Christ has conquered death because I see
in God's word that God's plan for me
is to have a happy marriage he can
do it for me so we've seen acknowledging
our need is number one and then we
saw faith faith means you got to believe
like these fellas believed they could conquer Mount
Everest and these folks believed they could go
to the moon and come back we have
a much stronger faith than that because you
know that some of those folks who went
up to space even recently never came back
there was that Indian lady among them never
came back they thought they'd come back but
technology failed and that happened even once before
when the challenge of spacecraft went up some
years ago, never came back they hardly took
off before they all got burnt up but
here we have a promise in scripture where
almighty God himself has promised to support us
acknowledge your need believe that it is God's
will to make your life extremely happy and
I want to show you a verse in
1 Peter which speaks about married couples and
there's a phrase there which I want to
take out from there in the first letter
of Peter chapter 3 in verse 7 it's
addressed to husbands but you can also apply
it to wives the phrase in verse 7
is in the middle of that verse live
in an understanding way with your partner live
in an understanding way with your partner husbands
with your wives that's what's mentioned here but
we could reverse that wives live in an
understanding way with your husbands take that as
a little motto when you go away from
here live in an understanding way and you
know that understanding about any subject takes time
you can teach yourself I taught myself to
use computers but it took time to understand
you know children go to school and they
take years to understand chemistry or physics or
biology I mean child takes a long time
to do learn long division I mean you
folks can do division easily now you know
your multiplication table but think of your children
how they are struggling with something that you
already know they have to understand it and
it's the same way in married life now
think if your child never goes to school
there is no interest in understanding multiplication and
division you think it will ever understand multiplication
and division no not at all you got
to make an effort there is absolutely nothing
in life that you can learn without making
an effort if some of you are doing
well in your professions today many of you
are college graduates did you get your degree
without any effort and after you got your
degree what about your profession what you are
engaged in now did you learn that without
any effort you got a new job and
you tried your best to learn your profession
even if you are in business you have
to learn the secrets of business so in
everything there is understanding but when it comes
to marriage I find that very few husbands
seeks to understand their wives they say hey
we got married that's it very few wives
seek to understand their husbands and no wonder
there are problems think if your child said
oh I got admission into school that's it
now I know addition, subtraction, division you don't
know anything my little boy you just got
admission in school you don't know a thing
you got to work hard if you want
to learn addition, subtraction multiplication, division, square root,
calculus all the way you got to learn
you got to apply your mind why is
it in every area we are willing to
understand we know it takes time to understand
we make an effort to understand why is
it many of you in your jobs have
worked so hard to understand your profession and
that's why you are doing so well and
that's why you are making money think if
you didn't care to understand your profession where
would you be today you would be a
failure in life how do you understand the
reason for failure in marriage live in an
understanding way seek to understand the bible says
seek to understand say lord please help me
to understand my wife and your wife say
please lord please help me to understand my
husband please help me to understand the laws
of marriage you didn't need to you couldn't
learn that when you were single I mean
single is all theory see basically you need
to understand that from the time Adam and
Eve sinned and the very first thing Adam
did was blame his wife why was it
the very first thing he did I mean
who gave him this bright idea to blame
his wife I'm sure it was the devil
when god came to him and said did
you do it satan whispered in his ear
hey put the blame on your wife he
did it and the wife put the blame
on the serpent so from that day a
poison has entered into our system which is
the cause of all the problems in our
married life this poison and Jesus came to
remove that poison he came to deliver us
from it not only to forgive our past
failure I want to tell you the good
news is that even if you made a
mess of your married life you need two
things one you need forgiveness from god for
all the wrong things you did in your
past and you need to forgive one another
also husband and wife the second thing is
I mean forgiveness alone doesn't solve the problem
it's like your child supposing your child wets
the bed all children do when they are
born but don't you hope that one day
your child will stop wetting the bed and
dirtying the diapers napkins sure every parent is
looking forward to the day when you can
remove the diapers I want to tell you
god is also looking forward to the day
when he can remove the diapers from his
children who are always dirtying it everyday with
sin when are we going to grow up?
of course when the child wets the bed
you can change the sheets wets it again
you can change the sheets it's now 15
years old still wetting the bed you change
the sheets when is it going to grow
up?
you have been married 15 years and you
yell at each other and dirty your napkins
ok change it when are you going to
grow up?
it's the same question god can help you
in the early years of married life the
fact that we have disagreements rubs and explosions
is probably as normal as a child wetting
a bed but I want to tell you
that just like you don't expect your child
to keep on wetting that bed forever, your
marriage is not supposed to continue like that
forever you got to learn to stop wetting
your bed wetting your marriage bed with fights
and quarrels god can help you but we
got to recognize this poison inside which makes
us selfish the biggest the root cause of
all sin is selfishness let me paint a
picture here of a tree get the picture
of this tree this tree is called sin
ok and the roots you dig up and
examine the roots the roots are selfishness selfishness
from those roots come this massive tree that
through the years becomes a solid tree full
of sin with all the bad fruit it
brings out of bad words and bad actions
and bad thoughts and bad attitudes and all
types of things now how to get rid
of it I told you first you got
to say I'm sorry I made a mistake
but that doesn't solve the problem because that
only deals with what has already been done
but are you going to keep on doing
it forever see we have two problems one
is the past and one is the future
in the past we have already made so
many mistakes and we need forgiveness but we
also need help for the future that we
are not going to wet the bed again
we are not going to keep on doing
this thing forever and ever and for that
the bible says Jesus came to lay the
axe to the root you read that in
Matthew chapter 3 Jesus came to lay the
axe to the root in the old testament
Moses came with a pair of scissors and
just cut off all the bad fruit looks
a nice tree now without all the bad
fruit that's what the law did ok don't
commit murder don't commit adultery and don't steal
don't bear false witness and cut off all
the fruit but the root is still there
and again it comes out and you got
to keep going around with your scissors all
the time and they went around with those
scissors called the law for 1500 years and
it never solved the problem because the root
was still there and then john the baptist
came in Matthew chapter 3 and he said
now Jesus has come with not a scissors
he has come with an axe and he
is going to lay the axe to the
root of self centered selfishness in your life
and then you will find this problem of
bad fruit is solved do you know that
that's what Jesus has come to do he
has come to deal with this self centered
selfish life now when you were single you
could handle this self centered life because I
mean you know how it is when you
are a single person supposing you are working
fellowshipping with somebody and that fellow has a
problem you can leave him and go and
find somebody else and then if everybody you
had a tough day in the world and
everybody is causing problem for you so you
can go back to your room at night
and at last you are alone but now
you are married and when you go back
to your room at night there is somebody
else there whom you can't escape from and
she is also a selfish person just like
you and here are two selfish people now
trying to live together in the same home
and can you imagine the problems unless the
lord comes and does something about this and
if you can acknowledge this and say lord
all the problems have come out of my
selfish thinking only about my convenience my feelings
the way I was brought up in my
home the way we have always done it
in our home is like this and I
don't want to yield to another person who
is always done it another way and who
is always brought up in their home in
another way then comes the conflicts in spending
money how we spend our time so many
things I want to say to you my
dear brothers and sisters married couples the most
important thing in your home please remember this
is that both of you are happy and
glad in Jesus Christ the most important thing
in your home is not to give other
people an impression but that it must be
real the most important thing is not just
every room in your house must be neat
and you can have good food those are
not the most important things the most important
thing is happiness between husband and wife I
remember a story that I have often quoted
of a very god fearing couple that I
knew dead and gone now very elderly couple
where the husband was a very orderly type
of man you know how some people are
everything is orderly everything is arranged neatly tables
are always neat they always put their shoes
in the proper place they hang their clothes
in the proper place there are a few
people in the world like that believe it
or not there are a few people like
that who are like that and then the
wife was exactly the opposite here and there
it is really exciting when two such people
get married you know a lot of opportunity
for taking up the cross and denying oneself
so this brother one particular thing I remember
I heard he would go to the kitchen
to help his wife wash up you know
one of those things which we Indian husbands
don't do but they do that in the
west they help their wives to wash up
in the kitchen and put the plates and
spoons and all in the right place and
being this disorderly type of wife her kitchen
was a mess plates, spoons, forks all sort
of haphazard and here is this orderly husband
doing the washing up one day when his
wife was not well and he sees all
this and look at the wisdom of this
man that's what I want you to see
the wisdom of this man he cleans up
all the plates and forks and knives and
all and puts it in the same disorderly
way that it was there the chaotic completely
contrary to his nature chaotic you know why
I will tell you the reason and you
will see the wisdom of this man he
said if I arrange this kitchen and make
it perfect my wife will come and say
boy I can never do it like this
like my husband does and she will get
more discouraged I don't want my wife to
be discouraged I don't care if the kitchen
is chaos I want a happy marriage he
was a wise man what does it matter
if in your kitchen the plates are here
and the forks are there and all is
a big mess if you have a happy
marriage far better than somebody who has got
everything lined up neatly and they are fighting
with each other that was wisdom that he
didn't want to do something that would make
his wife feel small compared to him that
is living in an understanding way to think
how will she feel if I do it
like this as I said we don't start
like that we usually start with expressing our
opinion pretty openly and giving people not just
a piece of our mind but whole mind
we give to people and she gives her
whole mind to us that's how we start
then as we grow the pieces become smaller
and smaller and the day will come when
we begin to think a little more of
what the other person is thinking and okay
I want a happy marriage I don't want
a neat and tidy home if you can
have a happy marriage and a neat and
tidy home praise the lord, have it but
if you have a choice between the two
my dear brothers and sisters don't be fools,
choose a happy marriage what's that neat and
tidy home for to show other people what's
a happy marriage for it's the best thing
in the world the computer is working perfectly
now it's working faster than what even the
company said it would work think of that
think that you can have a marriage like
that if you are willing to just say
lord like my child studies chemistry, physics biology,
help me also to understand this thing called
marriage to let Jesus be lord of my
life see that's why it's very important let
me conclude with this you know this book
as I told you the first Old Testament
begins with the marriage, New Testament begins with
the marriage there's no book in the world,
if you want a marriage guidance book, here
it is you follow the rules in this
book you'll have a perfect marriage you'll reach
the top of Mount Everest, you'll reach the
moon you'll reach heaven not only the moon
and not only that heaven will come down
into your home you'll have two heavens one
here on earth and one after you die
that's the message of the gospel that if
you obey these words your home can be
like a little foretaste of heaven and if
you don't obey it it'll be a foretaste
of hell then you have two hells one
now and one later on so you can
have a choice I think a lot of
people have two hells or two heavens very
few people have two heavens but you can
have it if you follow the rules and
say Lord I want to, I mean will
some of you follow some of these two
three simple principles I said first of all
acknowledge your need learn that rhyme remember it
or you've forgotten it already it was my
mistake I'm sorry and believe, faith, very important
you know in the New Testament Jesus said
believe that God wants you to have a
very good married life to work at it,
like these fellas climb Mount Everest like the
fellas reach the moon you're gonna reach the
top of this wonderful life where God can
look at your marriage and say very good
and then this last thing I said in
order to help you reach there say Lord
help me to understand help me to understand
my wife help me to understand my husband
please give me the power of your Holy
Spirit please forgive my sins let Jesus come
and be Lord not only of your life
but of your home you know let this
book let the word of God guide you
and your wife, you and your husband in
the way you run your home and if
some of you maybe your husbands are not
interested in it or your wives are not
interested never mind you work at it and
show that it works you know there's nothing
like demonstration we don't want to be preachers,
I say if it doesn't work, don't preach
it the trouble with a lot of Christianity
is a lot of people are preaching something
and people are turned off from it because
they say we look at these fellas lives,
it doesn't work I mean supposing I were
selling this oil is guaranteed to restore hair
on your head guaranteed how many of you
will buy it, tell me I say guaranteed
even if I say money back and everything
else you will not you say Brezak I
don't really feel happy, you say something nice
to me you won't tell me the real
reason but you know the real reason this
thing hasn't worked in this fellas life he
doesn't have it on his own head obviously
it doesn't work you know that's how a
lot of people are preaching the gospel today
oh this gospel, take it oh it will
change you, heaven will come down heaven and
glory will fill your life and all these
fantastic things and they come and see how
you live at home thank you we're not
really excited about this they say something nice
and go away you know we need to
be ashamed of ourselves if you're a Christian
I say Lord I don't want to proclaim
something I don't want to put a sales
pitch to something that doesn't work I want
to say to you my brother, sister I've
been married 35 years, it works I'm not
selling some hair restoring oil I'm telling you
something that really works you can have a
happy marriage you can have a marriage where
you never raise your voice at your wife
even once in 365 days and 366 days
in a leap year just by the way
sure that's a guarantee it's because God's word
says that but you got to work at
it and when you fail you got to
say Lord it was my fault, I'm sorry
and tell your wife, that's my fault, I'm
sorry forgive me do it my brothers and
sisters and let's demonstrate to this country that
Jesus Christ is all powerful he can give
us happy marriages, make him lord of your
life how will you know what this book
says the manufacturer's instructions you've read your computer
instructions your washing machine instructions more than you've
read the most important instructions do you value
your washing machine more than your marriage do
you value some wretched computer more than your
marriage let's be wise from today and say
Lord Jesus help me he can solve every
problem acknowledge your need come to him in
faith, let's bow our heads in prayer while
our heads are bowed in prayer remember the
first step is to acknowledge your need to
God first tell him you have no wine
tell him the wine has run out maybe
you never had wine right from day one
of your marriage tell him he understands say
Lord I want to work on my marriage
I want you Lord Jesus to come into
our home and be lord of our home
and of our life I'm sorry for having
brought a bad name to Jesus Christ through
my past years but it's going to be
different from today forgive me my sins cleanse
me in your blood and Lord give me
the power of your Holy Spirit in my
life so that I can be free from
this selfishness that has destroyed my marriage help
me to see the way you walked of
denying yourself and your life was so happy
help me to walk that way to choose
that way to find happiness in my life
and peace in my home and to bring
up my children in an atmosphere of peace
Lord please help me and Lord help me
to I believe that you will help me
I believe that we can reach the top
of this mountain and you will give me
grace for it and help me to understand
my partner better to take time to study
to understand how she is different from me
or he is different from me and to
bear with her to bear with him and
to accept my partner the way you made
her made him that together we can manifest
a beautiful married life for your glory so
we can bless other people I believe that
many of you if not all of you
are praying that prayer sincerely right now I
want to say to you that Jesus hears
you and he will help you he will
believe that believe that that little prayer you
prayed in your heart to God now he
will help www
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